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Daughters for a Time
Feelings of abandonment fill Helen Francis at a too-young age when her mother dies and her father walks out. Left in the care of her older sister, Claire, she moves on but never truly heals. Now thirty-five and married, Helen is desperate to start a family of her own. After four unsuccessful years of trying to become pregnant, Helen accepts the idea of adoption.
When her baby is finally in her arms, Helen experiences true exaltation. But she is quickly blindsided with the worst possible Claire has cancer. Helen's wounds are again torn open as she balances the bliss of a new daughter with the grief of a dying sister.
When her baby is finally in her arms, Helen experiences true exaltation. But she is quickly blindsided with the worst possible Claire has cancer. Helen's wounds are again torn open as she balances the bliss of a new daughter with the grief of a dying sister.
302 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
397 people are currently reading
1988 people want to read
About the author
Jennifer Handford
7 books75 followersA native of Phoenix, Arizona, Jennifer Handford now lives in the Washington, DC, area with her husband and three children. One of three first-place finalists in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest in 2010, she published her first novel, DAUGHTERS FOR A TIME, in 2012. People magazine hailed it as “a wrenching, resonant debut about infertility, cancer and adoption. Grab your hankies.” In 2014, ACTS OF CONTRITION was published. THE LIGHT OF HIDDEN FLOWERS was released in November 2015 and nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. Midwest Book Review called it "A deftly crafted and deeply engaging story from beginning to end." Jennifer is busy at work on her fourth book, a historical piece of fiction about a grown woman searching for her biological mother. She also blogs about Middle Grade fiction.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 305 reviews
October 29, 2014
This book was surprisingly good. Not generally the type of literature I seek, but there was a depth to the story that drew me in. For anyone who has found that family is complicated or that the feelings they have for children sometimes supercede blood ties, this book will ring bells.
May 27, 2012
This was a Kindle Daily Deal but I honestly don't remember why it caught my attention. I'm not sure of the exact definition of chick lit (I hate the label) but I think I can safely say this qualifies.
Not my usual cup of tea but compelling. Helen has a great, nice-guy husband (Tim) and they adore each other. Their courtship and early marriage are romantic and idyllic until Helen sinks further and further into depression and feelings of inadequacy because she can't concieve a child.
I can't relate to her struggles to have a biological child but her dysfunctional family dynamics are familiar. Her fear of more abandonment is a realistic deterrent to the Chinese adoption Tim and her sister, Claire, are encouraging her to pursue.
For me, the story was most engaging while I was learning about the Chinese adoption process, especially when Helen and Tim travel to China to bring home their new one-year-old daughter. After that, the story changes direction and became less interesting, but still emotional. Without spoiling the story, Helen learns that creating a family has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with acceptance and forgiveness.
Not my usual cup of tea but compelling. Helen has a great, nice-guy husband (Tim) and they adore each other. Their courtship and early marriage are romantic and idyllic until Helen sinks further and further into depression and feelings of inadequacy because she can't concieve a child.
I can't relate to her struggles to have a biological child but her dysfunctional family dynamics are familiar. Her fear of more abandonment is a realistic deterrent to the Chinese adoption Tim and her sister, Claire, are encouraging her to pursue.
For me, the story was most engaging while I was learning about the Chinese adoption process, especially when Helen and Tim travel to China to bring home their new one-year-old daughter. After that, the story changes direction and became less interesting, but still emotional. Without spoiling the story, Helen learns that creating a family has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with acceptance and forgiveness.
May 28, 2012
SPOILER ALERT: Yes I cried. More than once. But why could Helen so easily carry a baby to term with Claire's egg through in-vitro? This begs the question as to why she just didn't try this earlier with her own or a donor egg. I also thought that Claire's death was rushed and forced. Claire didn't need to be sacrificd to save the story. Helen could have been developed in so many ways, but in order to help Helen fulfill a need she didn't know she had Claire had to die. Too contrived
May 26, 2012
This is a book that would touch every woman. It is primarily about a woman forced to face her infertility and undergo adoption. But it is also about relationships between mother and daughter, father and daughter, sisters, aunt and niece, and husband and wife. It is also about the big C- cancer, infidelity, and death. Is that enough drama for one book? It worked though because it was depressing and real. There wasn't a lot of happiness in this book. Your heart felt heavy the whole time. You can't help think about your own relationships in your life and what you would do in these situations while reading this book. I feel this author will help a lot of women struggling with these issues or help women to be more empathetic to other women who are.
What I liked best about this book was the insight the author provided into many things. First of all, the main character Helen's father cheated on her mother and she got ovarian cancer and died. Her father couldn't handle the guilt of the infidelity and the grief of the cancer so he left leaving Helen's older sister Claire in charge of taking care of her dying mother and little sister. How can you not feel sorry for both these daughters? What a tragic thing to happen. Helen didn't handle her mother's cancer well and just got angry at her mother for being that way. She was just a little girl and couldn't understand what was happening to her mother, so she was scared and afraid. But she was left with a lot of guilt when her mother died for acting the way she did toward her mother. Because she lost her mother at such a young age, she yearned to fill that mother-daughter void by having a child of her own. That was why she was even more devastated when she learned she would never have her own child. Poor Claire had to be so in control and together for the sake of her little sister Helen and herself. She was a caretaker to her dying mother and raise her sister. This changed the whole dynamic of her and Helen's relationship. It is like she lost a sister too when her mother died.
Helen had relationship issues with men because her father had left her. She expected and thought that it was ok for men to get what they wanted from her and leave her. That led her to get taken advantage of by many men. I never thought of it that way. It makes sense that you do what is familiar and most comfortable. "Love hurt, that is what a girl learned when her father left." When asked why he cheated on their mother, he said "The woman made me feel like I was young and wanted." These were great quotes.
I liked how Helen admitted that she didn't see the good in people like her husband Tim did. It seemed very appropriate given her history. It also made the story seem not as cheesy. Helen was a real person damaged by things that happened in her life. This made her easier to relate to then some woman that was perfect and happy all the time no matter what happened to her.
Helen learned that adopted children may have OCD tendencies and behavioral issues. This made her better able to handle situations that popped up while in public and then better able to talk with children about. Knowing what is really behind children's quirks is really key in parenting but too bad not every kid comes with a diagnoses.
This was a great book and I hope the author becomes a regular one to read.
What I liked best about this book was the insight the author provided into many things. First of all, the main character Helen's father cheated on her mother and she got ovarian cancer and died. Her father couldn't handle the guilt of the infidelity and the grief of the cancer so he left leaving Helen's older sister Claire in charge of taking care of her dying mother and little sister. How can you not feel sorry for both these daughters? What a tragic thing to happen. Helen didn't handle her mother's cancer well and just got angry at her mother for being that way. She was just a little girl and couldn't understand what was happening to her mother, so she was scared and afraid. But she was left with a lot of guilt when her mother died for acting the way she did toward her mother. Because she lost her mother at such a young age, she yearned to fill that mother-daughter void by having a child of her own. That was why she was even more devastated when she learned she would never have her own child. Poor Claire had to be so in control and together for the sake of her little sister Helen and herself. She was a caretaker to her dying mother and raise her sister. This changed the whole dynamic of her and Helen's relationship. It is like she lost a sister too when her mother died.
Helen had relationship issues with men because her father had left her. She expected and thought that it was ok for men to get what they wanted from her and leave her. That led her to get taken advantage of by many men. I never thought of it that way. It makes sense that you do what is familiar and most comfortable. "Love hurt, that is what a girl learned when her father left." When asked why he cheated on their mother, he said "The woman made me feel like I was young and wanted." These were great quotes.
I liked how Helen admitted that she didn't see the good in people like her husband Tim did. It seemed very appropriate given her history. It also made the story seem not as cheesy. Helen was a real person damaged by things that happened in her life. This made her easier to relate to then some woman that was perfect and happy all the time no matter what happened to her.
Helen learned that adopted children may have OCD tendencies and behavioral issues. This made her better able to handle situations that popped up while in public and then better able to talk with children about. Knowing what is really behind children's quirks is really key in parenting but too bad not every kid comes with a diagnoses.
This was a great book and I hope the author becomes a regular one to read.
