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Big Ray
Big Ray’s temper and obesity define him. When Big Ray dies, his son feels mostly relief, dismissing his other emotions. Yet years later, the adult son must reckon with the outsized presence of his father’s memory. This stunning novel, narrated in more than five hundred brief entries, moves between past and present, between his father’s death and his life, between an abusive childhood and an adult understanding. Shot through with humor and insight that will resonate with anyone who has experienced a complicated parental relationship, Big Ray is a staggering family story—at once brutal and tender, sickening and beautiful.
192 pages, Hardcover
First published September 1, 2012
10 people are currently reading
536 people want to read
About the author
Michael Kimball
49 books40 followersMichael Kimball's third novel, DEAR EVERYBODY, will be published in the UK, US, and Canada this year. His first two novels, THE WAY THE FAMILY GOT AWAY (2000) and HOW MUCH OF US THERE WAS (2005), have both been translated into many languages.
He is also responsible for the art project Michael Kimball Writes Your Life Story (on a postcard) and the documentary film, I Will Smash You.
He is also responsible for the art project Michael Kimball Writes Your Life Story (on a postcard) and the documentary film, I Will Smash You.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
May 19, 2013
This is a novel about someone coming to terms with his father dying. I read it about a year ago, and never reviewed it. I liked it at the time, but couldn't bring myself to write a review for it. I'd recommend it.
What follows I'm putting in a spoiler. Reading about other peoples experiences with death and stuff is uncomfortable, what feels so important and unique is usually just some prattled cliches.
I have a hard time telling people about what I've been going through lately, but I have quite a few people who I think of as friends here, and I feel like I should tell them.
I don't handle getting sympathy well, so if I don't respond don't take it personally. It means a lot to me, I just don't know what to say.
What follows I'm putting in a spoiler. Reading about other peoples experiences with death and stuff is uncomfortable, what feels so important and unique is usually just some prattled cliches.
I have a hard time telling people about what I've been going through lately, but I have quite a few people who I think of as friends here, and I feel like I should tell them.
I don't handle getting sympathy well, so if I don't respond don't take it personally. It means a lot to me, I just don't know what to say.
December 14, 2015
A middle aged man is coming to terms with his father’s death and in fact his life. Big Ray is not a nice man; his size and his temper define him. So when he dies, Daniel is mostly relived but it is still the death of his father. “For most of my life I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead. Everything about my father seem complicated like that.”
Big Ray is Daniel’s attempts to recount his father’s life, each paragraph is a single thought that slowly piece together a sense of who Big Ray was; at least in the eyes of his son. This narrative style works really well, you experience the emotions Daniel has and it really drives the story along with the mystery and sometimes randomness of his thoughts.
This is a brutal novel. Daniel ultimately hates his father; from the abuse as a child to trying to understand him as an adult. You can see the pain and hurt come through in the narrative, but there is still a tenderness and sadness at the loss of his father. All relationships are not as they seem; there are the unusual and even unsettling truths of Big Ray but then you have the little glimpses of what might be considered love towards his father.
I read this book in one sitting, not something I normally do. From the very start I was hooked, the narrative style just has nice balance between tenderness and brutality, beauty and mystery. I’m a little concerned for author Michael Kimball because that pain and anger Daniel had towards his father felt way too real. Highly emotional and disturbing; the internal conflict of a dysfunctional and abusive relationship was captured really well in this novel.
This review originally appeared on my blog; http://literary-exploration.com/2013/...
Big Ray is Daniel’s attempts to recount his father’s life, each paragraph is a single thought that slowly piece together a sense of who Big Ray was; at least in the eyes of his son. This narrative style works really well, you experience the emotions Daniel has and it really drives the story along with the mystery and sometimes randomness of his thoughts.
This is a brutal novel. Daniel ultimately hates his father; from the abuse as a child to trying to understand him as an adult. You can see the pain and hurt come through in the narrative, but there is still a tenderness and sadness at the loss of his father. All relationships are not as they seem; there are the unusual and even unsettling truths of Big Ray but then you have the little glimpses of what might be considered love towards his father.
I read this book in one sitting, not something I normally do. From the very start I was hooked, the narrative style just has nice balance between tenderness and brutality, beauty and mystery. I’m a little concerned for author Michael Kimball because that pain and anger Daniel had towards his father felt way too real. Highly emotional and disturbing; the internal conflict of a dysfunctional and abusive relationship was captured really well in this novel.
