Finally The Bride: Finding Hope While Waiting

by Cheryl McKay

Why Would God Care About My Love Life?

From the woman behind the screenplay and novel, Never the Bride, comes a roller coaster of a love story with God. Cheryl McKay pulls no punches about what it's really like to be single, with your age creeping up, and no end in sight to the wait for love and marriage.

It seems that many years ago, God asked Cheryl to surrender the pen she was using to write her love story. All He wanted was carte blanche. No problem, right? Cheryl tentatively conceded--that is, until it became apparent that the Almighty had no intention of conforming to her writing schedule, much less the tick of her biological clock. In fact, He blew every deadline she ever attempted to set. As romance seemed to pass Cheryl by, she couldn't help but question: Could God really be trusted to bring her the love of her life?

Written during a long wait, this book opens up Cheryl's painfully honest, personal journals. She explores what it's like to enlist in God's Marriage Boot Camp, and how to survive singlehood year after solitary year. She wrestles with her Creator over multiple best friends that never see her "that way." Then there are those lists of what she wanted--you know, the ones she revised a billion times then laminated for safekeeping. She watches, bewildered, as much younger women find love that seems to elude her.

Through it all, she falls head over heels for a God who proves Himself to be as resistant to her controls as He is faithful beyond her wildest dreams.

Are you still waiting? Have you lost hope? Venture to victory with a woman who knows just how hard it is to wait for the day when you are Finally the Bride.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction, Faith

258 pages, ebook

First published March 25, 2012

About the author

CHERYL MCKAY been professionally writing since 1997. Before creating, showrunning, and executive producing the multi-award-winning Season One of These Stones, Cheryl wrote the screenplay for The Ultimate Gift. She co-wrote the faith-based feature films, Indivisible and Extraordinary, as well as multiple children’s projects, including 5 episodes of Superbook and 40 episodes of the audio drama, The Wild & Wacky Totally True Bible Stories with Frank Peretti. In addition to film and television, Cheryl has enjoyed penning novels like Song of Springhill and the award-winning Never the Bride (with Rene Gutteridge), as well as nonfiction books, including Finally the Bride: Finding Hope While Waiting, Finally Fearless; Journey from Panic to Peace, and a three-part devotional series, 25 Dates With God. She recently published the Study Guide book (with Susan Rohrer) that goes with Season One of These Stones and the first two books in her children’s series, Potter Knows Best. Her desire from the beginning of her writing career has been to make an impact through words and change the world for good through writing.

Reviews

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw this book recommended on a blog discussion I read several weeks ago. It was among several women approaching their 30s who have a desire for marriage but no past or current relationship prospects to speak of (yes, I am one of them). It piqued my interest, considering I've seen so few books geared toward single women that reached beyond "what you need to do if you want a man."
There is something so comforting about this book. It's just so raw and real. Cheryl McKay writes to single women, as a single woman. She doesn't sugarcoat her desire or her frustration; instead she bares all, including journal entries she wrote to God and the responses she received back, in the midst of providing important points and lessons to us on waiting and building our relationship with God.
At times her journaled frustrations and cries to God may seem to be repetitive, or in conflict with the points she's trying to make about trusting God. But she's human, and she doesn't pretend that her attitude in her journal entries is always right. I actually found it comforting to see that she had to remind herself of the points that she would later write to others in similar situations. She wants to let her readers know that they are not alone in the circumstances they face, and I can appreciate that.
I was insipred to read from a spirit-filled single Christian woman who could really relate to where I am relationally, and I love reading what McKay has to say about the relationship we need to develop with God. I appreaciate the honesty of her story, and the stories she includes of those who came before her.
If you're single, this book will inspire you. If you're waiting, on anything, this book will encourage you as well. It truly is a book about finding hope in the waiting, regardless of what you're waiting on.

[Lana Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cheryl's book Finally The Bride is an honest, thorough, delightful book. You don't have to be single and waiting to get something out of it; I've been married for nine years and still I found myself taking notes in the chapters where she talks about waiting on God for something He has promised us. I love her easy style, as if you are in a conversation with her over coffee. And any time an author shares real journal entries with their readers I know the story is going to be good, genuine, heartfelt. That is exactly what this is. This book manages to be funny, convicting, moving, encouraging and challenging all at once. I loved witnessing Cheryl's relationship with God through these pages and being encouraged by how He speaks to her and how she listens to Him. This is a fabulous book written by one with a lovely heart!

