Baltoji gėlelė ir paslaptingoji vėduoklė

by Lisa See, Antanina Banelytė (translator)

Devyniolikto amžiaus Kinijoje, tolimoje Hunano provincijoje, septynerių metų mergaitei Lilei randama laotong, „sielos draugė“. Tarp jų užsimezga emocinis ryšys visam gyvenimui. Laotong, Baltoji Gėlelė, atsiunčia Lilei šilkinę vėduoklę su užrašytu laišku nu šu kalba. Ją Kinijos moterys sukūrė, kad galėtų bendrauti slapta nuo vyrų. Metams bėgant Lilė ir Baltoji Gėlelė siunčia viena kitai ant vėduoklės užrašytus laiškus, rašo istorijas ant nosinių, pasakoja viena kitai apie savo svajones, viltis bei darbus. Abi ištveria kojų rišimo skausmą, apmąsto tėvų suplanuotas vestuves, abiejų patirtą vienatvę bei motinystės džiaugsmus ir nelaimes. Moterys guodžia viena kitą. Toks ryšys palaiko jų dvasią. Tačiau kilus nesusipratimui jų stipriai draugystei iškyla grėsmė... Knygoje vaizdingai, rytietiškai santūriai aprašomos tradicijos, vestuvių papročiai, buities ir kasdienio darbo scenos, kurios jaudina ir virpina giliausius skaitytojo jausmus.

„Lisa See pavaizdavo tai, ką sugeba tik geriausi romanų rašytojai. Ji atgaivino ne tik įvykius, bet ir kultūrą bei mąstymo būdą, tiesiog stulbinamai skirtingą nei mūsų. Autorė sukūrė jaudinantį ir labai įtikinantį portretą moters, kurią subrandino jau ankstyvoje vaikystėje patirtos kančios ir draugystė, padėjusi jas ištverti.“ „Geišos išpažinties“ autorius Arthuras Goldenas

„Baltoji Gėlelė ir paslaptingoji vėduoklė” – knyga, patekusi į visus žinomiausius bestselerių sąrašus.

Genres: Historical Fiction, Fiction, Book Club, China, Historical, Asia, Adult

336 pages, Hardcover

First published February 21, 2005

About the author

Lisa See is the New York Times bestselling author of Lady Tan’s Circle of Women, The Island of Sea Women, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, The Island of Sea Women, Peony in Love, Shanghai Girls, China Dolls, and Dreams of Joy, which debuted at #1. She is also the author of On Gold Mountain, which tells the story of her Chinese American family’s settlement in Los Angeles. Her books have been published in 39 languages. See was the recipient of the Golden Spike Award from the Chinese Historical Association of Southern California and the History Maker’s Award from the Chinese American Museum. She was also named National Woman of the Year by the Organization of Chinese American Women. You can learn more about her at www.LisaSee.com. You can also follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Reviews

[Erika · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book, but ended up feeling deflated and disappointed. Two aspects of the book were interesting: descriptions of the practice of Chinese footbinding, and an exploration of 'nu shu,' the written language Chinese women developed to communicate exclusively with each other.

Unfortunately, the book also has two major problems: a boring story, and the use of cheap gimmicks instead of complex characterization.

The story deals with two girls who are matched as 'old sames,' sort of a best-girlfriend relationship that is meant to last for life. Unfortunately, the story of their friendship is just not compelling, and I kept feeling like the author missed the opportunity to tell a really interesting story within the context of the world she creates.

Aside from being boring (the worst sin in fiction) I was also disappointed with the way she handled the intimacy of the friendship between the two women, which felt exploitative and gimmicky, rather than really taking us inside the complex world that is the relationship between two best girlfriends. I thought it was a really shallow treatment of a very deep subject. It was hugely disappointing.

I don't recommend it.

[Cassy · Rating 3 out of 5]

My grandmother used to say that my big feet meant I had a “good foundation.” I’d stare longingly at her size-six feet when she said this and curse my genetic inheritance from elsewhere in the family tree. Then I had an ex-boyfriend make the infuriating statement that rich women have small feet.

My teenage-self took a lot of comfort in the fact that foot size is pre-ordained and unchangeable. Clown-sized feet can strike the smart, the rich, the beautiful. And there isn’t a damned thing they or I could do about it.

Then I read this book and learn it is possible to change your foot size. It’s called foot binding.

And you know what? I’ll pass. I enjoy being able to wiggle my toes and jump around. So, thank you, Lisa See! For once in my life, I am content with my big feet. And I owe it all to your graphic descriptions of this ancient Chinese method. Blood, putrefaction, pain, breaking bones, risk of death! I cannot believe those women were subjected to such brutal mutilation for the sake of beauty. Then they were still expected to clean the house perched on those tiny, unstable feet.

The foot binding portion of the book was the highlight for me. The inspiration for the book was nu shu, a written language developed by Chinese women and kept secret from men for hundreds of years. I didn’t find that part of the story nearly as engaging.

Beyond the foot biding event and nu shu device, this was really a story about a fulsome female friendship. Putting aside any problems with the plot, their emotions toward each other were complex and meaningful. There was hope and joy, but mostly there was pain.

During an event with Lisa last night, she spoke of how depressing writing can be. She doesn’t always wake up raring to write. Instead she may dread knowing she has to go to a dark, internal place to write about a character’s death or betrayal. Even worse, she may have to stay in that mindset for days or weeks until that section is completely written. I spend so much time glamorizing a writer’s lifestyle that I had not fully considered how emotionally draining it could be. I suspected the career engenders self-doubt. “Will people like what I’ve written?” Yet, I had never thought about the struggle Lisa described to create and inhabit the internal emotional environment necessary to produce the actual words.

I commend Lisa for giving us a realistic look at the treatment of and expectations for women in that day and age. Women were isolated and undervalued. Their worth was determined solely by whether they could produce sons. But honestly, my main complaint about the book is how depressing it was. I kept waiting for some great act of heroism. Yet the women stuck to their traditional roles. The main character not only repeated the indoctrination, she believed it! “My role in life is to obey, obey, obey.” Sure, they rebelled in small ways, but always within the confines of their societal roles. I kept routing for one character to leave an abusive husband or, at very least, stand up to her oppressive mother-in-law.