This review originally appeared on my blog; http://literary-exploration.com/2013/...
August 31, 2012
from author
Read 8/21/12
5 Stars - Highly Recommended / The Next Best Book
Pgs: 182
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Release Date: Sept 2012
In a completely unplanned Year of Grief in literature, I fall head over heels for Michael Kimball's Big Ray.
If Michael's books were record albums, I imagine they'd sound like Hayden with a dash of Midlake and a big ole heap of Great Lake Swimmers - that lo-fi, slow indie rock sound - sweetly depressing, all enveloping, emotionally charged music that somehow makes you feel good as it talks about feeling bad.
I've yet to discover a Kimball novel that doesn't address death in one form or another. His Dear Everybody was a beautifully crafted collage of life gathered after one man's suicide. Us dealt with a husband's heart-wrenching attempt to refuse and then accept his wife's impending death. And now he gives us Big Ray, a son's tender, honest look back at the life and death of his abusive father and the impact it has had on his life.
You'd think that books about death would be sad and depressing, but not when they are created by Michael's hands. With each novel, he invents new ways of looking at death and dying and his unique approach to grief and loss leaves me breathless every single time.
The story of Big Ray is not an easy one for our narrator to tell. Initially relieved to hear of his father's passing, Daniel seems stunned by the lasting affect the death continues to have on him. Through a series of over five hundred short entries, Daniels feeds us snippets of his relationship with his dad growing up; the shame and humiliation he felt while Ray was alive, the physical and verbal abuse he, his sister, and his mom put up with; his father's struggle with obesity and the impact that had on his health and temper over the years; the nearly obsessive thoughts he's entertained over the years about the cause of his father's death and the way in which his father's body was found; and how he's handling life as a man with a dead dad.
Big Ray is a microscopic look at how the things we do and say scar a person's soul, leaving permanent reminders of us, for better or worse, long after we are gone. But it's not entirely morose. Michael's thrown in some dark humor and "yo daddy's so fat" jokes to lighten the mood a bit, and because, well, it's human nature to find the funny in the face of death. If we can't find something to laugh at, we'll only end up crying.
Read 8/21/12
5 Stars - Highly Recommended / The Next Best Book
Pgs: 182
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Release Date: Sept 2012
In a completely unplanned Year of Grief in literature, I fall head over heels for Michael Kimball's Big Ray.
If Michael's books were record albums, I imagine they'd sound like Hayden with a dash of Midlake and a big ole heap of Great Lake Swimmers - that lo-fi, slow indie rock sound - sweetly depressing, all enveloping, emotionally charged music that somehow makes you feel good as it talks about feeling bad.
I've yet to discover a Kimball novel that doesn't address death in one form or another. His Dear Everybody was a beautifully crafted collage of life gathered after one man's suicide. Us dealt with a husband's heart-wrenching attempt to refuse and then accept his wife's impending death. And now he gives us Big Ray, a son's tender, honest look back at the life and death of his abusive father and the impact it has had on his life.
You'd think that books about death would be sad and depressing, but not when they are created by Michael's hands. With each novel, he invents new ways of looking at death and dying and his unique approach to grief and loss leaves me breathless every single time.
The story of Big Ray is not an easy one for our narrator to tell. Initially relieved to hear of his father's passing, Daniel seems stunned by the lasting affect the death continues to have on him. Through a series of over five hundred short entries, Daniels feeds us snippets of his relationship with his dad growing up; the shame and humiliation he felt while Ray was alive, the physical and verbal abuse he, his sister, and his mom put up with; his father's struggle with obesity and the impact that had on his health and temper over the years; the nearly obsessive thoughts he's entertained over the years about the cause of his father's death and the way in which his father's body was found; and how he's handling life as a man with a dead dad.
Big Ray is a microscopic look at how the things we do and say scar a person's soul, leaving permanent reminders of us, for better or worse, long after we are gone. But it's not entirely morose. Michael's thrown in some dark humor and "yo daddy's so fat" jokes to lighten the mood a bit, and because, well, it's human nature to find the funny in the face of death. If we can't find something to laugh at, we'll only end up crying.
November 8, 2012
Wow. Of course, wow.
"I'm awake and my father is dead. It's snowing and my father is dead. I'm hungry and my father is dead"
Whatever Michael Kimball chooses to explore, he does it right. He's an incredible writer and has a way of taking a story, boiling it down, and simplifying it without sacrificing any of the flavor.
His books have always stayed with me in a way that's difficult to describe. I tend to be short on memory for book plots and quotes, but I'm long on memory for how a book made me feel. By the time you finish this book, that feeling will be inescapable. Which is why it took me so long to read it. I knew that it would be like this.
I know it's hard to convince people to read a book that's a downer. This most certainly falls into that category. But it's a downer in the best possible way. I personally guarantee that you won't walk away feeling manipulated or like you were tricked into feeling a certain way. This isn't a book where we're having a great time until the dog dies. It makes no mistake about what it is, and you can read this excerpt and see if maybe you'd like it: http://www.vice.com/read/my-father-at...
My personal advice, however, is to get it and read it cover to cover. It's so much more than the sum of its beautiful, tragic, awe-inspiring parts.
"I tie my shoes in the morning and my dad is dead. It's lunchtime and my dad is dead. I get the mail and my dad is dead. It's sunny outside and my dad is dead. I'm happy right now and my dad is dead."
"I'm awake and my father is dead. It's snowing and my father is dead. I'm hungry and my father is dead"
Whatever Michael Kimball chooses to explore, he does it right. He's an incredible writer and has a way of taking a story, boiling it down, and simplifying it without sacrificing any of the flavor.
His books have always stayed with me in a way that's difficult to describe. I tend to be short on memory for book plots and quotes, but I'm long on memory for how a book made me feel. By the time you finish this book, that feeling will be inescapable. Which is why it took me so long to read it. I knew that it would be like this.
I know it's hard to convince people to read a book that's a downer. This most certainly falls into that category. But it's a downer in the best possible way. I personally guarantee that you won't walk away feeling manipulated or like you were tricked into feeling a certain way. This isn't a book where we're having a great time until the dog dies. It makes no mistake about what it is, and you can read this excerpt and see if maybe you'd like it: http://www.vice.com/read/my-father-at...
My personal advice, however, is to get it and read it cover to cover. It's so much more than the sum of its beautiful, tragic, awe-inspiring parts.
"I tie my shoes in the morning and my dad is dead. It's lunchtime and my dad is dead. I get the mail and my dad is dead. It's sunny outside and my dad is dead. I'm happy right now and my dad is dead."
December 14, 2012
When a copy of Big Ray by Michael Kimball landed, quite unexpectedly, in my porch I didn’t think that it would be my kind of book at all. The title didn’t speak to me. The cover, though striking, didn’t draw me in. And the concept – a son’s meditation on the life and death of his father – didn’t appeal at all.
But I thought that I owed the book a chance, that I should at least take a look inside before letting it go. When I did, opening the pages and reading one of the five hundred entries that make up the whole I realised that I had to start at the beginning and read to the very end.
“For most of my life I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead. Everything about my father seem complicated like that.”
I had to read because the works were clear and stark, because the voice that spoke those word was utterly real, and because there was a sincerity that made me feel that it would be wrong to turn away.
Big Ray died alone, morbidly obese, in squalor, and estranged from his family.
His son, Daniel, had to clear his apartment. And he had to work through his feelings about his father and his family history.
Daniel recalled what he knew of his father’s upbringing, of his own childhood, of his parents’ marriage and divorce, and of his father’s long and slow decline.
There is violence, there is abuse, reported with restraint and with honesty.
And, most strikingly, there is a moving story of ties that bind and that pull us back even when we don’t want to be pulled back. The need we feel for parents and family, even when we know that they are horribly flawed. And the pain, the resentment, the anger, all the complex emotions that brings.
The structure works beautifully, and Daniel’s journal is stream-of consciousness at its most accessible. The words say much, and the way that they are said says even more. The breaks between entries allow the story to move back and forth, offer space for consideration, and provide welcome breathing space.
The reality of the story, of the lives it took in, meant that there could be no real ending. But there were two entries towards the end that threw a clearer light onto events of the past and the effects that were still being, would go on being felt.
This wasn’t a comfortable book, and it has proved to be a difficult book to write about, but it was utterly real, and so very profound.
An accomplished piece of writing.
But I thought that I owed the book a chance, that I should at least take a look inside before letting it go. When I did, opening the pages and reading one of the five hundred entries that make up the whole I realised that I had to start at the beginning and read to the very end.
“For most of my life I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead. Everything about my father seem complicated like that.”
I had to read because the works were clear and stark, because the voice that spoke those word was utterly real, and because there was a sincerity that made me feel that it would be wrong to turn away.
Big Ray died alone, morbidly obese, in squalor, and estranged from his family.
His son, Daniel, had to clear his apartment. And he had to work through his feelings about his father and his family history.
Daniel recalled what he knew of his father’s upbringing, of his own childhood, of his parents’ marriage and divorce, and of his father’s long and slow decline.
There is violence, there is abuse, reported with restraint and with honesty.
And, most strikingly, there is a moving story of ties that bind and that pull us back even when we don’t want to be pulled back. The need we feel for parents and family, even when we know that they are horribly flawed. And the pain, the resentment, the anger, all the complex emotions that brings.
The structure works beautifully, and Daniel’s journal is stream-of consciousness at its most accessible. The words say much, and the way that they are said says even more. The breaks between entries allow the story to move back and forth, offer space for consideration, and provide welcome breathing space.
The reality of the story, of the lives it took in, meant that there could be no real ending. But there were two entries towards the end that threw a clearer light onto events of the past and the effects that were still being, would go on being felt.
This wasn’t a comfortable book, and it has proved to be a difficult book to write about, but it was utterly real, and so very profound.
An accomplished piece of writing.
October 4, 2012
It was written in these small sections that got a bit gimmicky after a while. I realize that its supposed to be small thoughts in a stream of consciousness sort of thing here, but it started to read like a elementary schoolers' first foray into paragraphs.
there was good emotion and a few shocking bits that kept me engaged and capable of reading it in a day, but it definitely isn't sticking with me like I thought I would.
This is what I get for reading a Readers Digest suggestion. I wouldn't be as annoyed, but I actually paid money for it.
there was good emotion and a few shocking bits that kept me engaged and capable of reading it in a day, but it definitely isn't sticking with me like I thought I would.
This is what I get for reading a Readers Digest suggestion. I wouldn't be as annoyed, but I actually paid money for it.
October 18, 2012
I wasn't able to really connect with this novel. I wanted more story, more depth of character from the narrator, less repetition of themes. I really didn't get it.
November 24, 2012
Daniel didn’t know his father was dead until a few days after it happened. His death brings mixed feelings; both relief and sadness. Weighing in at over 500 pounds, Big Ray was not an easy man to know. His temper defined Daniel’s childhood and distanced them as adults. As Daniel comes to terms with his loss, he recalls memories and anecdotes of his father, from birth to death.
Big Ray is made up of 500 entries, one for each pound both Daniel’s and Michael Kimball’s fathers weighed. Whilst the structure of short memories and snippets of information works, I found the number a bit tenuous as some of them are really one entry split up. The narrative jumps around very much like a train of thought, mirroring the patterns of memory. When we think of a lost one we don’t do so in a linear fashion. It also deals with the conflicts of grieving someone you may have loved but not liked. Daniel’s relationship with his father was a difficult one but he was still his father.
There is a semi-autobiographical slant to the novel as the author’s father was also obese, adding authenticity to the descriptions of Ray’s weight and the things that became difficult as he grew. There isn’t a sense of why he ate so much, just that he was overbearing both in physical size and personality.
The words “my father” are used a lot throughout the prose, partly creating a sense of detachment but it started to grate on me after a while. Each entry has it at least once and it’s not like there would be any ambiguity to who is being referred to. It’s obviously being used for effect but one that started to get in the way of my enjoyment a little. Otherwise, it’s a powerful, little book.
Big Ray is made up of 500 entries, one for each pound both Daniel’s and Michael Kimball’s fathers weighed. Whilst the structure of short memories and snippets of information works, I found the number a bit tenuous as some of them are really one entry split up. The narrative jumps around very much like a train of thought, mirroring the patterns of memory. When we think of a lost one we don’t do so in a linear fashion. It also deals with the conflicts of grieving someone you may have loved but not liked. Daniel’s relationship with his father was a difficult one but he was still his father.
There is a semi-autobiographical slant to the novel as the author’s father was also obese, adding authenticity to the descriptions of Ray’s weight and the things that became difficult as he grew. There isn’t a sense of why he ate so much, just that he was overbearing both in physical size and personality.
The words “my father” are used a lot throughout the prose, partly creating a sense of detachment but it started to grate on me after a while. Each entry has it at least once and it’s not like there would be any ambiguity to who is being referred to. It’s obviously being used for effect but one that started to get in the way of my enjoyment a little. Otherwise, it’s a powerful, little book.
February 6, 2013
The death of a parent is always complex, but it's even more so when a parent has been tough to forgive while living. In this tender, gorgeous novel, Michael Kimball explores how we try to understand even the most difficult family members. The book begins when 38-year-old Daniel goes home to clean out his deceased father's apartment. Big Ray has passed at home in his chair from an as-yet-undetermined illness related to his obesity. Through illuminating flashbacks, we learn about Big Ray's history and marriage (and later divorce) to Daniel's mother, as well as Daniel's childhood. What makes this book so moving isn't raw, graphic violence (physical abuse is described), but the nuanced and honest portrait of Daniel's feelings about his father—his attempts to relate to Big Ray by playing poker, his compassion and disgust for the challenges of his father's size, even his need to know what TV program his father was watching when he died.
Why this rings so true is the conflict in it all. This is how human relationships often play out, especially when it comes to family. We love even those we shouldn't. We love them even as we dislike them to the point of revulsion. "For most of my life, I have been afraid of my father," Daniel says. "I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead. Everything about my father was complicated like that."
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/blogs/index.html...
November 20, 2019
Questa lettura ha saputo sorprendermi, ma tuttora non saprei se definirla una sorpresa positiva o negativa.
Mi spiego.
Sono stato fin da subito attirato dalla sua struttura che definirei piuttosto atipica.
Tutto il romanzo infatti è suddiviso in oltre 500 singoli paragrafi di poche righe per sottolineare il tema della perdita di un genitore e della frammentarietà dei ricordi che un evento del genere si trascina con sé.
Durante la lettura si scopre però, frammento dopo frammento, che questi ricordi così spezzettati non nascondono solo un'elaborazione di un lutto ma anche l'esorcizzazione di una paura, una serie di traumi sconcertanti che in questa forma di narrazione vogliono significare anche qualcos'altro... l'impossibilità di accettare tutto in un colpo solo, l'impossibilità di accettare Big Ray, un padre ingombrante sia fisicamente (data la sua obesità), sia metaforicamente.
Il cosiddetto "elephant in the room" di cui non riesci a liberarti se non dopo questo libro, un percorso di catarsi che spezzetta la vita di quest'uomo enorme in tanti piccoli paragrafi.
L'unico problema che ho avuto durante la lettura è stato il suo essere così eccessivamente didascalico nella sua forma che è al contempo il suo punto di forza ed il suo punto debole.
Ho comunque apprezzato parecchio il suo essere sperimentale e infatti ho inserito in wish il suo "E allora siamo andati via" pubblicato da Adelphi.
Mi spiego.
Sono stato fin da subito attirato dalla sua struttura che definirei piuttosto atipica.
Tutto il romanzo infatti è suddiviso in oltre 500 singoli paragrafi di poche righe per sottolineare il tema della perdita di un genitore e della frammentarietà dei ricordi che un evento del genere si trascina con sé.
Durante la lettura si scopre però, frammento dopo frammento, che questi ricordi così spezzettati non nascondono solo un'elaborazione di un lutto ma anche l'esorcizzazione di una paura, una serie di traumi sconcertanti che in questa forma di narrazione vogliono significare anche qualcos'altro... l'impossibilità di accettare tutto in un colpo solo, l'impossibilità di accettare Big Ray, un padre ingombrante sia fisicamente (data la sua obesità), sia metaforicamente.
Il cosiddetto "elephant in the room" di cui non riesci a liberarti se non dopo questo libro, un percorso di catarsi che spezzetta la vita di quest'uomo enorme in tanti piccoli paragrafi.
L'unico problema che ho avuto durante la lettura è stato il suo essere così eccessivamente didascalico nella sua forma che è al contempo il suo punto di forza ed il suo punto debole.
Ho comunque apprezzato parecchio il suo essere sperimentale e infatti ho inserito in wish il suo "E allora siamo andati via" pubblicato da Adelphi.
May 25, 2018
“Having a dead father is distracting.”
Big Ray: the morbidly obese father whom you experience like the first big hill of a roller coaster. Of course, going up the hill it’s not so bad and you wonder why everyone else feels apprehension; you just don’t get it. Then, when things get scary, it happens fast and you’re not ready because you felt so superior in the first place. Narrator Daniel Todd Carrier learns of his father’s death and processes the relationship with the man everyone called “Big” Ray. A lot of what Daniel tells seems normal-ish (throw in some humiliation and occasional hitting), and the hatred for his father reads as exaggerated. It’s a familiar story. Most of the book the reader goes up the hill, and it’s not until the very end that things get really terrible.
