My Next Husband Will Be Normal

by Rae Ellen Lee

In My Next Husband Will Be Normal, Lee and her husband ditch their sailboat and fly to the U.S. Virgin Islands with a down payment for a mom and pop business on St. John. The when they aren’t sewing canvas bags at their little shop, The Canvas Factory, they’ll be beach potatoes. But there are risks to living in paradise one cannot anticipate, especially on an island where residents bask in the You can do anything you want, as long as the rest of us know about it. For soon after unpacking their flip-flops, the husband—a former Republican state legislator with a silver crew-cut and solid traditional values—realizes he is really a she. Convinced the world needs more humor, Lee rations the angst in favor of the picturesque and absurd. Adding heat to the story is a cast of colorful cats, customers, and Caribbean personalities. Toss in a few sex toys, some steel pan music, a pinch of voodoo—and stir.

Genres: Nonfiction

298 pages, Paperback

First published January 24, 2012

About the author

Rae Ellen Lee grew up on a stump ranch in northern Idaho. She worked for the U.S. State Dept. in Washington, D.C., Switzerland, and (then) Yugoslavia before attending the Univ. of Idaho, where she earned a degree in Landscape Architecture. Employment with the U.S. Forest Service in Idaho and Montana followed, until 1997, when she resigned and moved to a sailboat, The Shoe, with new husband, Tom. She wrote about that experience, in I ONLY CUSS WHEN I'M SAILING, first published in 2001 as If The Shoe Fits by Sheridan House).

Her first novel, THE BLUEBIRD HOUSE, first published by Five Star in 2002, is a paranormal, historical, romance-adventure romp with a mystery and some mountain man recipes, set in and around that old Montana mining camp brothel she lived in and renovated. This book was a readers’ choice selection of Salt Lake Public Library patrons.

Her second memoir, published in 2012, is set on St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands. In MY NEXT HUSBAND WILL BE NORMAL – A St. John Adventure (indie published in early 2012), Rae Ellen shares the funny side of events when, soon after unpacking their flip-flops, Tom realizes he is really a she. Told with a generous heart and a tragicomic style, you’ll find added heat from a cast of colorful cats, customers, and Caribbean personalities. Toss in a few sex toys, some steel pan music, a pinch of voodoo. . . and stir.

She has also published POWDER MONKEY TALES - A Portrait in Stories, by Wesley Moore alias Post Hole Augerson, a geezer of some renown in northern Idaho. A farm boy from Illinois who headed west in 1941, Wes became a woods worker and powder monkey, which means he used dynamite to help build roads for the logging industry in the 1940s and 1950s. This booklet captures the history and humor of her father, as told to her. One story was performed in the Idaho Centennial Play, IDAHO TALES, TALL AND TRUE, in 1989.

Rae Ellen is currently writing a novel set in 1999 about the lives of a few good women working in a north woods sawmill A geezer enthusiast, she is also working on a guidebook to geezer species.

Rae Ellen now lives and writes in Bellingham, WA, in the company of her porch doodle, Sudsie, and as often as possible, she hikes, bikes, and sketches with her Montana granddaughter, Madison.

Reviews

[C.J. Prince · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you dream of escaping to a Caribbean paradise? Rae Ellen Lee and her husband Tom do just that, open their own shop and cope with paradise living: bugs, impossible roads, inadequate transportation, high rent and did I mention: bugs! Rivers of termites and endless cockroaches. I kept wondering when Rae Ellen would escape from paradise!

"My Next Husband Will Be Normal." Yes, my subtitle for this memoir would be "Escape from Paradise." And there are entirely too many bugs in it despite the descriptions of incredible beauty. Yeah, I am rather bug intolerant despite being a Master Gardener in two states. (They are actually more interesting under a microscope.)

But I digress. Rae Ellen Lee has such a pioneer spirit to endure so much. Strung together with humor, she shares an intimate look at the unraveling of a traditional marriage. Tom begins with occasional cross dressing, followed by a shift in style (he was a conservative Republican legislator before the move to St. John.) Pink shorts, a weekly manicure and pedicure and an increasing interesting in researching transgender web sites, are Tom's unfolding into his second self, repressed until the Carribbean winds blow in with the promise of inner freedom.