August 10, 2014
In many ways this well written book hit home, close to my heart. Like Helen Francis, I am no longer a daughter. I, too, suffered through many years of infertility and pregnancy losses (many more of each for me). I, too, adopted from China, though my babies didn't have any of the issues her little Sam had at first, nor did I carry around the fears she did.
The novel had some weaknesses, and it began to dwell in the land of Christian beliefs in the end, and really lost me there, but as a mother, I could relate to Helen's longings, her hopes, her joy when, finally and ultimately, a baby was placed in her arms. Unlike Helen, I did not feel a huge need to have a child genetically linked to my husband and myself. I wanted to be a mother! It took Helen longer to come to that realization than it did for me. She worried greatly that her baby would have issues based on being abandoned as a newborn. I never worried as we were assured the babies in China were held every day, unlike in orphanages in Russia and other countries. My girls were happy and loving and content, and able to fall in love with their new families very easily. We have had no issues in 18 years!
The novel is sad, very, very sad, for Helen lost her mother when she was a child. I still weep for my own mother, and I had her for 53 years! Helen had a father who left her and her sister when her mother died. I had a devoted, loyal and loving father until the day he died. So perhaps her worrying about her Chinese baby having abandonment issues was more a reflection of her own issues, and less about the baby, though the author had characters warn her of potential problems. Baby Sam is a year old when Helen and Tim adopt her. My girls were 4 or 5 months old, which may have made a difference as well.
There are loving characters in this book, all very human and real and likeable, even with their faults. I wept through the last 30 or so pages, and would have given it 4 stars, had the author not brought in Jesus and angels. I like novels based in reality, and for me, in my world, that is not reality.
If you are looking for a book that will grab you from the first word and hold your interest until the very last, this one will do that. Keep your hankies nearby.
The novel had some weaknesses, and it began to dwell in the land of Christian beliefs in the end, and really lost me there, but as a mother, I could relate to Helen's longings, her hopes, her joy when, finally and ultimately, a baby was placed in her arms. Unlike Helen, I did not feel a huge need to have a child genetically linked to my husband and myself. I wanted to be a mother! It took Helen longer to come to that realization than it did for me. She worried greatly that her baby would have issues based on being abandoned as a newborn. I never worried as we were assured the babies in China were held every day, unlike in orphanages in Russia and other countries. My girls were happy and loving and content, and able to fall in love with their new families very easily. We have had no issues in 18 years!
The novel is sad, very, very sad, for Helen lost her mother when she was a child. I still weep for my own mother, and I had her for 53 years! Helen had a father who left her and her sister when her mother died. I had a devoted, loyal and loving father until the day he died. So perhaps her worrying about her Chinese baby having abandonment issues was more a reflection of her own issues, and less about the baby, though the author had characters warn her of potential problems. Baby Sam is a year old when Helen and Tim adopt her. My girls were 4 or 5 months old, which may have made a difference as well.
There are loving characters in this book, all very human and real and likeable, even with their faults. I wept through the last 30 or so pages, and would have given it 4 stars, had the author not brought in Jesus and angels. I like novels based in reality, and for me, in my world, that is not reality.
If you are looking for a book that will grab you from the first word and hold your interest until the very last, this one will do that. Keep your hankies nearby.
April 25, 2012
Daughters for a Time is a family story of how our families are not always blood related but they are our families all the same. It's a story about how not all families are alike but they can still come together when needed. Sometimes family is all you have to get through the really, really tough times and it can be difficult to figure that out.I was very interested in this book because it tackled the idea and the decision to adopt. I personally think that adoption is really cool. There are so many children out there in the world that really could use a loving home. This book sort of gives an inside picture about what it might be like to adopt a child. There's more storylines within the book but the main one does have to deal with adoption.
Helen and Tim try to get pregnant for several years before Helen eventually gives in to her husband's suggestion that they try to adopt a baby from China. I know that's a really difficult (and very personal) decision to make but Helen seems to drag her feet too much. I had a really hard time getting behind her feet dragging though. I wanted Helen to realize that it's about the love that you can give a child and not whether or not you actually carried the child in your womb. I had to keep reminding myself that there are people out there that do not agree with that sentiment and that it's okay that they don't see it the same way that I do. Helen eventually comes around to the idea and I ended up liking her character a lot by the end because she finally seemed to get that it is all about love and coming together to be a family.
