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304 pages, Hardcover
First published August 21, 2012
Max sighs contentedly as she makes her way to Union Square, her tasks for the night completed. She relishes the feeling of being worn out by a full day of work, looks forward to getting into bed and waking up fresh tomorrow to tackle this new challenge of getting Bridget over the boy-next-door. Which is way worse than boy-from-camp, boy-in-school-play, or even boy-in-homeroom. She’s learned that there’s bound to be a strategy, she just has to think long and hard and shake down what the world has to offer.
“This is your schedule,” Max says forcefully. “Up! Out of bed! And directly downstairs to the kitchen for a sugar-free caffeine beverage—”
“Sugar free?” Bridget asks through a mouthful of egg.
“No Coke. No Red Bull. No Frappuccinos. We can’t risk you getting artificially hyped and doing something ill advised.”[…] Little known fact: dehydration and depression go hand in hand.” She flashes a rapid succession of slides. “Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Courtney Love. Crazy? Maybe. Depressed? Probably. Dehydrated? Definitely. It’s astounding how the lack of electrolytes can suck a girl’s mojo. In conclusion, every morning, without fail. Caffeine. Protein. Shower. Real clothes. Water. CPSRW. I’m tacking it to the ceiling over your bed.”
Guys are so confusing! She looks over at the pile of bananas. It’s so clear which fruit are good and which ones are rotten. You can see it before you make your investment. Why can’t boys be more like bananas? Why do you have to put your heart out there before you find out you picked a bad one?