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Starved for a soul mate? Follow McKay’s breadcrumbs along this very
personal journey of faith. This is no light confection of a book. Frankly
witty and achingly raw, it is written out of first-hand experience by a
woman who choked down one rejection after another, year after
bewildering year. It’s about turning to God for heart-level sustenance
through extended lean seasons, and the romantic feast she discovered
at long last, waiting at the table of her First Love.”

Susan Rohrer, Author
THE HOLY SPIRIT: Amazing Power for Everyday People
IS GOD SAYING HE’S THE ONE:
Hearing from Heaven about That Man in Your Life

[Tripleguess · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would like to give this book three and a half stars.

It is clear that the author wants to help people; it's just as clear that she often substitutes "prophetic words" for common sense. That is my biggest issue with this book.

So you can understand where I'm coming from: I grew up in a fairly conservative family. I've had charismatic friends and some of them are wonderful people. I am not, overall, comfortable with "Charismatic," but I can get along with people who are Charismatic if we can agree to differ; I don't see it as a friendship-threatening issue at all though if marriage were concerned certain things should be hammered out beforehand.

Anyway, to cite the three worst "sticking points:"

-the author believes in and participates in receiving "prophetic words:" specific words "from God," that are not in the Bible, spoken by another person. I am currently in the "I really don't know, it could be okay, but I haven't studied the issue and I need to before accepting/rejecting it; in the meantime I am leery" zone.

Going on those prophetic words, she then takes dreams and coincidences as further signs and confirmations. The most extreme examples: certain digits in a guy's number (indicating that he was "supposed" to call her), license plate numbers, name tags next to each other on a store rack. Why not play with Tarot cards while you're at it.

She admits that she has been burned by these practices at times and advises caution.

-ZERO COMMON SENSE ABOUT THE BASIC WORKINGS OF MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS. This bugged me the most! If she had gotten a copy of "All The Rules" and put at least some of it into practice, it would have done her more good than twenty prophetic-word meetings! Worst example: she allows a guy she's interested in to keep her on the phone for THREE HOURS -- get this -- the very FIRST TIME he calls. As it turns out, he's far more enthusiastic about wasting her time and using her as a teddy bear than reciprocating her interest.

It gets worse; she talks about "the five guy 'best friends'" she had before she met her husband -- and how much pain and confusion they caused her. Five. Slow learner.

I have been there: I have wasted hours on the phone (and hundreds of dollars in long-distance bills) on a guy who did not care about me and wasted ten years of my life, insisting right on up til he found someone else to marry that he loved me as much as 'he ever had.' I was young and dumb too. So it makes me angry to read about this woman well into her thirties who hasn't learned the basics of fending off parasites -- and instead of handing her a "how guys play with you if you let them" manual, her fellow Christians give her prophetic words to chase after. Very helpful.

-she says at one point that in her oft-mentioned screenplay "Never the Bride," she writes God showing up -- in human form. Whoa. I'm not sure this is allowed? I'm not going to go into "why you shouldn't draw God" here, just mention that I was not comfortable with the concept; she doesn't specifically say she had "Christ" show up in her screenplay, which would still be pushing it, she just says "God."

I agree with the basic premise of the book, trusting that God loves you and truly wants what's best for you and waiting on Him. Her faith in this area is touching, and I did identify with her struggles (similar age -- but I'm still single). One line that caught me was about how Satan will strike in the area of our deepest hunger if he can, dangling poisonous counterfeits of what we long for. It helped explain to me some of the things that happened in my life that were especially painful.

Her husband's guest chapter is more concise and sensible than the rest of the book.

The book is definitely worth reading. Just be aware of the aforementioned issues.

[Pamela Fernandes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book should be a 'must read' for Christian singles, men and women. There were a number of things that I loved about this book. One that the author was brutally honest and brave to write her own experiences. This is a tell all from 39 year old Cheryl waiting for "The One." To many Christians, this may seem difficult, but Cheryl is spot on when she explains the reasons for waiting before marriage, listening to God's voice, limiting friendships with men who don't commit and the virtue of chastity. I also liked that Chris, her husband shares his story at the end, apologizing for doing what he did to so many women, stringing them along, which is why I feel both men and women should read this.
It will also be enlightening, so that men can understand what women go through, how hurt they are by their thoughtless actions. Cheryl's arguments are straightforward. The love stories at the end of the book, are particularly good as they reflect on different God written love stories. Her account is painful at times, it did bring me to tears on occasion and I highly recommend this book. The audio version, is fantastic. Shawna brings it to life.

