बाई,बायको,कॅलेंडर [Bai,Baiko,Calender]

by V.P. Kale

Within half a second the news reached Patole's condominium and the whole four-storeyed infrastructure was shaken as if from an earthquake. There were 65 blocks on each floor, so in all the four floors had 260 blocks, all the members from each and every block started running towards Ramakant Laghate's residence. Since many years, nothing so exciting had happened in the building and there was no possibility of anything exciting happening in the near future. This is a peculiarity of Va Pu's stories; they start with a shock and give us another one at the end, the story it self at its height throughout the book. Every common man feels that something exciting should happen in his or her life. With this as a clue, Va Pu has cleverly woven the stories. Each and every story has a very special plot, which further heightens the suspense making it exciting as well and gives a shock at the end. Why do we get so engulfed in all those stories? Answer is simple. It is Va Pu's natural, heart-to-heart, and yet naughty style and the freshness of the topics

Genres: Marathi, Humor

132 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Vasant Purushottam Kale, popularly known as Va Pu, was Marathi writer who wrote short stories, novels, and biographical sketches.He authored more than 60 books. His well-known books include Partner, Vapurza, Hi Waat Ekatichi, and Thikri.

Reviews

[Rosh ~catching up slowly~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a Nutshell: A short story collection that serves as a good introduction to this respected Marathi author’s works. A bit dated in content, but has enough of wit and satire to keep you invested.

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Reading Marathi books has not been on my agenda since long. This is mainly because Marathi has been my weakest subject since my school days. I have had the misfortune of having such obnoxious Marathi teachers throughout my school years than instead of developing a passion for the language, all they created in my heart was dread and dislike. The monotonous textbooks, with the focus being more on esoteric content than on contemporary stories more attractive to kids, didn’t help matters. (Hindi, in contrast, was far better handled and taught.) Moreover, I don’t stay in an area with many Marathi speakers. Simply put, my skills in Marathi were and are very rusty.

In the last couple of years though, I have expanded my reading across genres as well as the formats through which I devour books. This, in addition to the fact that we had a quarterly Hindi book discussion in my Facebook group, ensured that Hindi books entered my reading agenda. But a small part of my heart was always keen to explore at least one Marathi book. This was going to be a challenge, keeping in mind that Marathi is my fourth language (after Konkani, English and Hindi, in that order.)

I had always presumed that I would begin with acclaimed humorist P. L. Deshpande’s works – I still hope to read his ‘Batatyachi Chal” someday. But when I saw this pretty cover on Amazon, I knew this would be the perfect maiden attempt for a Marathi work. The fact that the reading challenge I am participating in requires one book with a blue-coloured cover was the icing on the cake.

So, how was my experience?

As a book, it mostly went the way I expected. This is a short story collection with fifteen stories. All the stories are in first person from the point of view of a male narrator. This usually doesn’t make me a happy reader as the stories start blending into each other because of too much of similarity. However, as this collection was in Marathi, I read just one story every day and so was able to keep the tales distinct.

The writing is perfect for a lower-intermediate level reader such as myself as the words are mostly easy. The conversational lines are realistic with a nice interspersing of English and Hindi, but not so much as to overpower the main language. It's exactly how people speak here in real life, and hence adds realism to the dialogues.

The content reflects the simple old-time Mumbai. Most of the stories are slice of life in format, being set around an incident or event. While the author adds his own satirical wit to the tales, what also contributes a layer of wry humour is the representation of money matters. Imagine the thought of going into debt just to pay the car repair cost of Rs.200! Heck - imagine getting a car repaired for Rs.200! Sounds really funny in 2024.

Some stories are sexist in tone. Because of the first person narrator, it becomes tough to understand whether the author is giving voice to his thoughts through his character or if he is presenting the sarcastic and misogynistic views of his character in a true-to-life manner. It is somewhat annoying to see women written in a generalised and inaccurate way, as if the only things that interest us are clothes, makeup and gossip. As this book was written in the early 1970s, I can just assume that the writing reflects the typical thinking of that generation of Indian men. That said, a couple of stories featured women who outsmarted the oversmart men in their lives – these were a balm to my heart.

