What do you think?
Rate this book
Don't shoot ! Im just the avon lady!
For Birdie Jaworski, life as an Avon Lady was a bittersweet mix of embarking on gossip-worthy adventures, searching for Mr. Right, and making emergency lotion requests in the middle of the night... while managing as a single parent.
Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret!
The book reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life when Catholic Charities calls her and tells her the daughter she gave up for adoption is now an adult and wants to meet her. This book follows Birdie's journey during one summer while she decides whether to meet her daughter while selling Avon cosmetics door-to-door. A funny and beautifully touching read.
Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Her blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.
Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret!
The book reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life when Catholic Charities calls her and tells her the daughter she gave up for adoption is now an adult and wants to meet her. This book follows Birdie's journey during one summer while she decides whether to meet her daughter while selling Avon cosmetics door-to-door. A funny and beautifully touching read.
Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Her blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.
250 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2007
16 people are currently reading
228 people want to read
About the author
Birdie Jaworski
15 books8 followersBirdie is the author of the Avon Lady Memoir, "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize.
Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.
Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
July 13, 2012
As a direct seller for another company, my curiousity was piqued just from reading the title. I think most of us direct sellers have crazy stories - but not, perhaps, as many as Birdie. Interwoven with all the laughs and silliness, though, is a serious story that was important to be told. All in all, a good, light read, that some will relate to more than others.
April 22, 2012
An easy to read book with a good story. It had some quite humorous parts which made me smile. This was free when i downloaded it for Kindle.
January 7, 2012
I don’t normally read author’s memoirs, but I became curious about Birdie. Birdie’s book “Don’t Shoot! I’m Just the Avon Lady!” is a great read and put together so well that it was like reading a story rather than her memoirs. And novel it is. She takes you from present to later in time memories and then brings you back to the present. Granted, some of her memoirs were sad, but most of them cause me to chuckle out loud which is a rarity for me. Birdie’s spunk and determination has led her into situations that many of us will never experience. For instance, how many of us have opened their door, only to find a pig at the doorstep with a note telling her that the pig’s name was Frankie. Frankie became in indoor pet pig and I just assume he was potty trained.
One of my favorites was when she went on an Avon call with a request for lotion. To Birdie’s surprise, it was to be used on a pet monkey. “… she led him across the kitchen. … jumped into my lap. He put long arms around my neck.. and monkey drool started to roll down…”
Another was Birdie taking Avon shampoo to a new client, only to find herself shampooing a bald lady’s cat.
Oh, and the Avon foam she sprayed on a rat that was about to attack her.
One of my favorites was when she went on an Avon call with a request for lotion. To Birdie’s surprise, it was to be used on a pet monkey. “… she led him across the kitchen. … jumped into my lap. He put long arms around my neck.. and monkey drool started to roll down…”
Another was Birdie taking Avon shampoo to a new client, only to find herself shampooing a bald lady’s cat.
Oh, and the Avon foam she sprayed on a rat that was about to attack her.
May 3, 2012
Worst book I've ever read, was like an extremely long advertisement that never seemed to end. I hope "Birdie" got commision for this from Avon as every third was "Avon Skin-so-Soft" or "Avon Glimmerstick". The book didn't flow at all, flipping from present to past in the blink of an eye and the author tried to make the bland story of her life more interest with rambling descriptions of her surroundings that never seemed to end or get to the point. I only finished this as I never leave a book unfinished, but would recommend you don't bother starting it. So glad I got this as a free download on Kindle, otherwise I would have wanted my money back!
March 17, 2022
I thought this book was funny and very relatable as I am an Avon lady too!
March 29, 2013
MY REVIEW
I bought this book from Amazon.co.uk, as I fancied a humorous read. the cover depicts the Avon lady from the book and her two children delivering Avon catalogue's and samples, and basically it sets the tone for the book. I like the font and styling and placement of the book title and author name they all add to the comedic feel of the book.
The blurb gives you an outline of what to expect from the book, and it is spot on.
