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The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life
Whether or not one has lived an exceptional or dramatic life, we inherently understand that writing memoir-whether it's a book, blog, or just a letter to a child-is the single greatest portal to self-examination. Stop treading water in writing exercises or hiding behind "writer's block" and learn how to write with intent. Marion Roach Smith's disarmingly frank but wildly fun tactics offer you simple and effective guidelines that work. Your legacy beings now.
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First published January 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 268 reviews
February 3, 2014
I loved this book. At an underwhelming 114 pages, she packed a punch, which meant that every word counted.
The two most poignant things I learned were 1) the difference between memoir and autobiography (and my, do I see now that there is a vast difference) and 2) memoir is all about angle. You can reuse the same life events and tell them a million different ways when you see them through different lenses of time (in the moment rather than when the dust has settled) point of view (the widow, her sister, or their neighbor), perspective, etc. I love that, out of the same finite number of life experiences you can create meaning in millions of combinations.
Though this was a library book, it's one I expect to purchase so I can refer to it. It really was THAT good.
The two most poignant things I learned were 1) the difference between memoir and autobiography (and my, do I see now that there is a vast difference) and 2) memoir is all about angle. You can reuse the same life events and tell them a million different ways when you see them through different lenses of time (in the moment rather than when the dust has settled) point of view (the widow, her sister, or their neighbor), perspective, etc. I love that, out of the same finite number of life experiences you can create meaning in millions of combinations.
Though this was a library book, it's one I expect to purchase so I can refer to it. It really was THAT good.
June 14, 2011
"The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life", by Marion Roach Smith, provides original, humorous and effective methods to make the dream of writing your story a reality. The author encourages aspiring memoirists to "write on" with intent and purpose.
I always thought a memoir would be about me...me...me. Mrs. Smith advises the writer to ask the following question, "What is this about?" The writer must decide on a theme for the story and then use personal experiences to illustrate the theme. The theme might be "revenge", "betrayal" or "mercy" and certain personal experiences would illustrate that theme. By the way, Mrs. Smith advices that only one of these words should ever apply to the story's intent, and that's "mercy".
In a memoir, there are three basic guidelines;
(1.) Writing memoir is about telling the truth.
(2.) Every page must drive one single story forward.
(3.) Just because something happens, doesn't make it interesting.
This book was a real pleasure to read because it offers very practical information in a light-hearted and humorous manner. The book is for people who are tired of doing writing exercises, taking classes and reading books about writing. This book provides solid tactics for writers who are ready to WRITE. Mrs. Smith suggests that a writer should write five pages a day...five days a week. The job of writing a memoir is real WORK and should not be taken lightly. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is ready to "write on".
I always thought a memoir would be about me...me...me. Mrs. Smith advises the writer to ask the following question, "What is this about?" The writer must decide on a theme for the story and then use personal experiences to illustrate the theme. The theme might be "revenge", "betrayal" or "mercy" and certain personal experiences would illustrate that theme. By the way, Mrs. Smith advices that only one of these words should ever apply to the story's intent, and that's "mercy".
In a memoir, there are three basic guidelines;
(1.) Writing memoir is about telling the truth.
(2.) Every page must drive one single story forward.
(3.) Just because something happens, doesn't make it interesting.
This book was a real pleasure to read because it offers very practical information in a light-hearted and humorous manner. The book is for people who are tired of doing writing exercises, taking classes and reading books about writing. This book provides solid tactics for writers who are ready to WRITE. Mrs. Smith suggests that a writer should write five pages a day...five days a week. The job of writing a memoir is real WORK and should not be taken lightly. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is ready to "write on".
February 1, 2016
Saw this recommended somewhere; however, I just could not get into it. Found it to be a weird hybrid of personal anecdotes with writing advice. And by writing advice I mean such gems as "carry paper with you and write notes". And then more personal anecdotes.
Whatever rocks your boat.
Whatever rocks your boat.
February 11, 2021
More like 3.5 stars. I liked this book but not as much as I liked Louise DeSalvo's The Art of Slow Writing: Reflections on Time, Craft, and Creativity or Walter Mosley's This Year You Write Your Novel.
In this short book with a long title, Marion Roach Smith is all "brass-tacks"---is that the right phrase to describe her no-nonsense, almost military approach to memoir-writing? Her basic guidelines are these:
*writing memoir is about telling the truth;
*every page must drive one single story forward; and
*just because something happened doesn't make it interesting. (Take that! and that! and that!)