The most impressive feat of Kimball is his ability to do two things at once, all the time. Because Big Ray’s father killed a litter of kittens, Daniel isn’t allowed to have pets: “As some kind of shiny consolation, my parents would buy me glossy photobooks of cats and dogs for my birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly lonely, I would pull one of the glossy photobooks down from the bookshelf in my bedroom and starting naming the cats or the dogs.” Funny and Sad.
It’s easy to write about loving or hating someone, but how does one accomplish both, even three sentences apart? Daniel notes his father’s love of grilling and how “he didn’t like even a hint of blood in his cooked meat. The fire colored his face mean. Sometimes, in the mornings before school, my father would look at the way I was dressed and say, ‘Looking sharp.’ That always made me feel really good.” Hateful and Reassuring.
Kimball’s style takes you along in a familiar manner, assuming you’ve read his other books. His simple sentences do a lot of emotional work. Daniel claims, “It was physically exhausting having a dead father.” Each word is so precise, as Daniel appears sympathetic and cold. Kimball also captures complexity by manipulating vowel sounds: “For most of my life, I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead.” After pairing the soft A sounds of “father” and “afraid” twice, “relieved” is emphasized by how sharp the E’s are in contrast.
Kimball’s novel is fascinating for the work it accomplishes in so little space and reminds us that we need not be complicated to express our complexities.
Big Ray: the morbidly obese father whom you experience like the first big hill of a roller coaster. Of course, going up the hill it’s not so bad and you wonder why everyone else feels apprehension; you just don’t get it. Then, when things get scary, it happens fast and you’re not ready because you felt so superior in the first place. Narrator Daniel Todd Carrier learns of his father’s death and processes the relationship with the man everyone called “Big” Ray. A lot of what Daniel tells seems normal-ish (throw in some humiliation and occasional hitting), and the hatred for his father reads as exaggerated. It’s a familiar story. Most of the book the reader goes up the hill, and it’s not until the very end that things get really terrible.
The most impressive feat of Kimball is his ability to do two things at once, all the time. Because Big Ray’s father killed a litter of kittens, Daniel isn’t allowed to have pets: “As some kind of shiny consolation, my parents would buy me glossy photobooks of cats and dogs for my birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly lonely, I would pull one of the glossy photobooks down from the bookshelf in my bedroom and starting naming the cats or the dogs.” Funny and Sad.
It’s easy to write about loving or hating someone, but how does one accomplish both, even three sentences apart? Daniel notes his father’s love of grilling and how “he didn’t like even a hint of blood in his cooked meat. The fire colored his face mean. Sometimes, in the mornings before school, my father would look at the way I was dressed and say, ‘Looking sharp.’ That always made me feel really good.” Hateful and Reassuring.
Kimball’s style takes you along in a familiar manner, assuming you’ve read his other books. His simple sentences do a lot of emotional work. Daniel claims, “It was physically exhausting having a dead father.” Each word is so precise, as Daniel appears sympathetic and cold. Kimball also captures complexity by manipulating vowel sounds: “For most of my life, I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead.” After pairing the soft A sounds of “father” and “afraid” twice, “relieved” is emphasized by how sharp the E’s are in contrast.
Kimball’s novel is fascinating for the work it accomplishes in so little space and reminds us that we need not be complicated to express our complexities.
November 14, 2025
I really liked the way this book was written. The story was a very simple one, delivered in bite sized chunks. The characters and settings were few, the time line straightforward, and story was told from the point of view of the main character Dan. This style left a lot of cognitive space in my mind to think about the grief, trauma and abusive relationships that were in Dan’s family. I would normally avoid books that deal with this theme but was drawn in so far I wanted to finish the book.
March 17, 2013
Big Ray may be a fairly short book at just 182 pages, but its contents certainly do punch well above its weight. Weight being one of the main topics covered in this reflective, semi-autobiographical book in 500 entries, matching the weight of Daniel’s father, Big Ray, when he passed away.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
October 19, 2012
"Michael Kimball’s father is dead, and so is Daniel Todd Carrier’s. Big Ray, Kimball’s fourth novel, uses hundreds of brief entries to artfully and empathetically explore the loss of a father—in particular, one who wasn’t very good; one who was, in fact, appalling. Begun as a memoir, Kimball turned it towards fiction because he wanted “more control over how it was told, a fiction writer’s prerogative,” and the result is a story clearly set in the truth of a writer who lived this relationship in all of its ugly, dark recesses. Hinged on the border between love and hate, between redemption and condemnation, Big Ray is a tremendously beautiful novel that tackles death and obesity and child abuse and forgiveness from a strikingly new perspective."
Read the full review at The Nervous Breakdown: http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/ty...
Read the full review at The Nervous Breakdown: http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/ty...
September 30, 2012
Big Ray hit me in the chest with emotion. Michael Kimball grapples with the confused emotions that come with tumultuous relationship with a parent. He takes all the horrible thoughts you may have had and pushes them to the next level, while trying to come to terms with what that parent has done.
Here is where I really cried: "Sometimes, I try to figure out how different I might have been if my father had been nicer to me. Would I try as hard as I do? Would I be happier than I am? Would I have a different wife? Would I have children instead of cats? Would I be a schoolteacher instead of a writer? Would I ever have moved away from home? Would I be more sad, but less torn up?" (108)
Like it or not, your parents make you who you are.
Here is where I really cried: "Sometimes, I try to figure out how different I might have been if my father had been nicer to me. Would I try as hard as I do? Would I be happier than I am? Would I have a different wife? Would I have children instead of cats? Would I be a schoolteacher instead of a writer? Would I ever have moved away from home? Would I be more sad, but less torn up?" (108)
Like it or not, your parents make you who you are.
December 2, 2012
"I'm one of the people who survived." This is what Daniel, the narrator of this book, says about his father's obituary, but after years of abuse under that man's rule, his survival is multidimensional. His story is told in bits and pieces--sometimes in just one sentence, sometimes a couple of paragraphs. These short bites of story telling are packed with emotion and deeply poignant. Kimball infuses so much into his character, it's hard to believe that what he is writing is fiction (he does mention, in an interview, that this book started out as a memoir but he changed it to have more control of the narrative). His words live and breathe, but often took my own breath away. This book is rather raw and completely, as well as exhaustingly, wonderful.
April 6, 2013
Was strange shelving this under "fiction" since it is the story of his father, but he does say in a podcast interview with Brad Listi that this started as memoir and he realized he needed to add some fictional elements to it.
So, I know I related to this book for several reasons. First, I'm a poet so the sparse language and small blocks of text and use of anaphora appealed to me. I thought of Barthes Mourning Diary, or Susan Steinberg's Spectacle.
But also, I am writing a memoir about the death of both of my parents, and about my brother who weighs 600 pounds. I started writing my book in 2008 and it's nearly finished. There are lines in Kimball's book that are identical to lines in my book. And that's because grief is a universal language.
So, I know I related to this book for several reasons. First, I'm a poet so the sparse language and small blocks of text and use of anaphora appealed to me. I thought of Barthes Mourning Diary, or Susan Steinberg's Spectacle.
But also, I am writing a memoir about the death of both of my parents, and about my brother who weighs 600 pounds. I started writing my book in 2008 and it's nearly finished. There are lines in Kimball's book that are identical to lines in my book. And that's because grief is a universal language.
December 22, 2012
A son re-examines his life when his father dies. That his father was abusive, obese, over 500 lbs. and divorced fro his mother led to many conflicted feelings. Another novel told in short paragraphs, excerpts of father and son, their family, their lives together and apart. I seem to have a hard time with this type of structure. I take in quite a bit of information, I'm told what the characters are feeling, but I don't seem to have any feelings for the characters. Just not the kind of book for me, but parts of it were very interesting. I will say that I admire the honesty of the feelings in this book, they were very raw and personal.
November 1, 2012
Hard to imagine any other novels that will be touted by Blake Butler in Vice *and* picked for Oprah's online book club. But as Adam Robinson says: "Michael Kimball does emotional immediacy better than any writer alive." And "Big Ray" happens to be his best novel to date. I recently interviewed Kimball about why he wrote the book in short fragments, his technique of composing from the unconscious, and his strategies for representing personal trauma and autobiography.
February 27, 2013
The book was very well done but I did not enjoy it. I give stars for how I enjoy it not how well written. It was short or I would not have bothered to finish.
If it was at all autobiographical I feel sorry for the author. If not, then I hope he has an understanding family because "Big Ray" was about the worse slob and father imaginable. I found the book horrifying -- not funny or subtle in any way. I hope there are few people that bad, and any that are there don't have children. -- ugh!
If it was at all autobiographical I feel sorry for the author. If not, then I hope he has an understanding family because "Big Ray" was about the worse slob and father imaginable. I found the book horrifying -- not funny or subtle in any way. I hope there are few people that bad, and any that are there don't have children. -- ugh!
June 18, 2022
Bella scoperta questo libro, edito da Pidgin in Italia. È la narrazione dei ricordi del protagonista legati al padre. Vediamo quest'uomo sovrappeso tramite gli occhi dell'indifferenza, mista a sofferenza, del figlio. Lo stile è semplice e lineare, ma riesce a descrivere movenze e abitudini di quest'uomo in modo che ti rimangano addosso, come se stesse stritolando anche te sotto a quel braccio grasso.
March 14, 2016
This is a very quick read, it only took me a couple of hours to finish. The book is written in an interesting format, just snippets of thoughts and memories of the narrarator about his newly deceased father. A bit sad, but to my mind believe able.
September 8, 2012
Jesus this book is amazing.
Everything I do now, I do after having read this book.
Everything I do now, I do after having read this book.
February 26, 2021
Sometimes I really really like a book for the content, and sometimes for the writing style. Having just read the Ben Hecht book I was ready for something as interestingly written and as direct as that. Michael Kimball's BIG RAY totally satisfied me. I won't mention the name of the icky pssillanimous (sp?) book I tried to read in between. No no, you can't make me.
Kimball hasd "narrated in more than 500 short" entries the feelings and memories of a son upon finding that his father has died. This Covid Time is kpossibly not a good time to read such a book, but I lost my father about 16 years ago and so I am slomewhat mellowed.
If you want to read a book that is simple, honest, emotional, and also in a style you probably haven't read before, this is is.
~Linda Campbell Franklin
Kimball hasd "narrated in more than 500 short" entries the feelings and memories of a son upon finding that his father has died. This Covid Time is kpossibly not a good time to read such a book, but I lost my father about 16 years ago and so I am slomewhat mellowed.
If you want to read a book that is simple, honest, emotional, and also in a style you probably haven't read before, this is is.
~Linda Campbell Franklin
July 26, 2018
Michael Kimball has an effortless way of connecting us with disturbing, unpleasant material in a beautiful, deeply personal way. His writing is simple, clean, conversational and evocative. He's a major talent and Big Ray is just another example of his mastery. While none of us want to be in this position--death, abuse, abandonment--many of us face it head on.
Thanks for taking us through the character's catharsis. We're stronger for it.
Thanks for taking us through the character's catharsis. We're stronger for it.
December 7, 2024
When seeking out more novels where a lengthy story is told in broken up fragments, Babak Lakghomi recommended this book to me. Holy shit. It did not disappoint. This is not the kind of book where you read one chapter and go do something else. No. This is the kind of novel you read from start to finish in one or two sittings. It consumes you. You can't look away. Intense, brutal, heavy. From beginning to end, it packs a hell of a punch.
July 29, 2025
uhhhh this shined when talking so frankly and hopelessly abt the abuse (specifically i am thinking of near the end when sexual abuse is discussed and explored very well thru a child's mindset) but other parts are sooo like modern pretentious poetry and i am still confused abt the thing near the end abt the sister becoming fat and looking like the father especially right after showing the sexual abuse she suffered like what thecfucj was that for?? anyway coukd be a 2 or 3 realistically
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 22, 2025
3.5 stars
Written in epistolary-like tidbits, a glance into the life of a not well liked man. Big Ray - so named for his obese stature. An unlikable man - even by his own family. Narrated by his son - giving a glimpse into his childhood with Big Ray, right up through Rays funeral.
A profound family story, both reflective and disturbing, showing what goes on in some households when the drapes are drawn.
Written in epistolary-like tidbits, a glance into the life of a not well liked man. Big Ray - so named for his obese stature. An unlikable man - even by his own family. Narrated by his son - giving a glimpse into his childhood with Big Ray, right up through Rays funeral.
A profound family story, both reflective and disturbing, showing what goes on in some households when the drapes are drawn.
June 28, 2017
This wasn't a badly written book, or a bad plot, but it seems to me the plot was neverending, there was no conclusion or message. Not that that is necessary but it feels like I missed something between the lines. This story felt like it was emotionally cleansing to write, but as a reader, I don't feel very different after reading it. But maybe that was the point?
December 25, 2018
Michael Kimball writes about tragedy and loss head-on. No irony, no trickery, no temporary departures to higher ground. His novels tell the stories of endings and aftermaths and collateral damage—the stuff that happens after most novels end. He goes for it. His sentences are clean and luminous. He tells the truth. He is absolutely one of my favorite writers.
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