Revelations of Doom

by Jedidiah Behe

“Lucian was about to go up the steps to the loft when the soft sound of steel rang out from above. It was not at all loud, but the sound a blade would make being slowly pulled from its scabbard. Many years spent in the woods listening to the ambient rhythms of nature had trained his ears to pick up such out of place sounds. His body reacted reflexively, without thought as though he had done so thousands of times before. He jumped back off the steps just in time to see the glint of a sword slice past were his head was and thunk into the railing. He touched the pummel of his sword, feeling the energy surge through him and was about to pull it free when something within urged him to stop. Before he could decipher the reason for this impulse, the dark form leapt down at him. He ducked back, just far enough to let a second blade wisp by his face. The first was still lodged in the railing. This dodge put him in close to his attacker, making it possible for him to easily strike a deadly blow, but again something inside gave him pause. And then, in the soft glow of a nearby lantern, he caught a glimpse of his attacker, and she was absolutely beautiful.”
Choices, we all make them, every day moment by moment. What most people do not realize is how a simple choice could very well alter their own life and those of everyone around them greatly. What would you do if you were blessed with the curse of being able to see evil and how they manipulate those around you? Would you choose to run in fear, ignore what you have just seen, or fight against something that no one else can see, and therefore limits their belief?
Lucian was chosen to be such a man, much to his dismay. On a path of vengeance he strikes out to find a murderer, unknowing that the world around him is at the brink of war. He pushes on through pain, treachery, despair and even death, only to receive a Revelation that shows him what could very well become the future of his world, and it terrifies him. He is given the ability to see the creatures of shadow, set to destroy the world of the living and manipulate mankind into an evil existence. He is now faced with choices that would change the world forever. The pathways to his destiny are set, but he must choose to follow the correct path, for free will must always be heeded.

Genres: Fantasy

Nook

First published March 2, 2012

About the author

I served in the Navy as a Search and Rescue Swimmer and tried for years to become a SEAL but after countless injuries I was pretty much told that it would never happen. So now I am a SWAT Sniper...me in a nutshell.

Hardly!

I'm also an artist and Indie author who drools over good art and books. I can spend hours looking at artwork from freelancers who are just insanely talented. I can then spend more hours getting lost in any number of books from all different genre's...minus Romance. I feel dirty when I read those.

I love my dog Bushido more than most humans but that is probably because of my current profession.

I have found a new love reading books by new authors and giving reviews, but I am in no way a "Reviewer" I try to explain what I think is good about a book and what I think could be improved but I don't like to ramble on to make my review look professional. If I like the damn book I will tell you...If not you will hear a constructive reason why. I wont blast you like a troll, thats just ignorant.

I love games but I find that I get too addicted and next thing I know World of Warcraft has devoured my soul so I try to stay away from them as much as possible. It is hard to find the time to write when your trying to down a boss in a four hour raid!

My first book was a long time coming and now that I released all that from my wee little brain I find that it has filled to overflowing with yet more imaginings. I truly wish that I could spend all day writing, it is what I find most enjoyable.

Reviews

[Valerie Zambito · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great debut by a new fantasy author! The land of Los is under attack not only from invaders from the north, but from evil shadows that roam unsuspecting among the people. Protagonist Lucian and his companion, Eliath, find themselves on a harrowing search for answers. Along the way, they attract many others to their cause including a beautiful warrior and a princess on the run.

The story captured my interest from the very beginning with likeable characters and an exciting storyline. In the traditional boy faces evil forces theme, Behe gives us an up close and personal view of an epic struggle for survival. The battle scenes are extremely well written and the characters complex yet real. Lucian is a believable hero who transforms from a simple woodsman into a tool for good. Coupled with the great supporting cast of skilled fighters who join him on his journey, this book was hard to put down.

One minor issue I had was the editing and the author’s use of multiple POV’s in one chapter, but since it did not distract from the story, it was easily put aside.

If you are looking for an exciting new fantasy, look no further.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not usually into fantasy books at all, but since a very awesome person wrote this book and just happens to be my daughters Godfather, I wanted to be supportive and read it.

