Wedding Cake for Breakfast: Essays on the Unforgettable First Year of Marriage

by Susan Jane Gilman, Joshilyn Jackson, Jill Kargman

Every woman plans for the big wedding day. Few plan for the day after. But once the cake has been cut, the dress has been worn and the band has played its last song, a marriage begins.

From the thrill and dread that comes with an unplanned pregnancy to catching up with an ex and having second thoughts, Wedding Cake for Breakfast   offers an intimate and often surprising look at that first year of marriage through the eyes and lives of 23 acclaimed women writers. With humor and candor, this collection takes readers behind closed doors for close-ups and personal glimpses into the emotional joys and complications of creating a life together—all the while blending families, furniture, and traditions for the very first time.  

Gathered together in this hilarious and heartwarming anthology some of today’s most renowned female voices, including New York Times bestselling authors Susan Jane Gillman, Joshilyn Jackson, and Jill Kargman, share their most touching and illuminating stories from the first 365 days of matrimony.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Memoir, Adult, Relationships, Anthologies, Short Stories

257 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Susan Jane Gilman’s new novel, “Donna Has Left the Building” will be published in June 2019. She is also the bestselling author of three nonfiction books “Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress,” “Undress me in the Temple of Heaven,” and “Kiss My Tiara," as well as the novel, "The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street." She's provided commentary for National Public Radio. She has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Michigan, and has written for The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and Ms. magazine, among others. Her fiction and essays have received several literary awards.

Reviews

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun essays and an easy read. I read a few each day right before bed, and it was good because they wrap up nicely in just 5-10 pages. Nothing super insightful or revealing but lots of good little reminders.

[Amy Elaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed these essays which included very different perspectives and experiences about marriage. I was thinking about buying this for two different friends that got/are getting married this month - but after reading it myself, think I won't . . . it is honest about things not always working out. Which, while it is reality, seems a little cruel to point out to a newlywed. They will be figuring that out themselves.

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Fatima · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think a more apt title for this would be “What to Expect in Marriage” as most of the essays were about marriage in general or over 10+ years of experiences and advice rather than about the first year of marriage itself.

[Regina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Went into this thinking it would be more funny leaning, not really the vibe. Still a good read, and many of the essays are a nice reason for reflection.

[Elisia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book of essays. Dip your toe into these relatable, sweet stories.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked some of these essays, and others I didn't care a lot about. I thought the writing was pretty good. I think the diversity could have been better.

[Terry · Rating 3 out of 5]

A wonderful trip down memory lane for the happily married (or widowed), and an insightful look at what might lie ahead for others. This book is a collection of short essays, all written by women, addressing (in retrospect) the first year of their married life. Written by women from diverse backgrounds who approached their early married life with surprisingly differing expectations, the essays address many differing situations -- more than a few of them address the first year of re-marriages. Most, but not all, of the authors suggest that they are currently happily married.

This is not a self-help book, a marriage manual or an “inspirational” book. (It is devoid of anything but passing reference to religious faith). Yet, the essays span almost all approaches to the first married year: from sarcastic and satirical, to heartbreaking, to uplifting and funny. Overall, this is a fun read and would make a nice gift, particularly for a bride-to-be the second time around (who might be a little older and wiser), or for almost any woman over the age of 25.

Disclosure: I was randomly selected from among numerous GoodReads readers to receive an advance copy of this book; I have read it and this is my honest evaluation. I have no connection with these editors or publisher and have received nothing from anyone in consideration for publishing this review.

[Kelly Knapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I was bothered by the fact that everyone of the women in this book is well-known. To me, their public life changes the private life. I wanted to read about everday women. then i read the book.

First, I did not recognize most of the names. I had to look them up and see their photos to realize about whom each story was written. Then, I realized that most of the "first year" of marriages was long before these women became well-known. So, I found that I enjoyed the reads.

Perhaps my favorite is "Marry Boy" because I could empathize with the writer. I do not remember individual moments of our first year. Both my husband and I were in the military. We blended two families. But the only incident I remember clearly was the night of Jan. 6, 1986...

We had just moved to a new military assignment and were staying in military billeting (military hotel.) The pain began as a dull ache and progressed to a nauseating, dizzying, shooting pain. My first (but not my last) migraine.

...and had nothing to do with the marriage itself.

this is a must read for every women during their first year of marriage. It will bring hope and let you know that no matter what is going on, good or bad, you are not alone. Everyone experiences various things, and you can bet yours is not unique.

[Sue Bridehead (A Pseudonym) · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I enjoyed reading these women's stories--it felt, in a way, like listening to 23 new friends tell you how they met their husbands--after a while things did start to become non-distinct in my mind. Many were about women who were ambivalent about marriage but did it anyway because they liked the guy. In a different context, this would have felt like the presentation of a sociological trend, but here, I started to feel like it was disingenuous; after all, none of these stories ended in divorce. (Maybe Liza Monroy's green card marriage did; I can't remember.)

Because of the uniformity, the stand-outs, for me, were the essays in which remarkable things happened, or those that involved a different POV or stage of life. I also gravitated toward the essays that may not have been notably unique stories, but they were stylistically original or beautifully written. Collectively, these were: Kristen Weber, Ann Hood, Liza Monroy, Claire Bidwell Smith, Joshilyn Jackson, Judith Marks-White, Sally Koslow, and Abby Sher.

Note: I read this collection because someone I know has an essay in it.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this collection of essays to be hilariously funny as well as incredibly insightful. Being newly married myself (and still planning a wedding--it's a long story), I could related to these tails of newly wedded non-bliss. Everyone puts so much focus on the wedding and the honeymoon, but they never tell you about the not so fun parts of that newly married period. Not that it's all bad, but there is going to be some adjustments, and that isn't always easy. It was nice to know I'm not the only new wife to freak out about small things like furniture arrangement or paint colors. And it's also nice to know that it's okay to get angry or frustrated, and it doesn't mean you've made a mistake or should get a divorce.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is newly married or engaged. (And probably for anyone who has been married for awhile as well.) The stories cover all ages from young first time brides to older third time wives. Everyone should be able to relate to the stories found here.

[Stephanie Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book while on my honeymoon, immediately after our wedding cake was cut, we had an incredible party with all our friends, and I said "I do" to the man of my dreams. I was definitely in an emotional place when I started this collection and I felt like I really connected with many of the stories and emotions conveyed by these fabulous women writers.

I wish more of these had been written by more recent newlyweds-- I think their perspective would be more refreshing and more relatable to a bulk of readers interested in a collection like this. Most of these stories were heartfelt, hilarious, and encouraging to read, especially as our honeymoon was going less than smoothly (logistically). These stories made me feel part of something greater than myself!

A fun, light collection with stories that were easy to read and sweet for the soul.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun collection of essays by straight female authors about their first year of marriage. I loved some of the essays (including my friend Liza's, on her marriage to her gay Muslim best friend to keep him in the country), and some weren't exactly my thing - any of the ones where marriage is seen as a natural progression of rock + princess wedding + house in the burbs, for example. However, the sheer variety of experience (at least, among straight females) was fascinating in itself, and despite marriage not being among my immediate plans, the anecdotes had the reassuring quality of advice from friends further along life's path than I.

[Brent Soderstrum · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book from Goodreads' First Read program.

I am getting married next week for the second time after sitting out for 16 years. It was nice to read the 23 essays by female writters on the first year of marriage. They varied just as each of our marriages vary because of the personalities of those involved. Some were funny, some were sad, some were helpful with pointers. Patience between the couple seems to be the key when merging two lives with all their baggage.

I enjoyed it. I wish they would have gotten some input from men.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. I loved reading about different peoples point of view on marriage. I loved to hear actual accounts of peoples marriages going through different things. Life things don't always turn out how you like them to. Or there is more of a compromise. As it all showed with these couples.

I think that this book would be a good book for newly weds. It reminds them that there are going to be hard times, disagreements, and other disasters. Life happens!!

And thanks for the goodreads first!!!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very cute, very honest and candid. I would recommend it to someone in their first year of marriage (definitely not for someone who's about to be married). I enjoyed hearing about other's take on that first year, the struggles, the fun, the day to day life changes. There is something relate-able in each essay and several times I found myself thinking "thank goodness someone else has felt this way!"

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I checked this book out after seeing it come through in a holds cart where I work. After searching for months for books that elaborate on the challenges of marriage, especially in the first year, I was pleased to find this book. The essays are hilarious, and I found myself relating especially to the author of the first essay in this compilation. I laughed out loud in parts and cried in others. Highly recommend.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm getting married in a few months and this book was absolutely wonderful to read. It made me think about everything that goes into a marriage. Many people get so focused on the wedding that they forget the actual marriage part. This book gives you a sense of marriage from dozens of different angles, backgrounds and situations. I recommend this for any newlywed or bride-to-be. :)

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I was looking to remember my own first year of marriage (not like it was that long ago or anything). I realized early on this book was not written for a reader like me. Although I connected with some of the stories -- the perspectives seemed to come from women who have been married much longer than me. I think a collection like this could be a lot more.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the honesty and directness of these stories. Not what I expected. Some of the stories felt a bit rushed or flapped together. I generally don't like short stories, but considering these were reflections on personal experiences I didn't feel jilted. Probably read them a bit fast... I forget to savor writing sometimes.

[skm duff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't bad. Lots of good insights into marriage from the short stories which remind everyone that life isn't perfect and neither are we. Things really do change, whether a lot or just a little, when you're actually married. I think it's a good read especially for those who have/had a lot if build up to their wedding day.

[Janis Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. All different voices and perspectives on the first year of marriage. Often laugh-out-loud funny, often poignant. Anyone who has maneuvered through that period of time will find something to relate to!

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really cute compilation of short stories on the first year of marriage-something I would want to read in preparation for being married myself. Even though it's all centered around marriage, anyone can appreciate the themes written about in these short stories. Lots of variety!

[Monica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saw this on the new books shelf at the library and picked it up since I generally like essay collections by women. Some good stuff here, but some pretty regressive (e.g. Of course you'll lie about things to your husband, such as getting botox.)

[Katie Pierson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wonderful little collection of essays. Each writer has such a prominent voice in their first-year experience and each really brings something unique to the table. It was a very pleasant and enjoyable read as I soon head into the journey of marriage.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun to read. I liked that it was a collection of essays--that fits my attention span perfectly right now and wasn't junk.. And they presented a great variety of experiences with marriage. A few of them are real treasures. My favorite one was The Marry Boy.

[Rocky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to follow.

[Anita Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of essays by writers who recall their first year of marriage, sometimes humorously, sometimes shuttering and glad the first year is done.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun collection of essays about the first year of marriage!

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book but it disappoints because it only features heterosexual marriages.