Normally I am conflicted when authors deviate from historical facts in order to cater to a modern readership. This time, I think Lisa stayed so true to the setting that she turned me off. (And her heavy-handed foreshadowing didn’t help.) Life was hard for women back then. I get it. But does that make for an enjoyable read? Not really. And I think that was my problem.

I had the wrong expectations as I entered this book. It wasn't a sprawling historical epic, filled with exciting action, heart-fluttering romance, and distant voyages like Shogun. It was a largely quiet book about quiet life.

Lisa herself admitted she writes sad books. And when she started this book, no one thought it would be successful. China? Women? Gloom? No one will read that! Well, she proved them wrong. Lots of people read it. Heck, I read it.

And it’s worth reading. It made me appreciate the freedom women enjoy today, as well as the potential depth of female friendship. Not to mention, I’m looking down at my feet right now with new appreciation.

[Candi · Rating 4 out of 5]

"For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me – as a girl and later as a woman – to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life."

What a sad yet beautiful book this was! I adore historical fiction that can really immerse me in another time and place and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan did just that. Transported back to 19th century China, I believe I arrived at a better understanding of a woman's position in this society. I learned what it was like to be a daughter, a sister, a wife and a daughter-in-law. I am admittedly grateful for not ever having to experience these often overwhelmingly harsh relationships in the way that these women did! Not for an instant can I imagine having to yearn for my mother's love with the feeling that it was something impossible to attain. And, I most certainly could not fathom bending to my mother-in-law's every command and needing to act as a lowly "visitor" in her home even as the wife of her own son. The cultural practice of footbinding was truly horrific and cringeworthy. If you, like me, decide to google any images, please consider yourself forewarned that it really does look as awful and disfiguring as you would no doubt imagine. Yet, a young girl's future and her marriageability depended heavily on the result of this archaic practice.

The one relationship that I found endearing and one that transcends both time and culture is that of a true friendship. This is so beautifully demonstrated in the bond between the narrator, Lily, and Snow Flower, her "old same". Lisa See really brings to life the nuances of their lifelong friendship which began as little girls with a contract sealing their fates in a laotong relationship. "A laotong match is as significant as a good marriage… A laotong relationship is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose – to have sons." We see the girls grow up together and experience the joys of childhood friendship – laughing, dreaming, and mourning together. The women's secret form of writing, or nu shu, begins with the communication between the little girls on the folds of a special fan that will provide a chronicle of their extraordinary relationship throughout their lives. As married women, they experience both the happiness and the sorrow of giving birth and living under the heavy thumbs of their husbands and mothers-in-law in households that scorn rather than cherish them. And, as with some friendships, these women experience the differences in social standings within a community and suffer from misunderstandings and ultimate betrayal. Can a friendship really withstand anything?

This is a wonderful book for anyone interested in the culture of China during this period and those that enjoy reading about the various connections between women. If you've ever had a true friend, this book will truly speak to you and perhaps make you just a tad nostalgic about the carefree days when you could hope and giggle with your own "bestie". 

[jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

one of the best things a historical fiction book can do is to teach the reader something new.

i may have learned a lot more about footbinding than i wanted to, but i was absolutely enthralled by the dynamics of small chinese villages and the role of women. i loved reading about the history of nu shu and how it facilitated relationships between women.

and even though there is some really fascinating content in this story, i couldnt help but feel disconnected from the two main characters. when lily and snow flower were children, they were radiant little balls of light. but as they got older, they flattened and became one-dimensional. ive read some of LSs more recent books and they have excellent characterisation, so im just going to chalk this one up to being one of her first books and just not being as strong of an author yet.

but this is still a book that offers a lot of learning opportunities, which is something that cant be dismissed.

↠ 3.5 stars

[Petra X · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried to read it. It was so non-compelling, who were these little mice of women, what were they up to, why should I care? MAKE ME CARE. The plot didn't, the characters didn't and so I couldn't get past about page 50. My mind kept drifting off and by the time I was conscious of reading again I wouldn't know what had happened so I had to reread it again and again up unto the fourth rereading of the same pages. (Exactly the same experience I had with Rushdie's Satanic Verses). So I gave up.

I thought it was probably me and not the book, so I downloaded the film. Lord, was it bad or what? Exactly the same experience, it wasn't any more interesting. It's an experience I'm not going to have with the Satanic Verses though. I doubt there's a director (still) alive brave enough to make a film of that book.

[Dem · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book is a magical thing, that lets you travel to far-away places without ever leaving your chair. Quote by Katrina Mayer.
This week I have time travelled to nineteenth-century China, 1970s Texas, 1850s Louisiana and at the moment I am on a whistle stop tour with A Traveller at the Gates of Wisdom by John Boyne and no 2 week isolation required when I return.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is my second novel by Lisa See having read Shanghai Girls a couple of years ago.

Set in Nineteenth Century China and is the story of Lily an 80 year old woman who at the age of seven is paired with a laotong “old same” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime.
Her story is that of a secret world of writings that women shared and ancient Chinese customs of foot binding.

An emotional and fascinating read and you cant help get drawn into the characters lives. I love when a book educates as well as entertains a reader and this novel has a lot of detail on Chinese customs and culture which I really enjoyed.

A short book that really held my attention and another book for my real life book shelf.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Excellent Choice for Book Clubs

I had a hard time putting down this book and felt utterly transported to a village in the Hunan province in central south China during the early to mid-nineteenth century. The narrator, 80-year-old Lily, who refers to herself as one who has "yet to die," tells the story of her life. She has outlived her family members and relates the story of her formative years--and her relationship with another woman, Snow Flower. This well written tale is related with clarity, sentiment, and most poignantly, remorse. It's through remorse that the reader comes to know the true character of Lily, as she reflects upon a misunderstanding she had with her one true love.

