Do You Dream in Color?: Insights from a Girl Without Sight

by Laurie Rubin

Colors, Rubin tells us, affect everyone through sound, smell, taste, and a vast array of emotions and atmospheres. She explains that although she has been blind since birth, she has experienced color all her life.

In her memoir Do You Dream in Color? , Laurie Rubin looks back on her life as an international opera singer who happens to be blind. From her loneliness and isolation as a middle school student to her experiences skiing, Rubin offers her young readers a life-story rich in detail and inspiration drawn from everyday challenges. Beginning with her childhood in California, Rubin tells the story of her life and the amazing experiences that led her to a career as an internationally celebrated mezzo-soprano.

Rubin describes her past as a "journey towards identity," one she hopes will resonate with young people struggling with two fundamental "Who am I?" and "Where do I fit in?" Although most of us aren't blind, Rubin believes that many of us have traits that make us something other than "normal." These differences, like blindness, may seem like barriers, but for the strong and the persistent, dreams can overcome barriers, no matter how large they may seem. This is what makes her story so unique yet universal and so important for young readers.

Genres: Memoir, Disability, Nonfiction, Biography, LGBT, Autobiography

400 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Mia]

Oh my goodness... the description and the reviews of this drive me crazy actually. Like just the language that people use with disability as opposed to able-bodied people, the character "struggling" but ultimately being "inspiring" to everyone else. And the fact that people find it hard to believe that blind people in general can be disliked or ostracized at schools simply because they're blind, or that they can't find jobs even though they're talented. The reason things might not add up to people, AKA why blind people struggle even though they're talented, is not because we're lazy or entitled. In fact, it's because ableism does still exist in so many forms and people just don't think about it. but in saying ableism doesn't exist and that blind people's challenges are ridiculous, you are LITERALLY the reason behind ableism and you are promoting this view?? You are continually making it impossible for blind people to thrive because we're expected to constantly inspire and succeed for others' benefit and if we ever dare to talk about our life being hard while being successful, we're called names. So yeah... that was a long rant but ultimately I'm looking forward to reading this and I just really wish that people could be more aware of disabled voices and the constraints we're put under. It is extremely hard for us to get jobs, not because we don't try hard enough, but because we're under an impossible system. So yeah, I'm very grateful that this book, one of maybe three, exists as a memoir about a blind person, and I do urge anyone needing to hear this to do your research before you start making ableist claims all over the place and to continue reading from disabled voices. (Wow, did NOT know that anger was in there but here we are haha!!)

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find this book difficult to comment upon as it's well written, with parts being quite interesting, but as a whole something seemed "off" here. Early on, I realized that she lead a sheltered life, though it wasn't until later it became clearer how un-self-aware she could be. On the one hand, her parents were rather aggressive when it came to seeing that every accommodation was made for her academically, which I found highly impressive, however ... all that seemed quite undermined in learning near the end of the book that by the time she had finished a prestigious grad school course, she had never operated a microwave oven in her entire life - until she left home for undergrad, her family wouldn't even let her butter her own bagel being terrified she'd cut herself with a table knife! A perfect example of the term Helicopter Parenting.
Originally, Laurie attended a school for blind kids, though her mother later had her mainstreamed. For high school, she attended the same posh academy as per older brother. Unfortunately, that part of the book is rife with self-pity over the other kids' refusal to socialize with her "because she was blind"; having finished the book, I'm not so sure that was (entirely) the case. She does have musical triumphs, performing with big names in the music world (as well as some gratuitous name dropping also). Then, it's off to the music program at Oberlin College, where she fits in well, becoming a true star, with more accomplishments cited. And then, it's off to Yale for grad school, where things once again go horribly wrong. Her classmates once again dislike her because she's blind, especially because she has a new guide dog they find disruptive; her only friends are the other (few) gay music students, especially one guy who frankly sounded rather obnoxious to me. In the end, she's thoroughly humiliated by not landing a role in the opera put on by her class. We're told that when she objects (in front of the whole class), she's told it's a "safety issue" (paraphrase), though she'd had opera roles before.
Finally, it's on to life in Manhattan for her and the girlfriend she met at Yale (part of that gay music "out crowd"), living in the apartment her parents own there. In spite of being buddies with "Flicka" von Stade and other Big Names in the biz, there's nothing available for her professionally. Nada.
I was left with the impression that she must be a seriously unreliable narrator, where the events she relates did not occur as she presented them. I mean, I was fairly shy in high school, but I still had friends, but it seems Laurie had few social skills. Yes, she says she did well at camp for the visually impaired, but it's tough to believe that everyone at her high school wrote her off for being blind? At Oberlin, she seemed to revel in being a celebrity, although her blind boyfriend (also a celebrity) dumped her on her birthday (as she was about to end the relationship herself). The Yale story left me wondering what she'd done to antagonize the folks there? Either that or they're all hateful prima donnas, right up to making comments about resenting her "smelly dog"!
The bottom line is that the story she presents didn't add up for me. Laurie mentions her triumphs, with celebrities praising her wonderful voice. She must be quite the prodigy, as she almost never refers to lots of hard work practicing; it's as though those experiences fell into her lap based on "talent" alone. Could it be that she's somewhat lazy and entitled? A resume that includes working directly with John Williams and Flicka von Stade, as well as being part of a group studying directly under Dame Joan Sutherland, and she can't find work tutoring high school students after getting out of Yale? OK ...

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Impressive memoir of growing up in a privileged, loving family yet struggling to not be defined by her blindness.

[Rita Ciresi · Rating 4 out of 5]

The other day I was wondering if anyone (beyond ghostwriters for celebrities) wrote old-fashioned autobiography anymore. Mezzo-soprano Laurie Rubin's story of growing up without sight and her growth as a musician gave me that yes. This charming and inspiring story is not particularly literary, but it is heartfelt and gives the reader a glimpse into the challenges of being blind in a sighted society. I particularly loved the chapter on Rubin's relationship with her guide dog, Mark (and encourage everyone to support Guiding Eyes for the Blind or a similar organization) and her relationship with her partner, Jenny. This book would make a great gift to a young musician and/or to any young person who has a vision impairment. I also would definitely recommend it to librarians. Listen to Laurie Rubin sing "You Raise Me Up" as a tribute to her guide dog Mark at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aldxs...
Dare you not to cry!

[Christie Bane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read a lot of memoirs about blindness and this was one of the better ones. The author is very accomplished in her professional life as an opera singer, and also sounds like a pretty interesting person in general. The place where I found this book to be different (and better/more interesting) than most was in the degree of the author's openness about the social issues that went along with being a person who is blind, and not also blind, but also a lesbian. I really appreciated that insight into another person's experience. That's why we read memoirs to begin with, right? Anyway, I also had the thought that she was very lucky to have had the family and advantages that she did. Not only did she have very supportive family members, they also had enough resources to GIVE her an apartment in Manhattan. Pretty amazing. Good listen if you like audiobooks.

[Dame Literati · Rating 3 out of 5]

Because life is hard enough without being blind.

Delve into the charmed life of mezzo-soprano Laurie Rubin as she recounts the difficulties of growing up blind in a sighted world. Travel with her as her family discovers that a birth defect has left her irises undeveloped, depriving her completely of sight, save the recognition of light and dark. After a few years in an elementary school for the blind, Laurie is "mainstreamed" into a normal middle and high school where she is the school's firs blind student. At first she is an outcast because her classmates feel that s she is a robot. With this realization, Laurie's brother must be the bearer of the uncomfortable news that her classmates' opinions are due to Laurie's lack of simple body language such as nodding, shrugging and shaking one's head.
During her piano lessons, Laurie prefers to serenade her teacher with vocal renditions of the Bach Inventions instead of learning the intricate fingering patterns. Her piano teacher suggests that her time might be more productive in voice lessons and this suggestion sets Laurie onto her eventual career path.

Do You Dream in Color? is a fascinating journey through what it feels like to grow up blind and how one can overcome any obstacle to lea a normal life. Rubin writes about the many small things, which the rest of the sighted world takes for granted, that many blind people struggle with. Simple tasks such as preparing hot beverages, cooking, visiting and enjoying museums, navigating a foreign cit, and cleaning are activities that most of us master easily and at a young age - but can be daunting for a person without sight. ruins' story shows the world that with a little effort and perseverance on her part, combined with a little understating and compromise from others, she can do most everything a person with sight can. Who would have thought she wold be able to waterski, snows, navigate the streets of New York City or hit her marks on the opera stage? She did of course and why not?

Rubin's memoir is interesting as it begins with a small girl, backstage at one of her concert performances., asking Rubin if she dreams in color. Rubin answers the question by interspersing the telling the formative moments of her life with poems describing her impressions of various colors. The poems make for enlightening perspective on how even without ever having visually seen colors, all people can experience many of the same impressions and feelings from the various colors of the rainbow.

While many others have let their disabilities completely define who they are, Ruvin proves that blindness is merely a facet of the shimmering gem of a person she has grown to be. She is wonderfully inspiring and reminds the world not to let anything stand in the way of achieving your dreams.

[Kelly Mallari · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d rate this 5 stars.

This memoir really surprised me because I had no idea what to expect from the perspective of a woman who lacks eyesight. In fact, the main reason why I wanted to read Do You Dream in Color? by Laurie Rubin is because I was intrigued to understand how a blind opera singer lived her life and dealt with hardships; the main one she faces is wanting to be able to fit in and not just be seen solely by her blindness. I learned that despite frustrations that may arise from time to time, as long as you are devoted and hard working, you will be able to achieve your goals.

Through the various stories that are told in this memoir, she explains that she is able to experience color, despite being blind, by using her other senses. Colors affect her through emotions and atmospheres. Throughout the memoir, poems were placed in between some chapters that were dedicated to specific colors. “Black is the color of my tall, handsome, majestic guide dog, Mark, a black lab/poodle cross whom I was with with in 2002.” For every adventure or situation that she experiences, she is able to identify color with how they made her feel. I really enjoyed this aspect of the memoir because it was interesting to understand how she sees color based on her experiences and everyday life.

The main purpose of this memoir, however, is to show how Laurie is changing throughout her life, and eventually realizing what her purpose in life is. It seemed like the most prevalent issue she dealt with in her childhood was struggling to find where she belonged in school because many of the girls she attempted to talk to felt like it would be too much of a hassle to “babysit” a blind girl. “I stood there, feeling my heart sink, wondering why they always made a point of finding each other at parties, at lunch, or anywhere else, and would never look for me.” Laurie was frustrated by this because she made efforts everyday to talk to her peers, but she continually could not find a group of friends.

Feeling this rejection made her feel like an outcast, which her mother realized, and one suggestion she had to help was to attend a sleep-away camp for the blind. “Were they having second thoughts and thinking the only place I could be happy was in some institution with people supposedly like me?” Laurie felt like her family had given up on her ability to make friends at school, so she was offended that her mom even suggested the idea. She eventually decided to give it a chance when she found out her other friend was going. This situation shows that Laurie is skeptical of things at first because she is very independent, so she didn’t want to give up on the fact that she couldn’t make friends at school.

However, participating in music competitions was what she was looking for all along. She was easily able to make strong bonds with her peers who had the same interests as her. “It was the hardest thing in the world to go back to reality in the fall and return to school. I was invisible again as the girls in my class around me enthusiastically hugged each other.” Although Laurie didn’t have a close group of friends at school, she knew that she her musical peers were her true friends and fully accepted her for who she was.

This leads to how music has played a role in Laurie’s life since she was five years old. First starting out with piano lessons, she soon discovered that she wanted to take singing lessons after discovering that she could sing back the notes her teacher played in perfect pitch. A month or two after she started voice lessons, she saw The Phantom of the Opera, which changed her life. Ever since then she knew that she wanted to perform in operas, which shows how Laurie had big aspirations in life and was determined to work hard to achieve her goals. I recognize her finding her love for music as her defining moment because she found her passion and began taking steps toward her newfound goals.

Laurie’s college experience was much more successful than middle and high school when it came to finding friends. Her senior year of high school was stressful for her because there was only one school that she wanted to be. “That was it. I was sold. If Oberlin was a place where it was cool to be different, I knew it was the place for me.” Once she was accepted, she made many close friends and was astonished that she was surrounded by people that wanted to hang out with her. This shows the point in Laurie’s life when she finally started to get a sense of acceptance from her peers in school.

After Laurie finished college, she was a mezzo-soprano singer living in New York, waiting for an opportunity to perform in an opera. This was frustrating for her because she wasn’t going to settle for a regular day job; she wanted to pursue her dream but had to wait around to be casted. “The six years of honing our musical craft and our time in New York trying as hard as we could to find ways of putting it to practical and financial use all seemed useless.” Again, being faced with a challenge, Laurie did not give up hope and made use out of the free time she had.

While she did not have a job, she still wanted to be able to provide for her girlfriend, Jenny, who had just found a job. Growing up, Laurie wasn’t allowed to do much of anything on her own without her family being fearful. She was prohibited from even being in the kitchen when someone was cooking and had to be fed meals because they felt that knives were too dangerous for her to use. This led her to finally take classes to learn the basic skill of cooking. Laurie had always wanted to be independent, but was unable to in some aspects because of her family’s idea that it would easily for them to just do things for her. While reading about her learning to cook, I felt it as a powerful breakthrough for her becoming more independent.

After reading this memoir, one thing that I realized is how difficult it is for those who lack eyesight to be fully accepted by an employer. Especially for Laurie, since her passion was performing in operas and some stage directors in the past disliked having to provide her with extra help around the stage. She had to excel and work harder than a sighted person because she needed to continually prove that she deserved to be there like everyone else. Because of this, she gained the strength to always be determined and fight for her goals.

While reading this book, I found it hard to put down because I found it so interesting to gain a new perspective that I initially didn’t have any assumptions about. She described experiences she’s been through with great detail and wrote in a tone that was humorous and relaxed. Although not every blind person’s experience in life is the exact same, I now understand certain stereotypes and hardships that affect those who lack eyesight as a whole. Laurie is an extremely motivated and passionate woman, so I enjoyed reading her journey of self discovery.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I completely expected to skim the book in order to recommend it to others, but instead, I fell in to Rubin's storytelling, literally chronologically, of her growth into a woman who was not only blind from birth, but a beautiful singer, Jewish, a lesbian, and one who was not willing to accept NO for an answer. The girl's got style.

Rubin details her learning, her pitch perfect sense of hearing, her struggles in school and with relationships and friendships, and overcoming obstacles. The only parts that I found a little less interesting was her descriptions and explanations of her singing career, because that does not interest me personally, but if you're looking for a book to overcome obstacles, then this is certainly the one. I enjoyed the sections of poetry on color and the thought of how others view blindness.

She does well to explain everything from mobility training, reading, to getting around. There's a section where she gets Mark, her seeing-eye dog, as well as friendships that began with them literally asking why she's not looking at them, only to have her reply, "because I'm blind". There are the requisite, "I'm blind, not dumb or deaf", but all are done with such panache and incorporated so well into the story that it's simply engaging. A biography worth reading.

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

*This review is for a book received through a Goodreads First Reads book giveaway*

Laurie Ruben's story sounded interesting when I first read her book description, like it was something fresh and uplifting. After reading it, I can say that my instincts seemed to be valid.

This book is basically an autobiography of Laurie Ruben, showing everything from the diagnosis of her blindness to the daily challenges she must face even as a successful adult. What sets this aside from the usual cookie-cutter autobiography is the vibrant imagery and the self-written poetry she includes. The book makes it very easy to identify with what being blind is like.

Having an interest in music and production, I especially loved the descriptions of her opera performances and plays.

If you are looking for a book that makes you feel enlightened while giving you cool information and a touching true story, this is the book for you.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating look at a fascinating human being. I felt fortunate to learn more about the author's early life, her exposure to opera, how she manages performance anxiety, her academic experiences, and her burgeoning career. The chapters on Mark, Rubin's first guide dog, and Jenny, Rubin's partner, are especially touching. Rubin is a courageous and open person, but I did feel like she held back a little because of the book's young adult target audience. However, the lessons that Rubin imparts about self-confidence, persistence, and creativity are especially important for young readers to learn.

[Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is well written and so interesting. What an amazing life Laurie has had. Certainly her parents deserve a great deal of credit for who she has become. Her voice is amazing as well. The only thing I didn't like is she decided she is gay and lives with another woman. How sad she doesn't understand who she really is. However, it is still a good read.

[Akemi Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I'm lucky to count Laurie Rubin as a friend.

I loved getting such an intimate insight into the formative years of a woman I'm lucky to call my friend. I felt as though I could hear the words in Laurie's own voice as I sped my way through her story. I couldn't put this book down!

[Karen Jury · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a past graphic designer and current photographer, I can't even envision a life without sight. This book has opened my eyes to what is possible in a sightless world...I think she sees more than many of us.

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of hearing Laurie speak and sing several months ago. I knew I needed to read her book after that. Not only was this a beautiful story but as a sighted person I learned so much about what it means to be blind. Laurie is honest, vulnerable, and poetic in her story.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this a 10 star rating if I could! Beautifully written. The best personal memoir on blindness I've read thus far. She addresses things in a very raw and candid way. If you want insights into what being blind in a sighted world is like, read this.

[Brittnee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is two stories in one. The first about living as a blind woman. The second about living as a privileged woman.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good! Lots of interesting information about moving into an artistic career. ("Being born to wealthy, cultured people who make connections for you" is one good tip! 😂) Interesting information about being blind. Interesting information on how she came out in college.

It's not very long, but enough to be a good story!

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met the author at an event recently and was inspired so much by her story. The book is very well written and her story is fascinating!

[Angelina Martinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great book and an amazing story! Drug on a bit.

[Jenny Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of memoirs about blind people and this is one of the better ones. She’s a very good writer. And describes things so well. I absolutely love her mom.

[Pushkar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just amazing to know how, with the right systems in place, a person with a setback can realise her dreams.

[Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This uplifting bio gives a glimpse into the trials, tribulations and triumphs of a differently abled woman. Laurie's prose transports us to her days as an intuitive youngster, struggling to weave a communicative thread between her and others who label her less than. We also witness as she questions her sexuality while navigating college and nurturing her musical skills. Overall, this is a good first memoir by an inspirational public figure who I happen to call a friend.

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

"do you dream in color?" was about the blind woman named Laurie Rubin. Laurie wasn't treated like normal people, she had to get treated the way that blind people are treated. my biggest problem with this book was that Laurie wasn't able to see objects at the Samsonian Museum. I think that they should have let her touch the displays so she could see them. I love how this is about Laurie's life and how she tells her story.

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do you dream in color?
No, not exactly, because I've never seen colors.
Do you dream?
Yes, I do.

So I picked this up last week at the library ... I wasn't able to read the back cover b/c a sticker covered most of it but the title was intriguing...

I'm so glad I picked this book up. It's a short read but a quality one. I've actually never met anyone who is blind and this book gave just a little glimpse as to what life is like for someone who can't see. Worthy of your time if you're looking for something a bit different.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Because I am Deaf, I depend on sight; Author, Laurie Rubin, is Blind and depends on hearing and touch. Though our physical disabilities are extreme opposite, much of the struggle in experiencing life as a "normal" person are much the same--especially in her stories of social events and friendships at school while growing up.

I applaud Laurie's thrive in keeping her sights on her passions and dreams.

[Victoria Shepherd · Rating 2 out of 5]

The descriptions of how the author sees colour, which are interspersed throughout the book, are beautiful and poetic. Unfortunately, the rest of the book lacks a compelling voice. It's unfortunate that this book contains no photographs, unlike most memoirs, as these would have increased the personalization of the story.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw this on my library shelf and it intrigued me. It was a good book and brought a lot of insight into what it is like to be blind. There were a few parts that made me uncomfortable or weren't interesting to me but overall the book was good and was a great non fiction read.

[Luna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not amazing but not bad. The poetry was not very good and I feel bad saying it but that is just how I felt. I ended up skimming the last two chapters because it was just a little much. Sorry for this ill written review..

[Rachel Hopkins · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this more....

[Marsha Rech]

Enjoyed


It was well written, interesting to read, and an all around good book. I would recommend it to anyone to read