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The Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays and Every Day
Quality family togetherness—everyone wants it, but it seems increasingly harder to achieve. In a world run by cell phones, computers, and virtual networking, the comfort of human connection grows more important— and rarer— all the time. In a guide newly updated for the next generation, family expert Meg Cox offers a solution. Family rituals provide a sense of home and identity that kids and parents both need. From holidays and birthdays to bed times, meal times, pets, and even chores, The Book of New Family Traditions spotlights hundred of ways to bring the fun and ritual back to family life.
288 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2003
47 people are currently reading
730 people want to read
About the author
Meg Cox
14 books19 followersBorn in Cleveland. Lifelong book lover, and class librarian in 6th grade.
Writing professionally since 1975 graduation from Northwestern, with a degree in English.
Staff writer for the Wall Street Journal for 17 years in Chicago and New York, covering beats from financial futures and agriculture to the business of the arts and publishing.
Freelancing since 1994: writing 5 books and hundreds of magazine articles, mostly about family traditions and modern quilting.
Lecture all over the country -- love to talk about my passions!!! Love to teach beginners how to quilt.
Love to read, see beautiful things, make things with my own hands, walk and eat good food.
Writing professionally since 1975 graduation from Northwestern, with a degree in English.
Staff writer for the Wall Street Journal for 17 years in Chicago and New York, covering beats from financial futures and agriculture to the business of the arts and publishing.
Freelancing since 1994: writing 5 books and hundreds of magazine articles, mostly about family traditions and modern quilting.
Lecture all over the country -- love to talk about my passions!!! Love to teach beginners how to quilt.
Love to read, see beautiful things, make things with my own hands, walk and eat good food.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
September 16, 2009
This was a small step above the Family MAgazine type articles. This author has tons of examples of real family traditions from around the country. She identifies the three parts of a ritual: preparation (verbal cue, music, tapping fork on a glass), action, and integration/celebration. So in a simple birthday celebration the "begginnning" is turning out the lights. The "action" is when the candles are blown out and we sing. Final stage is celebration which involves eating cake and opening gifts. So using those three elements as a basic recipe, you can make any ritual you want.
But make sure it has a purpose, and make it personal. Some rituals can solve problems, like getting kids to happily buckle seat-belts, or saying good-bye at school or whatever.
Basically, rituals aren't that hard to pull off, and they can actually ease family stress instead of being one more thing to check off on your list. Traditions are a family's way of consciously choosing happy, meaningful memories.
But make sure it has a purpose, and make it personal. Some rituals can solve problems, like getting kids to happily buckle seat-belts, or saying good-bye at school or whatever.
Basically, rituals aren't that hard to pull off, and they can actually ease family stress instead of being one more thing to check off on your list. Traditions are a family's way of consciously choosing happy, meaningful memories.
August 19, 2015
This was okay, but I expected more. A lot of the ideas were basic and repetitive. There was a concentration on religion and gender roles that I didn't care for.
It did make me more convinced to come up with my own traditions and pointed me to two websites I think I'll use.
It did make me more convinced to come up with my own traditions and pointed me to two websites I think I'll use.
June 23, 2023
This is a book of ideas for family traditions, compiled by the author from various families’ real life traditions. It reads more like a blog post or magazine than a book. But that makes it easy for the reader to skim through and skip the traditions that aren’t relevant.
There are lots of silly traditions listed, and not many traditions in this book are religious. Christians (and people of other faiths) would probably find more meaningful rituals and customs in a book written specifically to people of their faith.
She covers everything from end of school rituals to losing to a tooth to first menstrual period to Halloween traditions to high school graduation rituals and ceremonies around getting ears pierced. There weren’t a ton of ideas that I thought were amazing. But there were a few good suggestions that I’d never thought of, and that made it worth skimming through this book. This book could help spur your own creative ideas.
Also, note: this book was published in 2012 and feels very, very dated. The assumptions and comments about technology feel especially out of touch with a modern audience.
There are lots of silly traditions listed, and not many traditions in this book are religious. Christians (and people of other faiths) would probably find more meaningful rituals and customs in a book written specifically to people of their faith.