Beyond the reflection of Lily's relationship with Snow Flower, a girl she meets at the age of six when they are introduced by the local matchmaker and tied by contract to forever be known as "laotongs," or "old sames," this story provides a lesson in Chinese history and culture. Many have heard of the tradition of feet binding, but through Lisa See's writing, one experiences the excruciating pain and the meaning behind a mother's duty to bind her "worthless" daughters' feet. It's all about marriage and, of course, sex. At once I went to the Internet to look for images of bound feet because I had a terribly hard time visualizing a foot only seven centimeters in length.

I enjoyed every minute of reading this story and I highly recommend it. I think it would make an excellent selection for book clubs, given the vast number of elements to spark topics of conversation: Chinese culture--past and present; Mother-daughter relationships; Foot-binding; Arranged marriage; Female relationships; Lesbian relationships (?); Chinese history; Chinese foods; Chinese geography, etc.

[Magrat Ajostiernos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me ha parecido una belleza de libro de principio a fin. Lleno de costumbres y detalles de la sociedad y de la vida de las mujeres chinas del siglo XIX y sobre la importancia del amor y amistad entre ellas.
Algo que me ha gustado mucho es cómo la autora trata de ponerse en su piel y entender su mentalidad que a veces choca frontalmente con la nuestra, pero lo consigue, y por eso entiendes tan bien a las protagonsitas y todas sus reacciones y decisiones.
He disfrutado mucho de la lectura, y quizás porque sabía de antemano que iba a ser una historia dramática, no la he sufrido tanto, porque a pesar de toda la crudeza, injusticia y dolor, hay espacio para la belleza y la ternura.

[Lisa Vegan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ended up enjoying this book because it was so beautifully written and it took me deep into a world so unlike my own; thank goodness for that! This story takes place in China’s Hunan Province in the 1800s and is more about the inner lives of the women than the men.

I had a complete misconception of what foot binding entailed. It’s completely different, and so much more brutal a practice than I ever could have imagined. There were also many examples given of what I consider other horrendous customs and beliefs. I’ve always believed that tradition and culture that harms is not worth preserving and reading about these people’s lives was a painful experience. The story is fiction but well researched so I’m assuming there was much truth about how women led their lives in that time and place.

I was able to feel some empathy for the storywriter, because I could understand her longing to be loved and the difficulties she had in her upbringing that formed her personality, even though I sometimes had a hard time liking her and many of the characters. I was also irritated by so much of the book. I loathe stories where there’s a horrible miscommunication or misunderstanding that seems so unnecessary, and there’s an example of that here. Also, throughout the book, the narrator is writing the story of her life for another/others in her culture to read, yet the whole time I felt she was educating us in our time & places. So frequently the line “as you know” or “as everyone knows” is used to start a sentence, and I just kept thinking that if everyone knows it the narrator wouldn’t need to say it in that way. The narrator also most of the way through the book alludes to something she’s going to tell the reader and it got to the point where, instead of following along with the story, I just wanted to see what she was going to reveal.

I think that it’s worth it to read the paperback copy because of Lisa See’s notes at the end about the writing of this book,. Perhaps they were there in the hardcover version as well, but often additions such as this aren’t there at publication of the hardcover edition. Also, the paperback has some discussion questions at the end which might come in handy as I read this book for my book club.

The plot & characters did make me think about however women are regarded and what is considered beautiful in various cultures, including our own, can powerfully influence women’s lives. And they also highlight how our various expectations of ourselves and others imposed by our societies can influence human beings. It also made me think a lot about the corrosive power of unresolved anger and trauma.

[Cecily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read and reviewed in 2008. Review updated in 2020 - without rereading the book - to focus on "secret" languages.

This is a first person tale of a Chinese girl in mid the 19th century. It's a poignant story that quietly teaches a lot about the culture of the time and place: poverty, footbinding, marriage, and particularly sisterhood/laotong - a legalistic long-term exclusive "old-same" friendship with another girl.


Image: A secret fan, from the BBC article (link below).

I enjoyed more as it progressed and you see different sides to the main characters.

Nǚshū - the secret language of women

This book was my introduction to Nǚshū, a script women used to support each other, especially in the early days after marriage.

I've occasionally read about Nǚshū since then, and again just now (October 2020) in a Language Log post, and the somewhat romanticised BBC article it links to.

The apparent contradiction that annoyed me a dozen years ago (that an "illiterate" mother writes something for her grandmother's funeral only 15 pages later) is a mere misunderstanding: many of the women who learned Nǚshū were illiterate - in regular Chinese characters. But they were not - obviously - illiterate in Nǚshū.

I think Nǚshū is even more aesthetically pleasing than normal Chinese calligraphy, and both articles are worth reading (click the links in the paragraph above).


Image: Nǚshū, from the Language Log article (link above).

Other gendered languages?

Sociologists observe differences in the spoken, written, and body language of men and women (John Gray probably mentions it at exaggerated length in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus). The difference is that it's a spectrum of the same language: men, women, and anyone in between are, to some extent, aware of these differences.

I do wonder how "secret" Nǚshū really was. I assume some men knew of its existence, and probably a few learned it. How much might that dilute its usefulness? I've wondered the same about the police's Ask for Angela scheme: a discreet phrase customers can say to bar staff if they feel threatened. A nice idea, but it's widely advertised. Abusers will know of it.

There's irony in the fact that "Today, much of what we know about Nüshu is due to the work of male researcher" (BBC article).

[Repellent Boy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probablemente sea una de las historias de amor más bonitas que he leído. Porque aunque el libro trata de muchas cosas, el tema principal es el amor entre Flor de Nieve y Lirio Blanco. Esta última va a narrarnos las venturas y desventuras de su vida desde su más tierna infancia hasta su vejez, pasando por todos los momentos clave de su vida.