This book is really laugh out loud funny in some places, others are like "Oh my gosh" situations and then theres the "I don't believe it, I mean . . .did that reeeally happen"
I do enjoy a light funny read every now and again. This book fits that bill perfectly,it's one of quite a few quirky titles I have bought to read in between my more serious books.
I really liked one situation in the book where, Birdie gets her male friend who lives at home with his mum to come around to her place so she can try out the latest Avon waxing kit. Birdie decides to try the kit out by shaving her rather hairy friend's chest. The problem is the hair on his chest is sooo long she has to. . . er cut it down so it's short enough to wax. The scene in the book is just described so well and detailed that you can actually visualise it in your mind!
That is just one of many, many stories that Birdie tells us about.
The price of the E-Book was great at 77p or around that price too. I wouldn't have paid over £2 for it as it was just for a fun light read. I think the paperback is er..quite expensive though. I don't think I would have paid that much for the it. I did enjoy the book but perhaps not as much as say, the checkout girl book I read, or even the postman one.
So did I enjoy the book? Yes, for a light comedy read it was good. Though I did prefer to read it in short bursts rather than reading it like a normal book. It's definitely the type you can pick up and read, then put down, read something else, then go back to. Would I recommend the book? As a comedy dip in and out of book yes. Would I read more by Bridie Jaworski? I would certainly take a look at any other titles by her.
I bought this book from Amazon.co.uk, as I fancied a humorous read. the cover depicts the Avon lady from the book and her two children delivering Avon catalogue's and samples, and basically it sets the tone for the book. I like the font and styling and placement of the book title and author name they all add to the comedic feel of the book.
The blurb gives you an outline of what to expect from the book, and it is spot on.
This book is really laugh out loud funny in some places, others are like "Oh my gosh" situations and then theres the "I don't believe it, I mean . . .did that reeeally happen"
I do enjoy a light funny read every now and again. This book fits that bill perfectly,it's one of quite a few quirky titles I have bought to read in between my more serious books.
I really liked one situation in the book where, Birdie gets her male friend who lives at home with his mum to come around to her place so she can try out the latest Avon waxing kit. Birdie decides to try the kit out by shaving her rather hairy friend's chest. The problem is the hair on his chest is sooo long she has to. . . er cut it down so it's short enough to wax. The scene in the book is just described so well and detailed that you can actually visualise it in your mind!
That is just one of many, many stories that Birdie tells us about.
The price of the E-Book was great at 77p or around that price too. I wouldn't have paid over £2 for it as it was just for a fun light read. I think the paperback is er..quite expensive though. I don't think I would have paid that much for the it. I did enjoy the book but perhaps not as much as say, the checkout girl book I read, or even the postman one.
So did I enjoy the book? Yes, for a light comedy read it was good. Though I did prefer to read it in short bursts rather than reading it like a normal book. It's definitely the type you can pick up and read, then put down, read something else, then go back to. Would I recommend the book? As a comedy dip in and out of book yes. Would I read more by Bridie Jaworski? I would certainly take a look at any other titles by her.
June 13, 2017
$0.0
I had to get this book since I sold Avon for a year and a half many, many years ago and it sounded like a fun and easy read.
Birdie is a divorced mother in her late 30s (or maybe early 40s) of two small boys and she sells Avon. She doesn't let you forget this (down to the men specific items that she sells, etc.), but having sold it before (I've long time ago), I don't know how she is supporting herself especially since she lives in Southern California close enough to the beach to take her kids. I am guessing that this is supposed to be a comedy, but it feels more like one giant advertisement for Avon. I also can't imagine her leaving brochures EVERYWHERE and ANYWHERE never knowing who would call, let alone who she would meet. It sounds risky to me although she meets a number of different characters. She goes back and forth and all around making it difficult to follow where she is at any given moment, let alone whether she is in the present or past tense. A mother and father are mentioned but not present, just as the children's father and perhaps someone else she had an affair with. She doesn't say.
She tells a little about her past, including a rape that left her pregnant, and she gave this daughter up for adoption. She has gotten a call from our birth daughter who wants to meet her, but she doesn't know what to do.
