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8 Habits of Love: Open Your Heart, Open Your Mind

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A spiritual guidebook to living life through love and connection, not fear and isolation, by a respected pastor and a frequent guest on Oprah's Soul Series.

Reverend Bacon believes that every person can live a full and creative life if they can learn to move through troubling emotions such as fear, anger, and sadness to find the beloved within themselves. Readers will learn how insecurity can keep us from connecting with others, our loving self, and finding our own peace, joy, and creative power. 8 Habits of Love will show, through relatable stories, how to create a full, meaningful life by developing simple habits-stillness, truth, forgiveness, compassion, play, candor, generosity, and community-and by asking such important questions as: How do I know I'm living the life I should be? How do I forgive those who have hurt me? How do I talk candidly with difficult people? How do I best help others when they need it? And How do I let go of the past and move forward?

240 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2012

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Ed Bacon

5 books6 followers

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5 stars
101 (39%)
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88 (34%)
3 stars
53 (20%)
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12 (4%)
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3 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
Profile Image for Jackie.
231 reviews5 followers
September 5, 2023
Rev. Ed Bacon takes us on his personal journey to life that starts overcoming fear to become our best selves and our happiest selves. This book is a simple, refreshing, loving and compelling outline for how to remain a loving spirit. I loved the 8 habits/categories (play, forgiveness, stillness, truth, candor, compassion, community and generosity) that Ed explains in great detail with specific examples for each habit. This book is a great lesson on love. LOVE ♥️is the answer! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Profile Image for Josh.
1,005 reviews19 followers
October 13, 2013
Is love a kind of elusive, nebulous thing, into which one can either fall into or out of-- or is it a verb, a series of choices and actions one can make or not make with each day, in every personal interaction? My conviction is that it is the latter, which begs the question: Practically speaking, how does one love? There is a great manual on just this subject, waiting to be written-- but Bacon's book I don't think is it.

This is not to say that the book is lacking in value. Each of the eight chapters provides some actionable insights that are challenging and at times quite moving. However, in crouching his book more in the realm of self-help than theology, many of the details of this book are a little fuzzy. It doesn't help that so much of what Bacon writes it glibly dismissive of Christian orthodoxy (indeed, he is upfront in saying that he thinks much so-called orthodoxy is a result of a "herd mentality, which is not necessarily wrong). He casts aside notions of original sin and human depravity, for instance, and also rejects the concept of truth as something austere and absolute. Discussing the problems that surface is, I think, beyond the scope of a Goodreads review.

That said, the book can frustrate-- when it veers into nebulous theology and psychoanalysis, in particular. For its core contention of love as something real, practical, and actionable, though, I applaud it, and I do plan on putting some of its points into action in my own life.
Profile Image for Stella.
430 reviews81 followers
January 19, 2013
I read this for my book club and as such, it is not necessarily the type of book I would choose myself. (I do read a lot of 'self-help' type books but I steer clear of any books with religious undertones, unless I am reading a theological book)

This was an ok book and many real life stories were quite interesting, but it didn't change my life or anything. It was just nice.

Divided into 8 chapters it teaches you how and why to practice the following 8 habits: generosity, stillness, truth, play, forgiveness, compassion and community.
All of the above are definitely something to ponder over and practice.

There was just 'too much love' in it for my taste.


Profile Image for Nancy.
276 reviews
March 30, 2013
The eight habits of love, according to Ed Bacon, are generosity, stillness, truth, candor, play, forgiveness, compassion and community. All of these are very worthy goals and areas that anyone could pay more attention to. This self-help book is presented in the most open spirit of acceptance and love.
Profile Image for Kellie.
380 reviews18 followers
April 22, 2015
Lots of food for thought and concrete actions to take to develop the eight habits, and all of it very accessible. I like the variety of cultural and spiritual references, and all the anecdotes make it easy to relate the ideas to my own life. I definitely want to visit his church, too.
2 reviews1 follower
November 5, 2012
Great read! Gave me new insights and things to consider as I honor myself and others.
Profile Image for Rose Peterson.
309 reviews18 followers
April 28, 2020
My coteacher got me this book for Christmas, promising that even though it sounds hippie-ish, it's a book he returns to over and over again to ground himself in the toxic environment in which we work. He was right on both counts--that it verged on hippie-ish AND that it is grounding.

While this isn't a book I would typically pick up on my own, I realize that is a good thing; I don't want to be trapped in an echo chamber of the same genres and messages, and this pushed me outside my comfort zone. There was some overlap with what I've already read about restorative practices, which was a good refresher. It was hard for me to totally shut my skeptical brain off (How did he arrive at these particular 8? Is he missing any? What if...?) but overall, this book compelled me to become more generous and more playful, to infuse my life with more compassion, to root myself in candor.

I think from here on out, we will adopt the language of basing our decisions and actions in love instead of fear in Room 210A, and I know our kids will be the better because of it.
Profile Image for Deborah Martinez.
648 reviews
August 22, 2021
I don't usually like self help or spiritual guidebooks, but this one was well written. Although I did not agree with everything Rev. Bacon said, so much of it hit home for me, especially coming off the pandemic.