She pooh-pooh's writing prompts, morning pages, and writing from the right side of one's brain. "Writer's block"?---a myth, she says---just crack open a reference book such as Bartlett's Familiar Questions, or leaf through a personal photo album, high school yearbook, or journal and the memories and stories will flow. Her instructions make memoir-writing accessible to the many rather than the few.
In your first scribblings,please don't aim to carefully choose each word as you go along---Roach Smith calls this "the death of writing." And while she likes Anne Lamott's "shitty first draft" idea (from Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life), she prefers her friend Gary's "vomit draft" because it requires"retching and moaning."
If you require an unsentimental coach to guide you in methods for cutting and shaping your personal stories into "Barbie-Bodied" smoothly-driven, perfect-pitch memoir---in short or long-form---then this book is worth reading. Sprinkled liberally with anecdotes from her own life and writing, to me this book felt like the author found a way to make use of vignettes she slashed and cut from her own completed memoir writings.
I took notes and read it slow because it was so pragmatic it would have had less-impact (been less helpful) had I raced through it. Then I returned it to the library....but it might be a book worth having in my personal library just to refer to from time to time. The tone of this book is sort of like that of an aunt [who you have to admit] is often right even though you don't love how she breaks things down to you.
In this short book with a long title, Marion Roach Smith is all "brass-tacks"---is that the right phrase to describe her no-nonsense, almost military approach to memoir-writing? Her basic guidelines are these:
*writing memoir is about telling the truth;
*every page must drive one single story forward; and
*just because something happened doesn't make it interesting. (Take that! and that! and that!)
She pooh-pooh's writing prompts, morning pages, and writing from the right side of one's brain. "Writer's block"?---a myth, she says---just crack open a reference book such as Bartlett's Familiar Questions, or leaf through a personal photo album, high school yearbook, or journal and the memories and stories will flow. Her instructions make memoir-writing accessible to the many rather than the few.
In your first scribblings,please don't aim to carefully choose each word as you go along---Roach Smith calls this "the death of writing." And while she likes Anne Lamott's "shitty first draft" idea (from Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life), she prefers her friend Gary's "vomit draft" because it requires"retching and moaning."
If you require an unsentimental coach to guide you in methods for cutting and shaping your personal stories into "Barbie-Bodied" smoothly-driven, perfect-pitch memoir---in short or long-form---then this book is worth reading. Sprinkled liberally with anecdotes from her own life and writing, to me this book felt like the author found a way to make use of vignettes she slashed and cut from her own completed memoir writings.
I took notes and read it slow because it was so pragmatic it would have had less-impact (been less helpful) had I raced through it. Then I returned it to the library....but it might be a book worth having in my personal library just to refer to from time to time. The tone of this book is sort of like that of an aunt [who you have to admit] is often right even though you don't love how she breaks things down to you.
September 20, 2024
Finished reading.
There is some good advice here. Although nothing you don’t already know. That is to say that it has left me somewhat disappointed.
At some places the author seems to be doing exactly what she asks you not to. All in all an okayish read.
There is some good advice here. Although nothing you don’t already know. That is to say that it has left me somewhat disappointed.
At some places the author seems to be doing exactly what she asks you not to. All in all an okayish read.
April 3, 2018
I was really disappointed in this book. I found it to be more memoir than a 'how to' book about writing memoir. The writing advice given was pretty generic and could be found anywhere. There were a few useful points I took from the book but these were almost exclusively in the last few pages of the book and could have easily been encapsulated in essay form. The book read to me mostly as a self-promotion of the author. But maybe that's just me; her voice and personality just didn't gel with me.
February 3, 2014
A slim volume, itself an example of memoir, that illustrates, teaches, and encourages the writing of memoir in all its variety of forms and functions.
Don’t look at The Memoir Project if you’re looking for writing exercises. Marion Roach Smith doesn’t recommend them. Instead she offers this invitation:
So let’s begin together, literally on the same page, and with a tacit agreement that from this moment on, we will write no exercises; we will write for real. With a goal. p. 7
Although, if you’re used to writing exercises, some of the ideas she offers could be approached that way, but with a goal in mind for what to do with the piece once it’s written — write a holiday article for a magazine, an op-ed piece for a newspaper, or take something that happened this week and turn it into a column or blog post.
More thoughts on my blog: The Memoir Project
Don’t look at The Memoir Project if you’re looking for writing exercises. Marion Roach Smith doesn’t recommend them. Instead she offers this invitation:
So let’s begin together, literally on the same page, and with a tacit agreement that from this moment on, we will write no exercises; we will write for real. With a goal. p. 7
Although, if you’re used to writing exercises, some of the ideas she offers could be approached that way, but with a goal in mind for what to do with the piece once it’s written — write a holiday article for a magazine, an op-ed piece for a newspaper, or take something that happened this week and turn it into a column or blog post.
More thoughts on my blog: The Memoir Project
April 18, 2012
I give this five starts, which in the language of GoodReads means "It was amazing." What is amazing about Ms. Smith's accomplishment is that she has fit about 400 pages of information and ideas and inspiration into a mere 114 pages. I read some of it on the Red Line going to the State House or Boston Public Library, laughing out loud or exclaming "Wow!" enough to make my fellow passengers wonder, "What's with this guy?" I won't try to summarize it, I'll just wholeheartedly recommend this - not just to would-be writers, but also to readers who wonder how some authors are able to get through to us so easily. Just as a teaser, I'll conclude with one quote, guaranteed to appeal to a librarian, in the enticingly-titled "THE MYTH OF THE WRITER'S BLOCK," on page 42: "The inability to move forward melts when you open a reference book." Call me a major fan of Marion Roach!
April 12, 2012
I enjoyed The Memoir Project both for its entertainment value and for its dead-practical tips on writing nonfiction well. This slim volume (114 pages) is well worth spending an afternoon on.
January 24, 2015
I lead a creative writing group that is 100% prompt based. So upon discovering Smith’s wonderful little book about writing memoirs, I remember feeling a little disloyal to my group. For Smith finds writing prompts “insulting”. She goes on to say,
[Writing] is serious work. And it cannot be reduced to generic writing exercises and prefabricated prompts. And ask yourself these questions: Have any of those ditties ever gotten you published? Has scribbling from the right side of your brain, or getting in touch with your angel’s feather, or keeping morning pages put you where you want to be as a writer? After reading one of those books of exercises, or subscribing to yet another Web-based, prompt-list newsletter, have you actually finished that letter to your child that you long to give her? I doubt it. I suspect that those manners of nonsense have instead stolen what little time you had for writing.
Harsh! I know! And yet, I love Smith’s writing even as she’s describing the challenges of writing. I hope you’ll check out The Memoir Project and spend some time exploring the craft of writing with Smith. But for now, take a prompt from this anti-prompt writing advocate. Dig out that tired, old story of your divorce and re-write it. Tell us the moment you realized you no longer love your wife. Don’t write about the years you watched your mother’s health decline. Tell us about the moment you realize your own mother didn’t know her daughter. Or the moment after hitting send in an email where you’ve resigned from the job you’ve hated for fifteen years. Focus on the important moments. And then do it again. Pretty soon you can string those moments together and you’ll have a fine memoir.
[Writing] is serious work. And it cannot be reduced to generic writing exercises and prefabricated prompts. And ask yourself these questions: Have any of those ditties ever gotten you published? Has scribbling from the right side of your brain, or getting in touch with your angel’s feather, or keeping morning pages put you where you want to be as a writer? After reading one of those books of exercises, or subscribing to yet another Web-based, prompt-list newsletter, have you actually finished that letter to your child that you long to give her? I doubt it. I suspect that those manners of nonsense have instead stolen what little time you had for writing.
Harsh! I know! And yet, I love Smith’s writing even as she’s describing the challenges of writing. I hope you’ll check out The Memoir Project and spend some time exploring the craft of writing with Smith. But for now, take a prompt from this anti-prompt writing advocate. Dig out that tired, old story of your divorce and re-write it. Tell us the moment you realized you no longer love your wife. Don’t write about the years you watched your mother’s health decline. Tell us about the moment you realize your own mother didn’t know her daughter. Or the moment after hitting send in an email where you’ve resigned from the job you’ve hated for fifteen years. Focus on the important moments. And then do it again. Pretty soon you can string those moments together and you’ll have a fine memoir.
January 4, 2018
I recommend The Memoir Project for anyone writing a memoir because the time investment is short - 111 pages - and you might just find the gem that makes your project work.
The book landed on in my To Read pile about 1 1/2 years ago, when I was interested in memoir writing. I later abandoned that idea in favour of writing fiction, so read the book quickly for general writing advice. From the start, the author expresses a opinion I hadn't heard before: avoid writing prompts and exercises, which are time-wasters that won't lead to getting published. Only writing with intent will result in work that others will want to read. All these years I've felt like an oddball writer, with my disinterest in journaling or morning writing exercises.