She covers everything from end of school rituals to losing to a tooth to first menstrual period to Halloween traditions to high school graduation rituals and ceremonies around getting ears pierced. There weren’t a ton of ideas that I thought were amazing. But there were a few good suggestions that I’d never thought of, and that made it worth skimming through this book. This book could help spur your own creative ideas.
Also, note: this book was published in 2012 and feels very, very dated. The assumptions and comments about technology feel especially out of touch with a modern audience.
February 22, 2013
I have to admit this book gave me some pretty good ideas...but I just kept thinking that Pinterest is easier if you're looking for good family traditions that you like and can put in one place. According to research, it is best for families to have atleast one ritual/routine to connect with daily (they suggest a family meal), and it is also good to have an activity once a week together (kind of like FHE)
My favorite family traditions that I read about were these:
*Taping streamers and newspapers on the door for the birthday kid to burst through to their new age on their birthday
*Plant something when someone in your family is born that can grow with them (can also be when you start something new...like a new job, or a new house, etc.)
*Eat together in a family as often as possible
*Have a seat of honor to celebrate a major triumph in the family
*Have your kids pick out a book to donate to the school library when they graduate elementary school
*Dates with dad
There were a lot more, but I think the magic of family traditions are that they are born and tweaked.
My favorite family traditions that I read about were these:
*Taping streamers and newspapers on the door for the birthday kid to burst through to their new age on their birthday
*Plant something when someone in your family is born that can grow with them (can also be when you start something new...like a new job, or a new house, etc.)
*Eat together in a family as often as possible
*Have a seat of honor to celebrate a major triumph in the family
*Have your kids pick out a book to donate to the school library when they graduate elementary school
*Dates with dad
There were a lot more, but I think the magic of family traditions are that they are born and tweaked.
June 12, 2012
A good collection of ideas for adding some fun and interest to family life. Liked the "Full Moon Walk", and the pre-Christmas ideas. Also appreciated the list of resources at the back of the book. An over-all good compendium.
November 14, 2015
A very thorough book on the many ways you can create traditions and rituals specific to your family. These apply to everyday rituals as well as religious and non-religious holidays. Lots of ideas to make family life more interesting and fun, and increase communications between family members.
April 20, 2009
I didn't really find any new, fun traditions in this book that I would actually like to try. They were a bit cheesy and not my style.
September 12, 2018
A lot of the traditions (or "rituals" as Cox prefers to call them) were not new (to me, at least) and weren't all that clever, e.g. reading bedtime stories, saying grace, or playing Sousa marches on Independence Day, to name a few. All great, but nothing we need to be told about.
Others were (again, to me) incredibly unappealing (see the entire section on celebrating your daughter's first period. I would have died if my mother had subjected me to that!). Many ideas seemed forced; entirely too much thought went into them. Others were simply volunteering or activism disguised as family tradition. Some ideas created messes that somebody (most likely Mom) is gonna have to clean up. And many of the ideas had reward as a component, often with a suggestion of gifts. I hated each and every one of these ideas.
But there were four - count 'em - four ideas that were new to me and worthwhile. As the book only took a few hours to read, I thought these four ideas were good enough to warrant a three star rating. I shan't tell you what the ideas were -- I imagine each family will have different responses to the suggestions presented.
I would just say that, in my experience as a mom and now a grandmother, the best new family traditions occur organically. One just needs to pay attention. And, of course, there is nothing more meaningful than the traditions passed down through generations, which give children a sense of history and belonging, whether it be a special recipe made every Easter, a baptismal gown worn by all the babies in the family for generations, or special ornaments for the Christmas tree. But you don't need a book to tell you that.
Others were (again, to me) incredibly unappealing (see the entire section on celebrating your daughter's first period. I would have died if my mother had subjected me to that!). Many ideas seemed forced; entirely too much thought went into them. Others were simply volunteering or activism disguised as family tradition. Some ideas created messes that somebody (most likely Mom) is gonna have to clean up. And many of the ideas had reward as a component, often with a suggestion of gifts. I hated each and every one of these ideas.
But there were four - count 'em - four ideas that were new to me and worthwhile. As the book only took a few hours to read, I thought these four ideas were good enough to warrant a three star rating. I shan't tell you what the ideas were -- I imagine each family will have different responses to the suggestions presented.