A través de las palabras de Lirio Blanco, vamos a ir conociendo las tradiciones de la época, el pobre papel de la mujer en esa sociedad tan patriarcal y como jugaba con las pocas cartas que le caían en la mano. La valía de la mujer se media en función a su capacidad de tener hijos. Y por supuesto, estos hijos debían ser varones. Las mujeres que solo tenían hembras, eran desechadas rápidamente y tratadas como exclavas. La mujer debía obedecer a su padre, una vez casada a su marido y cuando viuda a su hijo. Por eso me llamó especialmente la atención el dicho que no paraban de repetir "Obedece, obedece, obedece, y luego haz lo que quieras". Dentro de sus posibilidades, las mujeres luchaban contra la situación. Sobre todo el personaje de Flor de Nieve demuestra la lucha de la mujer que no se conforma. ¡Vaya pedazo de personaje!

Una de las cosas que más me han gustado es el claro reflejo de como esas tradiciones tan arcaicas pasaban de generación en generación. Nuestra protagonista no entendía y recriminaba su trato por la sociedad y por su propia familia, por el simple hecho de ser mujer. Sin embargo, conforme iba creciendo, adoptaba ella misma esos roles y esas barbaridades como normales y las ejercía con sus hijos y con ella misma. Si es el único modelo que ves desde pequeña, es el único que sabes seguir.

Uno de los temas más atractivos de la novela es el nu shu, el lenguaje secreto que las mujeres crearon muchos siglos atrás para comunicarse entre ellas. Para poder escapar del silencio y el aislamiento al que las sometían los hombres. Llevaba años queriendo leer sobre el tema y este libro me ha despertado aún más la curiosidad. Neceisto leer más cositas sobre el nu shu.

El vendado de los pies es otro tema que llevaba mucho tiempo queriendo leer en profundidad, y he aprendido bastante. De hecho, es mucho más reciente de lo que creemos, ya que aunque se prohibió oficialmente a finales del sigo XIX, en entornos rurales se siguió practicando hasta bien avanzado el siglo XX. Probablemente una de las prácticas más brutales que se han hecho contra la mujer con el único objetivo del disfrute masculino.

Y como ya he dicho, el tema de fondo siempre es la relación entre Flor de Nieve y Lirio Blanco. Ambas se conocen de niñas, cuando sus dos familias las unen como almas gemelas (o laotang), ya que comparten similitudes en su vida. Van a ir creciendo juntas, mientras va aumentado el amor que sienten la una por la otra. Incluso una vez casadas y con hijos, son la una para la otra. Una historia de amor preciosa. Un amor que no solo goza de lo físico, sino de lo espiritual. Varias escenas de las que compartían las dos se van a quedar en mi memoria para siempre.

Todo lo bueno que me llegaba de esta novela era totalmente cierto. ¡Es una joya! Ahora solo me queda seguir leyendo a esta autora, que desde ya entra en ese selecto grupo de autores a los que adorar <3.

[Rowena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has got to be one of the most beautiful, yet heartbreaking books that I have ever read. The subject matter is horrific but the story is truly engaging.

The main storyline in this book is about the horrible patriarchal practise, foot-binding, that took place in China in the past. The graphic descriptions in this book are certain to turn anyone’s stomach. I would like to know who decided that 7 centimetre-long feet were “sexy.” The obsession with feet truly perplexed me; how could young men know nothing about their future betrothed wives except what size their feet were? Obviously foot-binding was a practice to control women, which was a point I made to a feminist I was talking to when a man suddenly interrupted our conversation and accused us of waging a war against men!

Also, it’s so sad how culturally women were undervalued in Chinese society. They suffered so much abuse and, from a very young age, they were cultivated for marriage because, after all, all women were good for was for giving birth to sons. Everything they did was to prepare them for marriage yet when they eventually married their in-laws weren’t even satisfied and everyone was miserable. What’s the point? Excuse my sarcastic tone but I cannot wrap my head around how awful this part of Chinese history is. Instead of protecting women in society, women were made to feel worthless and their lives are also put into peril. It was truly heartbreaking.

Lisa See brilliantly captured the reality of Chinese life in the past. I also thought that part of the book about the laotang and sisterhood was lovely, as well as the parts about the secret writing, and the art of storytelling.

Definitely a great book but not one that I’d ever read again, it’s too distressing.

[Adina ( back from Vacay…slowly recovering)]

I do not like it enough to finish

[Barb H · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually wavered between giving this book a rating of 3 or 4 stars. This is not because Lisa See was unable to portray the life in this feudal Chinese society well, because much of this was vivid and interesting. The oppression of women, including the horrors of footbinding, isolation and servitude to men and one's in-laws were all clearly and often dismayingly illustrated.

One problem with this novel is how much better the tale could have been related if written in the third person, rather than the use of Lily as narrator. After learning throughout this book that she was a sensitive, caring, pledged lifelong friend; she becomes a cruel,selfish and judgemental harridan to Snow Flower. These very factors were so antithetical to what was supposed to have been developed between these two women and what they had always professed would be their relationship, that it was difficult to continue the reading with the same attitude of enjoyment and appreciation. I often found that See did not work hard enough to develop either her plot lines or her characters. She often glossed over some segments, seemingly in order to reach her next period of time.

Despite these criticisms, I found this book often compelling with a level of anticipation for the reader.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading a lot of historical fiction lately, I think my brain might be at full capacity 😅. Still, Lisa See’s writing never fails to impress me — it’s delicate, emotional, and steeped in history.

I went in knowing about foot binding (my father’s mother actually had bound feet, which still haunts me to this day), but reading it through See’s words gave it new emotional depth. She really captures the quiet endurance and suffering of women in that time.

That said, about halfway through I started to lose steam. The story began feeling repetitive, and some of the emotional beats reminded me of The Island of Sea Women. I also tend to get frustrated when terminal illness is used as a plot device — it’s effective, but it feels overused here.

Still, I understand why people love this book. It’s an intimate, bittersweet story about female friendship, loyalty, and forgiveness — one that lingers long after the last page.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

2010 F.A.B. Bookclub pick # I.❤️. F.A.B.

While I found the historic aspects of the book fascinating, it was a fairly depressing read. I was holding onto hope that it would become uplifting at some point. There is no happiness in this book. I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone. It wasn't bad, but It wasn't amazing either.

[Moses Kilolo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. A spectacular book.

I haven’t read anything this deeply affecting for quite a while {at least on the level of love and relationships}. I was hooked from the beginning. And the grace and depth of Lisa See’s storytelling had me contemplating about life and the deeds and the choices we make concerning our own lives, those that are made on our behalf and how all these affects those who we most cherish. Fate. Is it something nature, or us, or others, or some higher power design for us? Is it really predestined, as these girls were made to believe?

Ever since that first message that Snow Flower send little Lily, when they were just children, the stage was set for what was meant to be a lifetime of friendship. As events unfold, as life happens, an absolutely heartbreaking and unforgettable story is woven. It also reminded me of Adichie’s the danger of a single story – given that I recently read The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck, where I was first introduced to the Chinese practice of foot binding. From what I’ve gathered from this book, it loosely equates to Female Genital Mutilation, which until recently has been widely practiced here in Africa. And what a cruel thing it is – girls so young stand the risk of actually dying in the process, like happened to Lily’s sister. Lisa, however, goes beyond this, which she has offered in an heartfelt detail, to other aspects of the Chinese culture – especially those that of concern to women.

Quite fascinating is the issue of nu shu, one of the central themes, which is described as the women’s secret writing. Under all that isolation and oppression that these women suffered, it is a wonderful thing that they invented a secret code/language/writting in which they could communicate in secret, offer and share comfort.

Lisa See’s narrative is beautiful, and from the writing itself you may discern a depth that arises not only from research and writing talent, but from the heart of a writer who knows the matters of the heart. From her’s to all others that will come across this wonderfully crafted, deeply felt work of fiction.

It is an amazing lesson on friendship too, and of course – that deep heart love.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever since reading Memoirs of a Geisha, I've been looking for a book that will let me relive that excitement. So I was hoping that Snow Flower and the Secret Fan would fit the bill for my craving for Asian drama :)

I would have to say that this book did not. I found it difficult to get invested in the characters who seemed somewhat flat to me. The narrator wasn't engaging enough to make me feel a connection to her. Really, the strength of the book in my opinion was the detail it spent in developing an understanding of the cultural issues surrounding Chinese women and the custom of footbinding. Which, of course, is horrible mutilation to a woman living in the 21st century Western world, but was the very epitome of beauty and sexual turn-on for 19th century Chinese. So I would say it gets an A+ for effectively fleshing out that cultural way of life, but probably just a "B-" for characters. I wanted to care more about them than I did, but when the book was over, I was more interested in Googling pictures of bound feet than mourning the loss of their friendship and the misunderstandings that undid the two main characters.

[Ace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really hate cultures that put the importance of one human being over another and particularly boys over girls (mine included). But, Lisa See did a great job in taking us into the hearts and souls of two women and the hardships and love that they lived, endured and suffered over their lifetime. There are many tigger warnings here, foot-binding, disrespectful treatment of women by men and by women and some very poverty stricken circumstances makes for very difficult reading. If you want a more thorough understanding or review of this book, I suggest you read one of the other 300 thousand reviews. I don't have any energy left after finishing this one. Sigh.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story revolves around Lily and Snow Flower, two girls in rural China who - as seven-year-olds - become laogong, official lifelong best friends.



The girls have their feet bound on the same day (a horrifying practice in which a girl's feet are bound until the bones break and they can be contorted into a small shape), visit on occasion, and frequently write each other on a fan in a language called Nu Shu or women's writing - supposedly unreadable by men.



Nu Shu

As the girls grow up they marry, move to their husbands familial homes, have children, and face the many challenges of being a woman in 19th century China. Traditionally, women in China had no rights. Once their feet were bound girls were mostly confined to a 'woman's room' where they sewed and embroidered and so on, and - once married - were expected to obey their husbands and mothers-in-law and to produce sons.



In Chinese culture it seems wives jobs were to have sons, and this is almost all they were good for. The husbands, on the other hand, could apparently do whatever they liked - take concubines, beat their wives, discard their wives, etc.


Chinese man with concubines

From the first time they meet as children Lily and Snow Flower have a strong emotional bond. They share hopes and dreams and plan to be friends forever. Secrets in Snow Flower's life challenge the friendship but the girls' manage to get past this and maintain their bond.

Eventually Lily makes a fortunate marriage into an influential family with a decent husband while Snow Flower marries into a low family that treats her badly. Lily produces two strong sons while Snow Flower endures difficult pregnancies, miscarriages, and stillbirths - and when she finally has a son - he is a weakling who seems destined to die young. In time both women go on to produce more children, and when they have daughters, plan that the girls will also be laogong.


In China, a woman was expected to produce sons

Through it all - as Snow Flower's difficulties come to weigh heavily on her - Lily is constantly counseling her best friend to behave correctly, be a good wife, obey her husband, placate her mother-in-law, and continue to get pregnant. Events conspire to produce a crisis between the friends where their true feelings are dramatically exposed.



It was interesting to read about the Chinese traditions, lifestyles, and people of the time but the book is slow and meandering and the characters, though well-drawn, were not likable and hard to care about. In addition - for me - the description of how women were treated is hard to stomach. I was also reminded that the devaluation of women continues in China today - where female infants are often killed or discarded. This ensures that many men can't find women to marry. One might speculate that - with the one child policy - the Chinese government should have seen this coming.

For those interested in learning about 19th century China I'd recommend reading a non-fiction book and skipping this one.

You can follow my reviews at http://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com/

[Jsiva · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a skeptical reader, I have to admit. But despite my reservations, I got swept into the narrative. I really enjoyed how Lily was at a stage where she was reliable and truthful about her realizations. The many differences in culture, thought, and beliefs were portrayed in a respectful manner. It was their way of life, and they believed it to be the right way... however much we may cringe or feel frustrated... it is good to remember that an outsider can readily list the practices that we have, as equally absurd, cruel, or damaging.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.