This is a great book for people that don't mind a tough story and don't mind being a little sad through a book. I definitely don't mind this. In the case of Daughters for a Time, I felt that the sadness was definitely warranted, which is why I was totally okay with it. This story will definitely tug on your heartstrings a little bit.
Bottom line: Contemporary fiction readers who don't mind tough subjects will enjoy this book.
Helen and Tim try to get pregnant for several years before Helen eventually gives in to her husband's suggestion that they try to adopt a baby from China. I know that's a really difficult (and very personal) decision to make but Helen seems to drag her feet too much. I had a really hard time getting behind her feet dragging though. I wanted Helen to realize that it's about the love that you can give a child and not whether or not you actually carried the child in your womb. I had to keep reminding myself that there are people out there that do not agree with that sentiment and that it's okay that they don't see it the same way that I do. Helen eventually comes around to the idea and I ended up liking her character a lot by the end because she finally seemed to get that it is all about love and coming together to be a family.
This is a great book for people that don't mind a tough story and don't mind being a little sad through a book. I definitely don't mind this. In the case of Daughters for a Time, I felt that the sadness was definitely warranted, which is why I was totally okay with it. This story will definitely tug on your heartstrings a little bit.
Bottom line: Contemporary fiction readers who don't mind tough subjects will enjoy this book.
January 1, 2013
This was a meaningful, impacting book. It details one woman's journey through infertility, adoption, working through past loss, and then grieving through a fresh loss. This was good for me to read as a foster parent and one I will use to complete and Independent Learner form for continuing education credit. Delving into the stress and strain that people have to go through with major loss, abandonment by parents, and raising a child who is not biologically their own is always helpful for us to further identify with children who have or may come into our care.
All that to say, as important as this story is, some of it fell flat for me. Although it revealed feelings and thoughts of the main character, it seemed to lack a significant depth to it. When the unthinkable happens, I was unmoved for some reason. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something missing in the writing of it that would have made it more emotional and less intellectual for me.
All that to say, as important as this story is, some of it fell flat for me. Although it revealed feelings and thoughts of the main character, it seemed to lack a significant depth to it. When the unthinkable happens, I was unmoved for some reason. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something missing in the writing of it that would have made it more emotional and less intellectual for me.
June 25, 2012
This was actually a good book. I found it while browsing my Kindle and figured I couldn't go too wrong, since it was fairly inexpensive.
Helen appears to be a typical infertile character at first, but there are layers to Helen that give her more depth than simply wanting a baby. Her grief rings true.
None of the characters ever seem to want for money, despite the fact that none of them appear to really work. Tim owns a busy, up-and-coming restaurant in D.C. and yet he can leave any time he wants? Not exactly how I understand the restaurant business to be, but it does give Tim the ability to come and go from various hospitals and doctor's offices without any angst. Plus, Tim is really nothing but set decoration for Helen. Does it really matter that his professional life is less than realistic?
Helen appears to be a typical infertile character at first, but there are layers to Helen that give her more depth than simply wanting a baby. Her grief rings true.
None of the characters ever seem to want for money, despite the fact that none of them appear to really work. Tim owns a busy, up-and-coming restaurant in D.C. and yet he can leave any time he wants? Not exactly how I understand the restaurant business to be, but it does give Tim the ability to come and go from various hospitals and doctor's offices without any angst. Plus, Tim is really nothing but set decoration for Helen. Does it really matter that his professional life is less than realistic?
July 25, 2015
I was torn on what rating to give this book. Yes, toward the end it was pretty gripping and I did get very emotionally involved in the story but could I go so far as to say that I 'really' liked it? This book was a slow starter. I kept reading because a book has to actually be bad for me to stop and it was an easy to read book. But I found Helen and Claire, the two sisters and two main characters, to be be quite frustrating, almost annoying at times. It was an interesting idea for a storyline but at the same time it felt dragged out in places - like someone taking a really long time and including too many details as they tell you their story. By the end their story did draw me in more and I even began to empathise or sympathise and care more. But in the end, on balance I can't truly say more than a simple 'I liked this'!
