Don'ts for Husbands and Don'ts for Wives

by Blanche Ebbutt

Don’t sulk when things go wrong. If you can’t help being vexed, say so, and get it over. Don’t wash your dirty linen in public, or even before your most intimate friends. If there are certain disagreeable matters to discuss, take care to discuss them in complete privacy. Don’t return to an old grievance. Once the matter has been thrashed out, let it be forgotten, or at least not be a reoccurring focus of discussion. Don’t ‘manage’ your husband too visibly. Of course, he may require the most careful management, but such ought not be displayed to friends. Above all, never let him think you manage him. Husbands, don’t put on too much of the “lord of creation” air. It will only make you look ridiculous. Don’t refuse to give way about trifles. When a principle is at stake, it is a different matter, but most matrimonial differences arise from trifles. Don’t be conceited about your good looks. It is more than probable that no one but yourself is aware of them. - And, much, much more...

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Reference, History

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Blanche Berry born 1866 Hyde, Cheshire.
1881 Pupil-teacher in Hyde (aged 14.)
1891 Married journalist William Arthur Ebbutt in Stockport.
1894 Son Norman born Lambeth, London.
1898 Son Alan born Hornsey, Middlesex.
1901 Resident at Coulsdon, Surrey.
1913 Her two advice manuals were published.
1946 Died in Staines, Middlesex aged 79 years.

Reviews

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun and unique quick read.

As is to be expected, a handbook of marital advice from 1913 has some laughably obsolete and backwards advice, but it's certainly got its fair share of timeless wisdom that married couples today could stand to ponder and heed.

Many of the tips given to both husbands and wives are surprisingly forward-thinking for the time.

"Don't talk down to your wife. She has as much intelligence as your colleague at the office; she lacks only opportunity."

And even in the cases where the advice is outdated, the wit and humor still holds up.

"Don't throw cigar-ends into the bowl of water your wife keeps in front of the gas-fire. They are not ornamental, and she will not be pleased."

The physical books themselves are fun too - a pair of tiny volumes barely four inches high. They're an eye-catching addition to the shelf.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing little book, and not without some good points.

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is an interesting piece of historical literature. Somewhat humorous, and full of advice that seems to me common sense.

[Gabriela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pieces of advice for marriage life, published in 1913, most of them amazingly still valid nowadays. Witty and charming, must be read in English as the style and language are most precious.

[Calvin Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

No other book could have prepared me for married life.

[Taija · Rating 3 out of 5]

Huvittava pikkukirja, jossa ohjeita aviomiehille ja -vaimoille - vuodelta 1913. Kirjassa oletetaan, että mies käy töissä, klubilla, golfaamassa ja kalastamassa, kun taas vaimo on kotona ja hoitaa kotia ja lapsia. Ja että on palvelijoita! Osa ohjeista oli ihan absurdeja, kuten "Älä anna miehesi teroittaa lyijykyniä pitkin vierashuoneen mattoa. Se ei tee hänestä onnellisempaa, ja matto kärsii siinä missä palvelusneidon kärsivällisyyskin." (Siis: what?!?), mutta osa oli oikein hyviä neuvoja tähän päiväänkin, kuten "Älä unohda näyttää lapsillesi esimerkkiä, että äitiä kohtaan pitää olla huomaavainen. He oppivat pian säästämään hänen vaivojaan monin pienin tavoin, jos he huomaavat, että sinä teet aina samoin." tai "Älä nalkuta miehellesi. Jos hän ei toteuta toiveitasi rakkaudesta sinua kohtaan, hän ei varmasti toteuta niitä nalkutuksenkaan avulla." Ja ihan viran puolesta miellytti tämä: "Älä unohda vakuuttaa elämääsi järkevällä summalla. Silloin vaimosi ei ainakaan jää puutteeseen, jos kuolet yllättäen."

Kannattaa lukea kyllä, hyvää viihdettä :D

[Kirsten Steele-Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

The description on the back touted “an amusing compendium of the sound and not-so-sound marital advice…nearly a century ago.” I actually found it to be very ahead of its time for having been originally published in 1913, with advice like “Don’t hesitate to talk politics with your wife…Encourage her to read and talk of political matters.” It made me laugh out loud in parts, and gave some interesting advice on being a good wife. Will definitely come back to this one!

[Johanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tässä oli itse asiassa ihan hyviäkin neuvoja välissä. Aika toi siihen hauskoja lisävivahteita.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightful little book that really has a lot of very good advice.

[Reagan Faith Waggoner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lol

[Timothy Omondi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice read

[Nate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its a fascinating look at how to achieve a successful marriage. Despite being written/published in 1913 much of the advice is still applicable today. The stuff that is not makes for some good humor when it references cooks, maids, and servants. Clearly this was written by someone who was addressing an audience in high-society, but despite that this book contains some great words of wisdom for husbands and wives and likewise for those dating who just want to know a thing or two about how to improve their relationships.

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

As old advice some of this comes from an age when the remains of the Christendom we live under were a bit stronger--it has wisdom which is owed to Christianity even if the author never mentions Christianity. And as the remains of Christendom fade we as a people fail to see what past generations called common sense.

My wife and had had fun reading through these (this and the one for husbands).

[Noble Gill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is meant to poke fun at "out of date" ideas about marriage, but I think that they're all still perfectly applicable! Nothing wrong with honoring your spouse. :-)