I also enjoyed her remarks toward the end, when she discusses editing. "Murder Your Darlings," she says, might be the phrase most beloved by writers, who all feel assured this applies to everyone's work but their own. From actor Mike Myers' comment on acting, she applies the notion of 'heighten and add" to revision, which doesn't mean expand. It's an effective way to describe the process of heightening your writing to go deeper.
The book landed on in my To Read pile about 1 1/2 years ago, when I was interested in memoir writing. I later abandoned that idea in favour of writing fiction, so read the book quickly for general writing advice. From the start, the author expresses a opinion I hadn't heard before: avoid writing prompts and exercises, which are time-wasters that won't lead to getting published. Only writing with intent will result in work that others will want to read. All these years I've felt like an oddball writer, with my disinterest in journaling or morning writing exercises.
I also enjoyed her remarks toward the end, when she discusses editing. "Murder Your Darlings," she says, might be the phrase most beloved by writers, who all feel assured this applies to everyone's work but their own. From actor Mike Myers' comment on acting, she applies the notion of 'heighten and add" to revision, which doesn't mean expand. It's an effective way to describe the process of heightening your writing to go deeper.
February 22, 2012
Loved this book and the voice Roach has in it. While this subtitle calls itself "non-standard," the advice contained within is what you'll hear in college courses. She has great delivery and this a great volume of compacted advice. It may be that the newbie writer might need some practice for her condemned "writing prompts" to get the juices flowing.
I read this in prep for a memoir writing workshop I'm teaching in April. This book has really excited me about working with memoir writers!
I read this in prep for a memoir writing workshop I'm teaching in April. This book has really excited me about working with memoir writers!
January 13, 2020
I listened to interviews with this author and read her blog so when I saw this volume, I had to have it. I hoped for more specific lessons. Instead, the book offered a somewhat entertaining (although not always) account of her writing history. It's a memoir about how she writes memoir. Some of the information is useful, but I don't understand her beef with writing prompts. Still, the book is helpful, especially the final chapters and was definitely worth the short time it took to read it.
March 8, 2021
I hoped for instructions on how to write a memoir. This book tries to be both a memoir and an instruction manual but fails at both. I did get one thing from this book, and that is the realization that this was really a pre-requisite to Ms. Roach-Smith’s very expensive writing class on line. All pages just lead you to take her courses where you will get all the information you hoped for in this book.
February 19, 2019
Best book I've read to date on memoir writing. In just over 100 pages Marion Roach Smith informs, guides, challenges and encourages anyone who wants to start writing or continue writing any form of memoir or any writing at all. She also has a web-site filled with information. Gotta go write now!!
August 17, 2020
This book is funny, wise, and practical. I absolutely loved it.
April 13, 2025
Highly recommend for every writer!
January 23, 2014
I found this book to be one of the most helpful volumes on the craft of writing nonfiction that I have come across. While it concentrates on memoir, Ms. Smith's advice and suggestions are transferable to almost any type of creative nonfiction. I'll bet fiction writers can find some food for thought and tools for writing improvement here, as well. I'd recommend this highly for anyone interested in writing nonfiction, and even more highly for aspiring memoirists. Don't borrow it. Buy it. You'll probably return to it again and again, as I plan to do. I finished it today but plan to review the parts I underlined several times as I plow may way through the my own first (what Smith calls "vomit") draft.
The author pooh-poohs writing exercises. On this point, I disagree with her. Although they can be excuses for keeping writers from their actual manuscripts and can provide a way for us to resist the hard work of actually DOING the writing we say we want to do, exercises can be a way for those of us who are rusty to flex our writing muscles and get warmed up again. Many exercises have helped me keep writing when "blocked" and also have been a way to practice fluency, much as finger exercises help strengthen the skills of a pianist. But her negative view of exercises frees her to write a book that leans on suggestions for doing the work required of the actual manuscript itself, and that is a refreshing change from many "how-to" books I've read.
Definitely a keeper. I've even recommended it to my writing coach as well as my writing group.
The author pooh-poohs writing exercises. On this point, I disagree with her. Although they can be excuses for keeping writers from their actual manuscripts and can provide a way for us to resist the hard work of actually DOING the writing we say we want to do, exercises can be a way for those of us who are rusty to flex our writing muscles and get warmed up again. Many exercises have helped me keep writing when "blocked" and also have been a way to practice fluency, much as finger exercises help strengthen the skills of a pianist. But her negative view of exercises frees her to write a book that leans on suggestions for doing the work required of the actual manuscript itself, and that is a refreshing change from many "how-to" books I've read.
Definitely a keeper. I've even recommended it to my writing coach as well as my writing group.