I would just say that, in my experience as a mom and now a grandmother, the best new family traditions occur organically. One just needs to pay attention. And, of course, there is nothing more meaningful than the traditions passed down through generations, which give children a sense of history and belonging, whether it be a special recipe made every Easter, a baptismal gown worn by all the babies in the family for generations, or special ornaments for the Christmas tree. But you don't need a book to tell you that.
December 14, 2017
Cox (The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us) packs her book with simple, encouraging ideas for getting back to the basics of family life. Establishing rituals is not always quick and easy; some of these ideas are time-consuming, but they are uniformly peppy and easy for committed readers to absorb. Though free rein is afforded creative readers, basic recipes for creating rituals abound. The first of four topical sections, “Holidays,” is arranged by date and suggests ideas for adding zing to the holidays (like celebrating Big Bird’s birthday on the first day of spring). Sections then focus on “Family Festivities and Ceremonies” (e.g., birthdays or special school days, travel, and vacation), “Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Rituals” (e.g., mealtime grace, full-moon walks, and kids cook night), and “Rites of Passage” (like graduations). Like Julie Tallard Johnson’s The Thundering Years: Rituals and Sacred Wisdom for Teens, this is a great choice and highly recommended.
August 27, 2017
I enjoyed this book because of the many creative ideas for celebrating holidays and creating family rituals. Because I've read a few books similar to this in the past, I didn't find too much new information, but it's good to be reminded to some of these ideas too!
This book will make you want to be intentional about creating new traditions for your family. In fact, I started a list of ideas for different holidays and celebration times so I wouldn't forget into incorporate them into our year. (On a side note, I think I'm going to have to schedule these new ideas into the calendar so that I won't forget!)
I give this 4 stars based on 2 facts: that the information found within the book was not totally new to me and it was written in a conversational style (not every word was essential and some was a bit of a waste of time [no offense meant]). Because of the elementary style of writing, it doesn't take long at all to read this.
It's a good read and I think every mother should peruse through it.
This book will make you want to be intentional about creating new traditions for your family. In fact, I started a list of ideas for different holidays and celebration times so I wouldn't forget into incorporate them into our year. (On a side note, I think I'm going to have to schedule these new ideas into the calendar so that I won't forget!)
I give this 4 stars based on 2 facts: that the information found within the book was not totally new to me and it was written in a conversational style (not every word was essential and some was a bit of a waste of time [no offense meant]). Because of the elementary style of writing, it doesn't take long at all to read this.
It's a good read and I think every mother should peruse through it.
September 7, 2021
“Family rituals are practically any activity you purposely repeat together as a family that includes a hightented attentiveness, and something extra that lifts it above the ordinary ruts.”
This was a great resource and I took notes of different ideas I liked. Some sections I glanced through when they were not relevant to my family (ex. adoption and step-family). I love the idea of everyday rituals as those are the events that happen on a daily basis and are the ones that makes each family unique. When asked what kids remember most about their childhood, it wasnt big gifts or fancy celebrations, but simple rituals and everyday traditions. These are modest but personal gestures of love that allow children to feel safe and treasured.
This was a great resource and I took notes of different ideas I liked. Some sections I glanced through when they were not relevant to my family (ex. adoption and step-family). I love the idea of everyday rituals as those are the events that happen on a daily basis and are the ones that makes each family unique. When asked what kids remember most about their childhood, it wasnt big gifts or fancy celebrations, but simple rituals and everyday traditions. These are modest but personal gestures of love that allow children to feel safe and treasured.
September 24, 2023
Had some nice ideas for traditions and rituals and was well-organized. I appreciated also the introduction outlining the value of rituals.
My major complaint is that several times Meg Cox recommends appropriating a Native American tradition (like a talking stick, or smudging, or vision quest). She presents these traditions with little context and as a pan-indigenous identity rather than a specific tribe or people among the many indigenous peoples of North America. It made me very uncomfortable.
My major complaint is that several times Meg Cox recommends appropriating a Native American tradition (like a talking stick, or smudging, or vision quest). She presents these traditions with little context and as a pan-indigenous identity rather than a specific tribe or people among the many indigenous peoples of North America. It made me very uncomfortable.