The book tells the story after story of all the interesting and unusual people Birdie meets, and after a while it just drags on. I want to give it 2 1/2 stars, but because of all the specific name brands (some of which I still remember), she only gets a 2.
I had to get this book since I sold Avon for a year and a half many, many years ago and it sounded like a fun and easy read.
Birdie is a divorced mother in her late 30s (or maybe early 40s) of two small boys and she sells Avon. She doesn't let you forget this (down to the men specific items that she sells, etc.), but having sold it before (I've long time ago), I don't know how she is supporting herself especially since she lives in Southern California close enough to the beach to take her kids. I am guessing that this is supposed to be a comedy, but it feels more like one giant advertisement for Avon. I also can't imagine her leaving brochures EVERYWHERE and ANYWHERE never knowing who would call, let alone who she would meet. It sounds risky to me although she meets a number of different characters. She goes back and forth and all around making it difficult to follow where she is at any given moment, let alone whether she is in the present or past tense. A mother and father are mentioned but not present, just as the children's father and perhaps someone else she had an affair with. She doesn't say.
She tells a little about her past, including a rape that left her pregnant, and she gave this daughter up for adoption. She has gotten a call from our birth daughter who wants to meet her, but she doesn't know what to do.
The book tells the story after story of all the interesting and unusual people Birdie meets, and after a while it just drags on. I want to give it 2 1/2 stars, but because of all the specific name brands (some of which I still remember), she only gets a 2.
February 11, 2012
I usually stay away from books published by bloggers, or at least their memoirs. It's been my experience that these types of novels are retreads of stories already long-published online. However, since I hadn't heard of Birdie Jaworski or her blog, and the book was being offered for free on the Kindle, I decided to give this one a go.
I'm not sure what the author's goal with this book was, unless it was simply to tell a few humorous stories about life as an Avon Lady. In that, it mostly succeeded, although much of the humor was lost on me. I was constantly wondering how any sane person would do things like to go to strip clubs, skulk around backyards, and leap over fences in lieu of using a gate, in the name of selling Avon. I can see how it might have been funny to some people. It's just that this type of look-how-free-spirited-I-am nonsense tends to grate on my old, cynical nerves.
If the author's goal was to show connections with the people in her life, then the book failed fairly miserably. Every character, even her own children, were merely side-characters, coming and going as needed to tell a story and never given any depth outside the author's own thoughts about them. In other words, they were merely actors in her play. It's a shame because some of these people could have been fascinating if treated properly.
The book was not a bad read, and even had some humorous moments. Unfortunately it left me with the feeling that the most interesting stories were the ones not being told.
2.5 stars
I'm not sure what the author's goal with this book was, unless it was simply to tell a few humorous stories about life as an Avon Lady. In that, it mostly succeeded, although much of the humor was lost on me. I was constantly wondering how any sane person would do things like to go to strip clubs, skulk around backyards, and leap over fences in lieu of using a gate, in the name of selling Avon. I can see how it might have been funny to some people. It's just that this type of look-how-free-spirited-I-am nonsense tends to grate on my old, cynical nerves.
If the author's goal was to show connections with the people in her life, then the book failed fairly miserably. Every character, even her own children, were merely side-characters, coming and going as needed to tell a story and never given any depth outside the author's own thoughts about them. In other words, they were merely actors in her play. It's a shame because some of these people could have been fascinating if treated properly.
The book was not a bad read, and even had some humorous moments. Unfortunately it left me with the feeling that the most interesting stories were the ones not being told.
2.5 stars
August 15, 2012
I downloaded this book because it was free on the kindle store for a day. My mother in law did Avon for a bit and i thought it would be a good idea to read this book and have a bit of a comparison.
This book is about Birdie Jaworski and her life. She has two young sons, a single parent and is trying to sell Avon. There is also a side plot to the book, she gave up a daughter for adoption many years ago.
I did try to get into the book and really did try to like it, but i just couldnt. I didnt really like all the name dropping of the Avon products. One or two would have been ok, but it seemed to be every other page at times and i just didnt like it much. It felt like i was reading an avon book at times.
I did like parts with her sons, i did find out lots about the author through this. I particually liked the part when they adopted a pig and the havoc that this caused.
I would have liked more focus on her daughter that she gave up for adoption. At times it felt like the avon side come before this. While i found out a fair bit of information about the situation she was put in, i would have liked more of a focus on this part.It is a memoir, and it comes across in that way. It was a little disjointed at times and i would have liked it to flow a bit better. I suppose if you are an avon lady you might enjoy this, but unfortunatly i just didnt. I ended up skimming parts too.
This book is about Birdie Jaworski and her life. She has two young sons, a single parent and is trying to sell Avon. There is also a side plot to the book, she gave up a daughter for adoption many years ago.
I did try to get into the book and really did try to like it, but i just couldnt. I didnt really like all the name dropping of the Avon products. One or two would have been ok, but it seemed to be every other page at times and i just didnt like it much. It felt like i was reading an avon book at times.
I did like parts with her sons, i did find out lots about the author through this. I particually liked the part when they adopted a pig and the havoc that this caused.
I would have liked more focus on her daughter that she gave up for adoption. At times it felt like the avon side come before this. While i found out a fair bit of information about the situation she was put in, i would have liked more of a focus on this part.It is a memoir, and it comes across in that way. It was a little disjointed at times and i would have liked it to flow a bit better. I suppose if you are an avon lady you might enjoy this, but unfortunatly i just didnt. I ended up skimming parts too.
February 12, 2012
Just finished this book. I have to say, it was...ok. I mostly enjoyed it and found it to be an easy, light read. I liked the premise, the intrepid Avon lady making her rounds, meeting all manner of eccentric people while raising her two boys, only to find a secret from her past looking for her. Many parts of the book were both interesting and entertaining.
However, it was not with out small problems. The story dragged in places where things got 'heavy'...with philosophy and psycho~babble and meditation where there was never meditation before.
I do think that this book could really benefit from some good editing. I noted while reading that there were a few instances of words repeating or missing. Really, it just needs some editorial clean up and maybe some parsing, as well as some of the more muddled areas cleared up a bit.
Overall? It's a good beach read.
However, it was not with out small problems. The story dragged in places where things got 'heavy'...with philosophy and psycho~babble and meditation where there was never meditation before.
I do think that this book could really benefit from some good editing. I noted while reading that there were a few instances of words repeating or missing. Really, it just needs some editorial clean up and maybe some parsing, as well as some of the more muddled areas cleared up a bit.
Overall? It's a good beach read.
February 23, 2012
Birdie really does take the reader along with her on her Avon adventures. Being a mother I could instantly relate to towing two small children around like she did. Her descriptions in this novel were amazing and I had no problem picturing everything. I laughed at so many things. This book is definitely laced with a great comedian and I really enjoyed reading it. Besides the humor, Birdie is very real in this book and her customers will make you laugh. This is definitely a book I've recommended to friends. There is so much realism in this story. Birdie is a single mom just doing the best she can to make ends meet, hold onto her dreams, while at the same time, grieve over her past. A unique idea and a good read.
February 14, 2012
Follow Birdie as she and her trusty backpack take on her neighbors, police, and her kids while building an Avon Business.
The book is by turns laugh out loud hysterical and heart wrenching. She faces one thing that so many of us do - the death of one of our customers, as well as the unexpected (customers doing yard work in the buff). We get a snapshot into the world of others and at times you may think "no, it could not possibly work that way...." Yes, yes it can.
I had a very difficult time putting this book down. I just wanted to read it to see what craziness would happen next.
The book is by turns laugh out loud hysterical and heart wrenching. She faces one thing that so many of us do - the death of one of our customers, as well as the unexpected (customers doing yard work in the buff). We get a snapshot into the world of others and at times you may think "no, it could not possibly work that way...." Yes, yes it can.
I had a very difficult time putting this book down. I just wanted to read it to see what craziness would happen next.
March 30, 2012
I picked this book b/c I like Avon and buy it fairly frequently. But my reps are nothing like Birdie - where are my free samples?? I've never gotten any! Now back to the book - it's a collection of short stories and blog posts. Birdie and her boys are very likeable. But there is thread of sadness running through the book as Birdie struggles to cope to pay the bills, sort of losing her BFF, and dealing with very personal issues that I won't spoil for the reader. A good read for Avon fans and sellers!
February 6, 2013
Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!Birdie Jaworski
This was an ok read...It was quick, but the writing wasn't great. The story was continuous, it jumped around a lot! It was random bits and pieces barely tied together. However, there are many funny parts and I enjoyed the character Birdie a lot.
This was an ok read...It was quick, but the writing wasn't great. The story was continuous, it jumped around a lot! It was random bits and pieces barely tied together. However, there are many funny parts and I enjoyed the character Birdie a lot.
February 11, 2012
I was pretty disappointed in this book. I heard good things about it, and being a memoir, I thought it had potential, but it just fell short. There ...moreI was pretty disappointed in this book. I heard good things about it, and being a memoir, I thought it had potential, but it just fell short. There were a couple funny parts, but was really lacking storyline, and didn't flow very smoothly at all.
March 27, 2012
As someone who has sold Avon, it was interesting to read a story about someone else's Avon business. Interwoven in the Avon selling tactics was a story about a woman struggling with life ups and downs. I recommend this book to all Avon business owners who make their living on selling Avon on a daily basis.
January 13, 2013
I got this as a free download. It was actually endearing at points, but overall it was difficult to follow. SHe referenced times in her life in a sloppy kind of way that didn't show a real timeline to her tales. Her sweet and exuberant personality definitely came through, though. Birdie seems like someone I'd like to meet!
May 11, 2014
Good book, terrible ending
Good book, terrible ending
This is a great book. It is a funny, sweet story, with a touch or two of sadness. You really fall for the heroine, Birdie. You want a conclusive happy ending for her, but the book does not deliver. It sort of loosely connects the events of the book, then just...ends. The ending just is not satisfactory.
Good book, terrible ending
This is a great book. It is a funny, sweet story, with a touch or two of sadness. You really fall for the heroine, Birdie. You want a conclusive happy ending for her, but the book does not deliver. It sort of loosely connects the events of the book, then just...ends. The ending just is not satisfactory.
March 13, 2012
I really enjoyed the story but the editing was horrible. May have been better in a printed version but the e-book was filled with spelling and grammatical errors and in several places jumped mid-sentence leaving me to guess the authors intent.
September 2, 2016
This was a more interesting read than I thought it would be. I honestly didn't realize it was a memoir until after I finished, but it was reading a lot more like a true story than fiction which kept my interest. I might be intrigued to read more by this author.
April 4, 2012
It was okay. The storyline fell short---too much angst over nothing, lack of plot and weak characterization. There were a few laugh-out-loud funny parts and several excellent turns-of-phrase that kept me from chucking the whole thing, but mostly disappointing.
May 8, 2012
I only read the first few pages, but I just couldn't get through anymore. The little bit that I did read was poorly written and not really worth it. Since I got this book for free on my kindle I wasn't even disappointed to just quit...
January 8, 2016
I loved the book great story I hope Birdie found true love cause never said in the book. why Birdie did not say what her friend did that he was thankful for seem he would been a good husband but religion I think been a big issue.
January 1, 2016
Being an "Avon Lady" I was keen to read this book on the humorous exploits of an American Avon lady. It was a good humorous read of all the people and experiences the author went through when she was selling Avon. Some things I could relate too. It had some handy tips too. A very funny read
February 24, 2011
As an Avon lady I enjoyed reading the stories of Birdie's run ins with strange customers and raising her sons as a single mom.
April 11, 2012
It was free from Pixel of Ink, so I was pretty happy that I didn't buy the book. It was a funny story, but a little"draggy" here and there.
April 14, 2012
Free on the kindle, which is good because I was bored with it and stopped after the third chapter.
May 8, 2012
This book was an amazing and fun read! I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed every minute of it! As an Avon lady myself, I also got some good tips of what to do, and what not to do! Wonderful book!
September 10, 2012
Don't recommend. At all.
December 2, 2007
heard this was good
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews