The other day, a friend of mine mentioned overhearing two co-workers gripe about another woman (surprisingly, not my friend) who sat with a “sour look” on her face the entire time they were at a team lunch — and this is what I don’t get: there are a surprising number of office drones out there who act like we’re at work to make friends and have a good time…and these aren’t even people who do meaningful, important work all day. (I mean, sure, some of us are delusional enough to believe that we do, but unless you’re working in healthcare or emergency services or in the developing world to end poverty/hunger/war/refugees/modern day slavery then chances are…your little cubicle job ultimately doesn’t equate to much of anything.)
At the risk of sounding like a total curmudgeon (or maybe I’m past this point), I have zero interest in having drinks with people after work because the nano second the company stops paying me for the day, I’m outta there.
Corinne Maier, who wrote “Hello Laziness,” describes having the nerve to voice this fact:
“Once, in the middle of a meeting on motivation, I dared to say that the only reason I came to work was to earn my crust; fifteen seconds of total silence followed, and everyone looked embarrassed. ‘Work’ derives from an instrument of torture — in French (travail), at any rate — but it’s still de rigueur to declare that you work because you are interested in your job. If you were being racked for hours on end by a merciless torturer, you wouldn’t say anything different.” (p.30)
See…there’s a reason why the Financial Times claimed that, if you read this book, you’ll automatically exclaim, “Oh my God, I work at the same company!”
I’m not going to get into a lengthy bitch-fest about work here because…well, it’d be incredibly stupid to do so.
Instead, I offer up some gems from Maier’s book and leave with the recommendation to pick up a copy:
“…it’s just not nice to be so unhelpful, to leave work as soon as the day’s task is done, not to go to the Christmas party, not to contribute to Mrs. Whatsit’s retirement present…to bring a packed lunch when everyone else eats at the canteen…People who behave like this are the pariahs of the office, because a level of sociability is demanded — lunchtime drinks, in-jokes, hypocritical kisses on the cheeks. You have to pretend to go along with it all, on pain of exclusion.” (p.11)
“‘Business culture’ is an oxymoron, a figure of speech that puts together two contradictory words…it creates an artificial sense of identity and belonging…This mini-patriotism is a dense mass of stale-smelling habits, aptitudes and oddities of dress and behavior, which verge on caricature. Rewritten by the management, it becomes official history, with its own heroes and festivals to motivate the worker and encourage identification with the company, unified and indivisible. It manifests itself in an orgy of pointless seminars, unwearable T-shirts, badges (yes, they still exist) and so-called motivational slogans.” (p.55)