January 16, 2017
Nice, easy to read book of ideas. I liked the recommendations of some websites I didn't know or hadn't thought about, such as pbs.org for family ideas for birthday parties (and other things) and the motherdaughter bookclub.com. I want to look up Chase's calendar of events after seeing it listed here.
February 12, 2018
Great book to spark some new ideas for family traditions and rituals. There was definitely a lot things to pull from, many of which can be used interchangeably for any time of the year. I really enjoyed how the author highlighted different families and what they did. It is nice to relate. Also of note, there were a lot of spelling errors and grammar errors throughout the book.
April 9, 2025
I read this when my daughter was first born, and I'd recommend it to all new parents. It's a book that should be revisited frequently as your children grow. It has fantastic suggestions for family traditions and rituals, ranging from the everyday (bedtime) to special occasions (holidays and milestones).
March 27, 2018
I loved all the family traditions for holy days and ordinary days. My only complaint was that were some odd typos that should have been caught in editing. Hopefully the print version is better than the ebook. I would love to own this as a reference guide.
June 29, 2021
Love the concept of this book and I got some great ideas, but overall it was quite cheesy. Perhaps I just wasn't the intended audience, which is very likely the case. I'm sure many people would really love these ideas, there were some sweet ones.
February 4, 2023
Parts of this book really have not aged well (pilgrim and Indian hats for Thanksgiving…) and are overly gendered. It’s also repetitive in parts. But I also found a lot of great ideas in here, some of which I’ve already adopted. So it was worth a skim for inspiration from what remains relevant.
March 22, 2017
I found a few fun ideas to try. I would have preferred this book in a shorter list format.
January 31, 2020
Great resource!
May 8, 2023
Definitely for older kids. Not much directed toward toddlers or younger. I do like the mealtime ideas. They were my main takeaways
August 8, 2023
Dated but some good ideas. White, Christian-centric with a nod to Jews and no mention of Muslims or other ethnicities.
September 23, 2023
Lots of good ideas, but better as a reference guide than as a book to read all at once. I felt kinda guilty about all
I couldn’t do when reading straight through.
I couldn’t do when reading straight through.
August 22, 2025
Cute book, feels more like a blog post that got turned into a book. I read a digital version of this but I think a physical copy would have been better
January 8, 2017
Well done with a variety of ideas.
November 16, 2020
Loads of great ideas to inspire and build upon. I am glad I own a copy to pull off the shelf for reference.
April 19, 2017
Loved it. I ended up buying a copy (and since I read an ecopy** from the library, all my highlights were saved! Go tech!).
The beginning talks about the role of tradition and ritual in a family. Cox explains the value of these rituals; they help very small children feel safe and secure by knowing what to expect, they help older children develop their sense of identity within their community, navigate potentially scary life changes, and even teach correct behavior. Cox says many parents naturally create their own rituals without calling it such. I was surprised myself as I read this with how many of our own we practice in our family that none of us were aware of.
After the brief intro explaining the whys of rituals, Cox dives into samples gathered from a wide variety of families and values. These include things as simple as an everyday goodbye ritual, or as complex as a Hanukkah celebration. Even though many of the religious traditions weren't relevant to my family, I appreciated that Cox included a diverse and varied perspective. I was also pleasantly surprised by the inclusion of some adoption rituals.
I can't end this review without sharing my own favorite ritual that my family has developed: my husband and I make sure to get up at least 20 minutes before our son to have a first cup of coffee together. It's the only guaranteed time we have to connect with each other, and we both look forward to it enough that we do it on weekends too.
**there are a lot of typos in the ecopy, I assume because the print version was converted without a proofer of any kind (You'll see what I mean). If you can get past that, I'd recommend the e-version for the ease of searching and highlighting. You'll definitely want to mark this up!
The beginning talks about the role of tradition and ritual in a family. Cox explains the value of these rituals; they help very small children feel safe and secure by knowing what to expect, they help older children develop their sense of identity within their community, navigate potentially scary life changes, and even teach correct behavior. Cox says many parents naturally create their own rituals without calling it such. I was surprised myself as I read this with how many of our own we practice in our family that none of us were aware of.