March 23, 2018
I can't believe how amazing this book was. I seriously went into it with curiosity and low expectations. Why? Because there are so many bad books on writing out in the world. But why read this one? Probably due to the marvel that is cookies and advertising. It caught my eye somewhere, maybe it was in a blog post, or maybe it was a behavioral ad on some website somewhere. I bought the book and there it sat on my Kindle app. Sitting on my couch thinking to myself, "I'm between books, why not try something light, like, just the first few paragraphs of this little book on writing." Not kidding, I have those kinds of discussions in my head. Or with my son, even the cat isn't spared. What hit me first was some of the most beautiful writing I have ever seen. Crafted and arranged so well, the words never let me go. So, now I'm reading this on the writing alone. When I'm suddenly hit by the content and intent of the words. Right up there with Bird-by-Bird, another favorite book on writing. The formulaic (not really all that formulaic) way of boiling down the essence of what one is really writing about, that is such a golden key to carry with me for the rest of my life. Then the highlighting happened. I'm finished with the book and I'm pissed, it's over. I have to get over myself and go try the advice, gladly. Want to read great writing, read this, it makes zero difference if you want to write. If you want to write well, add this to your must-read list. Want to write memoir's, then this better be at the top of the list. Enjoy!
August 19, 2013
I love memoirs when they're done well. They are so seldom done well. I think the reason for that is summed up by Smith when she says "...I'm really interested in someone's sniveling only if it somehow elevates my own." Exactly. When I read I want to read something that matters to me regardless of my lack of real-life connection to the author. My own writing sometimes gets frozen because I'm afraid I can't reach across that divide. This short book offers the tools to get past that and other hurdles of writing. Well worth the read.
June 25, 2015
Best book on writing creative non-ficttion that I've read.
September 22, 2022
This book was one of my assigned read in the Creative Writing professional certificate part of my grad school studies. Roach Smith's anecdotes and suggestions for embarking on the emotional journey of writing one's memoir (or memoirs) are practical and easy to apply. She was effective at creating a connection to her own amusing memories, which stimulated in me the recollection of several concrete memories that I am using in my writings. I'm deducting a star because she missed the important element of diversity. For example, I would have loved to see a chapter addressing productive memoir writing tips for non-native-English speakers like me. We tend to evoke memories in our native tongues, especially when we grew up abroad. How to show details of a memory in a second language with the same power and emotion we would describe it in our mother tongues? Some details simply do not translate into English, so they have to remain in the native language. Other than this glitch, The Memoir Project was a favorite read.
September 19, 2025
Memoir is not autobiography, and writing a memoir is apparently the number one thing Baby Boomers now want to to do. Two things that this book will tell you. But more than that, it will concisely but expertly guide the aspiring memoir writer in understanding the importance of perspective, point of view and technique to find and present something that is worthy of the name.
Plenty of excellent advice in this book, and some great discussion.
Plenty of excellent advice in this book, and some great discussion.
December 24, 2022
A small book with a punch that took me around a year to read because every time I'd pick it up, it prompted me to write/try something Marion was talking about.
I even disagree with a lot of what she says at the beginning but don't mind at all-- just another reminder that writers ultimately need to find their own way and that it looks different for us all.
I even disagree with a lot of what she says at the beginning but don't mind at all-- just another reminder that writers ultimately need to find their own way and that it looks different for us all.
October 9, 2024
In this slim volume, Smith has loosely assembled notes from the highly successful writing workshops that she’s taught for years, plus several short pieces of her own writing as examples. Helpful tips include the algorithm, the vomit draft, and the perfect murder. A selected bibliography would have been a welcome addition to guide further study and provide more exemplary works that illustrate Smith’s points.
January 4, 2025
A ton of deep wisdom in here, presented plainly, with lots of good--and appropriate to the theme--anecdotes included. Plus, Marion and I grew up in the same borough, know some of the same people...it was like discovering a long-lost acquaintance!
October 31, 2019
Marion gave good examples of her writing and taught the lessons throughout the book with her examples. I got a lot out of the book and could go back to read it over and get more. Short and sweet.
March 10, 2021
I will read this little text many times over again, I suspect. Great little nuggets and ideas in here.
December 27, 2024
This book is really good and has some great writing tips that I will definitely use. If you’re in the fence it’s worth a read and it’s quick and to the point. 4.3 stars
September 27, 2025
Read this in one sitting this afternoon. Will start re-reading it again tomorrow, as I execute the steps. Definitely the best book on memoir that I have read, and the one that will guide me into finishing my project.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 268 reviews