What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding: A Reassuring Month-by-Month Guide for the Father-to-Be, Whether He Wants Advice or Not

by Thomas Hill

The third edition of the best, funniest father's guide to having a baby, What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding, is now thoroughly revised and updated, but it's still packed with information, advice, and attitude distinctively for guys. Originally conceived as a little parody, just something funny and helpful for the expectant man, the book is now a classic gift, passed knowingly from one generation of first-time papas to the next.

With this lighthearted, month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife—the main role of expectant dads—he'll handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor; what to buy, how many, and when; maintaining work-life balance; maintaining work-life-wife balance.

New features in What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding include:
The minefield: the wrong gifts for your pregnant wife Social media pregnancy etiquette: status update! Eight reasons why not to pick out maternity clothes

What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding also features the latest trends!
Festive gender-reveal parties. (Really!) Updated baby name guide, including Twitter hash tags. Cloth diapers: The debate is back!

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Humor, Self Help, Relationships

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

Reviews

[Cole Schoolland · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you have any intentions or desire to actually be a good father DO NOT SPEND ANY TIME OR MONEY ON THIS BOOK.

If you subscribe to that 1950s view of distant fatherhood (as in "oh the child... thats my wife's department") and make your role in the whole thing a joke, then this book might be for you.

"What to Expect" is a household name among parenting books so I was very surprised when this joke passed muster. If this is just one big joke, I apologize for my lacking sense of humor.

I can't imagine it is that foreign of a concept that I want to be a good, involved parent. What to Expect When your Wife is Expanding (or "WTEWYWIE" as I will refer to it and, yes, it says "Expanding" and it took me several weeks to realize that) seems to hold three truths at the outset:

1) real men have other, more important, priorities than children. There was a big element of pride about going back to do the other "real stuff" like work. Much of the strategy in the book was around shirking boring doctor's appointments and making sure you can avoid all the boring stupid stuff involving supporting a spouse, maintaining a healthy relationship, or bonding with your child.
2) women are really crazy. And pregos are just plain nuts. But shhhhh, you can't let them know that we know.
3) you can always tackle serious issues with humor and then ignore them. Like finances.

Here are two MUST HAVE resources you should look into instead of buying this book:
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - https://www.amazon.ca/Ina-Mays-Guide-...
- If you and your partner are going to read one book, let it be this one. There is so much that is unavoidably terrifying about childbirth that it is easy to forget what a beautiful natural thing it is that humans have been doing for a LONG time. These stories help normalize the experience and were a great comfort for us to read together.
The Expectant Father - https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Fath...
- This is what I wanted WTEWYWIE to be. Well organized, TONS of practical advice, and (best of all) it starts on the assumption that you actually want to be a good dad.
Some other resources you might look into depending on parental choice and preference:
- Happiest Baby on the Block
- Science of Parenting
- The Longest Shortest Time (podcast)

[Lindley Walter-smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm clearly not the intended readership for this book, as a lesbian birth mum. I have to admit I actually picked it up because it had a single one star rating in my library's ecollection, and I was curious to see just how bad it was.

It was a lot better than I expected. I find the constant gendering tiresome-to-offensive, especially when it's applied to the baby. On the other hand, as someone experiencing an extremely difficult pregnancy, I found the list of month-by-month physical whinges gelled with my experience, and pretty much to my surprise there were several moments I actually laughed out loud. I was pleasantly surprised, all in all.

[Stephanie Hull · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really not informative

The "Dude you're going to be a dad" book is more informative and has much better advice. I'm a nurse practitioner and this is really doesn't provide any helpful information in here for dads to be.

[Megan Magee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok ready? Your fat pregnant wife is so annoying and complains all the time and never shuts up. Convince her to breastfeed so you don't have to do the bottle thing at 2am. Lol JUST KIDDING THAT WAS A JOKE. Except it wasn't tho, y'know what I mean stud? 😉😉😉

[Elliot · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was searching for a different book on OverDrive, and when I changed from eBook to audiobook, this was the only result left. I didn't realize it wasn't the book I had been searching for, since all the eBooks were the right one. I was part way through the audiobook wondering why my wife had recommended this book to me before realizing what had happened, and decided to stick it out despite it being a pretty ridiculous book.

Anyway, for an actual review: this is basically a satirical take/parody pregnancy advice books combined with some actual information and advice, which would be a welcome entertaining break from real serious information if it were better done. While there were some funny moments, even a few that I laughed out loud at, they were more along the lines of the cringe-inducing "I can't believe someone said that" kind than something that was really funny. Nevertheless, it does have some actual information in it, and is a good reminder that even with something as serious as childbirth it's good to step back and have a healthy sense of humor about it. It was first published in 1993, and while this is the fourth edition/revision and talks about things like social media and cell phone cameras, overall it's a book stuck in the early 90s (or 60s) and has not aged well.

[Divyesh Patel · Rating 1 out of 5]

I mean..it’s a parody. Not a very good one. Although I didn’t come in with an expectation of getting valuable advice, I did come in with a hope that I’d get a laugh out of it.

[Dave · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm no macho man, nor is this a book written by a macho man. However it is about how a man who feels the needs to explain to other men how their world changes when their wife starts expanding. It didn't take long for me to be even a bit offended at the approach. If you're macho you may really love this book I suppose. So many men do not take an active part in their wife's pregnancy, that I suppose this kind of read for that kind of man is better than nothing at all. Otherwise, I'd ignore this one.

[Kumar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Feels like I am now very well informed about this pregnancy and fully ready for it! If half the population of the world goes through this a couple of times, how hard could it be?

[Brandon Andersen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely awful and dumb.

[Graham Caywood · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few interesting tidbits of information surrounding a bunch of occasionally funny jokes and some mild 1950s-era gender roles sexism.

[Shaun Dyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding is a fun take on the terrifying and exciting rollercoaster that is expecting a child. If you're looking for advice on pregnancy and birth this probably isn't the book for you but if you want a break from the dry world of self-help baby books and need a few laughs you could do much worse.

[Jenny Leiva · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this as an audiobook and decided to give it a try for fun and it fit that bill. It was geared toward guys (which I could tell from the title). I felt like there was some useful information, but other parts were kind of silly. Apparently the advice on what husbands should tell their wives during labor was pretty good because it made me cry just listening to it.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a number of books for dad's in preparation for the birth of our child. This was is about what you would expect from the synopsis. It has a little bit of real information, but the vast majority of it is tongue in cheek humor. As long as you are not looking for real advice it is fine. Give it as a gift to someone who needs a laugh.

[Rob Amundson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actually funny, without being offensive. Some useful tidbits along the way, but will need to be augmented by a more functional book (The Expectant Father) in need of real advice or guidance.

If are reading a more functional book, this is a great book to read with it. (Most baby books are written to be read at the pace of the pregnancy with chapters devoted to weeks and expectations to read when at that week - multiple books allow you to get multiple perspectives at the same time).

[Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Feels anachronistic relative to modern manhood. It assumes the kind of early era sitcom masculinity that revels in maintaining distance from femininity in favor of jokes about avoiding the kids by going to the golf course. In its defense, it uses that frame to create a bridge, but I was already on the other side of the span.

[Romance Book Dad · Rating 2 out of 5]

I checked this book out of the library thinking it would be informative. It pretty much isn’t if you’ve done any other basic research on pregnancy. The Jokes are decent but repetitive and get old by the end of the first trimester.

[F M · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up after knowing that "What to expect when you are expecting" is a bible for birthing or pregnancy - expecting it will be enlightening for me as a husband. The "Dude you're going to be a dad" book is more informative and has much better advice - which I read before this one.

[Patrick T · Rating 2 out of 5]

An okay gag gift

The content is mostly farce riffing off books focused on the experience of expecting and new fathers. You have to sift through it for insight but that's not what it's for.

[Richard Spicer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some helpful information for a first time dad, but it was honestly hard to focus on that when constantly dealing with the sexist tone. I found myself thinking this guy doesn’t like his wife and does he really have kids.

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A welcome break from reading "real" pregnancy books, and receiving the myriad unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and strangers.

[Ryan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dumb and mostly not funny.

[Jonathon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good for a chuckle. Probably a little longer than it needed to be, but it did make me actually think about a few things.

[Rodney Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read good info

Easy read with good information and some real good bad informstion. Did a pretty good job of going over how big tournament will be in non good references.

[Tim Zornes · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good advice. Mostly really bad sarcastic advice. As a satire, it's ok, not great. As a guidebook for fathers-to-be, really bad.

[Janelle Fletcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent first time dad book!

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and informative read for any Dad-To-Be. Certainly not the end-all-be-all; however, this book acknowledges that as well. Worthwhile read!

[Andrew E Karns · Rating 4 out of 5]

An outdated satirical look at fatherhood. Some good info.

[Cameron Fry · Rating 2 out of 5]

5/10 MEDIOCRE

[Rat de bibliothèque · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shows month by month pictures of estimated belly size
Includes month-by-month break-down of items to buy to put away

Gives breakdown of moods to possibly expect during each month

Includes helpful hints like which pickles go with which ice cream flavor (I kid you not)

my epinions review from years ago:
I am a 21 year-old who still lives at home. My husband is overseas and in the service. I began collecting books to read to prepare for a family some time ago and only recently decided that it seemed like a good idea to also read the books I expected for my husband to read.

What To Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding is a self proclaimed parody that's cover describes it as "a reassuring month-by-month guide for the father to be, whether he wants advice or not." I found very little of it to be very reassuring or educational. Give this to your husband to kill time or if you have already read every book that is already out there.

I write this more from my standpoint of a female reading this in planning for a pregnancy than for a male who is reading this because his wife told him to.

The chapters of the book go from when you may suspect that she is expecting, through each month, and on to how to survive with your child now that they are here.

Each chapter is broken down to include a list of things to buy that month in preparation, what your wife will look like now (accompanied by amusing pictures of a generic wife who is progressively getting bigger), what she may complain of (the word "you" referring to the husband is on every list), what she may be concerned about (different illnesses and more impractical worries), a few cute lines to give her to show her you are up on the reading she has assigned you, and any concerns you may be having at each of these stages of the game.

I only recommend this book to men if your wife has already bought it for you or if you are completely ignorant as to how this childbirth thing goes. Do not read this if you intend to learn anything that wasn't particularly common sense.

I did find that the list of things to buy each month was helpful however it does include some gag items and some items that you will never need (i.e. kneepads for when they learn to crawl and baby-sized shoe horn.)

Also the book includes and interesting break-down of what a child will cost you. Estimated costs for things such as labor and delivery, pregnancy guides, clothing, allowance, haircuts, education up to grade 12, and 4-year college.

If you are reading this for a barrel of laughs steer clear. I found very little of it to be at best amusing. And from the female point of view some of the authors suggestions are a bit misogynistic (for instance going out with your friends often to leave her alone in her state, continuing to drink beers when she had to give them up herself and so on.)

The author does however strongly suggest that you read the book he is parodying: What to Expect When Your Expecting. If you choose to go that route be forewarned that that is far from a quick read (this 144 page book took me about a week to read when I had many other things to do.)

The back of the book reads as follows:

"AT LAST, THE BOOK FOR THE EXPECTING MAN

Fathers to be are pregnant, too. They need comfort, they need preparation, they need understandings, and perhaps most of all, they all needs a good laugh. Finally, here is a complete guide just for the husband: what to expect the sonogram to look like, what to expect in Lamaze class, even what to expect in those sleepless first weeks. What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding provides some of the hard facts he needs, all of the sympathy he deserves, and man-to-man advice that no other book offers.

The month-by-month format follows ever development, from what your wife will be complaining about to what you'll be buying, plus a host of special features including: better labor coaching, how to take paternity leave (if you can take it?), cigar passing alternatives from the nineties, and recommendations for fathers special dietary needs.

ANSWERS TO EVERY OBNOXIOUS HUSBAND'S QUESTIONS:
- 'How much does having a baby cost?'
- 'How can I avoid sympathetic pregnancy?'
- 'What is the realistic statistical probability of having sex during pregnancy?'
- 'What is happening to my wife's belly button?'
- 'What should I pack to take to the hospital for myself?' "

[Bryan W · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was great for calming the nerves of first time dads but besides that, it was kind of like listening to an uncle who thinks he's funnier than he really is talk for hours. Also, the sections on finances applies only to Americans so that was pretty useless.
All in all, fairly helpful for your frame of mind but probably best used as a warm up for other books for fathers.