I've Had It Up to Here With Teenagers

by Melinda Rainey Thompson

“For years and years of relatively smooth-sailing childhood, my kids followed my directives,” writes Melinda Rainey Thompson. “If I said, ‘Let’s go swimming!’ they fled down the hall to pull on their swimsuits, shedding their clothes along the way. If I said, ‘So sorry, the mall is closed today,’ they didn’t doubt my pronouncement for a moment—even if the parking lot was crammed.”
And now that her kids are mostly grown?
“I was good with babies. Teenagers—not so much,” Thompson admits. “I don’t get many hugs anymore. Any I do get are inevitably instigated by me while they stand there like martyrs tied to a stake. Recently, when I was the rare recipient of a spontaneous hug from my seventeen-year-old, I got so excited I dropped the basket of chocolate-chip muffins in my hands. I was anxious to hug back while it was still on offer. It was totally worth the muffin loss.”
Thompson’s three teenagers bury her under an Everest of laundry. They send her for groceries so often that she once heard a store employee cry, “Incoming!” They leave such a quantity of half-eaten sandwiches around their rooms as to provide a buffet for roaches. They complain for hours about 10-minute chores. They spend their parents’ money like it magically regenerates and hoard their own like it’s the last dose of the elixir of life.
To put it another way, they’re typical teens.
In her inimitable style, Thompson makes I’ve Had It Up to Here with Teenagers both a humorous rant against teens and a celebration of seeing them rise from the ashes of battle to become well-adjusted, responsible humans. “Parental love is fierce and illogical,” she writes. “I think it is the strongest force on earth. It trumps everything, thank God: sleepless nights, hard stadium seats, endless recitals, broken hearts, losing seasons, throw-up viruses, bad grades, poor choices, and everything else life throws at teenagers and their parents.”

Genres: Nonfiction, Comedy

166 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Melinda Rainey Thompson is the bestselling author of 5 books: SWAG: Southern Women Aging Gracefully (2006), The SWAG Life (2007), I’ve Had It Up To Here With Teenagers (2010), I Love You—Now Hush (2012), which was a ForeWord Reviews book of the year and a finalist for the Benjamin Franklin Award for humor, and If I Were the Boss of You (2020). Her work has been reviewed by the New York Journal of Books and many others. This Southern writer, humorist, and mother of three has been a staple on the ladies-who-lunch speaking circuit for the past decade. She earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Tulane University and an Master of Arts degree in English from The University of Alabama at Birmingham. When she’s not teaching other people’s children how to write as a Lecturer in English at Birmingham-Southern College, Melinda freelances for magazines and speaks to all manner of gala, conference, fundraiser, luncheon, and dinner attendees all around the country. This allows her children, known to her followers as “The Ungrateful Wretches," to indulge in the lavish lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. The author is married to Judge Bill Thompson, the presiding judge for the Alabama Court of Civil Appeals. Melinda became an author by accident. When her children were young, she no longer had time for scholarly work, so she found a niche writing humorous essays. She sees herself as a spokesperson for her people: women, mothers, Southerners, and writers of every genre from grocery lists to Great American Novels.

Reviews

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

So this summer I'm going to be in charge/ hang out with a group of 15 year olds. Reading this book while reading my old journals is proving to be eye opening. It's like seeing the same situation from two very different perspectives.

Here are my thoughts (which aren't really related to the book, sorry):

- As a camp counselor, I'm not going to be a parent. I'm 5 years older than them, that means I get to be the cool (haha, me? Cool?) older sibling. And hopefully, that means I'll have to deal with less snark although I like to think I'll have fun arguing with sassy teens because I am still a sassy teen.

- This is written so well. I had such a nice time reading this book. Made me smile quite a bit.

- My journals repeatedly say that I felt alone, felt abandoned, felt like I couldn't trust anyone and that my battles were endless. Now, in her book, she writes about how teens feel like they're the only ones suffering. And I get that but I don't think parents realize that it really does hurt. Like, up until reading my journals, I forgot how sad I was and how everything seemed hopeless.

- In the summer before I started my army service, when I was 17, I used to stay out until 6am everyday with my friends. I remember that I desperately needed that sense of freedom. My parents were very upset, claiming that I was forcing them to stay up, despite the fact that I had a key and public transportation. Every day we would have the same argument and I would storm out of the house. Eventually, my parents went on a rant of "fine, ruin your life, we care less about your safety now" and this actually did solve the problem. I do believe that you've got to give teens freedom eventually.

- Man, Hebrew doesn't even have a word for ma'am. I didn't know anyone who had a curfew, I didn't have one either. Americans are weird.

- I realize the self absorbed nature of teenagers in myself and in this book. I'm ashamed by how long it took me to realize that housework sucks and my parents do it for all of the house.

- My parents gave me many lectures about online friends. It didn't stop me and eventually they grew to be okay with it. It got to the point that when I was solo traveling now, they were happy whenever I stayed at the homes of my online friends. So yeah, none of them turned out to be terrorists (although I did have a conversation with someone that was very pro ISIS).

-Ultimately, I'm super excited for summer

[Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book through GoodReads First Reads and to be honest, being a teenager, I only entered the giveaway for the heck of it, thinking that if I won it, I'll get to read about the issues with us teens and how it drives parents nuts.

When I started The book, the first thing that caught my eye was the 'oath all teens take' list. When I first read that list, I began cracking up because of how true many of the listed statements were. In fact, I actually took the book to school and showed that list to everyone who cared to look. Everyone who read it finished reading with a smile, a snicker, and a comment about how true the list was.

The lists didn't end there. Every chapter ended with a list, from things teens say to things you can't teach a teen. I related to most of the lists in some way or another, always noting the accuracy.

As for the overall book, I ended up really enjoying it, even though it was a rant about teens. The author writes with a lot of humor and a sense of honesty. She admits that she apologizes to her teens, and that sometimes, her punishments can be over the top. That appealed to me because while everyone makes mistakes, it takes a lot of gut to fully admit that you made a mistake, especially when it comes to things like raising kids. I think it's safe to assume that most parents want to raise their kids the best way possible and sometimes, things are gonna happen, parents make mistakes, and sometimes apologizing is necessary. And let me tell you, there is nothing a teen respects more than a sincere apology from a parent.

One of my favorite parts of this book was the very last chapter, a counter argument written by one of the author's own teens. I think that it really balanced out the one sided point of view we were getting from the previous chapters.

I recommend this book for parents and teens alike. Parents, this book lets you know that you aren't the only one dealing with teenage quirks, and annoyances. Teens, this book will make you laugh and smile because of how true much of the teen descriptions are, and how much you can relate to the many lists included in the book.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. Melinda's quick wit, straight forward talk and entertaining stories had me feeling like a normal mom by the time I was done with the book. Melinda tells it like it is: mean mamas of the world unite. In this book we learn the trials and tribulations of raising teenagers, it is a hard job but somebody has to do it. I learned about the rooms, clothing choices, curfews, dinners, driving and attitudes of teenagers. I feel justified in my mothering skills; its nice to know that mothers of teenagers can feel a kinship. I would highly recommend this book to all of my friends with teenagers.

[Alora · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writing style is not for me