This was given to my sibling by a homeless lady, who then passed it on to me. After reading said book, my mind was unfortunately not expanded, largely due to the fact that it so strongly resembles another favorite novelist of mine, L. Ron Hubbard. The epilogue was glued in the back as a pamphlet, which really added to the aesthetic. If you're in for a ride, I highly recommend based solely on these quotes:
"Sometime in my early sex life, I had contracted a venereal disease which manifested a small amount of pus for a few days, along with painful urination."
"For example, I used to have herpes and now I don't."
"Inside the gate there is a footpath, and the footpath must be winding. At the turning of the footpath there is an outdoor screen, and the screen must be small. Behind the screen, there is a terrace, and the terrace must be level. On the banks of the terrace there are flowers, and the flowers must be fresh. Beyond the flowers is a wall, and the wall must be low. By the side of the wall there is a pine tree, and the pine tree must be old. At the foot of the pine tree there are rocks, and the rocks must be quaint. Over the rocks there is a pavilion, and the pavilion must be simple. Behind the pavilion are bamboos, and the bamboos must be thin and sparse. At the end of the bamboos there is a house, and the house must be secluded. By the side of the house there is a road, and the road must branch off. At the point where the several roads come together there is a bridge, and the bridge must be tantalizing to cross. At the end of the bridge there are trees, and the trees must be tall. In the shade of the trees there is grass, and the grass must be green. Above the grass plot there is a ditch, and the ditch must be slender. At the top of the ditch there is a spring, and the spring must gurgle. Above the spring there is a hill, and the hill must be deep. Below the hill there is a hall, and the hall must be square. At the corner of the hall there is a vegetable garden, and the vegetable garden must be big. In the vegetable garden there is a stork, and the stork must dance. The stork announces that there is a guest, and the guest must not be vulgar. When the guest arrives, there is wine, and wine must not be declined. During the service of the wine, there is drunkenness, and the drunken guest must not want to go home.”
That last one is technically a quote from Lin Yutang, but yes, it's in there. More than once. At least once it's the whole quote. Just like, in the middle of a wacky road trip.
"What a beautiful place to throw up."
"'How can this be?' I moaned in my most plaintive voice, sounding somewhat high and lonely, like a nineteenth-century cowboy somewhere off in the desert who has just seen a space shuttle."
There are so many more but you'll have to read the book to find them. I'm honestly torn between giving this 1 and 5 stars. So have 2.