After the brief intro explaining the whys of rituals, Cox dives into samples gathered from a wide variety of families and values. These include things as simple as an everyday goodbye ritual, or as complex as a Hanukkah celebration. Even though many of the religious traditions weren't relevant to my family, I appreciated that Cox included a diverse and varied perspective. I was also pleasantly surprised by the inclusion of some adoption rituals.
I can't end this review without sharing my own favorite ritual that my family has developed: my husband and I make sure to get up at least 20 minutes before our son to have a first cup of coffee together. It's the only guaranteed time we have to connect with each other, and we both look forward to it enough that we do it on weekends too.
**there are a lot of typos in the ecopy, I assume because the print version was converted without a proofer of any kind (You'll see what I mean). If you can get past that, I'd recommend the e-version for the ease of searching and highlighting. You'll definitely want to mark this up!
July 8, 2012
I found this book to be useful in the world we live in today. How many of us have blended families? Live spread out from one another? Newly married? Had your first baby? Meg Cox gives tips on Traditions that you can start for Holidays, Birthdays and crafts families can do together.
Smartphone, Blog,twitter, Facebook, skype ~its covered as ways to stay in touch no matter where you are.
You may have family traditions all in place. Read this to expand on special times to remember for your family. I barely scratched the contents of this resource of ideas. Begin to enrich your life and your loved ones.
Cyndee Thomas
Disclaimer: The opinions are mine and mine alone. I won this "First Reads" book from Goodreads.The Book of New Family Traditions (Revised and Updated): How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays and Every Day
October 6, 2014
This book was enjoyable, HOWEVER, be ready to use it as a reference. Skip immediately to a more relevant section if you are getting bored. I tried to push through "just in case" there was a gem hidden in the extensive lists of suggestions.
Apparently the first edition of this book was hugely popular, and it started out talking about Christmas and other larger holidays. I think I might have liked the 1st edition better. By the time I got desperate enough to skip to the Christmas section, I was getting impatient with all the rituals. I think this would have been a better read if I had taken it easy and just read one section at a time. The ideas are worth looking into, for sure. The blog might be better, though I have not read it yet.
I put this in the "chose not to finish" section because I skipped huge parts of it and I didn't even read all of the parts that were relevant to me, like the Christmas part. I may pick up this book at a later time and go straight to the Christmas and birthdays sections.
Apparently the first edition of this book was hugely popular, and it started out talking about Christmas and other larger holidays. I think I might have liked the 1st edition better. By the time I got desperate enough to skip to the Christmas section, I was getting impatient with all the rituals. I think this would have been a better read if I had taken it easy and just read one section at a time. The ideas are worth looking into, for sure. The blog might be better, though I have not read it yet.
I put this in the "chose not to finish" section because I skipped huge parts of it and I didn't even read all of the parts that were relevant to me, like the Christmas part. I may pick up this book at a later time and go straight to the Christmas and birthdays sections.
July 3, 2012
I won a copy of this book from a GoodReads giveaway.
I liked it, can't say I loved it but it did have a lot of great ideas in it that I plan on using when I have a family of my own one day. For now though, I have a large extended family (cousins) and also work with little kids so its going to be a great help. I was surprised to see how many I already knew as was well as things and ways to do something I would have never thought of. I loved the idea of turning something so simple into a game so that children would want to do it and cooperate. The only bad thing I could say about it, is that I didn't like the term "ritual." I would have been fine with it if it didn't have the bit about the four elements in the beginning but because it did it to me gave the term a different feel that I was not comfortable with. In all honestly that term made so that it was difficult for me to enjoy the book even though I knew what the author was trying to convey.
I liked it, can't say I loved it but it did have a lot of great ideas in it that I plan on using when I have a family of my own one day. For now though, I have a large extended family (cousins) and also work with little kids so its going to be a great help. I was surprised to see how many I already knew as was well as things and ways to do something I would have never thought of. I loved the idea of turning something so simple into a game so that children would want to do it and cooperate. The only bad thing I could say about it, is that I didn't like the term "ritual." I would have been fine with it if it didn't have the bit about the four elements in the beginning but because it did it to me gave the term a different feel that I was not comfortable with. In all honestly that term made so that it was difficult for me to enjoy the book even though I knew what the author was trying to convey.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews