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Mennonite #2
Does This Church Make Me Look Fat?: A Mennonite Finds Faith, Meets Mr. Right, and Solves Her Lady Problems
What does it mean to give church a try when you haven't really tried since you were twelve? At the end of her bestselling memoir Mennonite in a Little Black Dress , Rhoda Janzen had reconnected with her family and her roots, though her future felt uncertain. But when she starts dating a churchgoer, this skeptic begins a surprising journey to faith and love.
Rhoda doesn't slide back into the dignified simplicity of the Mennonite church. Instead she finds herself hanging with the Pentecostals, who really know how to get down with sparkler pom-poms. Amid the hand waving and hallelujahs Rhoda finds a faith richly practical for life -- just in time for some impressive lady problems, an unexpected romance, and a quirky new family.
Does This Church Make Me Look Fat? is for people who have a problem with organized religion, but can't quite dismiss the notion of God, and for those who secretly sing hymns in their cars, but prefer a nice mimosa brunch to church. This is the story of what it means to find joy in love, comfort in prayer, and -- incredibly, surprisingly -- faith in a big-hearted God.
Rhoda doesn't slide back into the dignified simplicity of the Mennonite church. Instead she finds herself hanging with the Pentecostals, who really know how to get down with sparkler pom-poms. Amid the hand waving and hallelujahs Rhoda finds a faith richly practical for life -- just in time for some impressive lady problems, an unexpected romance, and a quirky new family.
Does This Church Make Me Look Fat? is for people who have a problem with organized religion, but can't quite dismiss the notion of God, and for those who secretly sing hymns in their cars, but prefer a nice mimosa brunch to church. This is the story of what it means to find joy in love, comfort in prayer, and -- incredibly, surprisingly -- faith in a big-hearted God.
257 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
52 people are currently reading
2154 people want to read
About the author
Rhoda Janzen
11 books145 followersRhoda Janzen is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and the poetry collection Babel’s Stair. She teaches English and creative writing at Hope College in Holland, Michigan.
Rhoda Janzen holds a PhD from the University of California, Los Angeles, where she was the University of California Poet Laureate in 1994 and 1997. She is the author of Babel's Stair, a collection of poems, and her poems have also appeared in Poetry, The Yale Review, The Gettysburg Review, and The Southern Review.
http://rhodajanzen.com/bio/
http://us.macmillan.com/author/rhodaj...
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May 10, 2016
A pet hate of mine is misnamed books. By the time the book starts the author has been going out with the roughneck so-called Mr. Right for four months. That is hardly 'meets'.
I can't stand the author. I couldn't stand her in her last book, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home although I gave it 4 stars because it was such a brilliantly nasty destruction of her out-of-the-closet ex-husband disguised as her recovering from said marriage and a bad car accident. It was highly amusing.
In this book she has chosen as her eternal paramour a bald, tattooed, gun-loving (failing a gun, he'll stomp a creature's head in gleefully) totally uneducated character whose previous life including prison for a variety of crimes. His saving grace is that he is a born-again Christian member of a charismatic, speaking-in-tongues absolutely Fundamentalist church. He doesn't believe in questioning or interpreting the bible and so as far as he is concerned hell is a place you burn, for millions of years, if you've been naughty or whatever. Hunting, crushing chipmunks heads in and shooting to kill intruders (rather than injuring them as the author requests) are not sins in his world. Is this what Americans call 'Redneck'?
So why is she with him? Hormones of course. Although he doesn't believe in sex before marriage. He did though, for quite a while so she knows what he's like in bed. So her hormones are in a continual state of anticipation and that always helps. Because of this attraction she spends the three-quarters of the book I've read justifying how wonderful their relationship is. How fantastic it is to be with someone who just believes and doesn't bother using intelligence or critical thinking to analyse anything, just accepts. This man can do no wrong. He's perfect in every way except that his sense of home decoration is too yahoo for her, and pink flamingoes and pebbledash wallpaper really have to go (he doesn't see why but this is a step too far for her).
Don't let your friends or readers see what a total yahoo your guy is, go on about his "native intelligence", his kindness, his empathy, how good he is at physical activies, his anyvirtuebutintellectual. Been there. Done that. Married the sex god and got friendship elsewhere. You secretly know you're playing in the sandpit and you want to head off all knowledge and criticism of that by defending your relationship.
The other thing that is annoying me is her very mendacious idea of tithing. She has this firm belief and quotes scripture that for everything she gives God will make sure she gets at least the amount she gave, if not more. She starts tithing worried that she won't be able to make ends meet. But yes, it's true God gives money back to people who give money to his church. So it's a good business investment. 10% every month and the odd thousand or more will appear in your mailbox as and when you need it. All fall down and start praising in tongues now! OMG I'm so cynical. Beat me, beat me hard with a feather duster and cuss me in tongues until I see the error of my ways.
Rhoda Janzen has a PhD, is a professional poet and ought to be a good writer. To me, although she describes situations succinctly her books totally lack emotion. I ought to feel something when she is stricken with cancer surely? And when she goes through all the awful treatments and is denied even sex (for God and chemotherapy) from Mr. Right? But I don't. The emotion is just not there and that's probably why I don't like her. There aren't many authors I would turn down for having a fancy lunch with, but she's one. She'd talk non-stop and it would be about herself.
The book is annoying me so much. It is down to second-lowest reading position (bathroom), the only place it has to sink to after this is glove compartment! I hope to finish it before it descends to that level.
Update I did finish it. The book wasn't that bad, the author though....
I can't stand the author. I couldn't stand her in her last book, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home although I gave it 4 stars because it was such a brilliantly nasty destruction of her out-of-the-closet ex-husband disguised as her recovering from said marriage and a bad car accident. It was highly amusing.
In this book she has chosen as her eternal paramour a bald, tattooed, gun-loving (failing a gun, he'll stomp a creature's head in gleefully) totally uneducated character whose previous life including prison for a variety of crimes. His saving grace is that he is a born-again Christian member of a charismatic, speaking-in-tongues absolutely Fundamentalist church. He doesn't believe in questioning or interpreting the bible and so as far as he is concerned hell is a place you burn, for millions of years, if you've been naughty or whatever. Hunting, crushing chipmunks heads in and shooting to kill intruders (rather than injuring them as the author requests) are not sins in his world. Is this what Americans call 'Redneck'?
So why is she with him? Hormones of course. Although he doesn't believe in sex before marriage. He did though, for quite a while so she knows what he's like in bed. So her hormones are in a continual state of anticipation and that always helps. Because of this attraction she spends the three-quarters of the book I've read justifying how wonderful their relationship is. How fantastic it is to be with someone who just believes and doesn't bother using intelligence or critical thinking to analyse anything, just accepts. This man can do no wrong. He's perfect in every way except that his sense of home decoration is too yahoo for her, and pink flamingoes and pebbledash wallpaper really have to go (he doesn't see why but this is a step too far for her).
Don't let your friends or readers see what a total yahoo your guy is, go on about his "native intelligence", his kindness, his empathy, how good he is at physical activies, his anyvirtuebutintellectual. Been there. Done that. Married the sex god and got friendship elsewhere. You secretly know you're playing in the sandpit and you want to head off all knowledge and criticism of that by defending your relationship.
The other thing that is annoying me is her very mendacious idea of tithing. She has this firm belief and quotes scripture that for everything she gives God will make sure she gets at least the amount she gave, if not more. She starts tithing worried that she won't be able to make ends meet. But yes, it's true God gives money back to people who give money to his church. So it's a good business investment. 10% every month and the odd thousand or more will appear in your mailbox as and when you need it. All fall down and start praising in tongues now! OMG I'm so cynical. Beat me, beat me hard with a feather duster and cuss me in tongues until I see the error of my ways.
Rhoda Janzen has a PhD, is a professional poet and ought to be a good writer. To me, although she describes situations succinctly her books totally lack emotion. I ought to feel something when she is stricken with cancer surely? And when she goes through all the awful treatments and is denied even sex (for God and chemotherapy) from Mr. Right? But I don't. The emotion is just not there and that's probably why I don't like her. There aren't many authors I would turn down for having a fancy lunch with, but she's one. She'd talk non-stop and it would be about herself.
The book is annoying me so much. It is down to second-lowest reading position (bathroom), the only place it has to sink to after this is glove compartment! I hope to finish it before it descends to that level.
Update I did finish it. The book wasn't that bad, the author though....
June 1, 2012
I don't think I would have finished this, were it not for how quick of a read it is. It is unfortunate, because I really enjoyed Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, but there is an important difference between that book and this one. In Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, Rhoda Janzen was laughing - at her upbringing, at her family, at herself. Almost like she was laughing because some of it was tragic, and that's just what you do, but still, I laughed too.
In this book, as she chronicles her journey toward becoming a Pentecostal, marrying her opposite, and being diagnosed with cancer, she seems to cease to see the humor in anything. Instead, it reads like a religious testimony, and uncomfortably so. There is even an entire chapter on the "blessing of tithing." No, really. Prepare for sermons. I stared feeling wary about the book about halfway through.
Don't believe the title. This isn't a light or funny read. And she never really explains if her lady problems are solved (and that was the only part I connected to in the entire book!). I feel for her, as it is clear her life has not been easy, but the tone of this is not humorous in the least.
In this book, as she chronicles her journey toward becoming a Pentecostal, marrying her opposite, and being diagnosed with cancer, she seems to cease to see the humor in anything. Instead, it reads like a religious testimony, and uncomfortably so. There is even an entire chapter on the "blessing of tithing." No, really. Prepare for sermons. I stared feeling wary about the book about halfway through.
Don't believe the title. This isn't a light or funny read. And she never really explains if her lady problems are solved (and that was the only part I connected to in the entire book!). I feel for her, as it is clear her life has not been easy, but the tone of this is not humorous in the least.
June 11, 2012
I did not care for this book. As a poet, Janzen's use of language is very skilful, but her ability to tell a story is sketchy--she does a lot of digressing into anecdotes that were not relevant to the story or particularly amusing. Her way of explaining her faith is very strange--she starts the book out converted, while she ended her previous memoir as an agnostic. So there's no conversion story here. There's LOTS that comes across as condescending and/or racist, with the strong sense that admitting her life is a mess gives her the right to say whatever she wants about anyone else.
In sum, I really disliked the narrator, found the narrative to be poorly structured and the humor unfunny, and felt that the spiritual parts of the story were very much couched in the rhetorical language of the church and so not particularly informative for me. Did not enjoy or learn much from this book.
In sum, I really disliked the narrator, found the narrative to be poorly structured and the humor unfunny, and felt that the spiritual parts of the story were very much couched in the rhetorical language of the church and so not particularly informative for me. Did not enjoy or learn much from this book.
