Atypical 1st (first) edition Text Only

by Jesse A. Saperstein

The poignant, funny, and truly unique observations of a young writer diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. "Please be forewarned that you are about to read the observations and life lessons of someone who entertains himself by farting in public and conversing in gibberish with his cats." Thus begins the charming, insightful, and memorable story of Jesse Saperstein. Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism, Jesse has struggled since childhood with many of the hallmark challenges of his condition-from social awkwardness and self-doubt to extreme difficulty with change and managing his emotions. He has also worked hard to understand and make the most of his AS- developing his keen curiosity and sense of humor, closely observing the world around him, and most of all, helping others with AS to better cope and even thrive. Told with endearing and unflinching honesty, Jesse brings his unique perspective to the circumstances of his life and his condition.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology, Biography, Biography Memoir, Aspergers

Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Kate]

John Elder Robison's Look Me in the Eye wasn't a masterpiece of literature or anything, but what made it work for me is that the author didn't really ask for sympathy. He seemed comfortable with who he is, had learned to capably exploit a societal niche, and was even in an ostensibly successful relationship. He is unapologetic about his less desirable qualities while acknowledging that to find a place in the world, one has to make compromises--in his case, he had to grapple with his lack of social skills and learn why it's incorrect to "pet" most human beings as you would a dog (but that there are women who are apparently okay with that...).

That said, the narrator of this memoir is much younger, hasn't really become okay with who he is, and frequently asks for sympathy. There's a line in the book that states that Asperger's sufferers must deal with feelings of entitlement, and Jesse appears to feel that he is entitled to our interest. Personally, I was grossed out by the frequent flatulence jokes, felt that his attitude towards women is repulsive, and was irritated by some of his overwrought attempts at humor. I did like the chapter "Elizabeth West" a lot. It surprised me. I felt genuine sympathy for the author then.

But this is a memoir from someone who is about the same age as me, which maybe was part of the problem. This is a kid who is staring down the chasm of 30 still living with his parents, struggling to hold down a job because of the idiosyncrasies that are symptoms of his condition. I wish him the best of luck. I thought this book was pretty bad (I skipped the "lists"...whatever. They weren't funny). But I hope he finds himself and is able to write a better memoir later in life.

[Jill Wagner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am sympathetic towards Aspergers, but I thought that Saperstein was so annoying that I couldn't even finish this book. I don't like his attitude towards women AT ALL. I do like that he can look back on and analyze his past behavior.

[☺Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the effort author Jesse Saperstein made in writing his memoir, Atypical: Life With Asperger's in 20 1/3 Chapters. His life experiences told from his perspective - that is exactly what a memoir is - and as such, it is both enlightening and entertaining.
Note: Regarding dating, sex, and rejection - Jesse Saperstein needs to fully understand that women "owe" him nothing - not a second chance, not even a first chance. That is not how romantic relationships work irl - for anyone, including "neurotypicals".

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have dedicated a large portion of my life to working with individuals on the autistic spectrum. From severely disabling autism to more mild forms of Asperger's, there is much to be said for this community. Stories need to be told and the issues surrounding this psychological disorder should be discussed. This book, while an excellent outlet for the author, I'm sure, fails to address many of the issues that I've come across in my experiences. However, I say this from a strictly academic perspective and I do realize that each and every case of autism is drastically different from all others. I appreciate the willingness of Jesse Saperstein to share his experiences and respect him immensely for working through the struggles (and incredible achievements) in his life. Props!

[Deanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

While occasionally humorous and insightful, for the most part the author spends 223 pages blaming his Asperger's Syndrome for his truly obnoxious personality.

[VJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

No matter how odd he is, Jesse Saperstein can laugh at himself. I'm particularly taken with his explanations of popular culture. His descriptions of his personal quirks, how some have been overcome and others simply adapted to, are howling good laughs in some instances, painfully touching reads in others.

While similar, every person with Asperger's is unique. There may be a little bit of Asperger's in many of us. We would all do well to get past tolerating quirkiness to accepting it and recognizing the differences as strengths instead of defects.

