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Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year
Over the years, a mainstream approach to Christian parenting has emerged, and it’s one that promotes sleep training and feeding schedules for infants, warns that spoiled children and marital discord are certain by-products of homes where newborns are over-indulged, and promotes these methods as the Biblical way to care for a new baby. Unfortunately, the message of mainstream parenting advice preys on the universal fear of new parents everywhere: the fear that if they stray from the program, their babies and their marriages will suffer.
In Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby’s First Year, two mothers share their stories. They tell of a journey that began in fear-soaked, tear-stained days marked by an overwhelming fear of failure that eventually found redemption in discovering the freedom to ignore the wisdom of man and follow the direction of the Spirit.
This gentle path looks toward the example of God the Father, seeks after Christ’s unequivocal call to servanthood, and leans upon the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in determining and meeting the individual needs of each unique child.
Spirit-Led Parenting doesn’t encourage a methodology, but rather a mindset. This outlook on parenting is radically different from what has become the trend in Christian circles, and yet the authors believe that it is firmly rooted in and supported by Scripture.
Throughout the book, the authors show how parenting with a spirit-led approach has allowed them to become more peaceful, happy mothers, more intimately connected to their husbands, and closer and more surrendered to Christ.
Sharing from their unique experiences as well as their shared philosophy, Megan and Laura play the role of big sisters, wrapping their arms around the shoulder of the new mother trying to navigate the confusing world of life with a baby and answering those important questions: “What if the ‘right’ way doesn’t feel ‘right’?” and “Could there be more than one way to honor God as I care for my baby?”
There is another way. That’s what they wish they had been told as new mothers. And it’s the message they are passionate about sharing with new parents everywhere.
In Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby’s First Year, two mothers share their stories. They tell of a journey that began in fear-soaked, tear-stained days marked by an overwhelming fear of failure that eventually found redemption in discovering the freedom to ignore the wisdom of man and follow the direction of the Spirit.
This gentle path looks toward the example of God the Father, seeks after Christ’s unequivocal call to servanthood, and leans upon the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in determining and meeting the individual needs of each unique child.
Spirit-Led Parenting doesn’t encourage a methodology, but rather a mindset. This outlook on parenting is radically different from what has become the trend in Christian circles, and yet the authors believe that it is firmly rooted in and supported by Scripture.
Throughout the book, the authors show how parenting with a spirit-led approach has allowed them to become more peaceful, happy mothers, more intimately connected to their husbands, and closer and more surrendered to Christ.
Sharing from their unique experiences as well as their shared philosophy, Megan and Laura play the role of big sisters, wrapping their arms around the shoulder of the new mother trying to navigate the confusing world of life with a baby and answering those important questions: “What if the ‘right’ way doesn’t feel ‘right’?” and “Could there be more than one way to honor God as I care for my baby?”
There is another way. That’s what they wish they had been told as new mothers. And it’s the message they are passionate about sharing with new parents everywhere.
229 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2012
11 people are currently reading
299 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
April 10, 2012
I have almost given up reading parenting books because all authors seem to believe they are the only ones with The Answer. If you do not do as they advise, or your children do not respond as they advertise - well, have fun visiting them in jail. This book has a different premise - that God can and will lead each parent to care for their infant in the way He designed for this particular child. The authors do advocate for this position throughout the book, though the Spirit led them both to Attachment Parenting styles and that colors all the writing. It is probably primarily aimed at parents who don't agree with or haven't been able to successfully implement advice like Babywise and its ilk. I think some of the "it's-ok-to-meet-your-baby's-needs" tone also assumes the reader has been pressured into conforming to a schedule and needs reassurance that that isn't the only way. If the reader feels led astray by Dr. Sears, the personal stories of the authors feeling led in that direction might outweigh their comments that others may be led other ways than they were. I am no Babywise disciple, but neither am I in the AP camp and I still thought this book helpful and not-guilt-inducing. I think it would have been still more helpful with my first baby (my third baby is 5 months currently) and I think in many ways the authors wrote the book to their first-baby selves and others in their shoes. A good read for parents trying to find the best way for their own families and finding the "experts" lacking.