Rae Ellen Lee grabs her best tool: humor and proceeds to drape herself in denial, false hope and frequent trips to the chiropractor as her life begins to dissemble. She tries affirmations and a series of self help approaches but Tom walks directly toward his future self with a magnetic pull. While her love shifts, she continues to live with and try to understand that Tom is no longer the man she married. She hopes it isn't true but the truth keeps resurfacing.

Without revealing the conclusions to this compelling story, I will say that Rae Ellen Lee wants to retain one thing, her friendship with the man she loved. It seems impossible. Read this unique book to understand what happens.

[Mary Perkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to wait for my social security check so I could afford to download Rae Ellen Lee's latest...'My Next Husband Will Be Normal.' Among Rae Ellen fans this was a highly anticipated outing and I was not disappointed!

While masquerading as a typical memoir of a difficult time in Rae Ellen's life, this book actually a travelogue that works on three levels:

First is the surface level...a wonderful look at St. John, Virgin Islands. I felt I got a good view of life on St. John, the weather, the geography, the culture. I met some interesting people through Rae Ellen's eyes; got a good glimpse of the weather and even gained some understanding of how canvas bags are made (really interesting!). Also gleaned new insights into Rae Ellen's fashion choices (colorful!). Based on this book, I think I might like St. John...just not in hurricane season.

The second level, however, is a tour through the mind of a smart woman traveling through some interesting territory of the mind. As her life is falling apart we get a good view of that back and forth thinking that we all do...'It's awful; it's going to be okay; it's awful.' Following Rae Ellen's journey as she experiences the ups and downs of not only island living but the changes her relationship with husband Tom is going through will seem familiar to anyone who has, in middle age, really begun to question their life. Rae Ellen delves deeply into 'Is that all there is?' and comes up with no real answers...for herself or for us. Her quest for answers leads her to try a variety of methods both professional and not...acupuncture, counseling...drinking...not to mention a listing of self help books that would add that nice Dr. Phil charm to anyone's library.

Level three is Rae Ellen's view of her husband, Tom's, journey into the trans-gender world. Starting with a pair of manties, moving on to negligee's and mani-pedis...Rae Ellen watches Tom transform himself from that former conservative Republican legislator to Rebekah Jane, liberal queen of the island. Her description of his journey is poignant and tinged with a bit of anger...this was not what she signed up for...and yet her love for him allows her to support his journey.

What you'll get from reading 'My Next Husband Will Be Normal' will be a look at a woman who may be very much like yourself, dealing with some stresses and strains that push her into questioning her life and searching for meaning. Much like we all do...she is just honest about her journey!

Finally, what you really need to know about this book is...IT'S REALLY FUNNY! Get it...Read it! Love it!

[Bobbie C Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As we sometimes do, together my spouse and I read Rae Ellen Lee's book, "My Next Husband Will Be Normal." By reading it together, I mean I reads aloud as Alana sit quietly and listenws - I would occasionally snicker, grunt, or even laugh out loud.

We felt like we'd found Rae Ellen's Diary and could get caught any minute reading her `secrets.' The tropical island she describes sounds beautiful -- made me want to go there - until she describes some of the living conditions she and her husband encountered. Guess the statement, "nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there," can be true.

My spouse, Alana, is also a transgender individual - so I especially like the dropping of little clues along the way as to what is going on with Tom, Rae Ellen's husband. When Tom would express a feeling Alana would sometimes say, "I know that feeling." Then I would read something Rae Ellen had to say about a situation she found herself in and it would be my turn to stop reading long enough to look up and say, "I definitely relate to that."

Unlike Tom, now Rebekah Jane, Alana still lives life 'Hung in the Middle' of being a male and a female -- a place in life I hope Alana is able to get beyond soon.

Thank you, Rae Ellen, for sharing your journey with us. You gave us food for thought, you gave us laughter, you gave us the opportunity to spend time together -- and you gave us the idea to buy more rum.

[Alana Sholar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think Rae Ellen Lee has my attention...As she tells her story I feel like I am watching a movie because I can see it all so clearly. The minor of details are described to the point I can see it and that's what makes a book a good read for me. If I am reading a title and I can form any pictures in my head then it hasn't gotten my full attention. This has as I said "GOT" my attention.

[Jackie]

I look forward to reading this book as it has been 6 years since I have lived in St. John and will be nice to read and stir up some memories.

[Kirsten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Came back from my first visit to St John and immediately purchased this book. I loved all the references to spots on the island! Sad that so many are no longer there. The author has a great sense of humor and had me laughing out loud. If you’ve ever thought you wanted to move to the islands, you must read her truthful perspective… I don’t think I’d last more than a month, haha.

[Whistler's Mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paradise Lost.

Wouldn't every middle aged woman love to meet a tall, handsome, intelligent, eligible man? Wouldn't everyone love to quit the job and become self-employed? Wouldn't everyone love to go back to the island paradise of fond vacation memories and live there forever?

Reality bites. In the author's case, "self-employed" meant "husband-employed." It also meant long days bent over a sewing machine trying to create enough canvas bags to sell for enough income to keep the wolf from the door. And the door was on a shed with no plumbing. And there were six of those long days every week.

But wait! She's still got the tall, handsome, intelligent man, right? Not really. In the islands anything goes and this father of six and former Republican state senator took advantage of the relaxed atmosphere to make some serious changes. A flippy blonde "do," colorful silky clothes, waxed body hair, girly sandals, and (in the words of his bewildered wife) "he's one pearl necklace away from being June Cleaver."

With the grace and courage of a true philosopher and a gutsy broad, the author writes about this sad, bizarre situation with humor and kindness. Paradise is something we only see from a distance and she lost a husband, but kept a friend. And who knows, maybe her next husband WILL be normal.

I liked her book I ONLY CUSS WHEN I'M SAILING, but this one is my favorite.

[Wilhelmina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the sequel to "I only cuss when I am Sailing".....and the story starts on the Island of St. John, and no, they did not sail there. That seems to have been another "failed" venture of Tom and Rae Ellen. Somehow they manage to buy a business on this little island, and spend their days churning out canvas products. The focus of the story is the gradual change in Tom, who decides that he is actually a woman, and the process of Rae Ellen's journey through this, her eventual divorce and return to the US.
I think this book is much better written then "I only Cuss", as I got tired of all the troubles with the boat in that book. Once again there are gaps in the memoir between the end of "I only Cuss" and the start of this book. However, they did manage to sell the boat at some point, they always seemed to be low on funds, but appeared to have a rather successful business, even though they once again jumped into another adventure without really thinking it through.
I hope Rae Ellen has learned her lessons well in life, as she appears to understand why she has arrived at this point in her life.
Now I am reading "The Blue Bird House".........

[Pamela Beason · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a generous book. I say "generous" because the author gives us her honest views of her world on St. John. Her wonderful descriptions make it so easy to imagine meeting all the interesting locals and tourists, as well as experiencing the difficulties of getting around the island, dealing with the weather and occasional lack of water and electricity, finding a reasonable place to live, and making a living. Add the unusual development of living with a formerly manly spouse who is transforming into a woman, and spending time in Lee's environment is definitely like a trip to a foreign world. But in spite of all the problems described, Lee manages to gracefully show that love comes in many forms that often make gender irrelevant. I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to read a fascinating pleasant story. - Author of The Only Witness

[Mary Lu · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I never get to St. John's I won't have to feel bad, for I've visited there vicariously. The author introduced me to the locals, an intriguing lot of characters, sometimes goofy and offbeat,always interesting. The scenery is pretty amazing, too, providing a lovely change from the cold of the Great Lakes region. Then there's the personal challenge, a lesson in humility and how to meet adversity with humor, patience, and a willingness to accept life as it comes, make it work for you.

I'm glad I read this book. I'd have missed a lot had I not. If you don't think you'll get to see the Pacific Islands, bask in south sea breezes, pick up the book and read it, and dream. Even if you do go, read the book anyway. You'll have the inside scoop on where to visit and who to see. And, you will discover another human being who knows something about courage and determination.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was about the main characters journey into big life changes. What attracted me is that the story took place on St. John, USVI. St. John is one of 3 islands that are part of the United States. To get there you have to fly to St. Thomas, ride in a taxi to the east end of the island and catch the ferry to St. John. I think St. John is unique because 75% of the island is a US National Park. Therefore it is not as commercialized as other tropical destinations.
The journey that the main character was on, was bumpy, but all in all she worked through some big personal issues and came out on the other side as a happier woman. The bumps in the road had me wondering about how much I liked this book, but the ending really sealed it for me.
If you have ever spent time on St. John then I would highly recommend this book.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quirky but enjoyable. Loved the setting of St.John.