4TH PRINTING , 1966, paperback library inc.- Dictionary of humorous quotations. edited by Evan Esar. "A treasury of one-line quips for speakers, teachers,businessmen- anyone who wants to add sparkle to his words- 2000 years of epigrams from Socrates to Oscar Levant.". COMPLETE , UNABRIDGED. England; Essays; Form; Humor; Non-Fiction; Quotations; Quotations, English; Wit and humor.
Evan Esar (1899–1995) was an American humorist who wrote Esar's Comic Dictionary 1943, "Humorous English" in 1961, and 20,000 Quips and Quotes in 1968. He is known for quotes like "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." He also wrote The Legend of Joe Miller, which was privately printed for members of the Roxburghe Club of San Francisco by the Grabhorn Press in 1957.
His quotes are commonly found in Crossword puzzles.
It was published in 1962. The quotations include people we know about and many we don’t. It has quotes going back a few hundred years and also includes some people, born late 1800s, who were still alive at the time of publication. Here are some of my favourites.
Fred Allen, born 1894, American radio wit: A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Michael Arlen born 1895, British Novelist and playwright: It is amazing how nice people are to you when they know you are going away.
Wystan Hugh Auden born 1907, English Poet: A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
Jane Austen, 1775-1817, English Novelist: A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.
Walter Bagehot, 1826-1877 English economist, essayist, and journalist: The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
James Montgomery Bailey, 1841-1894, American humorous journalist: When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.
Honore de Balzac, 1799-1850, French novelist: Marriage is the end of man.
James Matthew Barrie, 1860-1937, Scottish dramatist and novelist: I am not young enough to know everything.
Note: Reminds me of a quote I’ve heard: All great physics discoveries are made by young physicists because the older ones know it can’t be done.
Caron de Beaumarchais, 1732-1799, French playwright: It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.