August 20, 2012
While waiting for our first child to be born, this was an extremely helpful book for me both from the perspective of helping me prepare to be a father and to understand what my wife will be going through. I highly recommend this book to fathers because having a child can be extremely taxing emotionally for mothers, and it's so important to be gracious while recognizing the enormous changes and challenges they face.
Overall, this is not the kind of book most people will read cover to cover unless you've been raised with some pretty strict notions of how to raise a child (on a schedule from nearly day one, etc.). The content is excellent, but each reader will find different parts more helpful than others based on what you've been taught about parenting.
The best insight for me personally was the suggestion that parents should approach caring for their children spiritually. While there is value to be found in parenting books, the authors make an excellent point that God is more than able to guide parents. That insight alone makes this book a worthwhile read.
My only critique of the book is that while the authors do a fantastic job sharing their personal stories, the style of the book where they jump back and forth and sometimes write "together" is a little clumsy and distracting at times. That doesn't take away from the value of the book, but I certainly hope Tietz and Oyer write another book together, and hopefully they can work on that aspect of their collaboration for next time.
I received a free copy of the book for review from the authors and had no pressure to offer a positive review. All the same, I highly recommend and endorse this book especially for first time parents.
Overall, this is not the kind of book most people will read cover to cover unless you've been raised with some pretty strict notions of how to raise a child (on a schedule from nearly day one, etc.). The content is excellent, but each reader will find different parts more helpful than others based on what you've been taught about parenting.
The best insight for me personally was the suggestion that parents should approach caring for their children spiritually. While there is value to be found in parenting books, the authors make an excellent point that God is more than able to guide parents. That insight alone makes this book a worthwhile read.
My only critique of the book is that while the authors do a fantastic job sharing their personal stories, the style of the book where they jump back and forth and sometimes write "together" is a little clumsy and distracting at times. That doesn't take away from the value of the book, but I certainly hope Tietz and Oyer write another book together, and hopefully they can work on that aspect of their collaboration for next time.
I received a free copy of the book for review from the authors and had no pressure to offer a positive review. All the same, I highly recommend and endorse this book especially for first time parents.
Read
June 4, 2015Such an encouraging read in the months before my first baby arrived. Felt freed and empowered - thanks ladies!
December 3, 2020
This is a great resource! I'm such a planner and scheduler, and it's such a good reminder to be looking to the Holy Spirit, rather than worldly wisdom, in taking care of a baby in their first year.
February 11, 2013
I would consider this a must read for every new mom and so I will be giving it as a shower gift at every baby shower from here on out! Even if you are not religious, the heart of this book is to stop being so critical of yourself, guilty about things out of your control (birth story, breastfeeding) and fearful that you're "doing it wrong" and messing this whole mom thing up. There are lots of parenting books out there that tell you how to raise an infant and in theory we love that because it's like a manual or user guide that we can follow. However, those rules don't work for every baby and it might not work for you either when you're asked to deny some natural mothering instincts to stick to the rules. This book teaches you to follow your mother instincts and give yourself some grace. It is a Christian based book, so it will definitely point you towards putting your trust and strength in God to get through the dark, sleep deprived days of the early weeks of your baby's life (as well as the rest of your child's life). However, I still think any mom could glean some hope and encouragement through this book. This book taught me that motherhood is more about sacrificing to self (sacrificing time, sleep, sanity) and learning to have a servant's heart and attitude while raising your child. It has changed my perspective on motherhood for the better. It's a short read, and IMO, a must read. I will probably read a few times!
November 6, 2013
I really appreciate the thesis of this book. The entire point is this: the most important and helpful voice in helping your raise your children is the voice of God. Other people, books, parenting philosophies, etc can all help but at the end of the day you should feel free to make your parenting choices based on heavenly inspiration. The authors do well to remind Christian parents that no one knows your child better than his/her Heavenly Father and that each child's needs from their parents is unique.
The book is written by two mom bloggers who speak from their own experience. Both were convinced that Babywise was the right Christian way to parent before their babies arrived and ended up doing the opposite of Babywise and feeling ashamed of that. So in many ways the book is reactionary, which gets old. Since it's short and the stories just drive home the thesis over and over it's manageable.
