What Pooh Might Have Said to Dante and Other Futile Speculations

Manny reviews... #1

by Manny Rayner

Would Mr. Darcy have preferred Mary Poppins to Lizzie Bennet? Is the New Testament science-fiction? Could the Three Musketeers have beaten the Lord of the Rings in a fair fight? Does Jemima Puddleduck work better as a French trash novel? And what would Pooh have said to Dante? You'll find answers to all the above questions, and many more, in this book.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Philosophy, Literary Criticism, Books About Books, Writing, Literature

242 pages, Paperback

First published March 12, 2012

About the author

Many people have been protesting against what they describe as censorship on Goodreads. I disagree. In fact, I would like to say that I welcome the efforts that Goodreads management is making to improve the deplorably low quality of reviewing on this site.

Please, though, just give me clearer guidelines. I want to know how to use my writing to optimize Amazon sales, especially those of sensitive self-published authors. This is a matter of vital importance to me, and outweighs any possible considerations of making my reviews interesting, truthful, creative or entertaining.

Thank you.

Reviews

[Manny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Praise for What Pooh Might Have Said To Dante:

"...would make a great present for somebody who's never heard of GoodReads before, like maybe a caveman recently unfrozen from an ancient glacier" - BirdBrian

"Having observed both Counsel extremely closely, I am compelled to find that the market value of Mr Rayner's efforts is precisely Nil" - Ian G

"... something rather amateurish that looked like it had been done in somebody's back room" - notgettingenough

"Manny doesn't like Harry Potter and sometimes I get mad at him and threaten to throw him into the ocean" - Mariel

"Felkeltem, ál-tudományos, falloszentrista, szexista szemetet" - Sakkfeminizmus

"Not bad for an over-aged hairball" - Marvin

"To be completely honest -- meh." - David L

"I bought this as a gift for my mum and there was rather more sex in it than I had expected." - Hamish

"... a waste of time... you can read all that stuff for free online" - Paul B

"The future is an endless oneupmanship to see who can write the wittiest, most popular 200-word capsule review on fuck-all. This is Manny’s fault." - MJ

"... call it Rue Vomitorium" - David C

"... good if you read it in the original failboatese" - Vote Whore

"... almost... funny" - Traveller

"... just ... some ... book" - Michael P

"Will you enjoy this? In a word, no, unless you are a masochist" - Sean D

"Never in my life I seen a more desperate attempt to get votes" - Alfonso

"... advertising..." - Esteban

"If I'd been drinking I think it could have made me seasick" - Tabitha

"The thing about Manny... he almost never throws feces at random strangers." - Kat

"... explicit ... the author has failed ..." - Scribble

"... rattling a virtual tip jar at every opportunity ..." - Jason P

"Manny, you sure are fascinated with Stephenie Meyer" - Rowena M

"GoodReads in-jokes ... off-putting ..." - Cecily

"... book snob ... insecurity ... stupid ..." - midnightfaerie

"... sexist garbage ... if you ask me, he is off his onion ..." - Nandakishore

"... ridiculous ... dilettante ..." - Rlotz

"... a pain in the testicles ..." - Faek

"... pompous ..." - Heep

"... silly ..." - Stian

"... enough..." - Alan B
__________________________________

Over the last couple of years, several kind people have asked whether I'd considered publishing a collection of my best reviews. I always replied that I appreciated the suggestion, but it didn't seem like a sensible thing to do. But, a few weeks ago, I started wondering whether I shouldn't give it a shot after all. If Goodreads unexpectedly folded up - these things happen - it would be so annoying to lose my writing. Self-publishing has become cheap and easy. And I've got a fair amount of experience with type-setting. How much work could it be to implement a few scripts to turn HTML into LaTeX and then upload a PDF file to Lulu?

Well, it's never quite as straightforward as you think, but here is the result. For the benefit of other people who may feel tempted to do the same thing, let me give you the key lessons I've learned from this little adventure:

1. Sign up an editor and some readers. No author can be objective about their own work; they need keen external eyes to tell them both what's good and what's bad about it. It was fortunate for me that notgettingenough, who has long-term experience with publishing, took an early interest in the project and was willing to act as editor. She ruthlessly corrected several of my dumber ideas, forced me to think about issues I'd happily have ignored, and made sure that the book was produced to professional standards. My advisory committee - BirdBrian, Mariel and Ian - read through the manuscript and gave me encouragement and helpful suggestions. They convinced me that it was worth continuing and taking the time required to make it look good. Thank you, guys! You have all been so thoughtful and patient, and I greatly appreciate it!

2. Think carefully about which reviews to include. Not groaned over my initial selection, which probably took an hour to do and had no structure whatsoever. She encouraged me to group the reviews by style and type of book, after which I saw that some things were grossly overrepresented. Even if bashing Twilight is the Goodreads national sport, I didn't need this many examples of the genre. And much as I love writing about Flaubert, Proust, Wittgenstein and Kasparov, it's likely that the average reader will not share my enthusiasms to the same degree.

3. Acquire at least a smattering of knowledge regarding copyright. As I now understand it, most quoted text that might appear in a Goodreads review should be covered by the rules on Fair Use. I found the following passage from this page helpful:

Section 107 contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Section 107 also sets out four factors to be considered in determining whether or not a particular use is fair:

- The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes

- The nature of the copyrighted work

- The amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole

- The effect of the use upon the potential market for, or value of, the copyrighted work

The distinction between fair use and infringement may be unclear and not easily defined. There is no specific number of words, lines, or notes that may safely be taken without permission. Acknowledging the source of the copyrighted material does not substitute for obtaining permission.

The 1961 Report of the Register of Copyrights on the General Revision of the U.S. Copyright Law cites examples of activities that courts have regarded as fair use: "quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment; quotation of short passages in a scholarly or technical work, for illustration or clarification of the author's observations; use in a parody of some of the content of the work parodied..."

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that copyrighted images are generally not easy to include: the problem is that you'll be using the whole image, rather than just an illustrative part of it. Martha, my talented cover artist, had put together the following very attractive cover:



But, alas, the Estate of E.H. Shepherd thought this was an "inappropriate" use of Pooh Bear's image and politely but firmly refused to grant me permission. I didn't even get that far with Penguin (Jemima Puddle-Duck) or Gallimard (the Little Prince), who still haven't given me any clear answers. Not, in her capacity as excutive editor, made the sensible but painful decision to go for a simpler solution.

So there have been a few rough moments, but all in all I found this an interesting and rewarding experience. And now, I hardly need add, I'm curious to see if anyone is going to buy it! It's available from this Lulu page.

[Paul Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately necessary postscript added

***


In Manny's foreword he writes about Goodreads

At first I couldn’t really see the point of entering all your books on an internet database, writing reviews of them, and comparing them with reviews other people had written . . . but, remarkably quickly, I found I had become an addict. I have now posted well over a thousand reviews….
So what is the point, you may ask? I’m not quite sure I can explain, but let me try. Your first reaction, if you’re a sensible person, is that it’s silly: how can you possibly think of something new and interesting to say about Hamlet, or Jane Eyre, or even Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? But every person reads the book in their own way and has their own associations; to themselves, to the people they know, to other books they’ve read. Writing about a book is a way of writing about your whole life

How true this is. So perhaps this is a good moment to ask what Goodreads is and what it has been doing for the last few years. Which is to say what we have been doing. Or haven't.

For me there are two big things we aren't

1) we aren't professional – the pros come in two sizes, the professional reviewers who you read in the Sunday papers or in the LRB/NYRB; and the lit crits. The first lot are I think getting worried by all this online reviewing. I've read a couple of articles asking if they have a future – why trust a professional reviewer who you know is a novelist moonlighting for extra dosh as a reviewer of novels written by people she might well have had … lunch with that very day - why not trust a fellow reader with no axe to grind? As for the lit crits, you have to have a gun at your head to read most of them.

and

2) we aren't Amazon - there are still many great reviews on Amazon but it isn't a community, and strangely, patchily, goodreads is. I've noticed there are almost no idiots on goodreads whereas you can't move on Amazon for grossly misspelled ranting by people who don't get out much.


More from Manny :

I don’t want to make exaggerated claims for Goodreads. Like
all social network sites, it’s a tremendous time-waster. People
have bitchy conversations and fight for meaningless status rewards
(there is intense competition to see who receives most
votes for their reviews).

Also true. I've even written one review in the form of a begging letter for more votes. And given the enormous popularity of YA and romance fiction unsurprisingly the famous Top/Best lists are sclerotically clogged with YA/romance lovers and the all time best reviews list constipated with Twilight parodies which will remain there until goodreads freezes over. So the lists are only partially useful/fun. In chart terms there have always been R&B charts, dance charts, folk charts, country charts (no one buys enough jazz for them to bother). GR could do with YA top 50s, romance top 50s and SENSIBLE top 50s. What we have at the moment is democracy gone mad.