February 27, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. I was blessed to have a baby girl almost 3 years ago but have been dealing with secondary infertility for over 2 years. Most of my friends are working on starting or expanding their families and I'm constantly surprised at how many have struggled or are struggling with infertility. My husband and I have already discussed the possibility of adopting if it's not in the cards for us to have another biological child. Reading this book touched my heart and I spent several nights crying while reading. This is definitely a good choice for women that cherish the relationship between mothers and daughters, and the bond between sisters.
June 26, 2013
Sadly this book just didn't work for me. It had all the ingredients that should have made it compelling (infertility, adoption, overseas travel, family, health) but after the first 40% I just wasn't bothered anymore.
Shame, as there were a couple of really touching moments but it was a bit too self-satisfied and the religious fervour kept creeping in. It all wrapped up too neatly at the end (despite a particularly sad chapter)that I am not sure why I bothered to finish it.
Everyone else loved it, perhaps it got a lower score after a stream of 3* books.
Shame, as there were a couple of really touching moments but it was a bit too self-satisfied and the religious fervour kept creeping in. It all wrapped up too neatly at the end (despite a particularly sad chapter)that I am not sure why I bothered to finish it.
Everyone else loved it, perhaps it got a lower score after a stream of 3* books.
July 15, 2012
Wow! What a fantastic read. The subject matter is sad, but I should say that it wasn't over the top and it left me feeling uplifted, not morose.
This book spans all sorts of tough subjects, infertility, lose of a loved one, adoptions, child bearing etc etc etc. I could not put it down. I certainly hope Jennifer Handford writes more books! Loved this book.
This book spans all sorts of tough subjects, infertility, lose of a loved one, adoptions, child bearing etc etc etc. I could not put it down. I certainly hope Jennifer Handford writes more books! Loved this book.
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March 2, 2012I don't like to review books I'm going to narrate.
What I can say is that this is an emotionally tender story about mothers, daughters, sisters, and the ties that bind us. :) Looking forward to narrating it.
What I can say is that this is an emotionally tender story about mothers, daughters, sisters, and the ties that bind us. :) Looking forward to narrating it.
May 19, 2012
I like the story and there were some passages of really beautiful emotions and feelings. But I think it just was not a super well written novel. Even though the story was there, the story telling skills weren't. I just felt kind of 'eh' after finishing it.
May 15, 2012
This is an emotional read. It's hard to not connect with the characters and to feel the emotions that are being described. Recommend this book if you are in the mood for a tear-jerker.
October 31, 2020
I picked this book up on a whim because it was on my shelf and I am so glad I did. Was it perfect? No. But was it heartfelt, emotional and engaging from cover to cover? Yes!
This book is about Helen. She is a woman who is married and trying to have babies but nothing is working. She has fertility issues that stem from her egg quality and month after month it keeps not happening. She is so depressed she no longer works in the restaurant she and her husband own and she really does nothing all day but stir in her misery. To top it off, she has an older sister who is perfect (but not in an annoying way). Her sister, Claire, has a 5 year old daughter and is one of the most organized, all together type people. I loved seeing the sister relationship. Their mother died young of ovarian cancer so Claire was left to raise Helen to some extent. Helen wants to be a mother so bad and eventually she and her husband decide to adopt a little girl from China.
This book is such a wonderful portrayal of love and family and what it means to be a mother. Motherhood can look SO many ways and this book did not shy away from that. This book is also heartbreaking as we see the grieving process through multiple perspectives and we discuss how hard it can be to cope with loss, especially in the case of untimely death.
There were a couple points in this book that I thought were a little rushed. The death that happens in this book progressed really quickly. Furthermore, the baby that is born on page seemed to happen very easily. I'll talk more about these things in the spoiler section, but those are really my only complaints.
If you are looking for a happy, light hearted book-- this is not it. But if you're looking for a book on family and love and the ups and downs of both-- I'd definitely recommend you pick this up!