The eight habits of love according to Bacon are:

1. The habit of generosity
2. The habit if stillness
3. The habit of truth
4. The habit of candor
5. The habit of play
6. The habit of forgiveness (this is the hardest one for me personally)
7. The habit of compassion
8. The habit of community

This quote stuck out to me on compassion: "compassion means bringing a person or group whom we disagree with or who have done us wrong back into the fold of loving humanity. It challenges us to continually look beyond ourselves and extend love to all members of the human family, regardless of what they may have done in the past."
Profile Image for Jessie Cummins.
86 reviews2 followers
February 19, 2021
Reading this book with a group of people from the church through an insurrection, inauguration, and pandemic was excellent. Grounding ourselves in sharing stories and accountability of practicing these a chapter by week around the. different aspects of love was a refreshing Zoom call I looked forward to every week.
Profile Image for Agnes Fells.
148 reviews
November 18, 2023
Rev. Ed Bacon concerned and loving heart fills this book with wisdom and practical holiness. He has reinforced my thoughts on the hows of loving. Living the habits of loving is something we should all strive for
33 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2024
religious but not overly so, certain habits (Candor, Compassion etc) hiiiitttt while others seem a bit too intuitive to read about in a book?

either way will learn to practice Stillness and Candor where I go now 😇
2 reviews
January 5, 2019
Fantastic for growing yourself and your relationships
Profile Image for Hillary roberts.
247 reviews13 followers
April 2, 2016
My Review: I have often promoted love over fighting. The question I had was what is love and how can we show it? Is there a specific set of actions that show love rather than hatred? When I saw this book in the library I hoped that it would answer some of my questions.

The most valuable thing that I learned from this book was that actions that sow hatred was often based on fear. Before when I encountered someone who I felt was acting in an ignorant way I would respond with the same actions myself. Give them a taste of their own medicine I thought, That will teach them. As this book explains most people dont set out to sow hatred but rather they don't know any better. I thought about this and realized it was true. And I realized that if I wanted to make a difference then I would have to put aside any notion of teaching them a lesson and respond with love. Love is the only thing that will change people.

This book gives concrete ways that one can show love to everybody. It is not easy but as Gandhi said,we must be the change we wish to see in the world. I will take this and the book to heart and try to implement love wherever I go.This review was originally posted on Adventures in Never Never Land
Profile Image for The Lifelong Reader.
104 reviews8 followers
December 30, 2014
This book was a quick, easy read that I found delightful. Since my adolescence I have been a seeker of the "best way", always looking for the best in people I surround myself with and the person I see in the mirror each day. I'm a firm believer that when you know better, you do better, especially in human relationships. I enjoy gathering tidbits from people I have met to use in my own life and I found Rev. Bacon to be anything but disappointing. I don't consider this text a self help book as others' reviews have described it to be, but a short book to remind us who we are at our core. Its also a reminder that we are surrounded by others, some who may have done us wrong that initially we want to despise. There are others still who are easy to love but easy or hard to love, these members of my human family are the same at their core as I am, whether I can initially see them as a valued child of God or not. Basic principles are covered from the Golden Rule, just expounded upon and reworded by the author alongside helpful hints to maintain your center and finding your stillness in difficult times. It's a very quick read, worth the afternoon you will spend with it and who doesn't need to be reminded of the light and love inside of us all from time to time? I will refer back to this text time and again.
Profile Image for Nicholas George.
Author 2 books68 followers
March 24, 2014
I have long admired Ed Bacon, the rector of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, where I live. His church is refreshingly non-dogmatic and inclusive, and Ed's sermons often condemn the narrow-mindedness that other religious institutions seem to propagate. So I was pleased to receive his book as a gift, looking forward to more of his philosophy of love and acceptance. Well, that's here, but unfortunately the whole thing reeks too much of a calculated, commercial product of the spiritual self-help variety. It's not that I quarrel with Ed's "eight habits" (they are perfectly valid and sensible), or his use of many anecdotes and case histories (some of which stretch to make the point he's seeking). It just all comes across as a rather tired retread of so many similar books, and doesn't fully reflect the passion and special character I find in his sermons. I suspect he may have fallen victim to an overzealous editor or adviser; regardless, I hope his next book is more aligned with what truly makes him unique.
Profile Image for Maxine.
46 reviews
May 25, 2016
Read this book with MMP years ago & reread it with StJUMC group this year. Compact introduction to spiritual insights which are new to most folks. Focusing on 8 habits makes this easy to digest. Loved the fact that there are practices with each habit. We found plenty of fodder for discussion with this book!
Profile Image for Emma.
46 reviews
July 9, 2013
Gentle anecdotal advice and guidance for better living, written mainly from a Christian perspective but I think would speak to pretty much anyone who wanted to listen - the chapter on the Habit of Community is especially moving.
Profile Image for Ife.
5 reviews
May 26, 2016
This book is very interesting, with many examples from the authors life that give the reader the opportunity to draw parallels, to recognize areas, were the reader can experience, ah ha moments as you are reading.
7 reviews
February 12, 2016
This book was surprisingly helpful and interesting. The author is a pastor but not too preachy. A lot of the concepts and ideas that are life changing when applied. And he presents them in ways that allow you to imagine applying them.
Profile Image for Christine.
129 reviews4 followers
March 28, 2016
I read this book through Lent. I appreciated how this book was written. Many of the ideas and concepts are not new, but the presentation is thought provoking and pushed/pulled in areas that were important for me to spend time with and contemplate.
Profile Image for Jennifer Hupp.
90 reviews
December 16, 2012
Some great insight on how to be your true self and an overall better person and friend to others. Just what I needed to give me back some faith in the goodness of the human spirit
Profile Image for Terry Hogue.
2 reviews
April 20, 2013


I lov this mans clear and concise way of painting a picture with words and ideas that are human and emotional with such truthful clarity. He is my favorite lecturer and feel- good author .
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews

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