November 21, 2012
A spiritual journey from Mennonite (preacher's daughter) to humanist (scholar with PhD) to Pentecostal (with a bit of skepticism). An unlikely journey but nevertheless that's what this book is about. The switch to Pentecostalism coincided with a new romantic relationship and a bout with cancer. The author admits her spiritual transformation was sufficiently bizarre to cause her friends to ask, "Has the cancer affected your frontal lobe?" The cancer probably did concentrate her mind while she pondered her mortality. But it didn't hinder her ability to write creatively about her experiences in an upbeat humorous style while scattering little vignettes of spiritual insight.
"Like most people when they first approach God, all I wanted was help. I was hoping that God would swoop in and do the work for me. He didn't do that. But he did show me how to do the work myself. … I had spent a lifetime blaming other people for my own stuff. The sheer force of this revelation took my breath away. It changed everything. All of a sudden I saw that holding a grudge was a way to avoid confronting my own stuff. And so for the last two years the idea of prayer had been slowly gathering heft. At the time of my diagnosis I saw faith in God not as belief in a real external entity but as a useful cause and effect strategy for managing heartbreak, anxiety and blame."Comments such as the above show surprising maturity. I'm surprised because the author didn't have this kind of sober self evaluation in her first book, “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress .” The author's writing style is entertaining to read, even when she's describing the most mundane subjects. I'm convinced she could maintain the reader's interest even when describing paint drying.
We may be witnessing the development of a new subgenre of Mennonite memoir. First there was Rhoda Janzen’s first book, “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress ” which made it to #1 on the NY Times bestseller list. Then came Rhonda Langley's reply in the form of her book, “ Mennonite in Blue Jeans: a Lenten Journey ” which didn’t make it to the NY Times list, but was more popular with most Mennonites because the author had remained within the Mennonite community. Now Rhoda Janzen’s second book (the subject of this review) is published telling of her current situation. I've just learned that Rhonda Langley has also published a second memoir, titled The Year of 42, that also updates happenings in the life of her and her family. Link to Rhonda's blog
What’s coming next? I’ve been following Shirley Showalter’s blog for several years. (She’s former president of Goshen College.) She has written her memoir, handed it into the publisher and it’s scheduled to be published in September, 2013. I’m looking forward to reading it.
December 24, 2012
I read Mennonite in a Little Black Dress and chuckled my way through it, with some familiarity, although Janzen's Mennonite experience does not mirror my own.
(To wit, she was actually raised Mennonite Brethren, a separate denomination; most modern American Mennos don't grow up speaking German; I was not forced to eat beets growing up. That said, my grandmother was raised Russian MB.)
I picked this book up expecting similar musings, sped through it in an evening, and came away quite surprised.
Janzen mentions her breast cancer almost as an afterthought. She becomes Pentecostal practically without blinking an eye. Or at least, that's how these things read -- I expect that there was a lot more struggle in reality, but it doesn't come through. All the heartache of the first book is gone (or am I mis-remembering?). It seems to be an edited voice, cultivated to appear funnier and breezier and more miraculous, less thoughtful.
And it's a lot more religion-focused than MIALBD (oddly enough), to the point where it feels a bit preachy at points. Solve your money problems! Cure cancer! It's all so easy!
I finished the book not quite sure of what I had just read... and I'm still not. It was enjoyable, but it didn't quite feel honest.
(To wit, she was actually raised Mennonite Brethren, a separate denomination; most modern American Mennos don't grow up speaking German; I was not forced to eat beets growing up. That said, my grandmother was raised Russian MB.)
I picked this book up expecting similar musings, sped through it in an evening, and came away quite surprised.
Janzen mentions her breast cancer almost as an afterthought. She becomes Pentecostal practically without blinking an eye. Or at least, that's how these things read -- I expect that there was a lot more struggle in reality, but it doesn't come through. All the heartache of the first book is gone (or am I mis-remembering?). It seems to be an edited voice, cultivated to appear funnier and breezier and more miraculous, less thoughtful.
And it's a lot more religion-focused than MIALBD (oddly enough), to the point where it feels a bit preachy at points. Solve your money problems! Cure cancer! It's all so easy!
I finished the book not quite sure of what I had just read... and I'm still not. It was enjoyable, but it didn't quite feel honest.
March 4, 2018
Quick read, with a snarky tone. I enjoyed it, except for very close to the end.
WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY TRIGGER!!!
The husband basically curb-stomped a chipmunk the cat had brought into the house. The poor chipmunk was dazed from being the cat's toy, the husband had just entered the house, and he quickly covered it with his sweatshirt and STOMPED ON IT'S HEAD with his huge work boots on!!! SERIOUSLY DUDE?!? You were RIGHT BY the FRONT DOOR. Grab it with your hoodie and TOSS IT OUT THE DOOR!! And you call yourself a Christian?!? Where does it say in the Bible that if a small rodent is introduced into your home, rather than humanely get it out, you just say, "Eff it! Those things are a pain to get out once they get in!" and re-enact "STOMP!" in your house?!? What about being responsible stewards of God's creation?!?
So yeah, that right there just dropped two stars off of this book. Also, I completely HATE that title. It perpetuates the antiquated thought that women need to worry about "looking fat" and it also implies that God actually cares about what we look like at church. I'm sure as long as we are dressing with respect and are truly there for Him, God doesn't care if we look "fat".