SPOILERS AHEAD:
Helen and her husband could never get pregnant because of her faulty eggs. Long story short, her sister is her best friend and the 2 girls have lived in fear of getting the ovarian cancer that took their mother too soon. The day comes and Claire gets diagnosed. She dies super quick, leaving her 5 year old daughter and her husband. Helen had been taking care of the daughter a lot and she had become a great "big sister" to their one year old (adopted from China). Before Claire died she had the eggs frozen from her good ovary and said she wanted Helen to have them. So Helen and her husband do IVF with Claire's eggs and she gives birth to another little girl. In the very end, they get one MORE little girl because they had put in a request to adopt a Chinese sister for Sam.
Ross (Claire's husband) and Maura live across the street and Helen and her husband have Sam, their biological, and another Chinese daughter. Together they make one big happy family.
The parts that made me cry were the descriptions of Maura and Claire's relationship. It sounds like Claire was a wonderful mother and Maura yelled for her and cried so much after she died. I cannot fathom leaving my girls and this definitely pulled at my heart strings!
This book is about Helen. She is a woman who is married and trying to have babies but nothing is working. She has fertility issues that stem from her egg quality and month after month it keeps not happening. She is so depressed she no longer works in the restaurant she and her husband own and she really does nothing all day but stir in her misery. To top it off, she has an older sister who is perfect (but not in an annoying way). Her sister, Claire, has a 5 year old daughter and is one of the most organized, all together type people. I loved seeing the sister relationship. Their mother died young of ovarian cancer so Claire was left to raise Helen to some extent. Helen wants to be a mother so bad and eventually she and her husband decide to adopt a little girl from China.
This book is such a wonderful portrayal of love and family and what it means to be a mother. Motherhood can look SO many ways and this book did not shy away from that. This book is also heartbreaking as we see the grieving process through multiple perspectives and we discuss how hard it can be to cope with loss, especially in the case of untimely death.
There were a couple points in this book that I thought were a little rushed. The death that happens in this book progressed really quickly. Furthermore, the baby that is born on page seemed to happen very easily. I'll talk more about these things in the spoiler section, but those are really my only complaints.
If you are looking for a happy, light hearted book-- this is not it. But if you're looking for a book on family and love and the ups and downs of both-- I'd definitely recommend you pick this up!
SPOILERS AHEAD:
Helen and her husband could never get pregnant because of her faulty eggs. Long story short, her sister is her best friend and the 2 girls have lived in fear of getting the ovarian cancer that took their mother too soon. The day comes and Claire gets diagnosed. She dies super quick, leaving her 5 year old daughter and her husband. Helen had been taking care of the daughter a lot and she had become a great "big sister" to their one year old (adopted from China). Before Claire died she had the eggs frozen from her good ovary and said she wanted Helen to have them. So Helen and her husband do IVF with Claire's eggs and she gives birth to another little girl. In the very end, they get one MORE little girl because they had put in a request to adopt a Chinese sister for Sam.
Ross (Claire's husband) and Maura live across the street and Helen and her husband have Sam, their biological, and another Chinese daughter. Together they make one big happy family.
The parts that made me cry were the descriptions of Maura and Claire's relationship. It sounds like Claire was a wonderful mother and Maura yelled for her and cried so much after she died. I cannot fathom leaving my girls and this definitely pulled at my heart strings!
November 28, 2021
A beautiful, tragic weaving of love and grief.
November 28, 2018
Have Kleenex ready
Good book and a quick read. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Hard to put down. I actually had years in a few parts of the book.
Good book and a quick read. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Hard to put down. I actually had years in a few parts of the book.
July 28, 2016
"I. I. Me. I. Me. Me. Myself. My. I."
This is all that I read in this book. The whole story revolved around Helen - and NOT in a good way! I would have expected her to have grown out of her self-centred, privileged, wallowing character and emerged as a new strong character by the end, but the whole story just ended with her having another baby because she wanted one.
NONE, and I mean none, of the issues about adopting outside of the child's culture were dealt with. For example, why did her parents find it absolutely fine to change the baby's name when that's what her name had been for a year? Ok, fine if you're going to change it, but at least acknowledge the consequences of doing that! What about the child growing up and being different to the rest of the family? - that wasn't covered at all - it was all wonderful because the "hole in Helen's heart made by the death of her own mother" would be filled with the love Helen felt for a her daughter.