The vote-grabbing does tend to tempt certain persons into bad ways, though, it must be admitted. My third-most popular "review" is of New Moon, just some cute things Georgia (daughter aged 12 at that point) said about the books and the movies. I have no intention of reading New Moon but I knew people would like to read her observations and they did. And sometimes I think all I do is comedy reviews, which isn't good, or reading something because I think I can get a funny review out of it, which is worse. I should delete those. You can see some people flogging themselves to do a really thoughtful piece on some big serious history book and getting three votes. Must be disheartening.

I'd take issue with Manny about time-wasting, however. Was it a waste of time for him to take the idea of the Celebrity Death Match and transform it into the surreal caravanserai of readerly lunacy it became last year? No – who would not want to reead about Jane Eyre beating down Winnie the Pooh and leaving him stuffed half in and half out of a storm drain?

And in general, speaking for myself, I was always a big reader but I never liked the chocolate-box aspect of reading, just gobbling up one book after another. I like to discuss and debate the thing of words which just passed through my brain. I like to figure it out if I can. But I don't know anyone in real life who also likes to do that. Or if I do, they're reading other stuff. And book clubs don't work for me either because they have so many rules – you have to read a book everyone agrees to – but I only want to read the books I want to read when I want to read them. Is that unreasonable? No! On goodreads someone is always reading the book I'm interested in. Imagine if you're living in a foreign country, you don't speak the language, you're walking along the streets of the capital city, you turn down an unfamiliar road and there sprawled out across the pavement is one of those loud shouty cafes full of people who not only speak your language but grab you and sit you down and buy you a drink and tell you their latest theory about Bram Stoker. That's what this place is like. Something like that.

Oh yes, and Manny's book is really good, but you know you can read all that stuff for free online. Don't tell him I told you.


**

this was written before the GR minnow was swallowed by the blue whale of Amazon, and so point 2 above rings a little hollow now - but still, I'm in the blandly optimistic "they won't kill the goose that laid the golden egg" frame of mind at the moment.

[Kat Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you know Manny Rayner? Do you? DO YOU?!

If you're looking at reading this book then you probably should. This is a collection of his Goodreads reviews, brilliantly edited and organized into a cohesive, strangely comprehensive narrative.

Stop and think about that for a second. What would you come up with if you took your Goodreads reviews and tried to publish them? I know what I'd get and it would probably look like this:



And it would probably end up being a bunch of nonsensical scribbles with incoherent screaming and ranting written in my blood.

But that's the thing about Manny. He just spends so much damn time being interesting and intelligent. He almost never throws feces at random strangers. When he writes a review it is intensely interesting and when you put them all together they make sense, and they're excellent.

Manny is this Goodreads celebrity of sorts. He's been around the site forever and he somehow continues to be very popular despite not writing popularist material or reviewing big, common books. Interesting things about Manny:

-He once convinced me to read Madam Bovary.
-When I didn't like it he convinced me to read it in the original French.
-When my French was rusty, he sent me a care package of some French books to improve my reading comprehension enough to be able to read it in the original French.
-Once wrote a poem dedicated to my boobs (said poem is published in this book)
-He creates and propagates some of the most fun, and interesting activities on Goodreads like the Goodreads God Test and the Character Death Match

What would Pooh have said to Dante? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Can you reasonably imagine the answer to that question? Do you want to know? Then maybe check this book out. Particularly if you are looking at becoming a great reviewer, and if you want to see fun, wonderful and different ways to approach talking about literature. Because, frankly, Manny does things that nobody else does on this site and he does them brilliantly.

[Nandakishore Mridula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bertie Wooster and Jeeves meet Manny Rayner

It all started one evening when I returned back from the Drones to find Jeeves in the parlour, his nose deep in a book, smirking.

Now don't get me wrong. Jeeves doesn't laugh or giggle like us ordinary mortals. But the right corner of his mouth was turned up by one-eighth of an inch, which is equivalent to uncontrolled chortling in normal people, so I gathered that he was amused.

"Funny book, Jeeves?" I asked.

He stood up. "Extremely so, sir. It is the one by Mr. Manny Rayner you very kindly gifted me last Christmas, and I find it very diverting."

I remembered. Ever since Jeeves had joined that website with the funny name - yes, Goodreads, that's it - where people review and discuss books, he has been all praise for this Rayner chap. (I assumed he must be somebody like Jeeves who ate a lot of fish and whose head stuck out at the back, but when I saw his photograph, I must tell you I was let down - this bird looked like an Indian fakir, beard and all.) So when I found Rayner's book at the local store last December, I decided that it was the ideal Christmas present for Jeeves: and I was...(now what's the word? Not "grateful", no... yes, "gratified", that's the baby!) gratified to hear that he was enjoying it.

"You really enjoy this Manny's reviews?"

"Very much, sir. I must say that he has an extremely droll way of writing."

"I must read it then. Will you lend it to me when you are finished?"

"Of course, sir."

Then I made one of those rash plunges which usually land me in trouble.

"Perhaps, Jeeves, I could review it on Goodreads after reading it."

Jeeves did not say anything, but his left eyebrow went up by one-sixteenth of an inch, and I could sense scepticism.

"Well, Jeeves? You think I cannot do it? That such a simple thing is beyond my capability?"

He was all apologies. "No, sir. Indeed, I did not say anything."

But I was not going to let go. "But your silence indicated as much. Well, I will remind you that I write. I once contributed a piece to Aunt Dahlia's magazine Milady's Boudoir."

"Of course, sir. Your talents in that direction are established."

Did I detect sarcasm? I was miffed. "Well, Jeeves, I will jolly well thank you to hand me that book after you finish with it, and you will see my review on Goodreads soon."

***

You see how I get into spots. Jeeves has now given me the book: I have waded through half of it, and I am plain lost. I don't understand half of what this Rayner chap is talking about. If you ask me, he is off his onion.

The worst thing is, I have to post a blasted review!

***
Bertie Wooster's Review

Well, I guess I have to write a review - so here it is, for what it is worth.

Funny thing is, this book is a collection of book reviews this blighter Manny has posted over the Goodreads site since he began infesting the place - yet none of them are what you expect when somebody tells you that what you are about to read is a "review". I mean, I expect book reviews to go like this:

"The Peril of the Red Hand by Rex West is a super book. There is this bart who gets knocked off in his country home. The suspects are his nephew Raymond, niece Beatrice, sister Daphne and a suspicious house guest who goes by the name of Pavarotti. There are a large number of clues, a lot of red herrings, a sinister heiress and a faceless fiend. Inspector Murdoch is at the top of his form here... and you will never guess until the last chapter that it was Burwash the butler who did it."

I guess you get the drift. Straight, and to the point - you will immediately know whether to spend five quid on this.

Well, the reviews in this book are nothing of the sort. It seems that this Rayner chap cannot get anything straight. Half of the time, he mixes up two books - the other half, he writes things which have nothing to do with the book he is talking about.

(Jeeves told me this is called "impressionistic criticism", and done a lot on Goodreads. It appears that there was a big hullabaloo there last year when the management of the website kicked against this practice. Jeeves said that Manny Rayner and his friends "successfully led a revolt". Is this guy a bolshevik? I wouldn't put it past him, with that beard.)

It seems that Rayner thinks that the Bible is science fiction: and he has reviewed a story about Sherlock Holmes that I could not find anywhere in the Conan Doyle collection. He must have surely made it up. What did I say? The man is absolute bonkers.

Now I will let Jeeves post his review.

***

Jeeves's Review

I was quite amused at Mr. Wooster's review. It seems that he did not like the book at all. That was only to be expected: Mr. Wooster is a very pleasant young gentleman, but his mental capacity is definitely not of the highest order.

This book, even though it is called a collection of reviews, are not book reviews of the kind one would expect. Mr. Manny Rayner has his own idiosyncratic way of writing, combining irony, pastiche and burlesque. He sometimes reviews a novel in the same style that novel is written - Alice in Wonderland is one that immediately springs to mind - and sometimes he combines two dissimilar works together, like 1984 and Lolita, to produce a startling yet somehow not unpleasant effect. The way he combined Sherlock Holmes and The Little Prince, I think, shows his mastery of the medium of the written word.

A droll idea that Mr. Rayner has initiated is the "Celebrity Death Match". It is an imagined duel between two books. The contrasts among the different narratives and the battle of different philosophies are brought out in a quaint way. I especially enjoyed the fight between Atlas Shrugged and The Railway Children.

My main caveat with the book is that it is sometimes too flippant while reviewing philosophy. A more serious tone would have helped in inducting novices into the field, so that they can also have the pleasure of reading the masters such as Spinoza.

Overall, a very worthwhile addition to one's library.

(I noticed Mr. Wooster commenting on Mr. Rayner's appearance a couple of times. I regret to say that in this aspect, I agree with him: Mr. Rayner should learn to take better care of his toilette. One of these days, I have to speak to his valet.)

[Mariel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Day one: This guy has been reading the same paragraph in this Steve Jobs book for an hour. I've been watching this guy reading the same paragraph in this Steve Jobs book for an hour. I try to catch his eye to make some witty remark about how dull airport bookstore selections are but he won't look at me. He's too busy trying to catch the eye of the chick who has been holding one of the Twilight books in her lap for the last hour. "Steve Jobs sure is lame, isn't he?" Nothing. "I bet they write these things beforehand so they'll be ready when they croak." I didn't even get an impressed look over the classy classic in my own lap. What about my clever book talk? Well, someone must have heard me- I bet it was Steve Jobs- because then the plane took a hell hath no fury like a computer biz pioneer downturn and now I'm stuck here. Malfunction my ass!

Day two: Somehow I'm the sole survivor of the plane crash. I'm sure you've heard of it. Search parties had to have been arranged to look for me. Steve Jobs lawsuits, and what nots. I can't hide here forever. I've had to hide from charter planes. Or it could have been a wild boar stepping on a twig. The mind plays tricks on you when you've been marooned for months on end. Maybe they were internet pirates. I should have tried to contact them. I'm probably like the legendary figure of cool to their kind. I'm going to die here.

Day three: They won't find me because no one could have heard of this dingy ass island. It's asscrack underwear riding hot. I'm a corpse that keeps on growing after its dead. Hairy and Rip Van Winkle if he didn't sleep but still had an excess of hair. Who would want to come here just to look for me? See you in hell just sounds good as a retort.

Day three, later: I'm so bored. I've retold myself every book I've ever read. It's worse than hearing your own voice in your head when you read aloud and you sound worse than those kids in elementary school who read too slowly and needed the teacher's help with pronunciation of every word. God dammit, I'm so damned bored. Help! SOS! How do you make a radio out of a coconut?

Day three, even later: I've become one of the natives. If there were other natives I would be one of them. I have killed a wild boar, skinned it and turned its hide or leather or whatever into leather or whatever. I should probably learn the native language for those whatevers. But I have serious native people skills! I smelted a knife out of precious metals and then I cut shapes out of my leather. I killed some squid and used its ink to dye a diamond shape pattern on a ball shape. THEN I shaved my armpits that have longer hair than my hair (had an accident learning to make fire) by now and then I made a glue out of my own sweat and sand and stuck the hair onto the surface of my new man that looks kind of like a face. I call him Manny because he's kind of a man. He's not that cute because his hair is nappy like the hair off of a dog's butt. What do you expect on a deserted island? We don't exactly have high end salons here. He's a person same as you! Who are you to judge? It's what's inside that counts.

Day three, slightly later: I rub Manny's beard when I feel thoughtful. The Manny smiles and looks witty when I talk to it about books. He's read everything I've read. He always has something interesting to say that I would never have thought of on my own. He seems to say "That bitch!" in the appropriate places and when it gets after hours shares smutty French stories about a vice cop. Unfortunately, Manny doesn't like Harry Potter and sometimes I get mad at him and threaten to throw him into the ocean. Then I have to run back into the waters and fish him out. My armpits have grown more hair and he gets a new beard. The beard is always more thoughtful after every resurrection. It is also more dog butt looking after every resurrection. Manny always knows which book had what in it, and he always wins at chess. Manny is my desert island library. I wouldn't smile at all on this deserted beach with nothing but a Steve Jobs biography and the Twilight saga to read. I've spun glass into bottles and sent out his smiles of all the books I have lived out loud through Manny onto the sea waters. They come back empty and I am pretty sure they weren't just eaten by Manny-eating fish. If you put your ear to the bottle openings you can hear laughter from the sea.

Day four: My coconut radio is ready and I can almost pick up Deejay Ian's station if I sit on the mountain side. Manny likes Deejay Ian and so do I. Now I can finally tell him what's what about how awesome Harry Potter is. Uh oh, he doesn't seem to be smiling now.

Day five: One of my bottles came back with a subpoena. Thankfully I will be able to recreate Manny on the prison's walls. I've become Macguyver after my day in the system. I just need a razor and some tape and... I think he'll be safe from the bitches. I don't know for sure, though. It's a popularity contest in those places, I've heard. The prison library only has Steve Jobs and the Twilight saga. We can take them. We've killed Mary Poppins, Hamlet, Jane Eyre, Winnie the Pooh and Macbeth. Steve Jobs would probably say it wouldn't have been possible without his computers and that's true. But it wouldn't have been nearly as fun without Manny.

[Ian "Marvin" Graye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anticipatory Injunction

His Honour Mr. Justice Graye:

This book passes itself off as the incomplete published works of a soon to be tried and true Renaissance Manny.

As we speak, it is safe in police custody, winging its way to this Court, in transit, sic, across Gloria's Mundi, but hopefully not air or sea sic.

When it eventually arrives on one of this Nation's four shores, I will eagerly prosecute the Plaintiff's case for it, patiently listen to Defence arguments, sit on them briefly, get down, get up again, toy with Counsel, determine which of them was meant for the Theatre, inspect their vanity case in detail, file the Defendant's guilt edge, assess various pleas in mitigation and pronounce a sentence.

Over the years, I've found there are myriad possible sentences. Regrettably, not all of them are perfect or suitable for the occasion.

So, at this early stage, I haven't determined which particular sentence to impose. After all, Justice must be seen to be done.

Ultimately, however, it's not the choice of sentence that counts, but how you pronounce it.

If I can't pronounce it without a colonial accent, I will feign a French one, perhaps one of my favourite grave accents.

Alternatively, I could try an accent with a lilt (appropriate to a situation where the long sharp blade of Criminal Justice must be buried to the hilt).

If that doesn't work, I'll resort to a cute accent.

And if that fails to make sufficient judicial impact, I'm afraid Justice will have to be seen, but not heard.

Whatever, Justice will be well and truly done.

Silence, Justice is in season and this Court is in session.


Substantive Hearing (One Week Later)

His Honour Mr. Justice Graye:

The Facts

The case of Rayner vs. Melbourne Airport Storage Pty Ltd and Comptroller of Australian Customs comes to me in odd circumstances.

Mr Rayner is a UK citizen who resides in Switzerland. In his idle time, he writes reviews of books for a social networking and community website called “GoodReads”.

He has published a collection of his reviews in paper form, which is the subject of these proceedings.

Mr Rayner imported 20,000 copies of his book into Australia through Melbourne Airport, legitimately I must add.

When they arrived, they were intended to be stored briefly at facilities owned by Melbourne Airport Storage, before being shipped to the Tristero warehouse in North Melbourne for distribution within Australia as required by the vagaries of the market.

Upon arrival, the First Defendant drew the shipment to the attention of the Second Respondent, Australian Customs, as it is obliged to do.

The Second Respondent proceeded to levy Customs Duty on the books. In accordance with accepted principles, it calculated the Duty at the rate of two percent of the market value of the books (rather than their retail value of $20 per copy).

The total Levy with respect to the shipment amounted to A$17.50, which is not a large sum and initially (without the benefit of Counsel's guidance) seemed to me to be a generous assessment.

The First Defendant paid this amount and has sought to recover it from the Plaintiff.

The initial problem is that, when converted into English pounds at the prevailing rate, the Levy amounts to 35,000 pounds.

Mr Rayner is reluctant to pay this amount.

The First Defendant is therefore exercising its rights to retain the books as Bailee and refuses to surrender them to Mr Rayner, until he reimburses it for the Levy.

Mr Rayner is seeking recovery of the books, as well as challenging the amount of the Levy imposed by the Second Respondent.

Counsel

I am extremely grateful to the two Counsel who have represented the parties and so ably assisted me in this case.

While little differentiates their efforts, it is my solemn duty to assess the relative merits of their appeal.

The Defendants were amply represented by Ms. Megan Fox.

She was draped in an attractive little red number, cut off above the knee in such a manner as to more than meet my expectations of any Counsel.

The Plaintiff was represented by Ms. Oedipa Maas.

She was dressed more soberly in a navy blue skirt and ruffled white blouse, the top two buttons of which were fetchingly left open, in order to reveal, amongst other items, an elegant necklace which spelled the word W.A.S.T.E.

I do not purport to say I know the significance of this symbol. At least, I cannot do so in open court.

All I can say is that, on the whole, the arguments of the Plaintiff rewarded my close scrutiny marginally more than those of the Defendants.

The Arguments

As it turned out, the case largely turned on the assessment of the literary and financial value of Mr Rayner’s book.

I will summarise the arguments now, as paradoxical as they might seem.

Ms. Fox argued that the book had little literary merit, but that its financial value was not to be determined on this basis.

She submitted that its value derived from its entertainment value.

It was common ground that the book was highly entertaining.

Ms. Fox submitted that the public appreciates entertainment value, no matter what the objective cost of production might be, let alone the literary or cultural value.

She gave the example of televised nude female mud wrestling.

This activity, of which I was not previously aware, apparently has an enormous following on cable television.

It does not require a script, it needs little in terms of facilities, all it requires is ample-bosomed women sans clothing or other adornments and accessories. Ms. Fox struck me as someone who might add value to the sport.

Nevertheless, the televising of the activity generates substantial revenue for the television network and the production company.

Ms. Fox submitted that the value of Mr Rayner’s book should be determined on this basis.

She hinted that the Second Defendant might wish to reconsider the amount of the Levy upon an audit of the sales of the book.

Unfortunately, she tendered no evidence of Mr Rayner’s sales, nor was Ms Maas tempted by Ms Fox’s taunts to reveal any figures, other than her own admittedly attractive one.

Ms Maas, on the other hand, suggested that the book's entertainment value derives only from its literary and humourous value, and that accordingly no financial value should be attributed to the book.

Having read the book in detail, in fact cover to cover, I find that Ms Maas is correct in her assessment of the merits of the book.

It is a good read, it is insightful, it is hilarious, it is something for which I would be happy to supply a blurb for the second edition.

However, I also find myself agreeing with Ms Maas’ submissions with respect to its financial value.

In fact, I find that, rather than having a retail value of $20 per copy, its market value is the princely sum of Nil.

I do not mean this to detract from an assessment of the physical resources that went into the production of this analogue work.

The argument of Ms Maas that most impressed me was her submission with respect to the co-existence of the GoodReads website.

It costs a member nothing to join this website and to enjoy its privileges, if they can be called that.

Thousands of book reviews, possibly millions, are hosted there, available for consumption, if not necessarily digestion, by a member, all of it for free.

I infer that the proprietors of GoodReads derive some modest income from the activities on the website.

However, once again, in the absence of admissible evidence, I cannot place a dollar value on the amount.

Therefore, despite the visual appeal of Ms Fox’ arguments and despite the paradoxical fact that this argument as to value comes from Mr Rayner’s own Counsel, I must assume that one of Mr Rayner’s book reviews has no financial value, and therefore I must make the same finding with respect to the collection as a whole.

The value of the whole cannot be any greater than the sum of its parts.

This book cannot pull itself up by its own bootstraps.

The Findings

Having observed both Counsel extremely closely, I am compelled to find that the market value of Mr Rayner’s efforts is precisely Nil.

Having found this, I must make the consequential finding that the appropriate Customs Duty on this shipment should be reduced to an equivalent amount, namely Nil.

The result of this finding is that the First Defendant is entitled to a refund of the Levy paid by it, purportedly on behalf of the Plaintiff.

If the result is that it has made no payment on behalf of Mr Rayner, then it can have no right of bailment against his goods.

Mr Rayner is therefore entitled to the return of his shipment, without any payment on his behalf.

I have no doubt that this will leave the Plaintiff to his apparent folly of trying to sell his books and recover his financial investment.

Good luck to Mr Rayner.

I should like to assist him, within the framework of appropriate remunerative arrangements.

Orders

I make the following orders:

1. that the Second Defendant amend its Levy to Nil and refund the sum of $17.50 to the First Defendant;

2. that the First Defendant deliver the Plaintiff’s books to him upon demand, at the offices of Tristero or at such other place in Melbourne as he shall nominate;

3. that, in order to make a contribution to the significant costs of the administration of Justice in this nation, the Plaintiff forfeit 4,000 copies of his book to this Court, to be made available for distribution to various Amicus Curiae and other Friends of the Court.

I invite Counsel to join me in my Chambers for a drink or two and a little nibble.

[MJ Nicholls · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an entirely new thing—a book of (and about) paratexts. A book about the chatter of books: the reviews, commentaries, responses around texts. And here I am poised to contribute to the paratexts around this book of paratexts. Is a revolution stirring within these pages? Or is this some sinister catalogue of subliminal advertising filtered from the digital culture into our precious print-space? Let us explore.

I am reviewing a book of book reviews. In these book reviews, the reviewer, Manny Rayner—author of New York Times Bestsmellers Putting Lubricants into Speech Recognition: The Vulvar Grammar Compiler and The Smokin’ Language Translator—pronounces on various categories of literature, from children’s classics to pop trash to dearly beloved classics. At face value, this is merely a compilation of erudite reviews from a man committed to popularising his responses to literature online. But look deeper.

You are being sucked into a subtle matrix, what the postmodernists call a “recursive loop,” where a narrative finds itself trapped in endless hall of mirrors. As you read, you begin to notice how Manny’s reviews expand outside the texts being discussed—sometimes digressing from the original texts completely, like a new bacteria evolving from its host. Your response to his responses will leave you hungry for responses to your response to his responses and so on like some perpetual conga line of literary sodomy. Soon you will find yourself trapped in this Mannyworld where all that matters are the carefully worded responses to books. So: is this book is the end of books?

Flash forward four years from now, where Manny’s review of the latest Philip Roth is the number one bestseller on Amazon. Philip Roth hasn’t written the book but Manny knows the content of this nonbook from the preceding Philip Roths—yenta and fucking—and can deliver a withering 200-word slapdown in his usual amiable style, safe from mailbombs since no once can tell if he’s American, French, British or Norwegian. The discourse has eaten the discoursed. This is when the authors will have their revenge.

To knock Manny, karen, Bryant and co from their perches the authors write perfect lampoons of their reviews and these reviews themselves become the most popular, returning the authors to their previous place as online nonentities. But nothing can stop the recursive loop except the passing of time—the authors whose texts were parodied will die out, along with the reviewers—there remains no new literary material to write about outside the reviews, all literature has slid out of print. The future is reviews about nothing. The future is an endless oneupmanship to see who can write the wittiest, most popular 200-word capsule review on fuck-all. This is Manny’s fault.

But what about the present? Even if you dislike his brand of smarter-than-thou humour, you have to admit Manny is an important ventricle behind Goodreads (the one linking the brain to the heart, say, or to the bowels). Who else would read Twilight, Harry Potter and Angels & Demons solely for the chance to write snarky, erudite, silly, reviews? Or to impart complex info about chess, linguistics or French grammar?

Sure, he has his flaws: he won’t read your recommendations unless they were already on his reading list. He won’t read works in translation so he won’t read anything in the vast canon of European (except France and Norway), South American or Asian literature. He rarely dips his toe into American postmodernism (or anything from the Dalkey Archive) and always posts reviews of obscure things he read in his younger days. As for this volume, I am partial to the parodies—selections include Beckett, Orwell, Nabokov, Milton, Proust and Austen and various mash-ups. And the dialogues raised the most titters too. So for now, sip slowly on the volume, but watch out for that recursive loop. It cometh.

[Manny · Rating 3 out of 5]

In response to innumerable queries from MJ and other people, this cheap, tacky PDF edition is now available to people who want to post sarcastic reviews without substantially affecting their bank balance.

Can be ordered from the relevant Lulu page. But I tell you, it's no substitute for the real thing.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't write reviews for friends. So this is not a review, as Manny is my friend.

We speak (well, write) Swedish sometimes, so he is a special friend as well, sharing experience of the strange little corner of the world I call home (sort of).

Why did I read this? Because I love books, I love Goodreads, I agree with Manny's definition of a review and a reviewer?

No.

I read it for the strange reason that I happened to say in a comment thread somewhere that I think the New Testament is science fiction. As a devoted Ariadne, I followed the thread through the labyrinth, and at a road crossing, I saw Manny holding up a sign. It said "Turn left", so I did, being a bit of an Alice in Wonderland as well, and the path led to Manny's reflections on the same topic, as described in this collection. "Eat this", was the next instruction, and things unfolded in front of me that I hadn't bargained for:

Incredibly amusing, intelligent comparative literary criticism outside the boundaries of traditional academia! Like a journey in the Wonderland of the written world, slightly surreal and witty.

What this collection does, more than anything else, is shedding light on a new phenomenon for us helpless, hopeless bookworms. Over decades, I collected stories in my head, often without any communication partners in real life. After all, who in my family or workplace wants to fight with me over my preference for Inferno over Paradiso? Who wants to giggle hysterically at Winnie Pooh's adventures with Piglet and Rabbit and all the others? Who wants to share Oscar Wilde quotes, and compare historical characters? Who understands my rage against Uriah Heep or the Alchemist?

Reading has always been a somewhat solitary pleasure. Even those lucky enough to live in a literary environment have to accept that most people don't like the same books, and are unlikely to be able to discuss Dickens or Zola or Sophocles or Dante or Shakespeare when you happen to feel like it.

Goodreads changed all that. It opened up a new world of book talks, beyond the tedious etiquette of scholarly discussions (they almost turned me against reading at the end of my master degree, being focused so much more on nomenclature than inspiration).

For example, if I choose to read Russell, like I did yesterday evening, I will find friends who are willing to spontaneously discuss him today - that only happens on Goodreads!

And Manny excels at discussing what he reads. His love for comparing and contrasting reading experience and thinking outside the box of genres and topics make his reviews brilliant starting points for further reading, thinking and talking.

This collection is a love declaration for sharing and communicating books!

Tack så mycket, Manny!

[Cecily · Rating 4 out of 5]

WHY?
I loved this witty, varied and challenging collection, as I knew I would, having read many of Manny's reviews and comments before. So why did I shell out money for a physical version?

Primarily it was because I have a visceral affection for the physical form of books, and, I suppose, for ownership of them. Having bought and read it, I found other advantages: I studied reviews I wouldn't otherwise have glanced at (especially of books I haven't read, some of which I may now read), without the distraction of seeing their star ratings, and I then went to the original on GR to view comments, so completing the slightly surreal circle.

There are enough GoodReads in-jokes to please those who spot them (not that I necessarily spotted them all), but they are not so numerous or noticeable as to be off-putting to those unfamiliar with GR, Manny or some of his GR friends.

Manny also tackles the "why?" question at the outset, in a Foreword explaining why he published it, and in a typically self-deprecating, Devil's Dictionary-style definition: "review, v.i. Demonstrate, through a short essay, appreciation for one's own wit."

HOW?
It's tricky to review a review, let alone such a diverse collection of reviews. Whatever I write will suffer in comparison with the source, but I'll try to conjure a shadow of its flavour.

I guess Manny could be accused of over-analysing and of taking some lightweight books too seriously and heavy ones too flippantly. I think there is some truth in that, as long as you omit "over" and "too": the insights (and fun) derived from such an approach actually demonstrate the merits of it.

WHAT?
As you'll have gathered by now, this is a collection of Manny's reviews on GoodReads. They cover the range of his styles, including: pastiche, straight, one story in the style of another, hybrid/Celebrity Death Match, reading blog, experimental, and meta/GoodRead thingumywatchit. A few examples of what you will read:

* Contrasting the "appalling tragedy" of Andersen's "Little Mermaid" with the "relentlessly upbeat" Disney version, in a single review, using strikethough text to show where Disney differs.

* Why the success of "Harry Potter" was presaged by "Animal Farm".

* A review of Proust that is a full page, but a single - and unfinished - sentence.

* "Jemimia Puddleduck", rewritten as a French trash novel (not for the children).

* A happier version of Hamlet, for "Twilight" fans.

* A spokily plausibly way of combining "1984" and "Lolita".

* A pastiche of "Dorian Grey", with two characters planning a GR review, and so analysing the story, with one observing "The epigrams are the only serious part of the book. The rest is at best melodramatic nonsense."

* "The History Boys" having a lesson in which they're discussing the meaning of their own play.

* A fascinating review of "Finnegans Wake" where Manny demonstrates his professional knowledge of software for analysing grammar to generate, not a random sequence of words, but random "words". The result is nearly, but not quite, recognisable as language, and is oddly poetic. ("It calculates statistics for the frequencies of each letter condition on the three preceding ones.")

* The New Testament is reviewed in superficially flippant tones, but is thoughtful enough that it ought not to cause offence to those who bother to read it in its entirety and consider it properly. It starts, "A wonderfully ambitious science fiction novel; the author boldly attempts to imagine what it would be like to meet an emissary from an alien culture that was both technologically, and, more interestingly, morally, far superior to our own."

* The review of the Old Testament is more straightforward, but just as thought-provoking.

I think you need a passing familiarity with the books reviewed, but you don't need to have read them all to enjoy the book. The review of the French version of "How To Talk About Books You Haven't Read" explains it well (and has the best punch line, which you'll have to get the book to see): "There are plenty of books you haven't, literally, read, but which you know well enough to discuss sensibly. In the other direction, there are books where you painstakingly went cover to cover, yet understood nothing, because you weren't sufficiently attuned to their literary surroundings."

WHEN?
Finding this will make Christmas shopping for 2013 a little easier, as I know several people who would enjoy it (even though they're not on Good Reads), plus a second collection should be published before then, so I'll be able to give them in pairs.

WHO?
After all the question sections, "Who?" is more or less required, so here's Manny's page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/..., and here are his shelves: http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/...

PS
Lest all the above sound too laudatory, I do have a minor criticism: I think (almost) all non-fiction books should have an index, and although the review titles are listed in the table of contents, that doesn't include authors. It would be great if the second edition had an alphabetical index by title and author (and would thereby deserve the fifth star I was tempted to give).

A second collection is now available, If Research were Romance": http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

[Traveller · Rating 5 out of 5]

UPDATE: Goodreads has now openly declared war on authors and reviewers alike.
They have deleted some of this author's reviews, along with a spate of other reviewer's reviews, which they arbitrarily decided did not go along with their new policy guidelines which give Goodreads staff the go-ahead to delete content including shelves that they disagree with.

Manny reports:

"
The review below was deleted by Goodreads, along with two others. I received the following message:

Re: [#104307] Deleted Reviews
Goodreads
To Me
Oct 11 at 8:41 PM
Hello Manny,

Your reviews of the following books were recently flagged by Goodreads members as potentially off-topic:

That's Not What I Meant!
Civil Disobedience and Other Essays (Collected Essays)
The Hydra

As the reviews are not about the books in question, they have been removed from the site. You can find the text of the reviews attached for your personal records.

Please note that if you continue to post content like this, your account may come under review for removal.

Sincerely,
The Goodreads Team "


Back to the original review:
A postmodern metatext on which the reviews are almost as funny as the book.

A longer review to be added piecemeal, in collage form and as and when I feel like it. (Since I only got the book now)

Oh, which reminds me that I should come forward with a full disclosure; being that the author of this book shamelessly tried to bribe me into giving him a ...
whazzat?

..an abusive review?
Hmmm...... that might be a tall order, Manny Rayner, a tall order indeed.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I joined the Goodreads community in January 2013. Dutifully I added the 350 books I kept in a private database for years and read some of the reviews of these books. Before long I noticed a bearded man from Switzerland who read many of “my” books too and gave them a similar rating. In fact it was almost like some sort of a “hare and hedgehog” experience to me. On almost every book page I visited I discovered the beard-man on or near the top of the review list shouting “Ick bün all dor” [“I’m already here!”] into my face.

I quickly discovered the reason why his reviews are so popular: They are highly entertaining while at the same time remarkably instructive. It seems like Manny Rayner (that’s the name behind the beard in case you wonder) is a jack-of-all-trades. He is reading all kinds of books imaginable. From classics to pulp, from science monographs to picture books, and even rated and reviewed a language dictionary once. Any why not?

The style in which the reviews are written is impossible to pin down. You’ll find poems, little plays, short stories, and essays to name but just a few. Often times the style of review matches the one of the book in question, like a parody and/or homage. Then we have celebrity death matches, some sort of double-reviews, in which two totally different books are thrown into the ring to fight each other. Hilarious! I don’t always get the relevance of the reviews and how they relate to the book being reviewed. You could call those reviews “off-topic” (and some humorless commentators sometimes do), but for me this doesn’t matter at all. I simply like Manny’s holistic approach and his thinking outside of the box.

So, if you are wasting time on Goodreads (like me) instead of reading good books, you might just as well do it in style by reading Manny’s reviews and review-books. It’s the most pleasurable chronophagic experience!


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

[Warwick]

This is a great book. I wanted to quote one bit from the author's oeuvre in particular that I loved:

In the shower just now, I suddenly had a Eureka moment. The aspect of this current censorship war that's been upsetting us most is the feeling of powerlessless. Goodreads can arbitrarily change the rules, and they hardly even bother to respond when we complain. But we are not powerless. There are twenty million of us, and only a few dozen of them. We just need to get a little more organized, and we can easily resist.

So here's one concrete way to do it, based on the legend of Hercules. You will recall that Hercules had a difficult time against the Lernean Hydra; every time he cut off one of its heads, ten more grew back. We can do the same thing if we adopt the following plan:

1. Back up all your reviews, so that you have a copy of everything you have posted.

2. If you think that one of your reviews has been unreasonably deleted by Goodreads, repost it with an image of the Hydra at the top.

3. If you see someone else posting a Hydra review, make a copy of it and post it yourself.

We can improve this basic scheme with a little thought; for example, it would be better to have a place where we keep HTML marked-up source of reviews, so that they can immediately be reposted with the same formatting, and we need a plan for duplicating deleted shelves. But we can sort that out later. Without getting too bogged down in the details, I'm sure you see what will happen. The net result of Goodreads unreasonably deleting a review will be that it immediately comes back in many different places.

People who know their Greek mythology will be aware that Hercules did in fact defeat the Hydra, and Goodreads can use the same method if they dare; they can close down the account of anyone who participates in the scheme. That will work, but I am not sure that anything less drastic will be effective. I think Goodreads will be reluctant to escalate to this level. A large proportion of the most active reviewers are now part of the protest movement, and they would be losing much of the content that makes the site valuable. Even more to the point, the media have already started to get interested (maybe you saw the article in the Washington Post). They would love the story, and it would create a mountain of bad publicity for Goodreads and Amazon.

I'd say the odds are heavily in our favor. Why don't we try it? I promise now to respond to any Hydra calls.

--------------------------

The question is whether I will read this based on the author's dubious reputation.

I see that a recent review from Kalliope made the terms-of-use-busting claim that "Manny is [...] Manny!" But are things really that simple? I cannot be the only person who has noticed the striking resemblance between our Goodreads titan and the popular comic-book-artist-cum-practising-magician Alan Moore:



I have it on good authority that the two of them have never been seen in the same room at the same time.

Is there something we should be told?


(Duly shelving as "due-to-author")

[Jessaka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eating an egg salad sandwich while reviewing Manny’s book, which in turn will leave egg on my face, but it can’t be helped, as I am rather messy.

Manny writes reviews for Goodreads, and this book contains those that he feels are his best. He also has a big following, and I was going to say “Huge” but that word has taken on a negative connotation in American politics this year, one in which he is very disappointed in, just as am I.

This book has been around for a while, and I thought it was just about Pooh and Dante, you know, philosophical stuff that I never was good in at college because my professor spoke broken English and the tests were mostly on his lectures, and you can’t take notes if you don’t know what is being said, much less take a test. Suffering philosophy. Just glad this book is just his reviews on Goodreads and not a philosophy book. Well, in a way it kind of is. It is Manny’s philosophy. I just wish his book had Cliff Notes.

Go Ask Alice. From this review of his I learned that there was no real Alice to ask; it was a propaganda book on drugs. If you take any drug you are hooked for life. My mother once told me to never allow a boy to kiss me because he would lose all control. Both the book and my mother lied. But maybe that is why I never took drugs; I wanted to know what was happening at all times.

And if you know what is happening all the time, then you would really like Manny’s book, but much of it is beyond my comprehension. Then at times he compares one book with another, creating most confusion in my mind.

So I basically just liked the simple books that he has reviewed, as well as his political rants, which are not in the book since it was written before ugly things were happening in America.

[Marvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Hey, guys! Here's another book Marvin left out."

Maslow, Ashley and Fanci mustered up their cattish curiosity and sniffed the book.

"Is it about cats?" asked Fanci.

"I don't think so" replied Ashley. "There appears to be a bear on the cover and it written by some one called M-A-N-N-Y ...

"MANNY!", Maslow jumped up and down as much as a cat that resembled a bowling ball with feet could. "Manny Rayner? I know Manny!"

"You do?"

Well..I know the name. That name comes up on that Goodreads web site usually just before Marvin starts banging his forehead on the desk and screams, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"So what does this Manny do?", asked Fanci.

"He writes reviews of books."

Fanci scoffs. "So? Anyone can do that."

"You think so, Tuna Brain?" Maslow said. "Let's hear you write a review."

Fanci rose to the challenge. "Name a book."

"Madame Bovary"

"Does she likes cats"

"How the hell would I know?"

"But that is the defining characteristic of a human. Either she likes cats or she doesn't"

"Let's try another. Pippi Longstocking."

"Does she like cats?"

"I'm fairly certain she does."

"Five stars. A classic of the genre. A must-read and highly recommended to those who like cats."

Ashley made a sound not unlike a pig coughing on a hairball. "Geez, I can do better than that."

"OK, ancient one", replied Fanci. Let's hear it"

Ashley cleared her throat and started reciting.

"A good review is more than a rating of stars and a recommend/don't recommend attitude. In What Pooh Might Have Said to Dante and Other Futile Speculations, Goodreads regular and book critic extraordinaire Manny Rayner asks the important questions and bring new insight to books as diverse as The Three Musketeers to The Holy Bible. While relentlessly humorous, the many reviews in this little book manages to explore the YA marketing of Harry Potter, rewrite Hamlet as a feel-good Twilight -like tale and speculate on the sci-fi aspects of the New Testament. While it may be a bit alarming to notice how many characters in a Rayner review are considering having sex, it is even more intriguing to see where these unique musings wander, always keeping the reader entertained."

Even Maslow was impressed. "Not bad for an over-aged hairball."

"Why, thank you, He-Who-Makes-Pooh-Look-Like-Twiggy."

Fanci asked, "But how did you make up such a distinct review when you haven't read the book?"

"Easy, I just read the words Marvin is typing right now on the computer."

"CHEATER!" Fanci and Maslow howled and chased Ashley under the sofa."

I breathed a sigh of relief and typed my review in peace.

[Roy Lotz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someplace, somewhere, someone is gearing up to write a dissertation on the intertextuality and layers of reference one finds in the reviews of this book. Think about what this is: Reviews of books, originally posted alongside other reviews, gathered into a book, taken out of their original context, only to be re-situated in said context, so that other people (including the author himself) can post reviews of the reviews, which will probably be commented on by the other reviewers. And when the doctoral student writes her dissertation on this, what will it be but another review? It’s reviews all the way down.

I admit, I was, for a while, hesitant to add my own mirror to this funhouse. I couldn’t justify reading a book of Goodreads reviews—since I spend all my idle time reading Goodreads reviews anyway. But I couldn’t fight the allure, I couldn’t resist the charm, and, before I knew it, Manny’s book was being flown through the air, was being driven in a truck, was being carried in a mailman’s bag towards my door.

Reading this book was pretty special for me because Manny was the first reviewer I ever started following. Before Goodreads, I would often be Googling books, and, of course, the Goodreads page would always be one of the first to pop up. At first, I scorned the site—as the idea of a book-centric social media site struck me as ridiculous. But my curiosity eventually got the better of me, and soon I was scrolling through reviews. Manny had top-rated reviews on many of the books I was interested in, so the rest followed naturally. Now I’m an addict.

So I think this is a good opportunity to reflect on both what I liked about this book and what I like about Goodreads. For it strikes me that Manny epitomizes much of the charm of this site; indeed, for me at least, Goodreads and Manny imply one another.

Perhaps the most striking thing about Manny is his eclecticism. He reviews science fiction, literature, poetry, philosophy, linguistics texts, popular science, more serious science, mathematics, religious books, anti-religious books—you name the genre, Manny’s been there. And through reading his reviews, one gets the impression that the man himself has done everything. He is trilingual, mathematically enlightened, and has done respected work in (if I’m not mistaken) linguistics and computer programming. Manny is also a skillful player in chess and Go (which I hadn’t heard of before).

Tied to this eclecticism is Manny’s linguistic flexibility. Manny actually has quite a gift with language. He can parody almost any genre under the sun, twisting his prose this way and that. This stylistic suppleness seems so effortless for him, so natural and unforced, that it’s easy to overlook how hard that is. For most people, writing convincingly in one style is challenge enough! But Manny even goes one further, and mashes up different styles and genres in his reviews, producing mélanges both hilarious and interesting.

But Manny isn’t merely an eclectic, eccentric pastiche virtuoso. No; what really sets him apart, I think, is his open-mindedness. Unlike other reviewers (myself included) who constantly overestimate what they know, Manny constantly downplays his own knowledge. He subdues his own prejudices and preconceptions, and makes an honest-to-goodness attempt to approach books free of bias. He’ll read anything, and go the ends of the earth to understand what the author was trying to say in their own terms. Even when he is writing a negative review—often of a book most people would either pass over with scorn or dismiss in half a sentence—Manny goes to great lengths to show the book’s best side.

Well, bravo Manny! And I hope I have learned the lesson, and showed your book’s best side.

And what is Goodreads, after all, but a place that celebrates the eclectic, that embraces the dilettante, that encourages the parody, and that, most of all, requires an open mind?

[Maren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mit der letzten Story "Pooh Bear meets The Divine Comedy" ging ein Buch mit ca. 84 amüsanten, geistreichen Storys zu Ende.
Manny Rayner gibt uns hier bei Goodreads immer wieder Kostproben seines Könnens, Ihr könnt ja mal schauen, wie abwechslungsreich er uns mit seinen Gedanken und Storys beschenkt.

Er kann nicht nur fantasievoll fabulieren, Emmanuel/Manny Rayner ist zudem Fidemeister im Schach.
Wie ungerecht die Begabungen verteilt sind 😁

[The Crimson Fucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

MANNY IS A FUCKING VOTE WHORE!!!!!!!

THERE! I SAID IT!!!!!

Never in my life I seen a more desperate attempt to get votes!!!!


He took vote whoring to a whole new level!!! He wrote a book to take you from the real world and drag you to the online world and vote for him!!!!!! What a bitch!!!!




Little known fact! Do any of ya’ll know that I’m forbidden to mass vote for Manny! One at the time it’s cool! But no mass voting!!! it has never bother me! Cuz fuck! The day I was about to mass vote his ass and drop a few thousand bounds on him I was asked by a friend not to! And the friend is cool people! So I promised not to ever ever do so!


It always made me wonder tho… why people hate Manny so much!???? And I*
Finally figured out why! Because he smarter than us!


GOD DAMN!!!!! THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS A NERD!!!!!!!!


I have never in my life seen such level of devotion to the little details that make a book a book! I’m not going to hide behind my usual wall of “I don’t know how to express myself” today! It is really simple! The level of nerd love that Manny drops on his parodies makes me think of a Simon Pegg movie! Or Seth Green and Matthew Senreich work on Robot Chicken! There is no other way to describe it! Its fun! Its smart! Its sexy! It takes pop cultural elements and make fun of them in a non-crude/mean manner! This part its going to be hard to explain! But I’ma try!!!!


I FUCKING LOVE MANNY’S PARODIES!!! The way he interacts with the characters and writers! The way he plays around with the plot elements and writing styles! His fictional discussion between crappy authors and good authors that said crappy authors think they honoring in their writing… the way he don’t seen to be taking himself so seriously! How he recognize his vote addiction and its not afraid to show it! His love for chess!!! His lack of understanding of the gamer mind! The way he even have his own fictional creation pawn his ass on a discussion almost made me fall of my chair laughing! His plays are fucking brilliant too!!!! Yo Manny! Remember your stuff white people like!? Turns out I ain’t white!!! You think that’s why I oppose the voting system the way I do!?

Still! Back to the book!!!


This is a must read!!!! And yet it promotes something I fucking hate!!! The goodreads voting system (which I have tried to destroy in several ocations!) now I find myself in the middle of fucked up paradox!!! I want to go find some of the reviews and vote for them and discuss them with Manny! But I hate the voting system! I want to make some reviews inspired by his parodies! But I hate getting votes!!! I want to go vote for him in mass! But there in a oath in the middle!!!! Dear god! My life is so sad!!!!!!


Still! Manny! My brother from another mother!!!!!! Thank you so much for this book! I honestly enjoyed to no end!


Also! It turns out that creating a different person inside your head and talking with it and losing arguments to it its not normal… either that or everyone I asked is laying to me!!!! And you and I are the only ones who do it!!!



*and by “I” I mean Esteban told me!

[notgettingenough · Rating 4 out of 5]

The completely disinterested opinion of the proofreader.

Not.

**********

In case anybody other than me is interested in the production process, a few comments on what you get from Lulu.

I was expecting something rather amateurish that looked like it had been done in somebody's back room. But leaving aside the fact that you can't get section sewn books, which is my strong preference, the finished product is excellent. You never know with perfect bound books, the name belies the facts, sometimes they fall apart instantaneously, sometimes they last 'for ever'. Having looked now at a few samples for proofing purposes, I'd say these will last quite well.

They have printing facilities in the US, the UK, Australia and France, so their shipping charges are local for the major English speaking parts of the world and this means it is quite quick to get copies. Oddly, ordering from Switzerland, the copies came from the US.

It is incredibly convenient, of course, only having to print copies to order. Of the many books I've seen through the production process, only one of mine ended up in my back room and luckily it sold out very quickly. Otherwise it is an expensive investment on the way in and soul-destroying on the way out to do economical print runs.

On the other hand. The per unit print price of a book like this, if a real printer did, say, 1000 copies would be $3. At Lulu, the print price is about $12. That seems like it doesn't leave so much for the author, but don't forget, generally if your book is printed by a real printer, it has had a real publisher and the author will only get about 5% of the retail price of the book as his payment. So even at Lulu the author is still doing better than with a publisher middleman.

I think that there are some fantastic reviewers on goodreads and their work merits publishing. You are all writing about books all the time. If this material doesn't warrant finding its way into book form, I'd like to know why!

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, erudite, irreverent, bi or is it tri- lingual, offbeat, too sexy for maiden aunts, insightful, challenging, refreshing, but enough about me. Manny's book's pretty good too.

[midnightfaerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book about book reviews, that kept me endlessly delighted, seductively enchanted, and just plain tickled pink, even though I didn't often agree with them. Upon first hearing of a book that consisted only of Goodreads reviews, I wasn't very interested. But low and behold! I couldn't believe how many different and creative ways there are to write a review! I began to look forward to the next review, not to find out what the book was about or how Rayner felt about it, but because I couldn't wait to see how he'd write it! Now many of you on Goodreads.com know Manny and his quirkiness, but you really don't get the whole encompassing picture until you've read a whole book of his reviews. And though I find him utterly charming, it's funny how different our views are when it comes to so many things such as politics, books, religion and even our choice of cola (Coca-Cola is better than a case of 1997 Pepsi or any other year out there).

Without giving too much away, I have to comment on some of my favorites. The first was the review for the book "Help! Mom! There are Liberals under my bed!" Rayner obviously has malevolent feelings toward derogatory literature that insinuates the true nature of liberals, and so suggested to the youth of the world to change all the places in the book saying the word "liberal" with "Jew". I about fell off my chair laughing when I read this, and immediately requested this book at my local library. I have yet to receive it, but look forward to writing a review on it. Perhaps I will recommend something similar only changing the word "Jew" to something more to my liking.

Next, on the topic of stowing knives in a bra, yes, uncomfortable, and totally unnecessary. There are many more and valuable places to keep your weapons. (Something of which I may or may not know about personally.)

Then we have Mary Poppins, a saucy minx indeed. And I do believe it would have happened exactly like stated in the book had Mary Poppins met Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy wouldn't have known what hit him.

Writing the review for L'ecume des jours (I don't have time to look up the html for the French e right now) by Boris Vian as a recipe was another brilliant stroke of ingenuity. French manga with fatal love stories and roasted Sartre is a dish best served warm and immediately, alas, I didn't have the panache nor brio in my household at the time, so I had to serve leftover chick lit for dinner instead.

Adam's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is one of my favorite books and I was gratified to find this review no less lacking in comedic value. One of my favorite parts is when Rayner describes what he calls "a woman's erotica spiral", an event that almost takes our dear character Arthur from us. He writes:

"Oh, it's one of the most common ways for a Type III civilization to go extinct", explained Zaphod's left head. "People start spending more and more time on reviewing sites. After a while, everyone's top priority is collecting votes. Pretty soon, they realize that they get most votes for women's erotica reviews. Before you know what's happened, the whole planet is doing nothing but reading erotic women's novels and writing reviews of them, and after that it's usually just weeks before the Total Erotic Chicklit Field forms. And then -"

You get the idea. Then in his review of Infinite Jest he uses the chocolate cake from Roald Dahl's Matilda to describe what he's feeling. He states: "It's sticky and gooey and covered in delightful frosting. I read it until I have David Foster Wallace all over my face." I loved that. I used to use food analogies all the time in my writing. I felt it was a perfect way to have something everyone can relate to. I miss doing that. Thank you, Manny Rayner, for reminding me how wonderful food analogies in literature are.

Then there was the whole conversation with Nietzsche, some of it in German, about his idea of eternal recurrence and the use of it (severely bastardized) in this author's science fiction novel. It's a conversation between the two where the author asking Nietzsche's opinion of his ideas, and isn't really even listening to what Nietzsche has to say. It made me want to get back to my goal of reading some books in German to brush up on my skills, so much so that I ended up picking up a dozen or so German books at the library sale I attended last weekend.

Rayner's review of Frankenstein had me laughing out loud when he used the idea of creating the ultimate reviewer as a play on the creation of Frankenstein. I especially liked his references to some of the well-known reviewers on Goodreads. I do have to protest though on the lack of capitial letters being an abomination. I, myself, have always wondered why certain letters should be able to deem themselves more important than other letters, thereby making me want to write absolutely everything in lowercase letters. However, whenever I give into the impulse, I feel I just look like an idiot with no grammar skills. I especially loved the passage:

"Abjure Pastiche and Post-Modernism. Resist the lure of the mash-up. Write lain, Christian reviews, that explain simply and honestly the main characters, the plot and the style. All else is temptations of the Devil."

It may be temptations of the Devil but it is much more amusing.

Then there was The Three Musketeers meet The Lord of the Rings, which left me feeling Rayner had a preference for Dumas in this instance, but I could be mistaken. Perhaps it was just the more unlikely choice of the possible heroes that made him choose his victor. I enjoyed the poetry as well. I hadn't realized Cardinal Richelieu had received a ring, but now that I think on it, it doesn't really surprise me.

I apologize if I'm rambling, but I don't want to give too much away, only tidbits to entice the interested to go for the full purchase. It's totally worth it. Some others that touched me were The History Boys by Alan Bennett, which actually made me want to read, not The History Boys, but Euripides, and If Le marin de Gibraltar were a woman, which I had never heard of but loved the character Pat, short for Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning. Sherlock Holmes meets the Little Prince described Sherlock perfectly, down to his relationship with Watson, and Go ask Alice made me want to run out and buy the book immediately. The idea in the review of Vox for a cut-out-and-keep do-it-yourself-Vox reviewing kit, made me realize that I no longer had to worry about reviewing mediocre books. I believed this kit was perfect for this sort of thing. The next time I come across one, I will pull this book off the shelf and use this kit to review said novel. It's like a mixed-up kind of mad lib. The section on chess I found enlightening, since I have only recently begun learning chess and am rather a bad player. But I think Rayner underestimates his audience and their affinity for chess or their ability to understand it at times. I loved the "If Chess Were Love" analogy in Karpov's Caro Kann: Panov's Attack, however, it actually made me want to know more about what the book actually said. Guess I'll just have to read it.

After finishing this book, I found myself with a list of yet more books I must now read that had never showed me an urgency before, such as Stuff White People Like, The Flanders Panel, 253: A Novel, and Infinite Jest. But the last thing I'll mention that I enjoyed about this book, is that I do believe I agree with what was said in that every author puts a little bit of themselves into their work. Because I feel like I've gotten a small insight into the man known to us as Manny Rayner. Besides the fact that he is married and might have an affinity for playing chess in a dress, I think his personality really shines through in his reviews as well. He's entertaining, amusing and intelligent. His realization that video games have become culture makes us see that he doesn't mind admitting that he's become "part of a different generation" than our youth. You can tell he's well read and often ties the pieces of different knowledge in his world together, to give us new insight into something or a new way of looking at it. He seems a little bit of a "literary highbrow", (something I had embroidered on my bag as an alternative to "book snob") however that could just be my insecurity at my lack of understanding of all the hidden jokes and cerebral thoughts he makes reference to. I have always been attracted to smarter people than me and have surrounded myself with them over the years, not realizing that, in the end, it often left me feeling stupid. But like finding yet another obscure book of short stories from my favorite classical authors, I just couldn't stay away. I also found myself realizing how I was of this awful "Christian Right" he kept making mention of, however, that didn't keep me from enjoying his inspiring review of the New Testament and the Holy Bible, which he so charmingly labels as science fiction.

Overall, I very much enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. It's entertaining and opens a world of book choices for anyone who hasn't read everything. And to Manny, my favorite online liberal chess player, I commend you and sprinkle you with faerie dust.

ClassicsDefined.com

[Rowena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel a bit shy about writing a book review of a book that consists of great book reviews but I'll give it a go!

These are the most creative book reviews I've ever read in my life. They come in so many different formats and styles, each one unique. They are all absolutely hilarious, witty and smart. I think I would understand more of the humour in some of them had I actually read the book in question, but for the most part I had read the books or at least had an idea of what they were about. I did leave the Infinite Jest and Finnegan's Wake reviews for when I read those books later on this year.

The book reviews are divided up into sections, my favourites being Children, Literachuh and Linguistics, Philosophy and Sociology.

The title of the book and the cover are also brilliant :)The words on the picture of the bear read "Ceci n'est pas un ourson." An homage to Magritte perhaps?


p.s- Manny, you sure are fascinated with Stephenie Meyer ;)

[Scribble Orca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goodreads, and GRers themselves, fundamentally inspire the reading of books and the writing of reviews and the interactions that occur as a result of the collisions of both. The variations that inspiration engenders could probably be calculated using non-linear mathematics by the author of this speculative fiction piece given his prodigious applied and theoretical background in computing science, his achievements in chess, and his other publications.

This collection of reviews is, in part, the author's attempt to demonstrate concretely the reviewing styles available to the reader, should he or she choose to depart from the orthodoxy. While it is not a how-to Emannuel per se, it does contain explicit examples of the more popular adumbrations that abound. However, the author has failed to incorporate an increasingly popular trend emerging from various regions which employs the counterbalance of adopted melodies to emphasise, or even explicate, the value of the work being appraised. This should not detract either the casual observer or the interested scholar from approaching Pooh as a useful tool in self-expression; on the contrary, it can aid in both the germination and release of new ideas, methodologies for analysis, and general pontification on the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

In summary:

THE EURHYTHMICS: Love is a Stranger*

Reviews like a stranger in the world of books
To tempt you in and lead you far away
Reviews like a stranger in the world of books
To tempt you in and whirl you far away

And you read them, and you read them, and you read them here's a confession
And you read them, and you read them, and you read them it's an obsession

Reviews are a danger of a viral kind
To seduce your senses and manipulate your mind
And books, books, books are a dangerous drug
You have to imbibe them and you still can't to-be-read enough

They're savage and they're cruel and they shine like destruction
They're an inferno and a deluge and they create their own religion
They're noble and they're brutal, they distort and derange
They drench you in thought and leave you in carnage.

And you read them, and you read them, and you read them it's an obsession

Reviews guilt edged, glamorous and sleek by design
Reviewers fabulous by nature, riotous and wild
They dazzle and they drain you and it's totally cruel
They touch you and tease as you wander through the melee.

And you read them, and you read them, and you read them here's a confession
And you read them, and you read them, and you read them it's an obsession.

*source material

[David Cerruti · Rating 5 out of 5]

A review of a book of book reviews sounds like something recommended by the Department of Redundancy Department. Nevertheless, this little jewel is well worth your time.

In the midway of this our mortal life,
I found me in a gloomy wood, astray.

Ok, it wasn’t quite like that. A few years ago, I faced an unplanned layover in a strange city. I had 24 hours, but no map, no friends, and I didn’t speak the language. The bus ride to the old part of the city was pleasant enough, but I worried too much. Where would I sleep? Would I get ripped off? Would it rain?

I shouldn’t have worried. All sorts of people helped me find my way, gave me advice, and spoke at least some English. There were a few pushy types wearing big name tags that said Buy My Book, but I quickly learned to avoid eye contact.

An old man in front of a flower stand invited me to examine the flowers.
“No thank you. I don’t want any flowers.”
“I’m not selling flowers. I just watched you walk past three flower shops without even looking. Look now.”
“Oh, yes. They are lovely.”
“You are not really looking. Get close, look inside, and smell them.”
“Wow. Thank you. I’ll remember that.”

Later, when I stopped to look at a large old building, a woman asked “What do you think of it?”
“It’s big. And old.”
“Look at the door.”
“That’s big, too.”
“You don’t get it, do you? The door is carved wood. The walls are carved stone. There were no motors when this was built. Hundreds of people built this by hand.”
I started to apologize, but she interrupted. “Follow me. I’m going to the metro. Just keep your eyes open.”

I was learning. At a café I asked the waiter to bring me something he thought I would like. Later, a worker stopped me from turning onto another street.
“No, no. Don’t go there. You won’t like it.”
“Why not?”
“That’s the way the drunk students go home at night. We call it Rue Vomitorium.”
“Maybe I should buy a guidebook.”
“What? Are you crazy? Guidebooks are for amateur tourists. Just ask a resident for directions.”

So, good readers, you don’t need 1000 Books to Change Your Life. Just find a few of the best reviewers, and follow. You know the usual suspects. There are plenty between Nottingham and notgettingenough.

That’s enough preaching to the choir. If you are reading this, you’ve already had a taste of Manny’s reviews.

[Kalliope · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not read this book yet, but I think I have read some of the reviews.

As for the author...

I think Manny is....

...is.....

is.....

...............is

...Well...

He is Manny..!!!





PS: I just hope he is not offended and flags my review.

PPS: I forgot to star it.... Five with a guess.. because I am projecting the future based on the past.. and I may conduct a Stress Test later on and change the rating.

[Sakkfeminizmus · Rating 1 out of 5]

Felkeltem, ál-tudományos, falloszentrista, szexista szemetet. A gyakoriság számít a következo szavakat mondani mindenkinek:

sex: 29
fuck: 8
cunt: 7
shit: 11
Twilight: 20
Queen's Gambit Declined: 1

Én pihenni én esetemben.

[Stian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I don't think there is any doubt that Manny is the undisputed Champion of writing interesting, creative and funny reviews. At times poignant, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, silly, witty... lots of things at the same time. Also tiring, because I had to stop reading to get up and then like the review here on Goodreads, and then sit down and read again and then repeat as soon as I found another review I liked.

A wise move to send me the book, Manny... you got yourself at least 10 or 15 new likes now.

[Michael Perkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Manny Rayner is witty and erudite. And, as I have told him, I’ve benefitted from his excellent insights. He is justly one of the most popular reviewers on GR.

This book is a celebration of GR for which, at the time, Manny selected some of his personal favorite reviews to include in this book. I recommend it to all GR members.

[Jason Pettus · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this review, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)

My fellow CCLaP book reviewer Karl Wolff and I were having a discussion just the other day about the following subject -- that given what a wealth of original critical writing is being generated on a daily basis these days from pro-am critics at places like Amazon, Shelfari, LibraryThing, Netflix and IMDB, it's perplexing that more people aren't collecting up their essays in smart ways and releasing them as books, and trying to monetize a little all that effort they put into their online reviews throughout the year, in a way that's a lot more satisfying than simply rattling a virtual tip jar at every opportunity. Take for example ultra-popular Goodreads.com member Manny Rayner, who recently decided to do just that, gather up his hundred or so most popular write-ups based around such section topics as children's lit, foreign language, classics, experimental, etc., and release it as an ebook and print-on-demand paper volume at Amazon, since it costs literally no upfront money at all to do either. And the result is the delightful What Pooh Might Have Said to Dante, exactly what you expect it to be, a fun and smart callback to the days in the '70s when Pauline Kael and Fran Liebowitz were cranking out full-length books of their erudite reviews once a year as well, nothing essential for one's library but a great little collection to own, especially (forgive me, Manny) as a particularly well-timed bathroom book for hipster intellectuals. I think more online critics should be releasing books just like this one, so let Rayner's success be an object lesson for you all, that there are ways to potentially make a few hundred dollars a year from something you're doing for free already, without having to constantly beg for donations.

Out of 10: 9.0

[Nandakishore Mridula · Rating 4 out of 5]

Halfway through and enjoying it.

BTW, I was surprised to find negative reviews for even such a harmless book as this.

There are 3 1-star ratings for this book, and one negative review in Hungarian which calls it "pseudo-scientific, phallocentric, sexist garbage" based the frequency of certain words in the book. I strongly suspect one of Manny's bot friends is behind this review.

Another 1-star rating is by our friend Abe, whom we also suspect of being a bot.

Are the bots ganging up against Manny?