To my shock, I found myself engrossed in the story and couldn't put it down. I loved how I could picture everything written, and imagine what the characters looked like too. The characters were very well developed. A few scenes were a bit on the gory side and left me cringing, but that's a good thing. While reading this book you will be fully immersed in the action.

There were a few spelling errors that annoy me in any book, but that would be my only complaint. I'm really looking forward to the sequel!

[D.M. Dutcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, although rough epic fantasy with nice battle scenes.

Lucian is a normal hunter in a backwater land. Along with his friend Eliath, the two hunt for game and lead a quiet life. However, the murder of Lucian's parents by an almost demonic assassin sets in motion Eliath's real purpose and Lucian's hidden destiny. All the while a madman is raising up a giant army and assassinating king after king.

The book is rough. It's too long for its own good, and the beginning takes a while to get established. The writing and editing are raw, too. It would do better if it were shorter, because for the length of the book, not a lot really happens in it. Oh, an impressive list of characters is in it, and many of them are pretty awesome, but the plot is "gather the heroes and fight" and might be a little too small for the length.

The characters though are well done. I didn't really get into Lucian, and Thazulont was too evil for the sake of evil for my tastes, but everyone else I liked. Solomon especially needed more time in the book: he's a bad-ass priest monk who steals every scene he is in from the moment you first see him, but even minor characters like the witch Lornaleen can be intriguing. The villains as well. The books mythos is pretty good too, and I wish he had spent more time on it. Battle scenes pick up quite a bit, and Jedidiah isn't afraid to play fast and loose with who survives and who doesn't.

So it's a pretty good epic fantasy that's just a little rough around the edges. I'll be interested to see what he adds to the plot in the next book.

[Marina Fontaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a lot to recommend this book. The author definitely knows how to write and if the editing didn't really slack off during the last 1/4 of the story, I would not even know it was an indie production. A lot of fantasy books overwhelm with a huge number of characters and places, making it hard to follow. Somehow it's not the case here. The characters/tribes are introduced slowly, getting the reader to know each one before moving on to more information. Also the fight/battle sequences are expertly written, never letting the speed of action cloud what's actually going on. My only significant quibble is that too much time is spent describing what each character is feeling. Those parts could be cut down because, well, it's not hard to figure out what they are feeling because of what they do, and it does get repetitive. The plot is fairly straightforward and not very original, so if you are looking for something that has never done before, this one is probably not for you. However, if you want a solid fantasy tale with characters you get to know and love, go for it.

[Lucian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admit that I bought this ebook because it was $.99 and the hero shares my name. That may not be a big thing if your name is John or Jane but for me it's a really big deal! I really enjoyed it even though it was strange to read my own name over and over.
It was an easy read and it has all the things I enjoy like sword fights and magic. Editing slacked off a bit towards the end but the story was good, moved quickly and I liked the characters. A little more character development wouldn't hurt but I still felt like I understood them.
I will certainly read the next installment and look forward to spending more time with Lucian and friends.

[Brendan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the 'new age' spin on the classic 'chosen-one-paladin-knight-demi-god' story. Behe did a good job integrating newer ideas into the story, and apart from a few bumps where the story logic changed or didn't make very much sense, it was a very good book. I wish he had put more effort into the fight scenes, and especially the war at the end, simply giving your main character godly armor and pitting him and a bunch of elites against an army that outclassed them in brutality, number, and sheer momentum is not good enough. Just this part of the book was enough to lose a lot of faith in the consistency of the story, which was already a little shaky for these reasons among others (but those were more acceptable, or I forgot them):
The fight scene in the mist right before he gets to one of his destinations was pretty bad at explaining or even implying what was happening,
instant immortal level of combat ability granted to him by a divine who said he couldn't interfere despite interfering mere seconds before,
extremely dangerous assassin group suddenly extremely ineffective at being dangerous to anyone other than street rats, common thugs and the occasional despicable noble,
the resourcefulness and combat ability of Kyrianna suddenly decides to make an appearence after her aparrent inability to do anything to defend herself has run out of steam for advancing the plot,
those pesky 'professional' assassins that claimed a very low fail rate, apparently sent the second lowest level of their members with the ability level of common kidnappers to assassinate and kill the beloved royal family of an important country.
Of course, they fail. They managed to miraculously plan and execute a semi-complex plan to kill the royal family all at once. But they somehow didn't accommodate anywhere in their plans for anything that might change on the whim of the targets like, oh say, the weather, the 'free-spirited' nature of the princess (who often hid her identity while in public for largely illogical reasons as the royal family is, once again, very much loved by their people.
Behe makes sure you understand that HER family, the ROYAL family of HER country, was running a somehow prosperous yet weak and only barely advancing COUNTRY with her MUCH LOVED FATHER, THE KING of this small country with a MONARCHIST government that implemented a lot of the methods of a REPUBLIC. To be fair, it wasn't modeled after the U.S. government (seems to be a common theme in other books I've read), and kept the king in near total power, as the only way to override him was by popular vote, of the citizens, which the council represented.