It was an interesting book, but I really don't dig the whole joy/blase attitude towards killing. Granted, the author wasn't cool with it, but she didn't see it, he just told her about it and she's still with him, without any care or concern about his violent tendencies. I guess she is a stronger woman than me, but that would just worry the heck out of me.
The writing wasn't bad, her life was interesting enough, or she wrote about it in an interesting enough way, that I enjoyed the read. I did like it, but did that scene really need to be in there? At least she's being honest. And other than that, her husband did seem like a pretty decent guy and he was trying to be a good Christian, so I am sure that counts for something. No human is perfect and I'm not saying that I am and that he should be too. All of us are works in progress. I'm sure I do/did things that would make him use all caps and exclamation points too. 3 solid stars.
WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY TRIGGER!!!
The husband basically curb-stomped a chipmunk the cat had brought into the house. The poor chipmunk was dazed from being the cat's toy, the husband had just entered the house, and he quickly covered it with his sweatshirt and STOMPED ON IT'S HEAD with his huge work boots on!!! SERIOUSLY DUDE?!? You were RIGHT BY the FRONT DOOR. Grab it with your hoodie and TOSS IT OUT THE DOOR!! And you call yourself a Christian?!? Where does it say in the Bible that if a small rodent is introduced into your home, rather than humanely get it out, you just say, "Eff it! Those things are a pain to get out once they get in!" and re-enact "STOMP!" in your house?!? What about being responsible stewards of God's creation?!?
So yeah, that right there just dropped two stars off of this book. Also, I completely HATE that title. It perpetuates the antiquated thought that women need to worry about "looking fat" and it also implies that God actually cares about what we look like at church. I'm sure as long as we are dressing with respect and are truly there for Him, God doesn't care if we look "fat".
It was an interesting book, but I really don't dig the whole joy/blase attitude towards killing. Granted, the author wasn't cool with it, but she didn't see it, he just told her about it and she's still with him, without any care or concern about his violent tendencies. I guess she is a stronger woman than me, but that would just worry the heck out of me.
The writing wasn't bad, her life was interesting enough, or she wrote about it in an interesting enough way, that I enjoyed the read. I did like it, but did that scene really need to be in there? At least she's being honest. And other than that, her husband did seem like a pretty decent guy and he was trying to be a good Christian, so I am sure that counts for something. No human is perfect and I'm not saying that I am and that he should be too. All of us are works in progress. I'm sure I do/did things that would make him use all caps and exclamation points too. 3 solid stars.
October 8, 2012
You can find my full review here: http://mimi-cyberlibrarian.blogspot.c...
Memoirist Rhoda Janzen says, “What a relief it is that we don’t have to be good at religion in order to seek God! We don’t even have to have a strong sense of belief. All we need is the desire to believe.”
In her second memoir, Does This Church Make Me Look Fat, Janzen displays her desire to believe with marvelously funny stories about a topic that shouldn’t be funny, i.e. seriously dangerous breast cancer. Janzen is an English professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, about an hour from where I live. PhD educated at UCLA, she is an academic who abandoned her Mennonite faith as a teenager. Her first spiritual memoir, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress tells the story of the horrendous time in her life when she returned to her Mennonite roots to heal following a divorce and a lot of broken bones from a car accident. The desire to believe came back to her then and continued after she returned to her academic life.
By this time, she is open to returning to religion, or in her words, with the desire for faith. She meets a “manly man,” who is a born-again Pentecostal, and starts attending church with him. Although they are as opposite as can be (his son says that they might be from different planets), they find they are perfect for each other.
As fate would have it, shortly after she meets “Mitch,” she receives a diagnosis of breast cancer—a massive tumor in her breast. Fearing the worst, she offers to let Mitch off the hook, but he tells her that he is the right man for this challenge, and so they face the surgery, the radiation, and the chemo together. The chapter that details how she finds out about the cancer raises goose bumps, both spiritually and factually. Yet, the way in which she handles the diagnosis is nothing short of amazing. In her inner being, she seems to know that everything will be all right, and so, as the book evolves, Rhoda marries Mitch, the cancer goes into a complete remission, and Rhoda becomes a part of Mitch's faith community.
I could relate to Janzen’s cancer journey on many levels. I will never forget when my husband, who had been fighting lymphatic cancer for 6 years, came home from a doctor’s visit. He had not told me he was going, so when he came home I was fixing dinner in the kitchen. I was mixing meat loaf as I recall, and he walked in, gave me a peck on the cheek, and told me he had been to the doctor. “The doctor says it’s really bad this time,” he said, and I kept making the meatloaf. Rhoda received her diagnosis over the telephone while she was counseling a student. She finished the session with the student and then went off to teach a two hour class. Sometimes doing common things helps soften the blow.
Janzen really doesn’t linger on the cancer. Most of Does This Church… is a love story and a narrative concerning the nature of faith and its reappearance in her life. It is the story of affirming the present, seizing upon the opportunities that life offers, and restoring the rightful place of faith in God in life. Although her spiritual journey is different from mine, I grew as I read about her journey and about the gracious God that guides her.
Besides all that, like Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, this book is laugh-out-loud funny. When life becomes absurd, you can either bemoan the hand you have been dealt, or you can laugh at the irony of it all. Personally, I love Janzen’s humor, her outlook on life, and the affirming way her husband, friends and family love and support her quirky take on it all.
Memoirist Rhoda Janzen says, “What a relief it is that we don’t have to be good at religion in order to seek God! We don’t even have to have a strong sense of belief. All we need is the desire to believe.”