At the age of seven, Lily has already found her laotong, a person with whom her friendship will last a lifetime. Though they are both born in the year of the horse, at first glance Snow Flower transcends anything and anyone Lily has ever known. The two girls write to each other in nu shu, the secret language of Chinese women, and their bond blossoms - together, they endure the painful practice of foot binding, the trials and tribulations of arranged marriages, and the joys and sorrows of motherhood. At the age of 80, Lily recounts their shared lives, including the tragic incident that may have tore them apart.

Many people praise two elements within Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: foot binding and nu shu. Foot binding disturbs me no matter how many times I read about it. Though it does reveal a lot about women within Chinese society and what they suffered through for status, I still had to take deep breaths and numb my mind with music when I read the scene where Lily and her sisters had their feet bound. Nu shu also adds a cultural component to the context of the story, and from the author's note in the back of the book I could tell Lisa See researched it extensively.

Because the narrative of the book entails Lily looking back on her entire life, the writing comes across as detached and clinical at times. While Lisa See still incorporates wonderful imagery whenever Lily manages to escape the women's chamber, her passive perspective provides us with an authentic view of women within China's social hierarchy. Yes, it really does suck to read about the abuses women suffered at the hands of those they held closest to them. But through Lily's experience we gain a greater fortitude against such behavior - and we learn that friendship can help us fight it.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan draws almost all of its strength from Lily and Snow Flower's friendship. If I were to discuss it in a book club setting, foot binding, nu shu, and the role of women in Chinese society would all serve as appetizers. The laotong relationship between Snow Flower and Lily would act as my meal. It encompasses endless emotions and ideas: love, shared sadness, bittersweet humor, longing, and my favorite, redemption. Lily's character in relation to Snow Flower and the actions they take because of each other amaze me. Within a minute I could relate their bond to affirmative action, the psychological rules of attraction, my own personal friendships, and much more.

Highly recommended for those in search of a quiet, poignant story. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is by no means a thriller, but it is profoundly touching, to say the very least.

*review cross-posted on my blog, the quiet voice.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give this book a reluctant four because I really disliked the protagonist. Without giving out spoilers and speaking in broad strokes only, she rose in society and turned into a snot. She then abused her powers unfairly because she felt slighted without understanding what happened. Then she tries to make up for it, but the kind of pain she caused is not something I would personally forgive. But the storytelling was very, and hence, it is a reluctant 4.

[✨Bean's Books✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a sad story.
Snow Flower and Lily are laotong. They are "old sames". Joined forever in a bond of sisterhood that runs deeper than blood since the time of their foot binding (7 years old). But life's hardships has no mercy for these two young women. and as women in China their life holds no value. Can their laotong bond withstand the tragedies that life throws at them?
This book was a glimpse into the lives of women in China before the 19th century. It was very interesting in many respects. The book had obviously been very well-researched before written down.
I have to say the one chapter that I absolutely did not like was the chapter where they explain in great detail the horror of the process of foot binding for young women in China. This chapter was so detailed and written in such a way that it became so real that it made me physically ill. Like I seriously wanted to throw up!
With all of the sorrow and pain that these two women endure there is lots in this book about the happiness and joy that life brings them as well. These were my favorite chapters. I especially loved the chapter that ended right before their first children were to be born. This was probably the peak of happiness in this book and was very well written.
It is more than sad what women had to endure in this time. To grow up believing that you are worthless unless you bear a son which you have no control over. And even then to be categorized as lower than a dog in the household... just disgusting. But it is a harsh reality that we all have to face in the fact that that is the way it was. We cannot erase history but rather we can learn from it as we move forward.
I have said it before and I will say it again, this book is very well written. The storyline as well thought-out, well-researched and very easy to follow. The characters are more than identifiable even with their (now) alien way of living to someone who lives in the western world. And as a woman reading this book I found myself wanting deep down to have a laotong of my very own 💞.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone but especially to women in order to get better perspective on their life and to enjoy a good story about the bonds of sisterhood.

[Garnette · Rating 3 out of 5]

My book club was more interested in talking about their trips to China than See's book. So I am happy for Good Reads. While I found the writing journalistic: that is competent, extremely well researched, fast paced, page-turning, I cannot truly say it was well written. No phrase or passage noteworthy for its beauty or addition to literature. I was fascinated, however, by the potential for beautiful prose but lists just don't do that for me. The publisher's missed an opportunity to replicate the secret fan from See's clues - would have been a bonus. The dynamics of the women's relationships were fascinating, reminiscent of The Joy Luck Club. I sorrowed at the footbound therefore dutybound therefore ironbound feminine mind. Why did See not correlate the inter-relationship between body, mind and spirit? The bound feet reflected the bounded mind, bound by the society, filtered by necessity through the mother-jailers also prisoners of the system. Still, I longed for Lily of the Golden Lilies to recognize that with her smart thinking she had the ability to lessen Snow Flower's burden, a bit of rice here, some smuggled cloth there, cash, quilts. I even thought Snow Flower could have been brought in as a concubine. Lots of juicy plot possibility there. And I wonder at the morality of the wealthy women who could cast out her beloved friend without a hearing. To publicly humiliate an already humiliated person who had everything to lose from the shunning while Lily had won only an egoist's victory. And lost the one who loved her most in the ego-frenzy. Conversation over tea, sitting in the innner room and sugar-crackled tofu would on the other hand not have served See's plot. Hard to read while the Chinese government was strong-arming Tibet. The mental foot binding continues - not only in China of course.

