The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

by Darlene Schacht, Candace Cameron Bure (Foreword)

In The Good Wife's Guide author Darlene Schacht encourages women to joyfully serve their families. In doing so she offers reasons for achieving a well-managed home backed by scripture and gleaned from experience. As well she provides readers with detailed cleaning and organizing schedules for practical application.

The Good Wife's Guide encourages women to make faith and family their first priorities from a place of sacrificial love. It reminds women that they were created with a specific purpose in mind, which is that of being a help meet. In supporting our husbands and living in unity we reflect God's blueprint for marriage.

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage, Christian, Christian Non Fiction, Faith, Relationships, Self Help

162 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 13, 2012

About the author

Darlene Schacht is known by her readers as The Time-Warp Wife. She's an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of her life. She and her husband Michael live in Manitoba Canada. Married 26 years, they have four children, a bird and two pugs. She's an award winning and New York Times best-selling author.

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's the things with these sort of books: overall I like them, but then the authors make statements that make me wonder what kind of men they married.

This book is pretty good. She is a lot more practical than a lot of the authors who take on the whole Christian wife topic. So practical in fact that she offers cleaning schedules and tips on organization. I liked Schacht. I had only read her blog once or twice, so I went into this pretty blindly.

Then. THEN. She started talking about how if we don't meet our husbands with make up on and fresh clothes we are essentially giving them a reason to look for another woman. This is exactly where all of these women lose me. I think too highly of my husband to think he would leave me for not looking perfect.

Here's the thing: I don't doubt that my husband likes when I look nice when he gets home. However, reality is often different. I have a 27 month old and a 6 month old. There are days that I consider putting on a clean t-shirt an achievement. If being too busy taking care of kids to realize there is paint in my hair and my shirt is covered in heaven knows what is reason enough to cheat on me than I didn't marry the right kind of man.

{As I type this I am wearing old yoga pants, his t-shirt, and 2 day hair...I have a teething 6 month old who is boycotting sleep. It's acceptable attire.}

Again, she is mostly practical and non-preachy. It's worth looking beyond the whole "if you aren't perfect you are giving him a reason to cheat on you" part. I liked the sections on how keeping the home looking nice is a blessing to your family. She eloquently talks about how these things are a reflection of us.

Read it, but if you aren't in a season of your life where you can look put together with dinner on the table promptly at 6:00 don't fret. Most of us aren't either.

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found Darlene Schacht through Pinterest. Her home making blog has been super useful in getting organized. Through her blog she offered this book free. I found the book to be awfully fluffy and yet still falls into the trap of all complimentarian books. It uses veiled threats to convince women to take on traditional roles. She even feels called to state that submission is not permission for men to be abusive but can't see that her threats are what give permission. Stating things like try to be the woman he fell in love with during dating is exactly what gives men implicit permission to be terrible to their wives when things aren't so wonderful. There wasn't enough deep theology to even critique it. It wasn't all terrible, it is just the same old husband worship in the guise of biblical piety.

[Stacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I became interested in the book because the idea of the book came about because of an article the author came across titled "The Good Wife's Guide" supposedly published in 1955 by Housekeeping Monthly. I had seen that same article because my husband brought it home and thought I should read through it. Ha! Anyway, we had a good laugh over it. Then I saw this book and I was curious about what Schacht was going to say about the wife's role in the home and the Biblical piece to it as well.

We have all heard of the Proverbs 31 women and how it seems impossible to achieve at that level. Then in Ephesians 5:22-24, we are told, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” This is where a lot of women stop reading and get upset. I agree, those are some serious expectations for us, but if you go on reading, you will find that God asks husbands to give of themselves as Christ gave of himself to the Church. The husbands have a much larger responsibility for loving, caring, and sacrificing for us in the same way Christ did all that for the church. So, if my husband is going to love me like that, I will be happy to love him back by serving and caring for him.

Schacht goes into all this in more in her ebook. She does talk about how to keep your home and children presentable for your husband. She suggests removing the stress of the day and having a relaxed atmosphere for when your husband comes home from work. As much as this may sound absurd to some of you, I have found it to be very helpful. When supper is ready and kids are not running crazy around the house, we have such a lovely meal and conversation. Everyone is in a good mood. But, if I am stressed and lay it all on him as soon as he walks in the door and the kids are loud and running around, supper and the rest of the evening are guaranteed to be stressful. I am fortunate that I have a husband who is my "help meet" as well. If I am gone in the evening, he will do the dishes, help the kids with homework, etc. I don't have to worry about the list of things that I still need to do. If he sees it needs to be done, he does it. That is the kind of marriage I think everyone should have and what God expected for us. There are times when we need to give and when we need to take. God wants us to serve and care for our spouses as well as bring out the best in each other and this book reminded me of that.

Schacht closes out her book with chapters related to housekeeping. She offers schedules and tips for keeping your home in tip top shape. I appreciated her clear steps and ways to stay ahead of the mess.

Overall, I really liked this book. It helped me see my relationship with my husband in a new light and even though I am not putting all of her suggestions into practice, quite a few have worked for me.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Undiluted nostalgia. At one point, she actually has her husband pull over the car because she spots a 50's diner, and launches right into a rant about how we would all be happier if we just tried to be a little more old-fashioned.
Also, she has read bits of The Feminine Mystique, but only the intro. She jokes about how the author was too stupid to realize what the "problem that doesn't have a name" actually is, but then only a few pages later she almost quotes directly from Feminine Mystique when she describes "June Cleaver Syndrome."

[Katie Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read some of this author's blogs and was intrigued by this book. I would say you really CAN judge a book by its cover here. The author is extremely nostalgic and would love to be transported to the 1950s I think. Other than her mention of Facebook, you would never know it was published in 2012! HOWEVER, that is not always a bad thing. The truths about marriage from the Bible are timeless. Meeting your husband at the door with fresh make-up, ehhh, not so much. ;-)

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. Because I am a Christian, I agree with the author's position (and, more importantly, God's position) that women are to submit to their husbands. Beyond agreeing with the principles in this book, I appreciated the everyday examples of how wives can show honor and respect to their husbands and ultimately to God in the activities of our days and in the attitudes of our hearts.

I appreciated that the author addressed wives/mothers who work outside the home, as well. There are those who are in that situation, often not of their own choice. I was glad that in talking to all wives/mothers, she reminded us to keep our priorities in order with family ahead of career aspirations.

There were a couple of comments in the book that I had to overlook, simply because I felt that the example/instruction might not be the best one to use. For example, in discussing showing honor/respect to our husbands and the financial resources that they provide, we should be sure to turn down the thermostat at night. The author's point was that we should not be wasteful with the resources that are provided by God through our husbands. It is an excellent point, but changing the thermostat (at least in our home) is not indicative of anything other than a person's level of comfort with the current temperature (day or night). Perhaps a conversation about crafting a family budget and sticking to it would have been a more meaningful example?

Lastly, as a "domestically challenged" person, I liked the very practical lists/ideas about housecleaning schedules. In my own brain, I am an organized person, but these lists could help me to do a better job of organizing my cleaning schedule.

Overall, I found this book to be a quick and easy read that was encouraging and helpful.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part one was a good read, it was short & to the point. Clearly the author has a good understanding of the bible as the precepts of her book were very biblical, even when not pointing out specific bible verses. There were many times I could think of at least one bible verse to support her point, regardless of her sighting a reference or not. I liked how open and honest she was and not willing to sugar coat things that our society doesn't agree with, but is supported by the biblical model we are suppose to follow. I was a little skeptical ago reading this book because of some of the negative reviews I've read on it, but I really enjoyed it and found nothing to be contradictory to the Bible.

As for part two, I did not spend much time reading it. It was life application things, like giving lists of ways to organize your home. Or how to deep clean tour kitchen, bedroom & bathroom. While this information may be helpful to other readers, it isn't for me and did no more than skim through it. I did really appreciate the challenge to get rid of 25 items from your home and will be working on that the next few days.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

God has uniquely prepared me to be my husband's partner in life, his HELP MEET. And isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about, anyway?

Darlene has prepared for me a path to use as my guide in being the very best partner I can for my sweet Hubbers. She uses Biblical support to share with me (and YOU) why that particular idea is pertinent. She reminds me why, when I feel downtrodden, un-respected and unappreciated, that it's still okay. The Good Wife's Guide reminds me that my man still needs me to be that woman who worked to be attractive to him and to accept that he is as human as I, not flawless. She reminds me that I am modeling every. single. thing! I do for my children, four of them girls, so it better be worthwhile.

My full review is found here:

http://smcarney.blogspot.com/2012/03/...

[Gothmummi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, and it really inspired me in my role as a wife and mother. I am however slightly resentful at the term 'help meet' as I feel it undervalued 'mother' and 'wife'. however I love the advice and techniques, and although it is awful to see some of your own faults in print, it's good to see what you can do to change for the better!

[Tess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! Darlene offers great wisdom and advice to the newly married and those who have been lawfully wed for a while. I will pick this one up again and again as I need refreshers. Thanks for the great read!

[123bex · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually didn't hate this one. It was more modern and realistic, and the second half did actually have some good housekeeping tips, if you are interested in housewifery in general.

I still think biblical patriarchy is rotten, but it was interesting to see a modern woman's perspective on it.

[Sanz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made me want to be more organized and to enjoy my role as a wife and mother. One quotation: "Are you a stay at home mom to support your on-line friends or for your children?"

She even includes 53 steps to cleaning a bathroom. 53 steps people! :)

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amen! This book was like reading a diary of my thoughts. Although I do believe in eternal marriage, that was the only difference. Really refreshing to know so many others out there feel this way about their divine roles.

[Maka Neese · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good

Very good

I've been wanting to become a better wife with house hold chores. Also becoming a better Christian role model for my family. This book really helps with that and gives good bible verses.

[Margaret Friesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far love it! She totally has everything backed with scripture that she writes about and It's a really great book for any wife or mother

[April · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable read. She's an interesting woman. I have no negative criticisms. If you find her book offensive, you've listened to the femi-nazi rhetoric too long, whether you're religious or not!

[Liz Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overall, this was a good book. Delightful to read, contains helpful tips on housekeeping and scheduling...

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been life changing for me. Not only has it helped guide me towards God’s plan for women as help meets for our husbands, it has given me such a good foundation for order and cleanliness in our home. The schedule for daily housekeeping is amazing! I truly enjoyed every bit of this book.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I don’t really like the title or cover of this book. Aside from that, the content of this book is good. Nothing was really new or noteworthy - it’s content that is repeated in other books or resources I’d recommend instead.

Not a bad book, but also not one I’d recommend. Other authors have said these things in a better or more helpful way.

[Zane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like how I was reminded and/or explained my role as a wife. I found it to be a bit too specific & detailed when it comes to instructions and steps.

[Bethany Stiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book I love it

Love this book. It was great. A great read with lots of inspiration. I love how they helped you establish a routine at the end

[Mendy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pretty terrible.

[Anna Katherina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do believe, first and foremost, that it is important to recognize that this book is written from the point of one woman who (like myself) is embroiled in the romanticized ideology surrounding the vintage 1950's housewife. This sort of traditionalism includes elements that I have come to discover are not found in other forms of Traditionalism, and which seem to be exclusive to those traditionalists who are also focused on vintage aesthetics and romanticims- particularly of the 1940's to 1960's.

That traditionalist mentality may make others uncomfortable or upset due to the emphasis on traditional femininity and subservience, plus domestic perfection (even though the author clearly states she does not believe in domestic perfection and similar ideology). If these ideologies make you upset or uncomfortable, or you find them downright insulting or laughable, then this book is ultimately not (and never will be) for you.

Now, on to the real meat of the review.

As a Pagan woman it often distresses me that the bulk of Traditionalist material is written from a biblical and Christian standpoint. It is hard- if not entirely impossible- to find material that is from a non denominational perspective and which talks about Traditionalism from a perspective other than a biblical one. This book is- unsurprisingly- no different; it is overly heavy on the Christian tones and is very biblically and Christian oriented- something which is written so thoroughly into the book that it is impossible to skip, gloss over, or separate from the material in any way.

It also often distresses me that there seems to be a war between the "modern feminist" and "traditionalist", with traditionalist materials often taking derogatory stabs at the modern woman who finds empowerment outside the home (and vice versa with the modern feminist belittling and shaming the traditionalist). This book, however, has been a breath of fresh air on this front at the very least. While the author makes clear her own beliefs and airs her own greivances with certain modern mentalities (and accusations leveled at her, as most traditionalists face) she also writes with a non-judgemental attitude not only towards Housewifes, but also towards working wives and non-traditionalist women; she makes a note to regularly include "if you do"s, making it clear that she acknowledges that some women don't- though she does sometimes fail in this. I found these areas easy to overlook, however.

Still, even with the heavy Christian and traditionalist emphasis, and having to wade through it for miles to find the practical... I found the book mirrored many of my own ideals surrounding Traditionalism and being a Housewife. Even with the biblical orientation, it was filled with solid advice that benefits anyone who is looking to improve their household and marriage- whether a Traditionalist or not, working or stay at home, and so on. The second section in the book (which acts as a domestic manual) was particularly helpful and I will definitely be adopting many of the suggestions for my own home.

[Jeri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome Book.

[Daline Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Read messy faces in divine place, it will help you relate to your life.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!!

[Amy Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Should be given to all newly married couples.

[Sharda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for women. Enjoyed it.