[Jackie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mind. Blown.

Ideas on love and Dating. Changed.

Sense? Yeah, it makes more of it than anything I have ever read on the topic.

At first, and until about halfway through the book, I was incredibly frustrated with it. I kept reading about how Cheryl was so much like me, and what on earth was she publishing this book about if all she was going to do was sob about how she is single and wants nothing more than to be married? I already feel that way, I know there are others out there who feel the same way as I do, I hear about it all the time!

But then, right when I was about to cast this piece aside, things started to change. I started to "get it" about why she wrote the book, and where my place was to be in all of this. It just makes sense. Everyone always says "you'll know" about how to know when you've met "the one" and I have always believed that, but I believe it in a different way now. You can't just know he's the one because you WANT him to be the one... no matter how much you love him, you can't make him love you back in the same way... you just have to wait and watch and then you will know.

I also think that what she refers to as "getting to know someone" I refer to this as "dating" already. So when she is saying that she doesn't date, she is doing the exact thing that I do when I say I am "dating" someone. Spending time getting to know them as a friend and/or potential husband is dating as far as I'm concerned. The problem is that the entire world views dating as a flexible commitment in which the couple behave as if they are married while they are around one another (especially alone) but then behave as singles when the other is not around. How heartbreaking!

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read

Very relatable ,lots of good truths,and still gives hope to us women who are living a really good life just not the one we planned or hoped for

[Shannon McDermott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Missing:

My husband. He’s tall. He’s dark. He’s handsome. I think. Actually, I don’t know. I may not have met him yet. He could be a short, balding blond with a dimpled cheek. If you find him, please call me at 1-777-HUSBAND. Reward offered. If you are that guy – the one who hasn’t shown up yet – your M.I.A. status is completely unacceptable to your future wife.

- Cheryl McKay, Finally the Bride

A missing poster, it must be said, is better than a wanted poster. On the other hand, even a wanted poster is better than being put on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List. That will come later, in chapter six. The missing poster is the beginning – the opening salvo of Finally the Bride.

In Finally the Bride, Cheryl McKay takes on the plight of those who have to be single without the Apostle Paul’s special gift for it. She begins by “introducing the impatient one”: herself. She’s single, in her thirties, and everyone has a diagnosis as to what’s causing that. Maybe you can relate. If you feel the sting of those well-meaning people, telling a single woman what her problem is – you probably do.

Using her life as a baseline, Cheryl McKay spends the next twelve chapters exploring singleness in all its facts and feelings. She writes about the upside and the downside, the advantages and the vulnerabilities. She writes about how to best prepare for marriage; she writes about living the single years to their fullest.

She writes the most about God. Here we come to the main idea of the book. God, Cheryl tells us, cares about our hearts and will write our love stories – if we let Him have the pen. Surrender. Let God have His way.

Sometimes God’s way is a hard one for us to walk. Cheryl writes very openly about how she grappled with God’s script-writing for her life. Although singleness is always in view, Finally the Bride is broader than that. It transcends marital status as Cheryl brings us through her journey of waiting, of yielding, of learning to trust God even when His will was painful to her.

Yet and still, the book is written primarily for single women. There’s much advice, and I found it valuable. I would like to highlight two pieces of it – one on the practical side, one on the spiritual.

For the practical, she cautions women about the pitfalls of close friendships with men. (Briefly: here. More thoroughly: read the book!) I chose this because it is important and rarely heard. It’s needed – especially in our society, where the loss of old rules has left the sexes mingling with new ambiguity.

For the spiritual – well, let me quote the book: “God is a romancer. No one can match His love. No one in this world can love me more than Him. None. My search to find a love greater is fruitless. God’s love is unmatched. We search for many things to fill our God-sized holes. Only He can fill. Only He can fulfill. Only He can reach.”

In all this, Cheryl McKay does not write as a theologian or a commentator; she doesn’t write from a distance. She writes as one woman to another – and as a woman who herself is still waiting. Despite what the title may suggest, she was not finally a bride while penning these chapters.

That is the first twelve chapters. Then the book changes a little. The last few chapters read much more like an autobiography – but with a twist. Cheryl McKay wrote as events unfolded in her life – wrote each installment of the story without knowing how it would end. So these chapters have a real-time feel to them that is fresh and enormously compelling.