Best book I've read yet about Asperger's. I'm now encouraged to write my own.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aren't we all atypical in one form or another? This is Jesse's world of living with and understanding how he thinks and functions under the banner of mild autism: Asperger's Syndrome. There are some great, laugh-out-loud passages as well as poignant observations that will hopefully give me pause when I meet someone who looks at the world with very different eyes. What is "normal," "appropriate," acceptable" anyway? Jesse's world makes perfect sense to him. The frustrations come when he has to function under the "world's" definition, and I believe that most of us feel the same frustration in some form or another as he does.

[Laçin Tutalar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Only when I reach 'Epilogue' of the book, I realize a practical outcome of AS that may make individuals living with it less and less hopeful. They are, no matter how unspoken or indirectly uttered, outcasts; and being represented in movies or images does not necessarily alleviate that societal verdict. Reading through these chapters, I thought over and over again that the author might have had a better life in a non-Americanized society, where market and biopower are not reinforcing normalcy as an asset in an obsessive manner.

[B. R. Kyle (Ambiguous Pieces) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ambiguous Pieces - Book Review

Aspects I Enjoyed:
~Book Cover: I love the Book Cover, the deeper symbolism wasn't obvious to me until I reached the end of the novel. Jesse has a yearly habit of sending out Christmas cards (with long letters attached to them) to everyone he knows. It's a sweet gesture because he's Jewish. I was thinking about the book and how it's a little short for a memoir-novel, then it dawned on me, it's like he's sending out a Christmas letter to all of us, a brief Autistic "The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful" Postcard.

~Representation Matters: I don't have Autism but I could completely relate to Jesse's social misadventures. I've had that exact same random conversation with my partner about the Feeder Fetish trend. Jesse's anecdotes are amusing, inappropriate and yet relatable. I was also told, often and frequently, that "just be yourself" was the solution to the problem, while the adults around me failed to grasp that being myself was the problem.

Jesse is absolutely right in the idea of breaking down stereotypes around disabilities in general, but especially with Autism and HIV+/AIDS condition as well. I agree with Jesse's ethos of the novel ("When you've met a person with Autism... You have met just ONE person with Autism") and how people with Asperger's or Autism are unique.

~It Gets Better: I felt that the memoir ended on a bit of a sad note. I'm not sure why that was decided and it felt a bit jarring. Perhaps Jesse felt that was important to establish that Self Improvement is a constant struggle and that it's important to take things one day at a time. My theory is that this book is supposed to act as an introduction. An opportunity for Jesse to raise awareness among the Neurotypicals.

Jesse has a blog and a website so curious readers can find out how the journey continues. I was happy to read this blog-post "The Greatest Day Ever". As a reader, to go from the end of the Memoir, then to The Greatest Day Ever is an enormous success and Jesse deserves every moment of hard-earned happiness.

Aspects I Had Problems With:
~The Feminist Reading Glasses: I'm willing to tolerate a lot in a book, however a nerdy guy acting like he's entitled to a woman's time or entitled to a second chance when he messes up is not something I'll ever feel comfortable reading, especially since when Women reject men or directly refuse their romantic advances, they end up assaulted or murdered. I understand that Jesse has Asperger's and while the author does call out his own behavior as misogynistic, it was still super uncomfortable to read.

~The Elephant In The Room: One of my biggest problems with this memoir was how it focused singularly on Autistic boys and men. Jesse mentions Autistic people from college, he mentions relatives who could possibly be Autistic, he even mentions fictional characters and media representations he thinks may be Autistic. All those people are men.

Jesse does mention Autistic women in his blog-post about the gatherings of the Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership (GRASP), however, these mentions tend to be brief side-notes like Yoga-Girl or his sister Dena. They don't get the same level of focus or attention.

~Alternative Perspectives: One of the aspects I liked most about Yes Please by Amy Poehler was how she had chapters written by other people (her comedy colleagues and her parents), I feel Atypical could have benefited from a similar technique.

All in all, a great and humorous memoir proving once in for all that no matter how separate or different we think each other to be, we all crave the same things. Empathy, compassion, and understanding. We all want to be heard.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will take the book at its face value. It is one man’s unflinchingly honest view of his life as he has come to terms with it. These are his thoughts and experiences. I do think it rare that someone would be so truthful about themselves, even in instances that others would cringe about the aspects that make him human. We after all are a flawed and imperfect group. Who, in their humanity, has achieved perfection?

While the author, in fact, occasionally made me shudder, and other times, desire to shake him, I appreciated his willingness to bare himself as he did. I was enthralled with him until the last pages, where my interest dwindled.

I did tire of the tirades against the DSM, though he is not the first I know of to rally against those characteristics. In the end, who wants to be defined by a set of criteria?

[Trish Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated Jesse's open window into such personal experiences. Autism/ Aspergers is such an individual journey, but through his retelling of experiences I felt compassion, understanding and most of all hope. As the mother, relative & friend of many who have been diagnosed on the spectrum, I really admire his willingness to share it all. To hear his most personal fears, struggles and accomplishments, it shows strength and a true desire to connect that I feel is often overlooked by neurotypicals, when observing the Autism community. I am truely thankful for this honest example of perspective, from an Atypical point of view. Thanks for sharing, not only for the Aspergers/Autism community, but for those of us who know and love them. Well done!

[Djdee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an interesting book.I could certainly hear the authors voice and felt like he was sitting beside me telling me his story.If you know someone with Asperger's this book would certainly help you to know how the person thinks and feels even though I realize
asperger's is a large spectrum.Highlt reccommend it.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very readable. A good balance of humor and seriousness. The author`s tendency to stereotype and judge women (and then bemoan his lack of a girlfriend) was frustrating, especially considering how self-aware he was in other areas and of other prejudices. Overall, worth reading, but not a book I`d read again.

[Carol Rogero · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly engaging look into the mind and life of a talented writer and masterful storyteller who happens to have Asperger’s. A must read for all educators and anyone else who wants to understand and appreciate different perspectives of the human experience.

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A meaningful significant, personal Asperger's perspective, by local author. A quick read, and in some parts, hysterically funny. Great book!

[Nora · Rating 5 out of 5]

marvelously funny and wise

[Edmund Roughpuppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Good
People on the Autism Spectrum deserve to tell their own stories of living with the condition; no medical observation can replace them.

People with Asperger’s have at least one lesson to teach the population at large: Many problems can be resolved and even avoided altogether by just being a little more honest and direct.

This is a nice thought to begin the discussion with, but I think he’s over-optimistic. As Jesse makes his bull-in-a-china-shop way through school, we root for him, because he’s honest and direct with us. One crucial symptom of Autism is rigidity. Sensitivy to sensory input is higher than normal. Irritations that merely annoy neurotypical individuals can disable Aspergians. Extra attention to structure, to design, to routine, predictability, even monotony calms them. If the shoe fits, they do not get bored or tired with repetition. Autism is like a nuclear power plant, enabling near-unlimited obsessive behavior and persistence.

Obsessive persistence can be credited for most of my life accomplishments and a handful of neurotypical friendships. On occasion, it has served as an invaluable asset. More often than not, however, my persistence has festered into an Achilles’ heel with serious consequences. The metaphorical horse continues to sustain postmortem bruises long after most people would have been sensible enough to walk away.

Each day that I live, I am more fascinated by the filmy mirroring that occurs, between the world and our minds. This necessary reproduction is quite imperfect. In fact, our minds take in so little reality, it’s a miracle we survive. Each one of us is trapped in our own imperfect mirror. Scientists pay special attention to damaged nervous systems, for just this reason; damaged people’s perceptions are far enough removed from reality to recognize them as false. We can study the difference, untangle the causes of the disconnect, in those special cases. We are less able to identify falsehoods in “normal” brains, and especially in our own. Bearing this in mind, adjusting to the world around us is difficult, and more so for Aspergians. Jesse makes a worthy contribution to our understanding, from the inside out.

The Bad
Jesse and his publishers present him as a success story. He overcame serious social difficulties to become a well-adjusted, independent adult. When this book was published, Jesse was about 28 years old, still living with his parents. His second book came out around age 32, and the back page says he “lives with his family.” While I respect his accomplishments, I think it’s important to know the measure of Jesse’s independent adulthood. A financial counselor may give us excellent advice, while maintaining $30,000 in credit card debt, but discovering that practice might cool our enthusiasm.

About responsibility: Society depends on our ability to pretend interest in others, at least. We are also naturally narcissists, typical or atypical. In keeping with the rigidity outlined above, Jesse maintains a rock-hard, willful ignorance of this and other social responsibilities that fall squarely on his shoulders. He often laments neurotypical individuals’ lack of understanding of people like him, but expresses little interest in their feelings, their difficulties, their needs. He simply must fart in public, go without bathing until his body smells like a Superfund site, and pursue friends and romantic interests until they apply for a Restraining Order. Can’t they “understand?”

Jesse, here’s your “honest and direct” answer: No. They can’t, they won’t. Earth will not stop revolving for you. 4,000 years of human history will not be reversed, to accommodate your deviations. You will either find a way to be less offensive, or remain a pariah, end of story. Jesse does mitigate his obsessive letter writing by sending an ‘opt out’ message to his targets:

I still send birthday cards to obscure acquaintances, but always disclose my mild autism in a handwritten disclaimer: I have something called Asperger’s syndrome and this is how I choose to communicate with people. If you do not wish to receive future cards, please give me the courtesy of telling me this yourself.

In closing, I rate the book highly. Jesse’s account is helpful to anyone dealing with an “atypical” life or loved one.

[Rishi Kant]

Finally, a book on autism that doesn't bank on gifted-level intelligence to make the protagonist likable. Jesse Saperstein doesn't have a photographic/eidetic memory or precocious abilities in mathematics or programming. He studied English, took substitute lectures in high school, and did 12-hour-long graveyard shifts at an IBM facility.

No, he cannot reproduce factoids about criminology or do high-order mathematics for fun. But he struggles to fit into this neurotypical world. He says and does things that the world otherwise thinks are inappropriate, and that is the hallmark of autism.

Atypical is a tell-all memoir that projects ASD as accurately as possible. Saperstein could not tell the capital of Lithuania, but he could write a long letter at Christmas, in which he rambles about things that are inappropriate to write to a stranger. People on the spectrum always struggle not knowing the unspoken boundaries of communication. Saperstein's anecdotes of being labeled a "stalker" for crossing those boundaries feel like a validating experience.

This wickedly honest book rejects all stereotypes that dominate the discourse on ASD, and lays bare some of the uncomfortable truths around ASD. The constant struggle to fit in school and college, the struggle to find a job - something Saperstein has lived through as his life peaked and troughed.

[SHR · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jesse has a great sense of humour and it comes through in what he writes, he is upfront about his issues and understands who he is, and although he seems settled with who he is, he doesn’t always like it. Some of the thoughts that caught my attention were:
• “Survival among the neurotypicals requires relentless compromise, overanalysing the situation, and making life just a little more complicated in order to solve the simplest problems.”
• “The most profound disablers are the lack of understanding and chances allotted by the neurotypical public.” & related to this
• “The greatest disabler is being paralysed by ignorance and intolerance when these realities could be alleviated through making the effort to understand.”

[Chelsea McAnulty]

DNF page 31… skimmed through to see if worth continuing. Not what I was expecting with this read or hoping to learn. This isn’t just his personal experience but his opinions on things. I wanted his experience and and insight on how he lives with AS. His opinions on things of all nature took away from what I’d hoped to get from this.

[Marina Herrmann]

DNF at page 95.

[Erica Bartels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed. Well written and very entertaining. It certainly helps you to pause, think and see the world differently. Knowledge is power.

[Kayla]

Enjoyed it but did not finish

[Sydney Deitrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tore through this book in one day. Quick read and easy to understand. I enjoyed getting to know Jesse a bit and understanding a little about asperger’s.

[Lori Oleksak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. Gave great insight to a person on the spectrum.

[Kaitlyn Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

5/10 interesting read and writing style, nice diverse viewpoint, I just didn’t vibe with the author sometimes

[Lori Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm really impressed with Jesse Saperstein. Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a mild form of autism, and one of the most misunderstood), he write his memoirs to not only tell his story but share his insight into how the community at large observes Asperger's.


For those who don't know, Asperger's Syndrome is a mild form of autism, but shouldn't be discounted. Symptoms range from inability to read social cues, repetitive actions, intense interests or fascinations in certain things, inappropriate outbursts or comments, and in more severe cases, tics (stimming), hand flapping, and meltdowns. Before Asperger's was recognized by the medical community in the 1990's, people with this disability (as he calls it in his book) had to suffer through school and life with no help, being labeled lazy, weird, and the like.


Saperstein is remarkable in that he grew to be able to work with people. A very memorable experience touched my heart. He raised nearly $20,000 for a Pediatric AIDS/HIV foundation by hiking the entirety of the Appalachian Trail (that's 2,178) over seven months. His story of that hike was both heart-warming and hilarious and showed that there is a little bit of Asperger's in all of us.


One of the things that stuck in my head was Saperstein's comment about how "tolerance" can be a bad word. "Tolerance" can equal "ignoring". If people "tolerate" a person with a disability, often that means they don't give that person a second look, a CHANCE. First impressions for person with Asperger's is difficult, so instead of turning your head in "tolerance" and ignoring -- try giving a chance. This message of Saperstein's will stick with me always.


Lori Anderson

Blog
Shop

[Alex Templeton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I have met the author of this book, as we share a good friend (the Karl who is mentioned a couple of times). I was also predisposed to liking this book because I am, as I have mentioned a couple times in my review here, teaching a group of students with AS this year. That being said, I honestly enjoyed reading this book. It seemed an honest portrait to me of where my early-adolescent students might be in fifteen years from now. They will have accomplished some great things, as Saperstein did (hiking the whole Appalachian Trail, publishing a book) but they will still struggle quite a bit, like Saperstein does (living with parents, being unable to find a date). My main criticism of this book was that some of its chapters meandered a bit; I found it difficult to get a sense of what their main idea was. Still, I am grateful that Saperstein has written about the wall he feels between himself and "neurotypicals", the wall that neurotypicals often put up because those with AS are too odd. It really has been a trip and a half to work with my class of AS students, and I am grateful for their presence in my life. . Having seen the pain that comes from their inability to connect, I therefore can only agree with Saperstein's plea for the rest of us to give AS folks a chance.

[Sasha Boersma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite a ridiculous, but enjoyable, personal account of living with Asperger's. While proving that everyone's experiences with Asperger's (now autism) is unique (as while I could relate to some bits, most of the recount is his life and his interpretations), it's still a great read of someone so candid and reflective of their life through the lense of this condition.

Two passages that really jumped out at me are recorded here so I remember them for a later reference, but also because they are so poignantly phrased...

pg 4: "Neurotypicals have a tendency to confront problems only after they have grown out of hand. Cyberbullying? It wouldn't have taken a carnival clairvoyant to anticipate the problem, but instead it took several well-publicized suicides for lawmakers to finally address what could have been avoided from day one. For all our deficiencies and challenges, people with Asperger's have at least one lesson to teach the population at large: Many problems can be resolved and even avoided altogether by just being a little more honest and direct."

pg 23: "Asperger's syndrome is a perpetual weather front. Sometimes severe... sometimes benign... but never, ever inert. The cyclone of weirdness, manic activity, and scramble to beat the clock...."

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I rated this book 3 stars only because from my English teacher's perspective it is not especially well organized. However, as a parent of a 30 year old with ASD, I am glad that Jesse wrote this book. I know it isn't easy to sacrifice your privacy and that of your family. I have struggled with how, when, how much to share. But it is important to raise awareness so that all of us can give individuals with invisible disabilities such as ASD a chance. I don't agree with orher reviewers who have been grossed out by anything Jesse writes in this book or his seeming to ask for sympathy. I can relate to everything in this book either because I have seen it in my son, other people with the diagnosis, and some who may be living without a diagnosis wondering why they can't be accepted. I could go on and on. Looking forward to reading the other book, too.