Torn

by Amber Lehman

It was different this time; we weren't acting on a dare. I knew our motive; we were practicing the act, hoping to impress the right boy when it came time. But then something happened—in the mix of the moment, in the mix of the alcohol. It wasn't planned, but somehow our kissing experiment turned into something else. Things went further . . . and once they had, once I returned to earth from the euphoria . . . I wrestled with my feelings at that frank realization, questioning whether our said objective was entirely true.

When fourteen-year old Krista McKinley transfers from Catholic school in Ohio to California's public Crestmount High, she discovers she has a lot to learn. Luckily, she is befriended by Carrie and Brandon and things start to look up. But when a simple dare tests Krista's values, it sends her entire world spiraling into a confusing series of events that leaves her questioning her identity as well as the people around her.

With unshakeable frankness, Amber Lehman paints a memorable portrait of what it's like to be a questioning youth in today's world.

Genres: LGBT, Young Adult, Fiction, Queer, Bisexual, Coming Of Age, Romance

373 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 15, 2009

About the author

Hi! I'm from southern California and have lived here all my life. I have been reading and writing stories since I can remember. I loved book projects at school and this inspired me to continue making them at home. My early stories were fun and fanciful and full of fairies. As I grew older, more serious subjects began to steal my interest. TORN reflects the time period between high school and my early twenties. TORN is a Young Adult novel written for older teens (17+) and deals with high school students who are coping with issues of sexual orientation and finding themselves. I am currently working on a sequel to TORN.

WINNER - 2010 Next Generation Indie Book Awards GLBT category

2010 Lambda Literary Finalist/Bisexual Fiction

2010 USA Book News Finalist- Gay & Lesbian Fiction

(TORN - 5 star rating by the Midwest Book Review)

FIND ME:

http://twitter.com/amberlehman73
facebook.com/amberlehman73.
www.facebook.com/TORN.AmberLehman
http://amberlehman73.wordpress.com/
http://www.authorsden.com/amberlehman

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a terrible, terrible, trashy book. It should have been titled "Mary Sue and Gary Stu Question Their Sexuality", because that is what it boiled down to.

I saw this on a list of the best GLBTQI YA books, and I don't know why. Yes, several characters in the book are gay/bi/questioning, but with the way the book ends, it seems to send the message that being queer is just a trendy phase to tide you over until you find your ONE TRUE HETERO LOVE.

And don't get me started on the characters. As mentioned above, Krista and Brandon come off as Mary Sue and Gary Stu respectively- especially Brandon, who has a horrible past of abuse, but is: brilliant, beautiful, rich, and talented at everything. Ever. It's like reading terrible fanfiction.

In fact, most of the characters in the book are either woefully underdeveloped, or bad fanfic-esque paragons of perfectness (with just a little bit of parental angst to make them interesting).

I also found all the partying kind of ridiculous and over the top. This is basically the Hollywood fantasy of what high school kids are like, only in novel format.

In short, I was appalled.

[Billy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being gay myself, I was interested in reading this book even though the storyline revolved around a 14 year old girl. I had read many reviews. Most that had mentioned her friend Brandon as being the most dynamic character. I would have to say that this is true. I was moved by and cared deeply about what happened to Brandon throughout the book. Although it is true that the love interest is between the two girls—Krista and Carrie—there was also a relationship between Brandon and Nick. Brandon is beautiful, sexually experienced at 16, and is extremely wealthy and popular at his school. While he is ‘out’ to many of his closest friends, not everyone at his school knows and so he tries to keep up a front with the girls for the sake of his professional surfing reputation. This has to be extremely difficult and trying to do. He is also a bit cocky and extremely intelligent. He was unlike any cliché I had ever read about. I can see how his emotions— and even perhaps his shift in feelings— veered toward Krista after their night together. But I would be lying if I didn’t say I would’ve preferred him to staying with Nick. But at least his decision is well explained.

[Robin · Rating 1 out of 5]

o stars. I detest this book.

This is worse than garbage, worse than shit, at least those items are useful to some degree.

When I first bought this book, I was intrigued by the description, which reads as follows: It was different this time; we weren't acting on a dare. I knew our motive; we were practicing the act, hoping to impress the right boy when it came time. But then something happened - in the mix of the moment, in the mix of the alcohol. It wasn't planned, but somehow the kissing experiment turned into something else. THings went further... ad once they had, once I returned to earth from the euphoria . . . I wrestled with my feelings at the frank realization, questioning whether our said objective was entirely true.

You would think main plot of this book would be about questioning one's sexual identity. WRONG!! This book had very little to do with that. Most of the book concentrated on rich spoiled orange county white kids, with nothing better to do in life than shopping at malls buying the latest trendy fashions at stores called "teen hotties". The children in this book are more concerned about dressing like sluts more than anything.

The book has no plot and, no structure, and very little character development. One character gets drugged and date raped and the next chapter the whole thing is forgotten. the questioning relationship between the girls only appears in the first 50 or so pages. Oh yes, and the girl finally realizes she's not gay only when she decides to sleep with a boy and discovers that she likes having sex with boys. What the hell!?! So if you want to find out if you're gay, sleep with the opposite sex, problem solved.

The main character, who is 14, develops a crush on a 28 year old man!! She throws herself at him and not once does the author ever recognize that relationship is borderline perverted, but yet there is still a development of their relatioship!! HELLO, this type of relationship in California is called STATUTORY RAPE!!

Torn is flawed in soooo many ways. I can't began to write all my concerns into this review.

[Julia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am glad I got this as an ARC from the author. I appreciate that, I do. But I won't give a positive review to a book that doesn't deserve it.

“[Brandon] shook his head and turned away, shifting his weight as he violently raked his hands through his hair. He looked like an agitated animal pacing its cage. He took an audible breath and faced her again. ‘Look. We weren’t trying to hurt you. We’re all friends here. Let’s not turn this into an episode of Dynasty, okay? Nobody is trying to hide anything from you, Carrie. Seriously.’” (p. 242)

I’m not sure why I finished this book instead of putting it aside to read a book I’d like. I wonder if part of why I liked it so little is that I’m annoyed to have spent so much time on it? Or am I pissed off that a book about a bi girl and gay boy has them getting together in the last pages? This is YA where the characters are like leaden figures meant to represent types, rather than fleshed out characters. In my experience, the extreme wealth and consumerism is distasteful, imaginary and implausible. The lack of parental figures, psychologists and police in spite of molestation, incest, drug and alchol abuse, rape and statutory rape strains credulity.

Fourteen year old Krista moves from Catholic school in Ohio to Orange County, CA. Her best boy friend is gay Brandon, who sleeps with Krista. This upsets her girlfriend Carrie, his boyfriend Nick and the boy who wants to be Krista’s boyfriend Ryan, who is also Brandon’s best friend. I didn’t mention Krista’s friend Aeliese’s much older brother Daemon who is religious, doesn’t date and is celibate, with whom Krista is obsessed. I think this novel may have been more fun as a flow chart.

[Jen Knox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn is a quick read, but it's not an easy read. I found the subject-matter compelling, and more so given that Amber Lehman doesn't hold back details or sugar-coat her characters' experiences.

In a note from the author, Lehman says "I have never ceased to be amazed at the gentle intimacy that we humans can have for each other, and on the contrary, have never ceased to be shocked at the tendency for brutal inhumanity."

This short reflection is truly sums up the over-arching theme of the story that follows. Torn is centered on Krista, a fourteen-year-old girl who just moved to California from the Midwest and her struggles to find a sense of identity and value in her new community. Our protagonist does what teenagers--like it or not--do: she experiments. She embarks on a familiar but nuanced story of sexual awakening as she faces an abundance of temptation, while trying to figure out her personal sense of what is right and wrong as well as a clear definition of her sense-of-self.

Lehman recounts very realistic scenes with vivid intimacy and candor, scenes that are not uncommon to those "coming-of-age" years and should not be ignored for the courtesy of fragile ears. I recommend this book highly. It is a well-written story with the edge of real life.

[Amber Lehman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should you pick up this book? Is TORN the right novel for you? Ultimately you will have to decide, but I can tell you a few things about it that may help you in your decision.

What it's not:
- high literature. This is not a literary novel. It is commercial fiction. And it is a teen drama at that.
-for the sqeemish. If you are easily offended by drugs, sex, cursing and other unmentioned unfortunate real life circumstances this is not the book for you.

What it is:
-focuses on a group of affluent teens from orange county, CA...their lives, friendships, struggles
-a GLBT novel. Characters explore sexuality: gay, straight, bisexual, and lesbian
-for older teens. This may be debatable since maturity in teens can very widely, but it was my intention that this book be for older teens due to the mature content.

If you are still undecided and have any questions about the novel, please feel free to message me with your questions. I am more than happy to answer whatever may be on your mind. And happy reading whatever you chose to pick up! :)

Amber Lehman

[Philip Nork · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a little taken aback when I opened the box which contained “Torn.” The first thing I saw was a sticker saying “Winner, Next Generation Indie Book Awards” and then I saw that the book was over 400 pages long. I figured I was in for some long dull reading…but was I wrong.
From the time I read “A Note from the Author” and saw the words “If I had been successful in this task, I have created a place in which hearing these stories is as intimate and personal, as confusing and saddening, as the moments when these stories were first shared with me.” I was hooked. And author Amber Lehman didn’t fail.
Krista is fourteen and new to Southern California, having moved from Ohio…a completely different world. From the time she stepped out of Our Holy Sisters private school and into Crestmount, her new public school in California things were extremely complicated for her…from the clothes she would have to wear to the fact that boys now were on campus. Not to mention, here she was a fourteen year old trying to find her place in the world without the constant supervision of a mom. Krista was being watched by her older brother while she was away on business.
Being the new kid in school isn’t easy, (is anything when you’re a teenager?) Luckily Krista meets Carrie, who soon becomes her best friend. Carrie introduces her to Brandon, a dreamboat who all the girls adore, but does he feel the same? Along the way Krista also befriends Nick, Aeleise and Ryan. These friends, especially Carrie, Brandon and Krista, are typical teenagers. Or are they?
Growing up is hard trying to figure out who and what you are. Throughout “Torn” the characters each take turns at figuring out their place in this world. We find out that Brandon is gay, but accepted by those who know—Carrie and Krista would never tell. Brandon acts as though he likes girls, even takes Krista to the Homecoming dance. That’s where things started to get confusing for Krista. Brandon and Krista, along with Carrie and Ryan decide to leave the dance early and end up drinking on the outskirts of town and to liven the evening up play an innocent game of ‘Truth or Dare.’ When she is dared to kiss Carrie, Krista not only does it, but finds out she likes it. It makes her feel things she never had before.
As challenging as growing up is, when you don’t know your place it is even harder. These friends all experiment with drinking, drugs and sex as most adolescents do. Carrie and Krista think they like each other in ways neither ever thought about before meeting. Brandon, although swayed by the local boys, also agrees to be Krista’s first sexual encounter…and boy, that kind of stirs the pot. Krista believes she is falling in love with Daemon, the older brother of Aeleise and a Bible fanatic.
“Torn” examines all these situations and reads like a dairy that Krista would write. It was an easy read, in fact a page turner. (The 400+ pages flipped very quickly) The experiences these friends share are unique, but are things that many teenagers will relate to. The underlying messages are that friends are there for you, even when you think they aren’t, that whatever we experience as we grow up will affect us in some way, and that people can, and will, change.
In the words of Amber Lehman, “The world is a difficult place for children. Thank God we turn out as well as we do.”
I recommend this book to anyone—early teens, so that they realize they are not alone in their search for self-discovery. To males and females—we all need someone to help us through at one time or another. And to adults—not only to see what today’s teens think about and have to deal with, but to relive some of what they did back when they were younger. It was a great way to spend a few nights, I am truly grateful that I read this book. And I’m sure you will be, too!

[Miranda · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Updated June 2 2013*

It was November of 2010 that I originally read Amber Lehman's 'Torn' after finding it on goodreads.com. This book had some good reviews and was rated reasonable high on a few polls so I thought I would check it out.

'Torn' covers a lot of issues in its hefty 400 pages and, as a LGBTQ-themed book, the main issue is sexuality. New-girl-at-school Krista is befriended by Carrie in dance class and immediately accepted into her circle of friends. On the night of Homecoming, Krista participates in a game of Truth or Dare and ends up kissing Carrie, which plays havoc and confusion with her feelings. Is it a phase as her older brother calls it or is it something more? Krista turns to her gay friend Brandon for help and this is when the drama really begins.

'Torn' isn't the best written book around, but the one thing that Amber Lehman did really well is create real characters. The characters made this book a page turner. Of all the characters, the stand out was Brandon, the charismatic teenage surfer hiding a traumatic past. Throughout the novel, he grows and changes as a character. His development paid off. Brandon is the character that makes me pull Torn from the book shelf to reread again and again.

This book is not for everyone. The target audience is 16 years and older and there is a detailed (and well written) sex scene in it. As tough as some of the subjects it presents are, this book unravels real issues that we hear about all the time whether in real life or on the TV. I'm really looking forward to reading Amber's next book 'Boy Out of Bounds' due for release next year.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by LadyJay for TeensReadToo.com

14-year-old Krista is in for some major changes. After attending a private Catholic school in Ohio, her family moves to sunny California, and Krista is thrust into the completely foreign world of public education.

These kids are very different from her. They all dress well, drive fancy cars, and act much older than they appear to be. It is all a little overwhelming to Krista - especially since she comes from a rather religious family. Her parents are usually away on some type of mission trip, helping to build a church or handing out Bibles to those who can't afford them.

Krista is eventually befriended by two teens, Cassie and Brandon. They take her under their collective wing and begin to show her the ropes. Krista begins to open herself to new ideas and experiences. She is starting to discover her own identity, and the process is frightening yet exhilarating at the same time.

Krista's world is different now, but she doesn't want to lose the values that she was brought up with. Her dilemma is finding a balance between her new life and the one that she left behind.

TORN is definitely a coming-of-age novel. All of the characters are searching for their niche in the world. There are all forms of experimentation in this novel, including sex, drugs, and alcohol. Some of the content may be a little mature for younger readers, so tread carefully if you decide to pick this one up.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going out there and saying that this was one of my all time fave books. I was completely blown away! For the first time I actually wrote notes besides my kindle clippings. It was filled with so much emotion and angst.

Where can I start without writing too lengthily? Well The book opens with a girl Krista who moves from Ohio to Orange County California. She is starting High School and is 14. On the first day she meets Carrie who is the first girl she sees when she shows up at 0 period. I think this is a Cali thing cause my kids did it. She is in a dance class and sort of hits it off with Carrie right away. Within a few hours she meets Brandon who appears to be Carries bf and they are making out to Krista's embarrassment. Well it was all for show they are just really good friends. She meets Brandon, surfer, Mr rich, hot, smart and popular 16 year old. Along with Brandon she meets Ryan, Nick and Aeleise who is his girlfriend.

As they all settle into high school and get to know each other Brandon emerges as a very strong character. He is sort of intuitive and reads people well. It turns out Brandon a few really big reveals. His secrets and identity as a gay teen in the public eye as a sponsored surfer. He keeps that private. Once they hang out things happen between Carrie and Krista that leave them both questioning life, love and sex. They are now not afraid to talk and experiment which leads them on a pretty dangerous path. Several times I held my breath! In comes Aeleise who is Daemon's sister and happens to be a hot 28 year old who teaches a small group bible study.

Many twists and turns take them from bff to hating each other, then back to friends. It is filled with so much emotion and at times it is hard to read. That is what I loved about it! Also what Krista deals with when she questions Daemon's feelings towards her. Is he attracted to her or not? Then her and Carrie question their bond. Then the BIG OMG moment is when Brandon questions his entire life.

I cant express how glad I was that I read it. I saw some reviews that made me curse like a truck driver. I applaud Amber Lehman and as a Cali girl, she was so accurate it hurt! This is REAL life people and I will say it is by far one of the best books I have EVER read.

[Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had three problems with this book. The characters' ages, the timeline, and the punctuation. Perhaps my feelings in this regard are due to the fact that my high school experience was very sheltered, uneventful, and socially lacking. Having said that, I feel like all the high-school-aged characters should be a minimum of two years older than they were. I was under the impression that age 14 was young for a sexual initiation. And for booze-sex-drug parties, of the type that I never saw or heard about in high school. In addition, the whole Krista-Daemon interaction, while still inappropriate and embarrassing, would have been more acceptable/believable (to me, anyway) if Krista had been 17.

And if Krista were a 17-year-old junior, Brandon could have been a 19-year-old senior. Most people are 18 when they graduate high school, but considering Brandon's situation, I could see him having to repeat 3rd or 4th or 5th grade, thus being a year older than most high school seniors. This scenario still allows Brandon to be more experienced and two years older but only one year ahead of Krista in school.

I found myself questioning Lehman's timeline as well as her characters' ages. Though there are several different examples of this, two obvious instances strike me. After the event that causes almost all the drama in the second half of the book (I'm trying to write this without spoilers), there are two mornings: the morning when Krista gets the balloons (p. 212-213), and the morning when she realizes that she left her books at Aeleise's house (217). But when Ryan comes over that second afternoon, Krista tells him that the event occurred the night before (220), when she had actually been studying for history with Aeleise (216).

The second instance of a confused timeline was when Brandon started avoiding Krista after the cringe-inducing encounter of ultimate "No way"ness with Daemon. (Still spoiler free!) It's Monday morning after the encounter, when Aeleise doesn't want to talk to Krista and Brandon takes her for a wardrobe change (343-345). Four days later (maybe five, if I'm misreading it), it's Monday again (346).

And again I questioned when I realized that the entire book was only supposed to have taken 4 months from start to finish. At the most. Late-August, when school starts, to late-December, at Aeleise/Daemon's Christmas party. Four months? To make new friends; become best friends with a girl who talks you into going with her to a booze-sex-drug party, where you almost get date-raped; go to Homecoming; become best friends with the gay guy who likes to dress live girls like they're Barbies; get a crush on the 28-year-old brother of a classmate; spend very little time doing your homework; experiment with kissing another girl; freak out about how to tell that girl you don't like girls that way; help a friend's boyfriend accept his possible preference for boys; have a slumber party with the gay guy, the boyfriend of a friend that might be gay and the girl you aren't gay with; comfort the friend when her boyfriend dumps her for a guy; avoid the 28-year-old in an attempt to stop crushing on him; go to church once and leave confused; host a birthday party for a girl that you don't like and who acts like a slut around your brother; have multiple fights with both your older brothers about the various hijinks you keep getting into; have sex with the gay guy in a failed attempt to determine whether you're really straight or not; pretend there isn't all sorts of emotional-tuggery after you have sex with the gay guy; help the gay guy save the guy who's crushing on you from a booze-drug-and-maybe-sex party; sleep clothed in a bed with two naked guys; come on to the 28-year-old brother of a classmate in major slut-tastic fashion; run away when he rebuffs you; sprain an ankle when you fall off the lifeguard tower in attempt to escape the creepy guy who turns out to just be the 28-year-old who rebuffed you; piss off your classmate who is the 28-year-old's sister when you platonically sleep (with actual sleeping) with the 28-year-old in his bed; get crazy jealous when the gay guy who de-virgin-ized you spends too much time with his boyfriend; find out that the girl your brother rebuffed is writing terrible things about him in the bathroom stalls; get the gay guy to take revenge by telling everyone she blew him in his car yesterday, but that's all he'd take and thus making everyone think she's a big slut; freak out when you buy the gay guy's revenge story; mend fences with the classmate who is the 28-year-old's sister; mend fences with everyone that got pissed off because you had sex with the gay guy; somehow manage to mend fences with the 28-year-old; draw a whole bunch of pictures/portraits of the gay guy without telling him; approve of the $40,000 ring your oldest brother buys to propose to his girlfriend; get a gothic necklace with ten diamonds and a kiss from the 28-year-old; find out that the gay guy is not the man-ho everyone assumes him to be; try to convince the gay guy that you don't look at the 28-year-old the same way since the cringe-inducing encounter of ultimate "No way"ness; refuse to believe it when the gay guy says he's in love with you; ignore it when the gay guy admits that he must be bisexual because you're too busy telling him he's lying about loving you; let the gay guy kiss you like you've never been kissed before as a tacit acceptance and reciprocation of his declaration, only without the "bisexual" part; and live mostly happily ever after? I don't think so.

Okay, the last part was only implied. It really ends with the kissing part.

(Spoiler-free review? EPIC FAIL.)

But the point is that I can't see all of that happening in six months or less. A year I could see. Even a school year, which is only 9 to 10 months, depending on the evilness of the school. The final encounter where Brandon is all "I must be bi because I'm in love with you," and she's all, "What? No! Okay," could be at a graduation party. It could even be in the same setting, 'cause Aeleise is in Brandon's graduating class, so her brother could throw her a graduation party to which all the same people would be invited. Ta-da! Alternate timeline WIN. (As opposed to epic fail.)

My final complaint, about which I will be much, much briefer, is that the editing, especially the editing of punctuation, in this novel is inferior. Quote marks are left out or added where they shouldn't be; dialogue paragraphs change when the speaker doesn't, leaving me to read the page/conversation three or four times while I try to figure out who said what; commas occasionally show up where there should be no commas; etc.

For both the punctuation and the four-days-equals-a-week timeline errors, I feel that these could have been caught/corrected simply with more careful reading on the part of the author and/or editor(s). Perhaps a more careful reading that would find these issues would also have allowed the author the chance to see and possibly address possible issues of age and/or long-term timeline. Though I would understand if she agreed with me and just didn't want to rewrite all 400 pages of "time flies when you're fourteen."

I could go on, but I won't because I've been working on this review for something like an hour and a half, which is ridiculous and nonsensical, so I'll be leaving it at that. Unless I come back to make it a shorter review. Because, really, this is kind of ridiculous. Unless someone were to publish it. In a magazine. And give me money.

I received a free copy through FirstReads in exchange for an honest review.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay. I'm torn (ha, title pun) about this book. On the one hand, I finished it, and it's no short book. I enjoyed it, I really did. On the other hand, it... well. It wasn't great. This review contains a few SPOILERS. SO BEWARE.

Pros:
Not badly written.
Explores non-hetero orientations.
Engaging, entertaining, fast read for 400+ pages.

Cons:
Ignorant characters.
Annoying characters.
Inconsistent characters.
You get the idea.

I should start by saying I am bisexual, and I was looking for a book with bisexual main characters. I guess this book is kind of like that? I have the ebook, so I can tell you right now that it uses the word "bisexual" all of THREE times--with one sentence being "...if that means I'm bisexual, then I'm bisexual." So, the word shows up ONE other time, in over 400 pages. Really, really not what I was looking for.

The characters also supported very biphobic and erasing opinions. On more than one occasion, the MC (fourteen-year-old Catholic girl) states outright or implies that being very attracted to men/a man means a person cannot also be attracted to women/a woman ("How could she be looking forward to spending an evening with [a boy] or [different boy] for that matter and still be curious about kissing girls?"). She tries to find out if she's attracted to her best girl friend by having sex with her best boy friend--yeah, you read that right. She straight up tells him that she wants to have sex with him to see if she likes having sex with men, because that will tell her if she's attracted to her girl friend. Yeah.

Not to mention the use of the word "phase" that came up twice as often as the word "bisexual." I mean, really. Also the character who talks about how sexual orientations are choices. And the MC using the word "dyke," and not to describe herself or someone else who self-identifies that way. For a book that proclaims it's a great book for bisexuals, I was really disappointed by those things.

Oh, oh, and then there's the sex scene. I will say that it was well written--it focused a lot on emotions and it stayed inside MC's head, which was good. However, it was also highly unrealistic. Women (girls) who don't even know what an orgasm is do not have their first one during a very painful coitus without any clitoral stimulation whatsoever... And then MC commented a few times about her friend's amazing skill in the bedroom. Darling, it doesn't take amazing skill to go directly from kissing to coitus and make people bleed. (Though I guess I have to give him credit for the impossible orgasm.)

What else is there...?

Oh, MC was inconsistent. The way she treated her brother/his girlfriend seemed to come out of nowhere. And then there was the time that she got caught talking about a grown man's junk with her friend, when earlier she was all timid and scared talking about sex. It was like I couldn't figure out if I liked her or not. Ultimately, I decided I did not. She had her moments, but they were overshadowed by her flaws.

Not to mention the immaturity among the characters. I guess I can give them that one, since the majority of them are in high school, but there is one character... Ah, I liked him so much when he was introduced, but by the end of the book, I hated him. He might be the character I hate the most. Daemon.

Sorry, but I can't believe an attractive celibate grown man who openly discusses sex and sexuality with teenagers, who KNOWS that a particular teenage girl has a crush on him, would not know how to handle her telling him about that crush. Nope. Absolutely not. The way he handled her crush (by that, I mean, the horrific and terrifying and pedo-ish way he handled her crush) was so unrealistic I almost gave up reading it. This dude has been trained to deal with teenagers. It just, arrrgh, it was awful and I almost couldn't stand it. I had to push through many interactions between the two of them, sometimes skimming because it made me feel a little sick. Dude goes so far as to let this young teen crawl on top of him and wiggle around. And he later kisses her. Whole lotta nope, buddy. You got problems.

Also, everyone was attractive. Everyone. I don't remember a single character being introduced as average-looking or just okay or ugly... everyone was beautiful, sexy, etc., etc., and that got old quick. Seriously, throw some average people in there. Better yet, have the average people be, you know, the majority and use attractive people sparingly. When everyone is pretty, it stops being special.

As for the good points, the book was certainly interesting. There was always something happening, good or bad. There was enough drama to make it through the 400+ pages. Ultimately, I enjoyed myself... but it was not without flaws, and those always tend to stick out the most.

If you're looking for a dramatic book about sex, drugs, and alcohol in high school, and have a high tolerance for sexual/ity ignorance, definitely check this book out.

[Lauren at Live Read and Breathe Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the concept of a young girl and her friends finding themselves in a big world of possibilities. Trying to find their definition of normal where we are brought up with a way that society and religion try to make us conform to their definition of what normal should be.

First there is Krista who is a biracial 14 year old being basically raised by her older brothers because her mom left her for a missionary trip and her dad was a sperm donor. Her first kiss happens to be with a girl which opens up a world of confusion so what do you do to remedy that but lose your V card to a gay boy and hang out with someone twice your age..



Brandon who was my favorite throughout the book but here is the one thing that bothered me. He was supposed to by gay but he is supposed to come off like no one knew he was gay except his close friends but his dialogue and character through the book was very effeminate which was hard to believe otherwise. His character is supposed to be popular with both all the females and males.



Now we have Carrie who is just as confused as Krista but begins to make some bad decisions and gets into a world of trouble which only creates a bigger issue for all



Now Nick who was thought to be straight comes out and ends up with Brandon but he too is also super confused and is trying to find his way with his new identity.



Now Ryan I felt his crush on Krista was out of nowhere but hey with teenagers who the hell knows these days but he too became a bit confused with what and whom he wants

Now Daemon who is 28 and yes let me repeat Krista is 14. This was a hard storyline to swallow for me. The whole Krista/Daemon thing made me cringe while I was reading it. I felt better after Marc's theory of why but until then I felt like my eyes were burning.

Still during this time Brandon is getting around and all over the map with his emotions



The things that frustrated me with this book was there were WAY too many things going on, which made the book slow going and with quite a few timeline and detail inconsistencies (which unfortunately is a bog pet peeve of mine but I do get why it happens).

Again I liked the concept and after reading this book I have discussed it with many others and I realize that unfortunately this confusion about sexual identity, sex, drugs and the idea of love is quite a big deal for teenagers but it was a lot to take in and I will admit it has been MANY MANY years since I was a teenager and in my era these things weren't as a big deal as they are now.

In the end all things come to a head and end up how they end up. Some will have mixed emotions with the end but to me it made sense and I felt it was a good choice for all.



This story is a very visceral read with elements of absent parents, confusion, drugs, loss, hope, rape, incest, homosexuality and love.

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[Glenda Bixler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn
By Amber Lehman
Closet Case Press
ISBN: 9780979593369
404 Pages

“The world is a difficult place for children. Thank God we turn out as well as we do.”

In addition to loving to read, I appreciate books that have been obviously created with care. Amber Lehman, in Torn, gives credit to Jill Ronsley. Kudos to both of you for creating a truly beautiful book. Torn is a young adult novel (17+) based upon true stories gathered by the author during her own life. Readers will recognize the love and concern with which she heard and remembered those individuals and their lives, by reading the above beginning note from the author.

I quickly point out that this novel is erotic/sexy—a dramatized story of a young girl named Krista. It is an exciting adventure that many teens will enjoy and learn from through Lehman’s subtle but excellent approach.

It may be a difficult book for parents to read; but, in my opinion, you must. Amber Lehman provides a well-written, truly realistic story of the lives of various teens at a local high school. It could be the school your children attend. It could be the lives your children are leading. It could be you, the absent parent(s). With proper guidance and discussions, if I had younger teens, I would also share this book with those mid-teens that are the true characters in this book!

Krista is 14 when her family moves from Ohio to Southern California. Throughout her early years of school she attended a private religious school for girls. Krista would be attending public school for the first time. Her mother is gone for a year, on a church mission in Nicaragua. During her absence, her older half-brother, Marc, a pediatrician, is living at home with Krista and her other half-brother Josh—both with whom she has had little experience in relating/living. Krista dreads starting school.

Krista is artistic, and in choosing a dance class, she finds she’s also part of the cheerleaders. There she met Carrie, who became her best friend, and others. Through Carrie she met Brandon, or rather, she saw Brandon with Carrie as they were making out in the corridors near their lockers. Brandon had pulled back from Carrie, licked his lips at Krista, as if Carrie was no longer there! Quite a first impression about him!

It was only later that Krista learned that Brandon was gay.

Krista had never been kissed. Now she was meeting new boys all around her. So in sharing her fear with Carrie, they decided to learn by kissing each other. That first experiment led to many other sex-related encounters as Krista tries to become comfortable in this new world. All of the girls surrounding her were always talking about boys and what they could do to get their attention--even her brother Josh!

One of her friends then invited her to join a Bible study group at her home, taught by her brother, Daemon, who was twice Krista’s age. He was Aeliese’s guardian while their parents, who were also missionaries, were away from home. Krista also attended their church and found it quite different—where were the statues, the confession booth, the majesty of the priests in long robes? So much was so different! Krista had nowhere to turn to discuss all of these strange and new experiences, except older brothers and friends. And then Krista began to have other ideas about Aeliese’s older brother.

This story is sexy, because the children in the story are surrounded by experiences that include sexuality—drinking, drugs, and what can happen under their influence; sexual orientation experimentation; early experiences of abuse; but, more importantly, the sharing and caring, and, yes, love, that grows between young teens when they have few, if any, adults with whom to relate and discuss such important issues. Torn by decisions that they must make each day.

Step into the lives of the teens you know and love! Read Torn by Amber Lehman. Reality awaits you in this inspiring, frank and, yet, sensitive love story. Meet Krista and her friends now!

G. A. Bixler

[Chris Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Torn" by Amber Lehman ISBN 978-0-9795933-6-9

Review by Chris Phillips

Lehman has written a very good coming-of-age book. She confronts issues both common to teenagers and uncommon. As the publicity said, Gay and Lesbian issues are core to the plot and handled openly and honestly throughout.

Krista is the main character. The story begins with her moving to Southern California from Ohio, going from a parochial school to a public one and her mother going on a mission trip all at the same time. Even though she has no friends when the book begins, she quickly finds some in Carrie, Ryan and Brandon. The tale continues through her sophomore year and the situations she through the school year.

From these four and a few others the plot and character develop, particularly Krista, thoroughly, believably, and consistently. There are concrete and common problems of teen years, but also coping with gender and orientation issues. There is sexually active and gay, Brandon, who is the bright and beautiful Southern California prep. Ryan is the boyfriend that seems perpetually frustrated and inept. Carrie is the best friend and also becomes a love interest for Krista.

The plot mechanism is Krista adjusting and settling into the new school and the new neighborhood. Her brothers are older and involved in their own lives but keep up with what she is doing. There are other friends and people that show up in the plot. There is sufficient variety to give a good balance and yet keep the plot moving.

Issues covered in the book about sexual orientation are seeking definition for same-sex relationship and hetero-relationships. Krista’s questions and discoveries keep the reader involved. Doubts and fears come for Krista, but she finds out that her friends and her own upbringing serve her well. The Gay and Lesbian issue hinted at on the teasers is definitely part of the plot and issues dealt with in this book, but it seems that there is nothing new for persons who actually are Gay or Lesbian or dealing with the identity issues of such. In fact the biggest disappointment is that Krista does the ultimate hetero fantasy and converts a gay guy to bi-sexuality. This is definitely not guide to coping with that, but more of a romantic depiction from a 16-year-old’s perspective.

With the publicity and the back cover there should be more depth to the situation. The final resolution left this reviewer disappointed. The story is directed at this very specific audience and those concerned with teenagers in this age group, but do not expect any major revelations nor earth shattering truths to be revealed. Gays and lesbians, GLBT community members all will have to look elsewhere for a banner novel helping to deal with teenagers coming to grips with their sexuality and sexual orientation.

This should be read for the balanced perspective and acceptance of the characters to GLBT issues, but not as a how-to manual nor as a lesson guide for practical solutions. It is a good romance and should be viewed as such. This is one book that can be read and passed on to someone else that might enjoy it.

Published by Closet Case Press, PO Box 12961, Newport Beach, CA 92658 (http://www.closetcasepress.com) (SRP $15.00/Amazon $15.00) Review copy sent by author.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

After moving from Ohio to California, Krista, aged 14, attends a public high school where she quickly finds good friends. Maybe not too surprising, Krista wants to experiment and is on her way of finding out about her own sexual identity. Inexperienced Kris has a crush on someone far older, and she soon finds out how wrong things can go.
However, this is not about continuous disaster, instead Torn is much more about friendships, close connections and experimenting while coming of age. Krista and Carrie share a special connection, and this is true even more so for Krista and Brandon. Brandon is special, and where Krista is not even close to understanding how attractive she is, Brandon does know, just like he is fully aware of his own rather charming qualities. In him, Krista has her closest confidant, and although only sixteen, Brandon shows exceptional care and love towards Krista, not to mention his foresight and a maturity that goes far beyond his age. Krista can consider herself very lucky to have someone like Brandon, because much of what goes wrong around her is based on things she says or does, but Brandon has her back.
I enjoyed that Torn dealt with first relationships, lesbian, gay and bisexual experiences in such a seemingly uncomplicated way, even though there are lots of tricky moments for Krista the more the story develops. For me Torn was a gripping story, I loved how things got complicated in the different relationships, how we learn more about Brandon’s difficult past, and how all this does come to an ending that maybe was foreshadowed in the second half of the book, but nevertheless surprised me when it happened.
In Torn you’ll find an exciting and gripping plot, teenagers experimenting with drugs, first sexual experiences, young adults finding out about their sexual identities, more than one high school love story, a handful of embarrassing moments that you might recognize as close to what happened in your own teenage years, and all of it written in a vivid way which made me want to read on and on. I absolutely enjoyed the book. 5 out of 5 stars.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never read a book like this. Never read a book anywhere near this! Torn is edgy in a way you wouldn't expect. I wouldn't be surprised if Torn became the next big controversial novel. Listen to this:

*spoilers*

Krista moves to a new city (cliche) and makes two new friends, including Brandon, who's gay. It turns out that Brandon has a traumatic past. He'd been sexually molested by his older brother when he was a child.

Now listen up. THIS part you won't believe.

While Lehman doesn't explicitly say this, she hints and dances around the fact enough that she might as well have come out and said it. At the end of the novel (sorry for ruining it), Brandon (who's a promiscuous gay teen, remember!) admits that he's IN LOVE with Krista. Lehman suggests that the only reason Brandon thought he was gay and was hooking up with so many men... is because he was molested by a man as a child. This whole book chronicles Brandon's conquests, but now it turns out that he's straight after all. Huh. He's been "messing around" with guys... trapped within his memories... and then he's "in love" with a girl. Was Brandon using homosexual sex to redeem himself? Did he finally realize that he could only truly be redeemed by accepting heterosexuality?

A gay who's not. You don't read that in novels! Especially not YA's, especially not in this day and age! I was shocked by Lehman's message. I agree with Lehman's point, but I have never read a book about homosexuality that contained the main message that you can think you're gay, but not be gay. That you can only be using your homosexuality to hide from your heterosexuality. That you can be gay as a result of sexual assault.

Interesting, no? So controversial. I loved it. Read this book now.

[Anna Hardesty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read a book quite like this, and to be honest, after reading a few reviews of it already, I'm a little aggravated with people. This is a POWERFUL novel and I can see why some people could not handle it. Mainly "older" women. I'm 18 years old and I could feel the book speaking to me throughout the entire thing.

So many kids/young adults these days have a lot of trouble dealing with their sexuality and their bodies changing. Sometimes we think we're one sexuality but then a life-changing experience happens and we're back to being confused as ever. This book captures this feeling PERFECTLY. Sure, some parts may feel like they are a little detailed or "disturbing" as one reviewer put it, but I felt like all of the descriptions and feelings and emotions were perfect, the author did an excellent job of going into detail when it needed to be done.
Back to what I was saying. Most adults don't seem to understand how society is changing and a lot of people question their sexuality every day of their lives and it really is one of the hardest things to go through! I love this book for showing all of these feelings in such an excellent manner, I wish I could just hug the author right now.

Amber, thank you SO much for giving me an oppurtunity to read and review your novel, I love it SO much and have already told some of my friends that they need to read it. You are an excellent author and this novel is AMAZING. I don't think I can say that enough!

[Amber Lehman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should you pick up this book? Is TORN the right novel for you? Ultimately you will have to decide, but I can tell you a few things about it that may help you in your decision. 

What it's not: 
- high literature. This is not a literary novel. It is commercial fiction. And it is a teen drama at that. 
-for the sqeemish. If you are easily offended by drugs, sex, cursing and other unmentioned unfortunate real life circumstances this is not the book for you. 

What it is:
-focuses on a group of affluent teens from orange county, CA...their lives, friendships, struggles 
-a GLBT novel. Characters explore sexuality: gay, straight, bisexual, and lesbian
-for older teens. This may be debatable since maturity in teens can very widely, but it was my intention that this book be for older teens due to the mature content. 

If you are still undecided and have any questions about the novel, please feel free to message me with your questions. I am more than happy to answer whatever may be on your mind. And happy reading whatever you chose to pick up! :)

Amber Lehman

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first year of High School is tough enough with all the changes and challenges of education, but the new social environment can be confusing even for the most popular of kids. Krista was dealing with extra. Coming to a new school, in a new state, a dad out of the picture, a mom out of the country, living with her older brothers and then she ends up in Public School for the first time in her life. Having come straight from Catholic schooling, boys as friends was a new concept and being attracted to them was just plain scary, but being dared to kiss her new best friend Carrie, just left her confused about her own newly awakening feelings and desires. With no mother around to talk to, she confided in her gay friend, Brandon. Hoping that with his help she would be able to figure out her feelings and if her attractions for both boys and girls was real, but the help that she asks Brandon for could either give her the information she needs or make things even worse.

This book has so many elements and levels to it, it is difficult to decide which to focus on. As a love (teen love) story, it shows the teen angst, emotions and feelings that some high school students might really feel. It made me remember my own high school days (it was a different time). I wonder now if some of those “popular” kids had similar struggles with their own relationships and/or sexuality, like that portrayed here. As a parent, I can hope that the kids today (my kids included) will not have such struggles. That they can find the acceptance, protection and answers that they need, and that I can help to keep them from some of these types of experiences. It reminds me (as a parent) to have those conversations about drugs and violence (including rape and coercion), while being there as the ‘adult supervision’ that all kids that age still need - whether they like it, or think so.

There was a lot of characters in this book. I understand some of the decisions Krista made, and why, but I “felt” more for Brandon. His bad boy persona covered so much, and after all, he was just another screwed up teenager. I did enjoy the different take on the ever present high school social drama. Probably to serious, candid and explicit for a young adult (13 - 17 years old) reader, but a good coming of age story about young adults.

[Don Gow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn, a new book by Amber Lehman is a complex story that sheds light on the angst and joy that is common in the life of modern teens. A story that could have degenerated into a simple expose of modern teen morals, it is told with honesty and feeling. I was taken aback at first by the young age of the lead character until I realized that this is a modern teen's life. As modern society has evolved, we have made our children grow up faster than at any time in history, and then we decry their lack of innocence.

Ms Lehman, embraces what it means to be a young teen age woman in our modern society and," Tells it like it is". I found myself caring deeply about these characters and the many different lifestyles they embody. Their story is the story of the modern teen and the world as they live in it. I highly recommend this as a book that will shed light into what it means to be a young person in America today, and the choices we require them to make earlier in life than ever before.

[HILLZ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not at all what I expected. There was a time when I really had no idea where this book was headed, but it was a fantastic ride! Even through the main character was only 14, the book is written in a way that I was still able to relate to her. Certainly an eye-opening read! Really enjoyed this book.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

The experience had overwhelmed me. I'd expected something purely physical. Simple. I didn't expect it to tangle with my emotions. I felt all mixed up. I was happy. I was sad. I realized I felt completely vulnerable.

Whether you are currently experiencing your teenage years now, or if like me you are way past those years, think about all those issues that you had to deal with. Now think of all the issues that you were lucky enough to have bypass you. Well Torn deals with all of those very things. The whole gamut of them are all there. It's all laid out between the pages of this book. There is school, friendships, sibling relationships, love, lust, faith, sex, drugs, rejection, rape, incest, sexuality.... And I could probably keep going and list a few more.

Torn centres around a group of teenage friends and is told from the perspective of Krista. She was quite a complex character. But underneath all of those complexities was a girl trying to find her place in the world. That little niche that is hers where she can love and be loved in return.

The characters in this book are all dealing with their own insecurities and issues, but they are all intertwined with each other and all of their actions having varying effects, not just on themselves but on each other as well. And that is one of the lessons that they are learning throughout the book.

"Brandon? Oh he's dating everyone. Brandon bores easily. He collects phone numbers - kind of like stamps; it's mostly for sport. He doesn't call half of them, just likes having them. His conquests, I guess. He keeps them in a fishbowl under his bed."

The character that I loved the most was Brandon. He is beautifully flawed. A boy who has endured so much. Some self inflicted, but I believe that the actions of others drove him to make some of the choices that he did. One of the things that I loved most about him was his honesty. He told it without mincing words and you knew where you stood with him. It wasn't always what people wanted to hear and at times he was very 'in your face', but it was an honesty that touched me. He was caring and loyal and so giving. He was a friend that anyone would be lucky to have.

Trauma had created a void within him, had kept him severed from intimacy. Fear and suspicion held him captive, and tainted his trust and his notions of love.

Two other characters that really stood out to me were Marc and Daemon. They were the two main parental figures although both were actually older brothers left to care for their siblings. Full of sound advice and guidance and always their to offer support and comfort. And the conversation about the Mile High Club had me in hysterics!!!

And then there was that ending. It was beautiful in it's depth of feelings. But I'm greedy. I wanted more!! Not in terms of something better, but I just didn't want the book to end. I wanted to keep reading and I gladly would have, had there been more to read.

For me when I was first reading Torn I thought I was going to rate it four stars but then somewhere along the way I realised that it wasn't a four star book. I was invested in these characters. The author kept me gripped to the pages with her writing. When I wasn't reading it I had been playing out these scenarios in my head of how I wanted things to go. And I was reluctant to check my kindle to to see how little I had left to read. So what started as a four star read ended up being something beyond the five stars I'm restricted in giving.

Torn was at times beautiful, infuriating, harsh and there were parts when the subject matter was hard to read. But above all it was deep and real and showed just how tough those teenage years can be.

5/5 Wonderful Stars!!

[LAURI CRUMLEY COATES · Rating 4 out of 5]

For some people, discovering their actual sexual identity is easy; they are heterosexual and always know that without questioning it; or they have always known they were homosexual. Times have changed, and I think it's probably easier in today's world to be gay or lesbian than in the old days. However, I would imagine that not knowing for sure one way or the other would still be pretty rough to deal with.

This novel deals with a group of teenage friends. When a new girl moves into town and joins the group, the dynamics seems to change a bit. As a teenager, alliances change, petty jealousies come and go, and there seems to be a minor drama going on constantly. In this work, the author introduces us to a group of teens with more than just the minor drama; it's major stuff here. Some of the characters are well drawn, and you feel invested in their life and the goings-on. Some of the characters seem to drift, and it''s much harder to care what actually happens to them. For a first time novel, that's somewhat to be expected; hopefully in future works the author will paint her characters more fully.

There is a lot of sex here, and some graphic depiction. In other instances, it's so glossed over that you are unaware of whether anything actually went on or not. There is actually no real parental involvement anywhere, which I also felt was less than realistic. No one ever seems to have an actual parent giving rules, punishments, etc. Granted, lots of kids today don't have proper supervision; but it bothers me that there is no parental involvement here at all. I think that might have made the story seem more real, and easier for today's teens to identify with. There were some older brothers that seemed in charge of the family dynamics, but that doesn't really ring that true to life.

I'm definitely not a prude, and have no problem with sex when it furthers the plot or seems right for the situation in the story; but some of it is so gratuitious that it isn't really moving the story along and seems to be added just for sex sake. Thjat being said, I do think the story will appeal to teenagers, but it should be older teens, as the author suggests, not younger teens.

I found the story line interesting, and I think that there are many good points here. For teens unsure of the sexual route they are taking, it would probably make them feel better to read about kids with the same issues. I am happy to see that the author made mention more than once of safe sex. That message can't be put forward often enough, in my opinion.

I finished reading this two days ago, and wanted to give myself time to digest and think through the story before reviewing it. There are many redeeming features to the story; but I think too much is left unsaid and unexamined. Life is not full of pat answers to problems, and the book sort of stops at a point that seemed unrealistic. I may be looking at this from the wrong perspective; I am coming at this from the other end of the spectrum, a person 30 some years past the teen years, and with more life experience I tend to view things much differently now than a teenager would; perhaps they would not be disappointed in where the story ends at all.

In all, I do think the author has a bright writing future ahead of her, and would look forward to reading her future work.

[Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not easy being a teen and having to fend for yourself without any parental supervision, but in Amber Lehman’s, Torn, we find out exactly what that’s like for 14–year old Krista. With her mom gone on a church mission for a year, she is placed in the care of her older brother, Marc who does his best to oversee both Krista and her other older sibling, Josh. But with a job of his own Marc can’t be all places at all times. This allows Krista and her best friend Carrie—and soon to be her love interest—get away with more than they should. Soon she is introduced to Carrie’s friend, Brandon, and the three form a tight bond. It is only later that Krista learns that Brandon is gay. Coming to California’s public school from an all-girl’s Catholic school in Ohio, this stuns Krista a bit. But she is able to accept Brandon nonetheless.

Everything seems all right until a dare on Homecoming night shakes up Krista’s morals. She is dared to kiss Carrie and in doing so this brings out unexpected feelings for Krista as they begin to practice for boys. This is Krista’s first experience with kissing and probably adds to her confusion.
Krista, uncertain with this situation, decides that she wants to experiment with a boy. Even though there’s Ryan—Brandon’s straight best friend—the only boy close enough to her that she trusts is Brandon. So she approaches him for her experiment. What follows is a tangled mess that neither had prepared for.

Since Brandon is seeing Nick, she diverts her attention to her friend Aeleise’s brother, Daemon—their bible study group leader. The only problem with this is that he is twice Krista’s age. She goes out of her way to dress up for him, do anything to grab his attention, and one day takes it too far by pushing their sexual boundaries altogether. This has to be confusing to a 14 year-old with no one to turn to except judging friends.

Torn has a lot of racy material in it, but it isn’t written without reason. There is experimentation with drugs, sex, a rape occurs, there is discussion about safe sex, STD’s and so on. Lehman tackles a lot of tricky subjects with candor and care as she sees these teens through their journey. Her writing style was easy to read and it was a book that was hard to put down. After I finished it I loaned it to a friend to read. I would definitely recommend it to others whether they’re gay, straight or bisexual.

[Ruth Silver · Rating 3 out of 5]

Torn is a Young Adult Contemporary story, told in the first-person by fourteen year old, Krista. Thrown into a new school and with new friends, she finds herself mixed up very quickly in a world of sex, drugs and lots of questions about her own identity. Amber Lehman's writing is clear and easy to read but with some heavy subject matter, making Torn appropriate for ages 17 and up. With topics of rape, incest, sexual abuse, statutory rape, drug use and sex - one wonders what wasn't touched on in Torn.



What I liked:

The cover art. It's spot on with contemporary and will appeal to young adults.

Well written, the plot moved along, easy to follow, with appropriate dialogue for teenagers. I felt like as I was reading Torn, I was there with Krista. Some of the story seemed over the top with Brandon's frivolous spending but we did see a glimpse into his background and where the money ultimately comes from.

In the end, this is a book that will definitely make you think. There's a lot of subject matters - some taboo - that are addressed in Torn. Don't expect to finish the book and then not be thinking about it afterwards.



What I didn't connect with:

I would have liked to have seen more consistency with the characters and with the story. There were several plots that seemed to drop away at the end of a chapter and those items were never discussed again. A simple sentence or two, to remind us they hadn't been forgotten would have been sufficient for the reader.

I was disappointed to read that every character that finds themselves questioning their sexuality, in the end decides that going for the opposite sex is what they're truly after. Krista's best friend from the beginning, Brandon, is gay. He's accepted he's gay, he's out, and then by the end of the book he's decided that he's bisexual instead. I had trouble grasping this dramatic change from the character. I felt like he was a well-written and three dimensional character but his actions in the final chapter didn't fit for me.

The adults in the novel frustrated me, especially Daemon. I don't care if a guy is a twenty-eight year old virgin. At no point, should he have let Krista on top of him. In fact, the moment he realized she had a crush on him, he should have been able to deal with the discussion and put an end to it.

[Nance · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The world is a difficult place for children. Thank God we turn out as well as we do."
TORN writtern by Amber Lehman is a young adult novel based on true stories gathered by the author's personal experience. Therefore, this novel is much more touching and readers will recognize the love. It is a brave and candid book about a group of teenagers searching for their identities and dealing with everyday school and family issues. In addition, TORN openly speaks about the realities of life faced by today’s teens. It touches upon the subjects of homosexuality, drugs, underage drinking, and more. It could certainly help any teenager who feels alone, abandoned and confused. And I am quite certain that would be quite a large percentage.

This novel begins as 14-year-old Krista McKinley moves to Southern California with her family. There she finds life at the public school is much different than the Catholic School that she went to back in Ohio. Very quickly she is befriended by Carrie and Brandon, who in turn introduce her to a bunch of other teens and Krista’s life suddenly does not look so bleak. But teens will be teens and a simple game of truth or dare threatens to shake Krista’s life and her beliefs to the core. A dare to kiss another girl and later learned that Brandon was gay causes Krista to question herself and her friends...

TORN dares you to give a look inside the hearts and minds of those they often go overlooked! In reading this book, teen and young adults will get a view also—a view of themselves and of others. How many of your peers have you overlooked or mistaken for arrogant without even knowing a bit about them? Question yourself. Though a novel of fiction, TORN is real life! Amber Lehman' great skill provides a well-written, truly realistic story of the lives of various teens at a local high school. Step into the lives of the teens you know and love!

[Shalonda Williams-Lynard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so excited for Amber and this book of hers. "Torn" was such a great read. I was taken by her characters and by the end, I found it hard to say goodbye to them. I was ready to know what happened to them in life like I would about someone I've grown to know and love.

Krista's story is very common and if it is not talked about amongst parents and children as serious business, I'm afraid that there will always be that gap there; that void that can't be filled.

I was not disappointed in the least by this book. It captured me and I was excited to know what was to come. Krista and Brandon were destined and I was happily rooting for them since the middle of the book.

My favorite character was Brandon. Why? Because he was real to me. He was true to who he was and just as cool, charming and sexy as can be. His maturity didn't surprise in the least. I understand teens like him. In the end, love was love for Brandon and I found that very brave of him to stand up for it when the time was at hand.

Amber, this book was well worth the read. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Alyssa · Rating 2 out of 5]

In all honesty here, I was quite disappointed with this book. When I read the description of the book, I expected the protagonist to be dealing with potentially falling for her best friend. Sure, she deals with that. For five seconds. I feel cheated by this book. I felt like her feelings for her best friend were an afterthought most of the time. I kept reading hoping that it would come back up, but it was like Carrie dropped out of the story. She was thrown back in the story at the end of the book with Ryan and Krista was with Brandon. It felt like they were at homecoming again, minus the gay Brandon. I was expecting something different, the description of the book definitely led me on and left me disappointed. It was a decent book if you ignore any possible expectations.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn by Amber Lehman is an important book. She very deftly peels back the layers between desire and love, the vulnerability of sharing with someone, the personal intimacy of sexual choice.
This book spoke to me in so many ways. Beautifully drawn characters. Lovely. Brava Amber!