As a Marathi work, the book did present its challenges to me. It felt nice to read fiction in this language after so many years. ‘Nice’, of course, doesn't equate to ‘comfortable’ or ‘easy’. I found myself mouthing the words for the first few stories. (I never mouth words in English as I find it a distracting habit.) But as I reached the fifth story, I got into the groove and was able to focus without verbalising the words. My reading speed though was horrible! A simple 20-30 page story took me about 45 minutes. But I am still proud that I read this entire work without resorting to an audio version or Google Lens, both of which would have made my progress so much smoother.

As always, I rated the stories individually. Most of the tales came around the 3.5 star mark, which means that I liked them but they didn’t blow my mind away. This is partly due to the dated nature of the stories and partly due to my lack of Marathi processing abilities.

My favourite stories were:

💮 बाई, बायको, कॅलेंडर | Bai Bayko Calendar: A deserving title story. Would have rated this higher had it not been somewhat misogynistic. But keeping in mind the time and trend, it was a funny story. The ending was a masterstroke, saving the whole experience. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

💮 पैज + धाडस = ब्याद | Bet + Dare = Trouble: Exactly the same feedback as above. Somewhat misogynistic. Somewhat funny. Fab ending. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

💮 प्रिमियर | Premiere: A story about the ironies of life, and how to know when to give up. Predictable but fun. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

💮 हम पंछी | Birds of a Feather: Doctors and priests are the same. Don’t believe me? Read this story. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

💮 एन्ट्री | Entry: A humorous discussion on who should play Draupadi in the Ramlila cast, with the extra-lengthy saree being the main point of contention. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

तर, हे पुस्तक वाचून मला कसं वाटलं? इतक्या वर्षांनी मराठी वाचून छान वाटलं. भयंकर शिक्षक जवळपास नसल्यामुळे मी आनंदाने मराठी वाचू शकली. या पेक्षा जास्त मराठीची अपेक्षा करू नका. मला माझ्या मराठी स्पेलिंगवर विश्वास नाही. 😛

Recommended to all interested in trying a simple-enough Marathi collection. Though the stories might be a bit outdated, they are still funny. This is a good option for novice readers in the language.

3.55 stars, based on the average of my ratings for the stories.


The digital version of this book is currently available free to Kindle Unlimited subscribers.





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[The Bibliophile Doctor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"...अर्ध्या क्षणात ती बातमी पाटोळ्यांच्या चाळीत पसरली आणि अणुबॉंबचा स्फोट व्हावा, त्याप्रमाणे ती चार मजली चाळ हादरून गेली. प्रत्येक मजल्यावरची पासष्ट बिर्‍हाडं धरून, एकूण दोनशेसाठ बिर्‍हाडं रमाकांत लघाटेच्या बिर्‍हाडाकडे निघाली. अनेक वर्षांत असं काही सनसनाटी त्या चाळीत घडलं नव्हतं, आणि पुढील दहा-पंधरा वर्षांत घडण्याची शक्यता नव्हती..." वपुंच्या कथांची सुरुवात नेहमीच अशी उत्सुकता वाढवणारी असते आणि शेवट बहुधा धक्कातंत्राचे! वपुंचे हे अनोखे वैशिष्ट्य त्यांच्या या संग्रहातील सर्व कथांत अगदी पराकोटीला गेलेले दिसते. ‘आपल्याही आयुष्यात काहीतरी थ्रिलिंग घडावे’, याची मध्यमवर्गीय माणसाच्या मनात जी अनावर ओढ असते, त्याचा धागा पकडून वपुंनी या कथा विणल्या आहेत. मुळात सर्व कथांचा ‘प्लॉट’ अभिनव. त्यामुळे कथेतले नाट्य रंगत जाते, आणि धक्का देऊन शेवट! विषयांच्या नावीन्यामुळे आणि वपुंच्या ‘दिलखुलास’, मिस्किल आविष्कारामुळे वाचक कथेत गुंतत जातो...’

[Rohit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice combination of comedy and Drama. Someone has rightly said, it is Va Pu's natural, heart-to-heart, and yet naughty style and the freshness of the topics.

[Dr.J.G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection seems so familiar, as one reads some of the stories one can recall what comes next.

One must have read them somewhere in late 1960.

The Story about a snake feared loose is quite Thurberesque.
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"चिपळ्याच्या म्हणजे गजा चिपळूणकर.

"होय. शुद्ध विष्णुशास्त्री चिपळूणकरांच्या घराण्यातला हा पुरुष! ... "

Really? There was someone of that name in that clan?

"आमच्या ह्या रमाकांत चौबळनं शिवली टाईट पँट. टाईट पँटचा विषय आमच्या कंपूत निघताच, चौबळानं, तसलीच पँट शिवायचा आपला मनसुबा जाहीर केला. मी त्याला लगेच प्रश्न विचारला, ‘तू पँट जेव्हा चढवशील तेव्हा काही प्रॉब्लेम नाही. पण पँट काढताना तुला रोज, प्रत्येक वेळी शिंपी कसा भेटणार?’

"‘का?’

"‘कारण गुडघ्याखाली पँट ओढायला दुसरा माणूस लागतो किंवा उसवून काढायला शिंपी लागतो.’

"‘चल, चल, इडली नको फेकूस.’ चौबळ म्हणाला."

This phrase, or it's root, took decades to comprehend - it was copying (or rather, desification) of 'fake', and since that word literally means 'throw' in Marathi, it was modified to 'idli fake', literally throwing idli.

When - late 1960s to early 1970s - this was used, mostly by collegiates of urban Western Maharashtra, it seemed silly to those who used each language with its own idioms and purity, and weren't amused when people mixed languages. That good many do so now,seems more akin to adulterated than natural, much less fashionable, as thought by the incompetent.

Authors of that era did use that language as 'current' for flavourful of the time.

"काय साली आमची पिढी. तो शेले का कुणी जर्मन (का फ्रेंच?) कवी शाकुंतल डोक्यावर घेऊन नाचला होता असं सांगतात. त्या संस्कृतच्या खांद्यावर उभी राहिलेली मराठी मायबोली, पण आमच्या पिढीनं त्या या भाषेचं काय करायचं ठरवलं आहे, काही कळत नाही. आता एखादी गोष्ट खोटी वाटली तर जास्तीत जास्त ‘थापा मारू नकोस’– असं आपण म्हणतो. त्यानंतर ‘बंडल फेकू नकोस’– हे आम्ही पचनी पाडलं. तेवढ्यात ‘फिरकी घेऊ नकोस’– हे सहन करावं लागलं. आता हा चौबळ नवीनच काहीतरी प्रचारात आणतोय. हॅ!"
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"‘तरी बरं नाही दिसत.’

"‘त्याला आता आम्ही बायकांनी काय करायचं? सभ्य, सुशिक्षित म्हणवणारे लोक समाजात असे वागतात, तेव्हा ज्या बायकांत थोडी हिंमत असेल, त्यांनीच अशा माणसांची जिरवली पाहिजे. ‘मांडीवर बस’ म्हणणारे दु:शासन समाजात अजून चालत आलेत, पण त्या मांडीला रक्तस्नान घालणारे भीम उरलेले नाहीत तेव्हा आम्ही काय करावं?’

"समोरचा म्हातारा गप्प बसला."
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"तेवढ्यात आई म्हणाली, ‘वन्सं, तुम्ही पलंगावर बसा. तो जर आलाच इकडे, तर तुम्हाला पटकन् उठता येणार नाही.’

"आत्याबाई त्यातल्या त्यात चपळाईनं उठल्या. पण पलंगावर न बसता त्या डायनिंग टेबलावर बसल्या. पलंगापेक्षा टेबल उंच होतं म्हणून ते जास्त सुरक्षित वाटलं त्यांना! आत्याबाईंना टेबलावर बसवायला मदत म्हणून दादा पुढे गेले आणि तीच संधी साधून दादाही तिच्याजवळ, टेबलावरच बसले. दादा शेजारी बसताच आत्याबाई म्हणाली,

"‘अरे, त्या पोरांना आधी जवळ घे.’

"आम्ही उड्या मारून टेबलावर बसलो."
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"तेवढ्यात फोन घणघणू लागला. मावशीची चुळबुळ सुरू झाली. पण तिला जाण्याचा धीर होत नव्हता. आता आम्ही सहाजण डायनिंग टेबलावर, पाय वर घेऊन बसलो होतो आणि विनूदादा तर माळ्यावर बसला होता. तिकडे रेडिओ कोकलत होता. फोनची घंटा वाजत होती. आणि पाण्याची बादली अजून वहात होती. पॅसेजभर पाणीच पाणी होऊन ते आता दाराच्या फटीतून बाहेर पडलं होतं.

"‘आपलं मांजर कुठं तडफडलंय् देव जाणे!’ आत्या म्हणाली."
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Wasn't this story - मीच तुमची वहिदा - originally titled using name of Sharmila, not Waheeda? When and why was that changed, if one's memory isnt playing tricks?
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" ... भटजीने, आपल्या तुळतुळीत केलेल्या डोक्यावरून,शेंडी कुरवाळत, समोर बसलेल्या रूबाबदार, टेरिलीन सुटाबुटातल्या, एम् .डी. एफ्.आर.सी.एस्. फिजिशियनला सांगितलं की, ‘बाबा रे, तुझा माझा व्यवसाय एकाच जातीचा आहे.’– तर काय वाटेल? सांगा काय वाटेल?– तुम्ही सांगणार नाही. तुम्ही म्हणाल की असं होईलच कसं? पण तसं घडलं म्हणून तर हा लहानसा किस्सा सांगायची पाळी आली!"

Four surgeons open a clinic, with not even a G.P.?

Or did author just use the F.R.C.S. because he'd heard of it, without any idea what the letters stood for even together?
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एन्ट्री tells of an episode of a performance of a play that was also recounted by Jayawant Dalvi in his book on Konkan, Zaire Pravasi Ghadiche, far more effectively.

Perhaps it was an occurrence not unique, and happened more than once, in different settings?

Still, wasn't Kale aware of work by Dalvi?
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पेन सलामत तो –

Superb, original!

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September 02, 2022 - September 03, 2022.
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[Mohammad Sabbir Shaikh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bai, Baiko, Calender is another fine collection of funny, light-hearted stories by V. P. Kale. These stories are about middle-class families, their world, their dreams, their little problems and their funny adventures. I find his stories very relatable and his writing fairly simple. If, like me, you had learnt Marathi in school and now want to start reading Marathi books, his books will be a good starting point.

The cover of the book has been designed by S. D. Phadnis. He is one of India's best cartoonists whose cartoons beautifully capture middle-class life and its humour. Google his work for an instant dose of laughter.

[Tanish Bhongade · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet book!

Author wrote this book with help of short, but effective stories to teach us various aspects of life!
You can feel the experience of life which author has :)

[Bhalchandra Patil]

fedgfdsdfsdfegrfsad

[अनिकेत · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notable stories-paij,takkewaari,hum panchi, the humor is light, common but its written by Vapu so it looks refreshingly new

[Vikas Chavan · Rating 1 out of 5]

हरामी साला

Location 1192
शिवाजी महाराजांबद्दल आदर नाहीये ह्या हरामखोराला भाषा नीट विचार करून वापर तुझी लायकीच नाही काहीपण लिहितोय बिनडोक माणूस

[Vishal Birru · Rating 5 out of 5]

वपु

खूप छान प्रकारे रेखाटलेले व्यक्ती आणि परिस्थिती वर्णन. नक्की वाचावा असा कथा संग्रह. वपु यांची विशिष्ठ लेखन शैलीचा आनंद लाभतो या पुस्तकात.
धन्यवाद अमेझॉन या ईबुक साठी..

[Jaishree Kulkarni · Rating 4 out of 5]

mast vinodi pustak. light hearted comedy. this book can bring a smile even when you are in stress

[Jaya Gawali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Khuppachh mastt pustak aahe ...mast mast lahan goshti aahet ani vaachayla pan maja yet ....

[Piyush Laad · Rating 4 out of 5]

आवडलेल्या गोष्टी
१. बाई बायको कॅलेंडर
२. प्रीमियर
३. हेअर स्टाईल
४. मीच तुमची वहिदा
५. पेन सलामत तो..

[Deepali L · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has very funny daily life incidences, that makes you lol :D

[Amit Mirashi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Khup Chan story aahe...
Imagination also very good..