[Joy D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set in China in the early to mid -19th century, this book tells of a deep friendship between two women, Lily and Snow Flower. Their relationship, known as a laotong, is intended to last a lifetime. It begins when they are children and is arranged by a matchmaker. The girls learn and communicate in a secret women’s-only written language, nu shu, which differs significantly from men’s writing. Snow Flower and Lily inscribe messages on a fan and send it by courier to each other, similar to a pen pal, at major milestones in their lives. At age eighty, Lily is looking back on her life and recording their stories for a specific reason, which will eventually be revealed.

The book is a deep examination of Chinese culture of the era through the eyes of its women at a time when women were expected to be subservient to men and to produce sons. This story includes the horrors of foot-binding, which was seen as a sign of beauty – the ideal was seven centimeters. I had heard of foot-binding but had no idea of what it entailed. Other cultural aspects include social classes, official ceremonies, traditions, and storytelling.

This book is beautifully written and provides a sense of a real relationship between these women, filled with love, conflict, and heartbreak. As with the best historical fiction, it transports the reader to a time and place and feels authentic. I was able to picture the region in my mind’s eye through Lisa See’s detailed descriptions of the food, weather, clothing, and landscapes. I gained an appreciation for the arduous lives of the women of the time and what they endured. This one will stay in my memory for a long while.

[Evelina | AvalinahsBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVED Snow Flower and the Secret Fan! It was sad, yet fulfilling, true and honest, yet fictional. A truly moving story about the hardships of being a woman in nineteenth-century China. Yes, foot binding too. We'll get there. By the way, this is going to be a buddy read review, so get ready to read a lot of questions and answers! If you want to read the interview questions and answers, read them on my blog here, as it is too long to put into a Goodreads review.

In nineteenth century China, a girl from a poor family is paired into a lifelong female friendship match with a girl from a family of a higher social standing. So her life begins, and we learn about it through her own eyes, as she is growing up. Not only does Snow Flower and the Secret Fan extensively cover the woman's place and life in pre-modern China, but it's also a tale about sisterhood, trust and empathy, as well as just being a good human being, no matter what your circumstances are -- or failing to be one.


Read the full review here.


You might like this book, if you liked these books:





I have quite an assortment of books for this one! First of all, naturally I'm going to recommend another novel of Lisa See's that tells about the traditions of a different minority of the Chinese people: The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane . Meanwhile, if you are more into reading about courtesans, you might enjoy Amy Tan's The Valley of Amazement , which is also a tale of hardship and involves some foot binding and other traditions, but in a completely different situation for the main character. I will even go as far as saying that Snow Flower and the Secret Fan has ties to The Handmaid's Tale , because it's about strong female relationships in a terribly restricting, even violent society for women. Brick Lane is also from a different cultural context, not China - however, it also deals with women's freedom and the woman's place in different cultures. And The Secrets of Jin-Shei is fantasy, and might have one or two cliches, but it's also the only (older!) book that I've read that uses nu shu as a part of the plot.


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[ياسمين Thabet · Rating 5 out of 5]

جوهر الادب الاسيوي يفتح براعمه وينشر عبقه في هذا العمل الذي اقل ما يقل عنه انه تحفة فنية لن تتكرر

لطالما كانت تعاني النساء وماتزال وسنزال نعاني حتى نهاية هذا الكون ولكن معانة النساء في الصين فتلك الحقبة السوادء فاقت كل التوقعات


هذه الرواية تتحدث عن عدو المرأة الحقيقي...المرأة الاخرى....التي تقبل عليها المهانة وتصعد فوق معاناتها...هذه الاسطورة الرقيقة التي تصف معاناة الزواج التقليدي...معاني الصداقة..مرورا بدهاليز ضيقة وسرية للمجتمع لم نكن لنستطيع الوصول اليها او الا معانيها في الف كتاب تاريخ


حين تصير قدم المرأة هي رمز جمالها! فتتكسر عظام الفتيات الصغار لانهم يربطون اقدامهم عند النمو فقط ليستطعن تزويجهن فيما بعد!


نماذج:







لم اقرأ في حياتي شيئا مثيرا للشفقة والسخرية ولكنها رمز لتفاهة مقاييس الجمال التي تكبل المرأة في كل العصور!



الرواية تحكي عن عجوز ثمانينية عاشت في عصر لا يمكن وصفه بالكلمات...اثقلها الندم في نهاية حياتها فكتبت بلغة النوشو القديمة التي كانت لغة نسائية تنفس بها النساء في هذا العصر عن معاناتهم من مجتمع الرجال فيما بينهم...لغة سرية تسجل على المراوح والورقيات وهذه نماذج منها:







كتبت زهرة الزنبق عن صديقتها بالقسم زهرة الثلج...البشرية الاقرب لقلبها على الاطلاق...كيف نمت صداقتهم وكيف عانتا سويا وكيف كان الزمن رحميا مع بطلتنا وظالما مع الاخرى...وكيف كان يسير نهر الاحزان من الاولى الى الاخرى ليصب في قلبيهما تعلقا لا فصام فيه انتقل الى الابناء والاحفاد..
من خلاله تصف مراحل النضج...طبقات المجتمع وكيف تنظر كل طبقة الى اخرى...كيف كانت تتحكم الخاطبات باهل الفتيات وبمصير سعادة وتعاسة النساء والرجال على حد سواء...كيف كان يتم الاختيار بناءا على صفات عجيبة جدا..


اريد ان اشير الى ان هذه الرواية تحمل انسانية ولحظات حقيقية تكفي بحر الحياة كلها...بكيت فيها كما لم ابكي في عمل ادبي...اريد ان اضع هذا العمل في عين كل انسان تسول له نفسه ان يقلل من كتابات النساء ويقول انها كتابات قاصرة او تافهة...اعطني اسم رجل يستطيع ان يكتب مثل هذه التحفة الفنية ويلمس اعمق نقطة في قلبك بهذا الشكل وبتلك السلاسة والبساطة

فهي تحكي ابشع كوابيسك بشكل يجعلك تشعر ان هذه هي الحياة ولا مناص منها...بحروف بسيطة تنقل لك اعظم الخبرات...اسلوب ر اقي مؤثر بدون تكلف او لف او دوران...الرواية ستحبس انفاسك واتحدى من يستطيع ان يقفز سطرا وهو يقرأ صفحاتها

بل اتحدى القارئ ان ينتبه حتى الى الساعة فلقد فاتتني عدة مواعيد على مدار الايام التي قرأت فيها هذا العمل


وادعو الجميع لمشاهدة الفيلم snow flower and the secret fan المأخوذ عن الرواية فهو اكثر من رائع


عمل لا يستحق القراءة فقط بل يستحق التخليد

مقتطفات رائعة:

[Tessa Nadir · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lisa Lee s-a nascut la Paris si este o autoare americana cu ascendenta chineza petrecandu-si mare parte a vietii la Los Angeles in China Town unde a organizat nenumarate evenimente culturale.
Pentru scrierea acestui roman a calatorit intr-o regiune izolata din China unde a studiat scrierea secreta a femeilor de acolo. Se crede ca Nu Shu este o scriere codificata folosita de femeile dintr-o zona indepartata a sudului provinciei Hunan care a aparut in urma cu 1000 de ani.
Cartea a aparut in 2005 si vorbeste despre prietenia a doua femei Floare de Crin si Floare de Zapada precum si despre corespondenta secreta dintre ele.
Pornim de la copilaria Florii de Crin ce venise pe lume in Anul Calului, sub dominatia imparatului Daoguang si se tragea din neamul Yi. Ea si-a petrecut primii ani concurand cu surorile ei pentru atentia mamei lor.
Cand a implinit 6 ani petitoarea ii spune ca este speciala si ca ar putea sa aiba mare noroc si sa se marite intr-o familie bogata. Ea invata atunci tot ce trebuie sa stie o fata virtuoasa dar si scrierea secreta a femeilor din acea zona numita Nu Shu. Aceasta ii era necesara pentru ca aparuse ocazia de a deveni o laotong, adica de a fi sufletul pereche al unei alte fete care are calitati similare cu ea (cele 8 caractere atat de vitale in horoscopul chinezesc se potrivesc). Aceasta va fi Floare de Zapada, care facea parte dintr-o familie mult mai buna ca a ei. Ele isi vor consolida prietenia cu ajutorul unui evantai pe care vor nota intamplarile fericite si triste ale vietii lor.
Ne sunt descrise multe obiceiuri si traditii locale chinezesti practicate in momentele cheie ale vietii, la nastere, casatorie, inmormantare dar si un obicei ingrozitor cum ar fi 'legarea picioarelor' tinerelor fete. "Picioarele de lotus" - simbolul aristocratiei si o conditie pentru o casatorie reusita, a fost una dintre cele mai barbare si inumane practici chinezesti ale timpului.
Coperta este foarte frumoasa , intreaga colectie "Pentru tine", cu cescuta de ceai ca simbol, a editurii Rao fiind superba.
O carte profunda despre prietenie, sentimente, iubirea de mama, destinul femeilor, locul lor in lume, in inima unei familii, a unei societati. O carte ce poate fi citita de toate femeile ca o alinare pentru momentele de singuratate, suferinta dar si bucurie pe care o da statutul de iubita, sotie, mama.
In incheiere atasez cateva citate care cuprind viziunea chineza despre cum ar trebui sa fie o fata plina de virtute si pregatita de casatorie:
"Sa fii neprihanita si supusa, calma si onesta in atitudini; sa fii tacuta si agreabila in cuvinte; sa fii retinuta si rafinata in miscari; sa fii desavarsita la lucrul manual si la broderie. Daca fetele nu se abat de la aceste principii, ele vor deveni femei virtuoase."
"O adevarata doamna nu lasa sa intre nimic urat in viata ei, repeta ea la nesfarsit, infigand in mine cuvintele. Numai prin durere vei obtine frumusete. Numai prin suferinta vei gasi pacea."
"Putem sa ne iubim fiicele din toata inima, dar trebuie sa le educam prin suferinta. Ne iubim fiii mai presus de orice, dar nu putem niciodata sa facem parte din lumea lor, lumea exterioara a barbatilor."
"Poti fi disperata, dar sa nu lasi pe nimeni sa te vada altfel decat ca pe o femeie cultivata."
"... singura noastra protectie reala, ca femei, era imaginea linistita pe care o afisam, chiar si in momentele de mare suferinta."

[Soledad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever wanted to know how it would have been if you would have lived in another time, like the Roaring Twenties, or ancient Egypt or Rome? Well the book Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See, took me to 19th century China. I felt like I had lived with Lily and experience her hardships, like her foot binding. This book made me realize how lucky I am to have been born in the 20th century, and to the culture I was born in. Everything that Lily and Snow Flower experience makes this book one of the best books I have read in the past couple of years. There way of life, what was expected of them, having no choice in their future, it amazes me to know that similar situations still happen in 2008. Anyway, this book tells of the story of how two people can become one, and how human mistakes can change people’s lives. Lisa See brings to life a world that has long been gone, the landscape and food of 19th century China are reborn in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. The setting of the book, and the imagery all add to the emotional rollercoaster you experience in this book. You also get a first hand understanding of the culture Lily and Snow Flower grow up in. The only thing that these women were expected to do was learn to cook and clean, obey their mother, father and older brothers. They were also expected to marry, with a guy that the family thought would be proper. They were also expected to get their ‘foot binding’ when they were six years old. They had no free will, and were not encouraged to think about anything other than caring for the home, children, and satisfying their husband. Lily and Snow Flower were lucky to be laotong, or “old same.” Lily and Snow Flower also had the privilege to learn the language that had been made by women for women in Chain, a way to communicate with each other without the men knowing what was being said. The language was known as nu sh. Lily and Snow Flower are destined to be friends, but they become sister, and as we know sisters have fights, but for Lily her ignorance leads to her to become prideful. But if you wish to know more about the life of Lily and Snow Flower you must read this book, it will make you smile and cry, but it will give you a sample of the incredible life of women in 19th century China.