The book’s last chapter is written by Christopher Price. He gives another side of Cheryl’s story, as well as advice to both single men and women. It is an excellent addition to the book, as is the appendix. The appendix is a collection of stories – written by the women who experienced them – of God’s romance scripts. I wish there had been more.

Finally the Bride is a wonderful book. Cheryl McKay is a fluent writer, able in bringing depth, feeling, and humor. Her focus on God is encouraging and good medicine for the unwillingly single (and, for that matter, everyone else). There’s a rare realness and immediacy to this book. I recommend it to anyone waiting to be the bride – and even to those waiting for something else. Surrendering to God’s good sovereignty is a lesson we all need.

I received a review copy of this book.

Finally The Bride: Finding Hope While Waiting

Cheryl McKay

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: FINALLY THE BRIDE
Author: Cheryl McKay
Publisher: Purple Penworks
March 2012
ISBN: 978-1470005931
Genre: Inspirational/dating and relationships


Message for my man:

If you don’t show up soon, I’m adding you to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List. It won’t be pretty! I will not bail you out of your first night of captivity.

Could this message be from you? Are you tired of waiting for that perfect man to finally show up in your life? Are you tired of discovering that even if God is writing your love life, He writes much slower than you do? Are you well on your way to becoming a forty-year old virgin?

Cheryl McKay was in that place. An accomplished screen writer, she’d been in control of relationships—of characters—for years. But her own relationship never seemed to happen. Missionary dating—blind dates, nothing worked. Cheryl had to learn to leave the writing to God and continue to wait…and wait…and wait.

FINALLY THE BRIDE is the story of that wait. How God ministered to her as she initially got the idea for this book, as well as how she worked through the jealousy of seeing others much younger than her find their one and only. And then, when she’d given it all up to God He finally brought Mr. Right into her life. The story is interlaced with true stories of finding The One from the Bible as well as from modern day people.

Filled with humor, FINALLY THE BRIDE is a book that will engross the reader and draw them into the topic. And not only that but at the end of the book is a section written by Cheryl’s eventual husband filled with tips for men who are looking for that elusive bride, as well as an appendix with even more real life stories of finding/meeting/marrying their eventual mate. If you are single and looking this is a book that will encourage you during that wait. $12.99. 246 pages.

[Caroline Way · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Finally the Bride' is a wonderfully warm, frank, and vulnerable illustration of what it means to let God write your love story and what it is to have a love story with God. McKay offers practical, and often humorous, advice on not getting sidetracked from the ultimate goal of letting God be the only One in your life to chose the one for your life. As Cheryl reveals her very personal triumphs and failures in her struggle to be patient, she emphasizes the importance of not getting stuck in the desperation of just waiting and wanting. She encourages the single person who believes they are to be married, to live life fully in the waiting—to enjoy the time with God and learn what it means to be fully committed to Him, before being committed to a different "him."

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Struggled to read this book, and yet my friends thought it was great! I gave it some time and picked it up again; this time focusing on what I wanted to extract from the book as opposed to merely reading for the sake of it.

Definitely became more interesting and eventually concludes on a very happy note which made it more worthwhile. I guess I was not used to the authors style of writing, in a kind of diary format, which served as a distraction (for me) from the message that the material was supposed to convey.

[K. Kotun · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fab book. Almost mirrored my life; I started it and couldn't put it down. When God tells you to do something, just do it and that's what Cheryl's done(writing this book) - it was passed to me by my sister, who was given it by her friend, and another friend in turn gave it to her. It's a great book to get everything into perspective and trust God. A lot of humorous parts, and parts that make you cry too.

Great book Cheryl!!

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book as it felt like the most honest look at being single that I've seen. The bulk of this book was written while the author was single herself and so it doesn't come across as condescending. She admits that being single is painful and that sometimes we misstep while looking for love. Excellent and encouraging!

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review: http://www.crittyjoy.com/critty_joy/2...

[Alicja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book but a bit too much angst. Could have been more concise. Good advice especially from Chris.

[Kimberly Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book twice in two days. I cried through it the first time. I highlighted almost every sentence the second. It could have been written from my journals. I am grateful this book exists.

[Bobbie Jo Miller]

Amazing

Such a God given book. Such great words that God needed me and I'm sure every still single women needs to read.

[Lady · Rating 4 out of 5]

A surprisingly fun read! Loved the author's candidness and relatability.