In her second memoir, Does This Church Make Me Look Fat, Janzen displays her desire to believe with marvelously funny stories about a topic that shouldn’t be funny, i.e. seriously dangerous breast cancer. Janzen is an English professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, about an hour from where I live. PhD educated at UCLA, she is an academic who abandoned her Mennonite faith as a teenager. Her first spiritual memoir, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress tells the story of the horrendous time in her life when she returned to her Mennonite roots to heal following a divorce and a lot of broken bones from a car accident. The desire to believe came back to her then and continued after she returned to her academic life.
By this time, she is open to returning to religion, or in her words, with the desire for faith. She meets a “manly man,” who is a born-again Pentecostal, and starts attending church with him. Although they are as opposite as can be (his son says that they might be from different planets), they find they are perfect for each other.
As fate would have it, shortly after she meets “Mitch,” she receives a diagnosis of breast cancer—a massive tumor in her breast. Fearing the worst, she offers to let Mitch off the hook, but he tells her that he is the right man for this challenge, and so they face the surgery, the radiation, and the chemo together. The chapter that details how she finds out about the cancer raises goose bumps, both spiritually and factually. Yet, the way in which she handles the diagnosis is nothing short of amazing. In her inner being, she seems to know that everything will be all right, and so, as the book evolves, Rhoda marries Mitch, the cancer goes into a complete remission, and Rhoda becomes a part of Mitch's faith community.
I could relate to Janzen’s cancer journey on many levels. I will never forget when my husband, who had been fighting lymphatic cancer for 6 years, came home from a doctor’s visit. He had not told me he was going, so when he came home I was fixing dinner in the kitchen. I was mixing meat loaf as I recall, and he walked in, gave me a peck on the cheek, and told me he had been to the doctor. “The doctor says it’s really bad this time,” he said, and I kept making the meatloaf. Rhoda received her diagnosis over the telephone while she was counseling a student. She finished the session with the student and then went off to teach a two hour class. Sometimes doing common things helps soften the blow.
Janzen really doesn’t linger on the cancer. Most of Does This Church… is a love story and a narrative concerning the nature of faith and its reappearance in her life. It is the story of affirming the present, seizing upon the opportunities that life offers, and restoring the rightful place of faith in God in life. Although her spiritual journey is different from mine, I grew as I read about her journey and about the gracious God that guides her.
Besides all that, like Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, this book is laugh-out-loud funny. When life becomes absurd, you can either bemoan the hand you have been dealt, or you can laugh at the irony of it all. Personally, I love Janzen’s humor, her outlook on life, and the affirming way her husband, friends and family love and support her quirky take on it all.
November 22, 2013
So, here's the thing about Pentecostals: They fascinate and confuse me. Because we believe basically the same stuff, but we go about it differently. For instance, it never occurs to me to rebuke stuff when I'm praying. But I love hanging out with them, because they are always looking to see and hear God in their everyday lives. And they do. And so those encounters make me think, "Well, why not?"
Rhoda Janzen has become a Pentecostal, and so her outlook and approach to life has changed quite a bit from her first book to her second. In Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, she's a skeptical/indifferent semi-believer. In this book, she's gone to "I decided to tithe, and voila, there was a check in the mail." This might give some readers whiplash.
For me, my reaction was more like the reaction I have to my Pentecostal friends. "Well, why not?" And this book reminded me a lot of Anne Lamott's essay collections: self-deprecating humor, entertaining anecdotes, and spiritual lessons to be learned.
So maybe not quite as funny as her first book, but still definitely worth reading.
Rhoda Janzen has become a Pentecostal, and so her outlook and approach to life has changed quite a bit from her first book to her second. In Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, she's a skeptical/indifferent semi-believer. In this book, she's gone to "I decided to tithe, and voila, there was a check in the mail." This might give some readers whiplash.
For me, my reaction was more like the reaction I have to my Pentecostal friends. "Well, why not?" And this book reminded me a lot of Anne Lamott's essay collections: self-deprecating humor, entertaining anecdotes, and spiritual lessons to be learned.
So maybe not quite as funny as her first book, but still definitely worth reading.
December 10, 2012
I had such high hopes for this book. When I saw that Ms. Janzen was writing another book, I put it onto my wish list as soon as it was listed on Amazon. I really enjoyed Mennonite In A Little Black Dress. Even for the high Kindle book price, I decided to splurge on this book. I didn't realize when I bought it that it was Ms. Janzen's journey back to religion. I started reading and from the first bit I got the impression the book was about her journey through cancer. There were lots of tangents, but as you get further through the book the story about cancer sort-of drops out and it's only about religion. Specifically, her experience meeting and marrying a Pentecostal and her conversion too. It felt like there were so many loose ends in the book. I liked her writing style and stories but at the end of each story, she'd switch over to talk about something else and I was left wondering if there was a conclusion. I don't know that I'd say the book was actually preachy, but there was a lot of Bible talk. It felt like lots of time was taken explaining the point of things like tithing or spiritual gifts but the language used was for someone who already agrees with the underlying narrative that God's Authority is right because it's God. I was disturbed by how easily Ms. Janzen was able to push aside issues (that she says she feels very strongly about) such as lack of female leadership in churches. I also felt let down about her monologue on the joys of a "Christian Marriage". It really felt like she was saying marriages fall apart because the people in them are not Christian enough to "seek God in their marriage" - like it's just random chance if non-Christian people have a good marriage because the only truly great ones are Christian marriages. Overall, I was left feeling rather down after reading this book. From her perspective, I'm sure this is a happy story but from my perspective it was a story of an independent woman who got a cancer diagnosis then turned into a woman who set aside everything she believed in to throw herself into her boyfriend/husband's church and all the beliefs it entailed. Let me be clear that I'm not saying this impression is what her life is now, it's just what I was left feeling after reading this book. I'll keep an eye on this author because I do like her writing style and I enjoy her stories. I'll probably even read Mennonite In A Little Black Dress again sometime. But I don't think I'll pick up this book again.
March 29, 2018
Unexpectedly funny and relevant, though a little too random at times. A lot of these stories didn't fit within the broader chapter, or she takes pages to introduce her main topic when a quick intro paragraph would have put everything in context. Points for exceeding my expectations, though!
October 12, 2012
I really enjoyed Rhoda Janzen's Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. For those of you who don't know, Rhoda is a professor of English and creative writing at a college in Michigan. She grew up in the Mennonite community but had moved away from that religion. After her divorce (her husband turned out to be gay)and a horrible accident, she returns home to her parents to recover.
I was thrilled to learn that she was putting out a new book, and it did not disappoint. Rhoda takes us on her journey through exploring a new church (Pentecostal), a new romance, and breast cancer.
Obviously, going from a Mennonite church to a Pentecostal church is a bit of a change, which Rhoda handles with humor and grace. She does the same with her new relationship with the man who eventually becomes her second husband. And she uses that same humor and grace when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. The breast cancer is very advanced and there are times when it seems as though she won't make it to her wedding. Through it all, she leans on her faith, no matter if it's from a place of Mennonite solemnity or Pentecostal celebration. Miracles occur and love abounds.
This book reminds me of Eat, Pray, Love in that it will speak to you depending on where you are in your life. This book happened to hit me in a particular way and I very much related to it.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
*Have you noticed that sometimes scholars do one tiny thing really well, but at the expense of more important things?
*Mitch and I were only at the beginning...We didn't have the history, the strength, the elasticity, to deal with something this big.
*Carla, Julie, and I didn't want to each other. We wanted to love each other and eat yummy little pretzels with honey mustard.
*Mr. Wurby showed the class that when sand is poured into a full glass of water, in goes the sand and out comes the water. This means that gratitude and grudges wont fit into the same glass. If you add gratitude, out comes the grudge.
*You don't need to have amazing things to be grateful for.
*Mortality is inevitable. We are all required to die as a condition of life. But nobody is required to live in an awful house. Living in an awful house is something we ought to be able to avoid.
*None of the world religions promises fewer problems for people of faith. In fact every major world religion observes that suffering is inevitable and constitutive. We suffer as part of the human condition.
*Choosing how to respond to life is our greatest responsibility, and our greatest freedom.
*In his book Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster says that if we are to progress in our spiritual walk, we must "lay down the everlasting burden of always needing to manage others."
*Grammar may be the last bastion of institutionalized racism.
*At eighteen I thought it was much more important to be right than loving. Now at forty-eight I think it is much more important to be loving than right.
*When something is taken away, you begin to focus on what remains. We have only two choices when an important thing disappears from our lives: either we resent what is missing or we accept the loss. Either we look at what we don't have or we look at what we do have. The choice is ours.
*And in all those years I never considered the possibility that I was misusing the gift of sex. I was asking it to do the work of intimacy for me. It wasn't until I tried abstinence that I arrived at a useful conclusion. Sex should enhance intimacy, not replace it. This is because sex is a pretty pale substitute for intimacy, even when you're crazy hot for your lover.
*The thing we cling to is the thing that controls us.
*Hopefully those vampire books do not result from years of rigorous training. I'd like to think that they were written in Cozumel, when the author was enjoying a powerful margarita.
Highly recommend.
I was thrilled to learn that she was putting out a new book, and it did not disappoint. Rhoda takes us on her journey through exploring a new church (Pentecostal), a new romance, and breast cancer.
Obviously, going from a Mennonite church to a Pentecostal church is a bit of a change, which Rhoda handles with humor and grace. She does the same with her new relationship with the man who eventually becomes her second husband. And she uses that same humor and grace when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. The breast cancer is very advanced and there are times when it seems as though she won't make it to her wedding. Through it all, she leans on her faith, no matter if it's from a place of Mennonite solemnity or Pentecostal celebration. Miracles occur and love abounds.
This book reminds me of Eat, Pray, Love in that it will speak to you depending on where you are in your life. This book happened to hit me in a particular way and I very much related to it.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
*Have you noticed that sometimes scholars do one tiny thing really well, but at the expense of more important things?
*Mitch and I were only at the beginning...We didn't have the history, the strength, the elasticity, to deal with something this big.
*Carla, Julie, and I didn't want to each other. We wanted to love each other and eat yummy little pretzels with honey mustard.
*Mr. Wurby showed the class that when sand is poured into a full glass of water, in goes the sand and out comes the water. This means that gratitude and grudges wont fit into the same glass. If you add gratitude, out comes the grudge.
*You don't need to have amazing things to be grateful for.
*Mortality is inevitable. We are all required to die as a condition of life. But nobody is required to live in an awful house. Living in an awful house is something we ought to be able to avoid.
*None of the world religions promises fewer problems for people of faith. In fact every major world religion observes that suffering is inevitable and constitutive. We suffer as part of the human condition.
*Choosing how to respond to life is our greatest responsibility, and our greatest freedom.
*In his book Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster says that if we are to progress in our spiritual walk, we must "lay down the everlasting burden of always needing to manage others."
*Grammar may be the last bastion of institutionalized racism.
*At eighteen I thought it was much more important to be right than loving. Now at forty-eight I think it is much more important to be loving than right.
*When something is taken away, you begin to focus on what remains. We have only two choices when an important thing disappears from our lives: either we resent what is missing or we accept the loss. Either we look at what we don't have or we look at what we do have. The choice is ours.
*And in all those years I never considered the possibility that I was misusing the gift of sex. I was asking it to do the work of intimacy for me. It wasn't until I tried abstinence that I arrived at a useful conclusion. Sex should enhance intimacy, not replace it. This is because sex is a pretty pale substitute for intimacy, even when you're crazy hot for your lover.
*The thing we cling to is the thing that controls us.
*Hopefully those vampire books do not result from years of rigorous training. I'd like to think that they were written in Cozumel, when the author was enjoying a powerful margarita.
Highly recommend.
April 14, 2013
I have fond memories of Rhoda Janzen's first memoir, but I was startled to find God steadily infiltrating every corner of this newest memoir. Janzen has a lot of hysterically funny lines in this, but after a while, I started feeling like I was reading a book about religion and not a book about one person's specific experience with religion.
I have mixed feelings about this book. The mix between personal and all-mighty religion just seemed confusing, and when I read the acknowledgements at the end (because I read everything), I found out that Janzen's husband and stepson have different names in real life. Which would be fine except she puts their real names in the acknowledgments! So what's the point of using fake names in the memoir? I felt ripped off, as though I had read a book of fiction.
I greatly enjoyed the first half of this book. The second half was not for me.
I have mixed feelings about this book. The mix between personal and all-mighty religion just seemed confusing, and when I read the acknowledgements at the end (because I read everything), I found out that Janzen's husband and stepson have different names in real life. Which would be fine except she puts their real names in the acknowledgments! So what's the point of using fake names in the memoir? I felt ripped off, as though I had read a book of fiction.
I greatly enjoyed the first half of this book. The second half was not for me.
January 29, 2014
This book will find a different audience than her hugely popular earlier Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. This memoir is much more of a faith journey, yet still has her great sense of humor and a good pacing to it. I think many church book groups would find her account (of being at peace with embracing many of the elements of a pentecostal church while still respecting many of the traditions of her earlier Mennonite upbringing and even holding on to a belief in non-literal interpretation of the bible) rich with connections and lots of jump off point for discussions of reader’s own journeys. The audio is read well by the author.
October 25, 2022
Meh - I enjoyed her first book, but this one left me cold (or hot, as it annoyed me.). Jesus seemed to be the main character, followed closely by God and the Devil. I may be a non-believer, but I know my Bible. I’ve always taken it with a grain of salt, Ms Janzen laps it up lock, stock and barrel. Only a “born again Christian” could swallow the nonsense she has written about.
I skimmed to the end to finish it. One does not have to follow her train of thought to be a good, loving person. Look at the hundreds of other options that are available to non- Christians.
I skimmed to the end to finish it. One does not have to follow her train of thought to be a good, loving person. Look at the hundreds of other options that are available to non- Christians.
October 14, 2024
Rhoda is such a great writer. Honest and thoughtful, while also full of wit and humor. Now I need to read her first book.
October 23, 2014
I think that Rhoda is a very funny writer, but like her previous book (Mennonite in a Little Black Dress), this starts out strong and very funny, then gets fuzzy. I do like learning about her Mennonite background and family and that seems to be the marketing draw of these books. But across the two books, Rhoda has swung from one extreme to the next: first married to a gay bipolar man and taking a strident pose toward women's rights to an education/career to then seemingly total submission to a big oaf who stomps the heads of chipmunks. How can someone worship God and savagely kill his creations? Come to think of it though, the focus on both books is heavy on submitting to ("not dealing with") the strange behaviors of her mate. I don't think Rhoda has solved her problems at all, and perhaps another book in the series will soon be released with the pendulum swinging in some different direction, but I am unlikely to read it (i.e., I am so offended by the submission to the gun-toting oaf that I won't read any further books). Maybe I am just getting tired of memoirs, but this one seems affected, rushed to print to capitalize on the first best seller.
February 1, 2013
This is the funniest book I have ever read (or ever expect to read) about having cancer and joining a Pentecostal congregation (though the two are only peripherally related). It's hard to describe just what reading this book is like. Imagine hanging out with a good buddy and talking about the stuff that really matters while you laugh a lot, too. Thoughtful and witty, chatty in tone, Janzen writes with both great seriousness and a light touch when it comes to some very tough topics. She is honest about the challenges of her cancer even as she illustrates a determination to enjoy and appreciate "what remains," with little or no note of self-pity. I also appreciated the way she approached attending the Pentecostal congregation her husband attended. While she finds she isn't comfortable with all the theology she encounters there, she nonetheless comes to love the people (who love her right back) and to commit herself to faithful practice as part of the congregation. She models a "more excellent way," not of confrontation and resistance, but of gratitude and openness.
October 21, 2015
I recently read Janzen's first memoir and find out she had written a second. This subject matter continues the same light writing style, making usually difficult topics into a page turner. My kids call me the grammar and spelling police so I admit one of my favorite parts of the book is Janzen's role as an English professor, especially where she diagrams sentences.
The Mennonites sound like a quaint, throw back, close-knit community. Even though Janzen left the community, she maintains friendships to this day. I am happy she found peace in a new community, and I look forward to further writing by the author.
The Mennonites sound like a quaint, throw back, close-knit community. Even though Janzen left the community, she maintains friendships to this day. I am happy she found peace in a new community, and I look forward to further writing by the author.
March 1, 2013
Made me chuckle SO many times. I really needed that.
I did really want to understand the new relationship Jansen plunges into in this memoir, but I confess Mr. Right was culturally so far afield from the narrator that the attraction didn't make sense to me. Same with her immersion in a Pentecostal church, which clearly happens only because Mr. Right is firmly planted there. Just odd.
But of course we cheer for her fight against breast cancer (a thread that gets dropped, unfortunately--I wanted to know more) & it's fun to see her drolly happy.
I did really want to understand the new relationship Jansen plunges into in this memoir, but I confess Mr. Right was culturally so far afield from the narrator that the attraction didn't make sense to me. Same with her immersion in a Pentecostal church, which clearly happens only because Mr. Right is firmly planted there. Just odd.
But of course we cheer for her fight against breast cancer (a thread that gets dropped, unfortunately--I wanted to know more) & it's fun to see her drolly happy.
August 27, 2012
Very well written in individual descriptions but not as a full book. The first quarter of the book was well done. I was interested in the author's life and the progression of the story. Then it seemed to turn into a preach-fest. I was happy read the author's personal religious journey, but portions got way too pushy. The story fell apart quickly, with too much distraction / broken progression to add in God's blessings. Unfortunate.
June 15, 2012
Sadly, I did not like this. Loved her previous book but this one felt random and thrown together. Maybe too much pressure to deliver a new book?! A few parts were laugh out loud funny like MENNONITE, but the overly God-y stuff went on too long, and it annoyed me how much she wrote about her perfect bf/husband, who seemed totally flawless.
June 6, 2018
Read for my book club, and not my cup of tea. Writing is good, but subject content dragged on.
February 16, 2017
Ok, I read Rhoda's first book and laughed out loud. I enjoyed the reflection that she had in the Little black dress and found the Mennonite linkages humorous even though many or her experiences and traditions were different than mine (also a Mennonite). This book was truly disappointing in comparison. I don't think I laughed once. If found her relationship to be confusing as I couldn't see what they might see in each other (maybe just good sex). I found that her transition into a more evangelical Christian to be preachy and I couldn't believe that a woman like her would make that far of a transition in faith stance - so the author didn't provide the information I needed to make this a believable story. But then again life doesn't always make sense. The book didn't do much for me - thus my rating.
December 28, 2012
I received this book free with no obligation to write a review. I have wanted to write something in appreciation, but have procrastinated because the book was not a good fit for me. If I were to look only at the wordsmithing, I'd have to give the book a topnotch rating. However, the content rating would be much lower. There were times when I thought the book was going to have a redeeming quality, only for it to take a nose dive shortly after. To be honest, I did something I rarely do, I abandoned the book about one third of the way through. I'm sure for a different reader, this book would be a great fit, just not for me.
January 22, 2015
A comedic memoir about romance, breast cancer, and spirituality that will have you laughing and thinking deeply at the same time. The title was off-putting at first; I hate the term "Mr. Right" and I'm not interested in Christian memoirs. However, every single word in the title is sarcastic, NOT face-value.
The book itself is not a Christian memoir either, exactly, but more of a comedic one. I laughed my way through but came through with a better take on life at the end. No ground is sacred; no topic goes unturned. So many quotables. It's a must-read!
The book itself is not a Christian memoir either, exactly, but more of a comedic one. I laughed my way through but came through with a better take on life at the end. No ground is sacred; no topic goes unturned. So many quotables. It's a must-read!
February 12, 2015
God's Timing is Perfect! I have had this on my list to read for a year now. I'm not sure why I thought to pick it up now, but I'm so glad I did. Her humor and insight helped me on my own journey of faith as well as to see into the lives of those I love. She jumps around a little, but I didn't mind. A wonderful way to hear aout the Lord and his promises without having him crammed down your throat.
December 4, 2017
I think her publishing company is responsible for the title - probably to snag another spot on the best seller list. The cutesy title isn't reflective of the philosophical nature of Janzen's work. She offers a deep reflection on faith incorporated into every day life. There were parts that made me uncomfortable - like the section on tithing. But you don't need to agree with everything to have an appreciation of the meaning of faith in her life.
April 7, 2013
I haven't read the author's previous book, but after finishing this one, I'm going to have to pick it up. This is the story of a faith journey; a journey that is easy to relate to for anyone who has grown up in a faith tradition and wandered away for a while. This book challenged me in a way that few books on Christianity have, but did so in a way that didn't feel holier-than-thou.
October 19, 2017
The book I began reading, and did not finished, is titled "Mennonite Meets Mr. Right (A Memoir of Faith, Hope and Love)", which was previously published as Does This Church Make Me Look Fat. I greatly enjoyed her first book, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, which I found laugh out loud funny. This book, not so much, in large part due to the subjects, a Pentecostal boyfriend and cancer.
October 8, 2012
I read her first book and my daughter got an advanced copy of this and gave it to me. I made it though about 1/4 of the book and just put it down because it just didn't keep my interest. Maybe one memoir is enough sometimes?
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