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144 pages
First published January 1, 1950
"Somreia per la necessitat tan intensa que senten els homes de construir ciutats, quan era molt més difícil construir relacions, de conquerir països, quan era molt més difícil conquerir un cor, satisfer un nen, crear una vida humana perfecta. La necessitat d'inventar, de circumnavegar l'espai, quan és molt més difícil superar les distàncies entre les persones; la necessitat d'organitzar sistemes filosòfics, quan era molt més difícil entendre un ésser humà i quan les profunditats últimes de l'ànima humana encara estaven a mig explorar.
—He d'anar a la guerra —deia ell—. He d'actuar. He de servir una causa."
“The enemy is not outside…”
“Everyone says: you must take sides, choose a political party, choose a philosophy, choose a dogma… I choose the dream of human love…”
“She smiled at man’s great need to build cities when it was so much harder to build relationships, his need to conquer countries when it was so much harder to conquer ones heart, to satisfy a child, to create a perfect human life. Man’s need to invent, to circumnavigate space when it is so much harder to overcome space between human beings, man’s need to organize systems of philosophy when it was so much harder to understand one human being, and when the greatest depths of human character lay but half explored…”
"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living".
Toward this ambulant Rango, Djuna leaned to catch all that his music contained, and her ear detected the presence of this unattainable island of joy which she pursued, which she had glimpsed at the party she had never attended but watched from her window as a girl. And like some lost voyager in a desert, she leaned more and more eagerly toward this musical mirage of a pleasure never known to her, the pleasure of freedom.
She was invited to bring her good self only, in which Rango believed utterly, and yet she felt a rebellion against this good self which was too often called upon, was too often invited, to the detriment of other selves who were now like numerous wallflowers! The Djuna who wanted to laugh, to be carefree, to have a love all of her own, an integrated life, a rest from troubles. Secretly she had often dreamed of her other selves, the wild, the free, the natural, the capricious, the whimsical, the mischievous ones. But the constant demand upon the good one was atrophying the others.
Djuna had wanted a life of desire and freedom, not comfort but the smoothness of magical happenings, not luxury but beauty, not security but fulfillment, not perfection but a perfect moment like this one…