This was badly done and just made me dislike the adoptive parents for their callousness, self-centredness and lack of awareness. Even if what they were doing was a wonderful thing, not considering some of these issues I would argue had a dehumanising effect on the baby - almost like the baby was only an accessory to make her American parents' lives happier.
This is all that I read in this book. The whole story revolved around Helen - and NOT in a good way! I would have expected her to have grown out of her self-centred, privileged, wallowing character and emerged as a new strong character by the end, but the whole story just ended with her having another baby because she wanted one.
NONE, and I mean none, of the issues about adopting outside of the child's culture were dealt with. For example, why did her parents find it absolutely fine to change the baby's name when that's what her name had been for a year? Ok, fine if you're going to change it, but at least acknowledge the consequences of doing that! What about the child growing up and being different to the rest of the family? - that wasn't covered at all - it was all wonderful because the "hole in Helen's heart made by the death of her own mother" would be filled with the love Helen felt for a her daughter.
This was badly done and just made me dislike the adoptive parents for their callousness, self-centredness and lack of awareness. Even if what they were doing was a wonderful thing, not considering some of these issues I would argue had a dehumanising effect on the baby - almost like the baby was only an accessory to make her American parents' lives happier.
October 28, 2018
This book is hard for me to review. It kept my attention; I read it in a day and a half. I mostly liked it. There was something I didn't quite like and I'm not sure what it was. I think maybe I didn't like the main character (Helen) very much. Again, I'm not sure why. She just never drew out my sympathies. Otherwise, it was a good story. Two sisters were left parentless when the father left and shortly afterwards the mother died. They both (especially Helen) struggled with issues of abandonment and trust. There were a lot of other issues, too. Some might consider this book overly sad. But I know this accumulation of sad events can happen within one family or group, so in my opinion it didn't seem exaggerated. Some food for thought, some interesting turns. Overall, it was good but wasn't a favorite. (Many people have given this book 5 stars; maybe you will be one of them. I just can't do more than 3.)
March 4, 2018
Feeling inadequate seems to be the theme of this woman's life after the abandonment of her father, the death of her mother a year later when she was 13 and then being brought up by her super efficient sister. And now she is facing the fact of infertility after 5 years of obsessively trying to get pregnant. After resisting every mention of adopting, she finally gives in to her loving husband and they manage to bring home an adorable little girl from China. Through the adoption and then facing her sister's battle with the same cancer that killed her mother, she is finally able to work out the feelings she has been overwhelmed with since her teens.
I loved the story of the creation of her new definition of family and the growth of confidence, with the ability to accept life as it is as she grows into her new life.
I loved the story of the creation of her new definition of family and the growth of confidence, with the ability to accept life as it is as she grows into her new life.
September 13, 2013
This book was hit and miss for me, but a little more hit than miss. Cancer is a very personal topic for me, as it has hit my family more than once. Also, as someone who is unable to have children, I understood her struggle with infertility. What I disliked was some of the author's word choices. They seemed off and broke up the flow of the story. In addition to that, the God and miracle parts at the end seemed almost preachy. I don't think that's what she meant, but it was frustrating. My biggest issues was the characters' decision to change their daughters name. She was already almost one year old and they took away her Chinese name to give her something different. I found it very inconsiderate and Western of them.
December 12, 2013
Don't get me wrong... Just because I listed this book on hold, does not mean it is not a good book. It is and I am anxious to continue reading it. Half way through and I really like it. A quick read, but not quick enough for me to be able to turn down a book from the library that I had a hold on. I will be back and finish this book - for certain!
Even setting it down to read another book in the middle of reading this book, did not affect my opinion of this book. Very easy to get caught up in the characters again and ended up loving it! It is not the typical mystery or historical novel that I normally enjoy, but a book on the emotional rollercoaster life sometimes brings you - through death, infertility, etc. A very well-written, powerful book. Well worth the read.
Even setting it down to read another book in the middle of reading this book, did not affect my opinion of this book. Very easy to get caught up in the characters again and ended up loving it! It is not the typical mystery or historical novel that I normally enjoy, but a book on the emotional rollercoaster life sometimes brings you - through death, infertility, etc. A very well-written, powerful book. Well worth the read.
