3.5 stars
Dirk Hayhurst is a good minor league pitcher with loads of self-doubt. He's been struggling in the Padres system for years with little hope of ever being promoted. He does not have much money. He has a crazy family that he does not enjoy spending much time with, but he has no choice in the off season, because he has nowhere else to live due to financial difficulties. Not uncommon for a minor league ball player.
He meets his future wife Bonnie on eHarmony, who is described as the ultimate saint in Dirk’s story. He would say that she made him feel capable and creative. Dirk's fortunes start to change with Bonnie's support. He's promoted to the AAA Portland Beavers and playing well but at the same time he's pressured by Bonnie to get a ring to make their engagement official.
Dirk is rewarded for his performance in AAA and becomes a San Diego Padre. He is introduced to the glitz and glamor of the Major Leagues. Dirk’s honest reflection of himself leads the reader to root for him, both on the field and off, yet he comes off as affable, self-deprecating, and painfully insecure in his abilities. He never goes too deep into anything, but one has to wonder if he had more confidence in his abilities, would he have had a longer stay in the major leagues.
Dirk tells some stories in the minor leagues that comes across as PG frat boys hanging out together. I kind of got the sense that Dirk held back on some of his stories. The two most interesting parts of the book were Dirk talking about his family and of coarse being in the major leagues.
His family is a mess and they never seemed to be on his side. His grandma calls Bonnie a whore the first time they meet. His dad tells him that he is making a big mistake when Dirk tells him that he and Bonnie are getting married. His mom? There is some serious passive aggressive stuff going on between Dirk and his mom. I'm not always 100% sure which one is in the wrong. He seems to take everything she says in the worst possible way, and she seems oblivious to how hurtful some of the things she says are.
Perhaps the funniest bit in the book is the conversation he and his mom have when she phones him, waking him up, to say how proud she was to have seen him on ESPN SportsCenter's highlights. The highlight? He gave up a big home run to Manny Ramirez. She claims not to understand why he's not thrilled to be on national TV. It is just hilarious, a proud mom, excited that she saw her son on TV, and a son that wishes he could just curl up and die.
To me the rags to riches lifestyle of going from a minor leaguer to a major leaguer is the most fascinating. Dirk described being a minor leaguer as being broke, sharing an apartment with a bunch of guys, little food in the house, taking buses everywhere, being sleep deprived, tolerating some jerks, and not knowing what your future is. A side from some hazing, Dirk described being in the major leagues as a dream come true. Dirk’s own insecurities make him doubt is he worthy of it. Staying in luxury hotels, eating like a king, flying in private planes, playing in the cathedral like MLB ballparks, and being around other major league ball players including Hall of Famer, Trevor Hoffman. Dirk mentioned he was now making over $400,000 a year which he said was $1,800 a game which is more than he made in a month in the minor leagues.
Dirk eloquently described his feelings of pitching and batting for the very first time in the majors. The nervous excitement that he described sounded overwhelming. Dirk sounded haunted by the fact that he can be sent back down to the minors at any time and that he is not worthy of being a major league player. Also, the loneliness of being a rookie, not knowing anyone well, compounded by being hazed by the veteran players sounded tough, and not getting much love from his pitching coach. I can see why a lot of these guys get married so young. It must be soothing to get some unconditional love from somebody.
I looked up Dirk’s stats on Baseball Reference. His stats in 2008 with the Padres were not good. He had a 0-2 record with 9.72 ERA in 10 games, pitching 16 innings. In 2009 he pitched much better for the Toronto Blue Jays and had a 2.78 ERA in 15 games. That was his last season in the major leagues. Dirk never explained what happened. I would think if you post an ERA under 3.00, that should keep you in the big leagues. Overall this was a compelling read, but I think it could have had been better if he would have finished the story on how his MLB career ended in Toronto.