On the other hand, however, I found this book from a new and upcoming author, interesting enough, with just the right mix of mystery, action, and (fucking) romanticism (not a big deal, most like this, I find) to keep me interested and entertained for the majority of the book, even towards that final battle, with its inexplicable route of enemy forces that clearly have a lot of major advantages to include leadership. The amount of mature content is enough that I wouldn't recommend this book to someone younger than roughly 13 years old unless they have proven themselves either hearty readers of books, or realists. Don't take my word on this though, really, I like to break down every problem that I see in a book, and that often turns out to be problems that a lot of other people who have read the same book simply don't see as a problem. That's perfectly OK with me, I am by no measure a professional critic. Personally, I don't even read into the book and look for problems like this until later, after I have finished reading it, or am asked to find problems with it or pick it apart.

I truly enjoyed reading this book and eagerly await the release of a sequel. To Behe's credit, he made many of his more vague ideas and in-book theories likable, enjoyable, and even logical(even the instant combat ability increase and the 'can't-interfere-even-though-I-just-interfered' at the moment that I was reading it, which really shows some skill in my opinion). The magic system is pretty basic, but obviously well thought out even though what is done with it is not very impressive (Fear My Holy Light(Armor, Because It Is So Magical Overpowered And Indestructible Despite Being Made Of An Element So Rare It Was Reserved For Emperors, High Priests, Paladins, Prophets And Angels That Apparently Just Dropped By The Local Temples For A Friendly Visit, Then Stopped Doing That For A Reason That Was Never Explained A Few Hundred Years Ago Which Is Also The Amount Of Time It Takes To Turn Stories Like That Into Legends. It Might As Well Make Lucian A Modern Armored Tank In A World That Struggles With Minor Barbarian War Tribes That Don't Even Outnumber The Buildings In A Small Amazonian City In The Fucking Middle Of A Tropical Jungle Bordering A Desert, A Plain, A Mountain Range, A Relatively Small Coastal Country That Doesn't Really Have Its Own Climate, And A Tundra That Covers Most Of The Northern Half Of The Continent, And Please Don't Cast A Spell That Basically Gives Your Army Of Darkness And Corruption Sunglasses So They Aren't Blinded By The Light [lyrics running rampantly through your head fully intended])), and while the world building tended to start off with a large map and only fog-of-war to put on it, it ended pretty well defined. I should mention as well that the scale of the world is not very conventional, it begins well enough with the whole 'big unknown world full of danger, adventure and treasure in nearly equal amounts' but by the end of the book, it seems a lot smaller. If I remember correctly, the main character managed to go from nearly the northern tip of the 'civilized' human group of organized countries to the extreme southern tip of the continent, where the most southern city is located on the coast, took about two to two and a half weeks by horse with slightly rushed but still casual travel, excluding breaks in cities and towns on the way that took a few days for each one at a minimum. There is also a swamp somewhere in the world that is not very specific in location where a major confrontation occurs and key figures with power are pitted against each other. By the time the book ends, the map that the reader builds as the book goes on feels empty for the most part, with pretty pictures tacked on to a few locations at random. despite this, the level of detail in each setting was still adequate enough to make it work and not have the reader question it.

[Volpot · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was just OK. Not that great but not bad either. I finished the book, and mostly enjoyed it while I read it. But really, when I was done, I had to admit I wouldn't miss the story or characters one bit.

Now there were some good points. For example, the author creates a civilization in which the tribe is the basic organizing social structure. Not only are tribes the basis around which towns/cities are built, but they also dramatically affect the cultural norms by which the members live. We see tribes that are matriarchal, tribes that are essentially hunter-gatherers, tribes that are religious based, etc., etc. Overall, I found this to be an interesting feature; albeit unrealistic that all these tribes would live in very close proximity for a thousand years and have virtually no knowledge/understanding of each other.

The story itself is fairly interesting: it tells the story of the good guy main character, who of course is unknowingly more than he seems, as he rises to greatness leading the good tribes against all that is evil. Along the way there is the obligatory meeting of his soul mate and resulting insta-love. This romantic element, however, wasn't the focus of the book and didn't overwhelm the story.

My main criticisms were:

1) I thought the characters were two dimensional at best. The main character is helped in his journey to greatness by 3 secondary characters. None of these secondary characters were fully developed, in my opinion. Now one character is meant to be somewhat mysterious, I get that. Nevertheless, since this particular character is instrumental in the development of the main character, I really would have expected more insight into his background and motivations. The main character's love interest as well didn't get fully fleshed out. She, in particular, had an interesting experience during the book that could have been more fully told.

2) My second problem had to do with the muddled theology in the book. There are apparently evil spirits and what appear to be fallen angel-like creatures, there are apparently good-guy angel-like creatures, there appears to be a good god, and there appears to be a satan-like creature. Now I used the word "appears" in all of those previous phrases because none of this is very well explained. Since this "war" between the good god/angels and bad god/angels is the main impetus of the story, the muddled presentation of all of this was very unsatisfying. In the end, for me, it dramatically increased my level of impatience with the story.

3) I thought the combat descriptions were either confusingly written or the author doesn't really have a good feel for what this sort of medieval-level of war fighting would be like. It got a little tiring reading about every other character wielding their sword/axe in circles and mowing down dozens of opponents at a time. Yet that's the kind of battle description we repeatedly received. No mention of a shield wall, formations, tactics, etc. And I won't even bring up the author's idea of good tactics being that a city garrison, outnumbered 2 or 3 to one, particularly in cavalry, would choose to confront this overwhelmingly superior force outside the city walls on the open battlefield (OK, I lied and brought it up anyway).

4) Lastly, I got tired of the main character being "too good". He has no flaws. He's good looking. He is always good natured. He is super intelligent. He is always diplomatic. He is the bravest one around. His prowess in combat is unequalled. Although he's just a farm boy, he gets the noble girl. Add to all of that the magical blessings that make his armor impenetrable and the magic from his sword unstoppable and the main character, for me, became just another boring Mary Sue.

Now even with all of those shortcomings I found in the book, the book was mostly entertaining. I'm not sorry I bought it. But when the sequel comes out, I won't be buying it.

[Bryan Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those fantasy novels that had me hooked from Chapter 1 to the conclusion. The pacing is great, descriptions are up to standards, and there's even some sprinkles of romance added in. There is still room for improvement with a lack of explanation for some story elements such as the Angelic being(s) and whereabouts of the Priest but overall it was a great novel.

Does anyone know if the author is planning a sequel?

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great first book by a new author. Good character development which draws you into the character's lives. I'm looking forward to the next book in the series.

[Aphrael · Rating 2 out of 5]

plot pretty simplistic good vs evil, characters a bit onedimensional, but nice worldbuilding and proper internal logic.

[Dave Neuendorf · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book set a record for the number of homophones and other language errors I've seen in one book. The author couldn't have even done a single editing pass himself, let alone had anyone else read it, before publication. The plot was interesting enough to entice me to slog through the horrid English to the finish, but I can't recommend it to anyone else.

There is too much graphic violence, including sexual assault, to recommend for YA readers. Almost worse would be exposing young readers to the poor writing. I owe my own English proficiency, such as it is, to extensive reading of at least decent quality writing. If today's youth learn the same way, they would be set astray by books like this.

I hope the author tries another fantasy novel, but I recommend that he have others read and edit the book before publication.