August 10, 2014
The sensitivity with which Handford writes this story is amazing. The key character is complex and consumed with wanting a family but cannot get pregnant. While she has a wonderful marriage and a great sister whose daughter she cherishes, she feels that her life is incomplete and dismal without children of her own. Having lost her mother to ovarian cancer after her father abandoned the family, she is still grieving. Perhaps, she feels, this is her due. As the tale unfolds memories surface to help us understand Helen and the way that she views life. Is adoption an option or not? She says no. Her husband says yes. As the story moves to its end, she faces more crises and must meet them without the help of the sister who raised her when their mother died. I liked it very much.
September 11, 2012
I loved this book. It is the story of relationships between mothers and daughters, sisters, and fathers. It was a heart pulling story of infertility and the painful struggles of Helen who wants a child more than anything. It is also the story of the relationship between Helen and her sister Claire who lost their mother to ovarien cancer. Claire raises Helen after the mother's death. It also brings in the charater of Larry, their father, who left his daughters when their mother/his wife was dying. It was very sad in so many spots, but also very warm in other. I read this in two days. It totally sucked me in!
November 4, 2012
This was an enjoyable read. It follows the story of a young couple as they struggle with infertility, finally decide upon adoption, and create a family. And while it isn't the family that Helen initially envisioned for herself, it's the family that she was meant to have. Some parts of the book definitely touched me more than others, from a personal experience level. I did find some of the food descriptions to be a little too much at some points though, or maybe I'm just jealous that I can't just whip of scones that quickly myself. The book gets a little maudlin near the end but overall a good read.
October 8, 2013
Helen has a lot of pain in her background. Her Mom died young and her Dad left just when she and her sister needed him most. Claire, her sister, and she are very close and both want to have children. It’s easy for Claire but infertility plagues Helen. Helen has to decide, with her husband Tim’s encouragement, if adoption is right for them. The story turns from loss into the incredible story of adopting from China. (This part was personally very interesting for me as I have a niece adopted from China.) The baby brings great joy to the family but on the heels of her homecoming is more devastating loss. How Helen and her family deal with it is a beautiful story.
December 30, 2014
To be fair, I don't think i'm the demographic for this book. (And probably trying to explain the demographic that I think would enjoy it would get me lambasted) So, let's leave it at this: I couldn't get 1/3 through this book because I thought it was a little sappy without good reason, and overly assumptive that every woman feels "incomplete" without a baby/family. If you don't ascribe to this, it's kind of a pointless ride. I'm not claiming baby opinions either way (heck, I like 'em), but this was just too much, and right out the gate. I'm sure it appeals to some, but I am not that some.
June 17, 2015
When I was on chapter two of this book, I said to my husband "I think this one is going to wind up on my 'can't get into it' shelf". My personal rule is give a book 5 chapters and if I'm not into it, then I move on to the next book. Well I'm SO glad I stuck this one out because it wound up being a great read.
I didn't find the main character, Helen, to be likeable at all in the beginning, but my opinion quickly changed. I'm an only child but I have five, going on six kids of my own. Books that showcase relationships between siblings are a favorite of mine, and I think that was my favorite take away from this novel, the relationship between Helen and her sister Claire.
I didn't find the main character, Helen, to be likeable at all in the beginning, but my opinion quickly changed. I'm an only child but I have five, going on six kids of my own. Books that showcase relationships between siblings are a favorite of mine, and I think that was my favorite take away from this novel, the relationship between Helen and her sister Claire.
March 15, 2018
This was a sad story with a positive message, it was not depressing. The characters each handled death in different ways. It effects the rest of their lives. They learn and grow, so it isn't all sad. There are several other issues they deal with, such as an absentee father and infertility.
I enjoyed the book even though it dealt with such heavy subjects because the author handled them in such a realistic manner. She also balanced it with positive attitudes from some of the characters. Claire was a very strong woman - which I enjoy reading.
The ending was a little rushed for me and maybe a little too neat, but it was a good way to end it.
I enjoyed the book even though it dealt with such heavy subjects because the author handled them in such a realistic manner. She also balanced it with positive attitudes from some of the characters. Claire was a very strong woman - which I enjoy reading.
The ending was a little rushed for me and maybe a little too neat, but it was a good way to end it.
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