Also, one quote I don't want to forget: "By giving me the gift of a child who needed me to care for her differently than I had planned, God saved me from myself. In teaching me to release control, He brought freedom to my life, offered me a real and tangible example of what it means to die to myself in order to serve Him and my family, and showed me the beauty found in setting my days to the rhythms of the Spirit." p. 206
The book is written by two mom bloggers who speak from their own experience. Both were convinced that Babywise was the right Christian way to parent before their babies arrived and ended up doing the opposite of Babywise and feeling ashamed of that. So in many ways the book is reactionary, which gets old. Since it's short and the stories just drive home the thesis over and over it's manageable.
Also, one quote I don't want to forget: "By giving me the gift of a child who needed me to care for her differently than I had planned, God saved me from myself. In teaching me to release control, He brought freedom to my life, offered me a real and tangible example of what it means to die to myself in order to serve Him and my family, and showed me the beauty found in setting my days to the rhythms of the Spirit." p. 206
February 12, 2016
As an early childhood major at a conservative Christian college, I spent the better part of a semester learning that the techniques in Gary Ezzo's Babywise were *the* Biblical way to parent an infant. I spent the following ten years certain I would follow his approach to the letter when I became a parent.
While expecting my first child, I began learning about the physiology of breastfeeding and infant sleep. Suddenly I felt I had to choose between a healthy, full-term nursing relationship with my baby or raising her "God's way."
I was wrong.
For those of us who have read all the parenting books and taken seriously all the advice, who by nature are researchers and planners and rule-keepers, Spirit-Led Parenting gives the gift of freedom—freedom to hold parenting "do's" and "don't's" loosely and to discern the Holy Spirit's leading day-by-day, moment-by-moment in this sweet and irreversible (but beautifully redeemable) season of our children's lives.
While expecting my first child, I began learning about the physiology of breastfeeding and infant sleep. Suddenly I felt I had to choose between a healthy, full-term nursing relationship with my baby or raising her "God's way."
I was wrong.
For those of us who have read all the parenting books and taken seriously all the advice, who by nature are researchers and planners and rule-keepers, Spirit-Led Parenting gives the gift of freedom—freedom to hold parenting "do's" and "don't's" loosely and to discern the Holy Spirit's leading day-by-day, moment-by-moment in this sweet and irreversible (but beautifully redeemable) season of our children's lives.
December 9, 2013
Finally a parenting book that doesn't assume it has all the answers. A book that doesn't make statements about being the "right" way to parent. How I wish I had read this book earlier in my parenting journey!!
I spent my daughters first year (or longer) trying to get our unique family to fit into the mold of other families that I looked up to. Since I thought their kids were great I (foolishly) imagined that their approach to sleep, feeding, scheduling, discipline, traveling, etc. were THE ways to parent. This produced months of heartache where I felt like a failure when someone else's answers (and the strict suggestions of NUMEROUS parenting books) didn't work for us. Slowly I began to realize that my efforts to force certain issues only caused stress in our home. So I had to give it up, and instead give my parenting journey to God, which is what this book is all about.
I spent my daughters first year (or longer) trying to get our unique family to fit into the mold of other families that I looked up to. Since I thought their kids were great I (foolishly) imagined that their approach to sleep, feeding, scheduling, discipline, traveling, etc. were THE ways to parent. This produced months of heartache where I felt like a failure when someone else's answers (and the strict suggestions of NUMEROUS parenting books) didn't work for us. Slowly I began to realize that my efforts to force certain issues only caused stress in our home. So I had to give it up, and instead give my parenting journey to God, which is what this book is all about.
June 8, 2012
The authors of Spirit-Led Parenting share their personal stories of motherhood, which are both very different, but have an underlying theme: reliance on God for wisdom. I agree. Their stories are very intimate and real, they do not gloss over the messy part of mothering, but present it in a heart to heart way.
Seeking God in parenting is key and we can do this for ourselves and for each other. There is no such thing as a perfect parent and I believe that Christian mothers should be lifting each other up in prayer and bearing burdens for one another. Not if, but when we see another mom struggling it is our task to take it to prayer- privately asking God to grant them the wisdom and strength that they need.
Seeking God in parenting is key and we can do this for ourselves and for each other. There is no such thing as a perfect parent and I believe that Christian mothers should be lifting each other up in prayer and bearing burdens for one another. Not if, but when we see another mom struggling it is our task to take it to prayer- privately asking God to grant them the wisdom and strength that they need.
July 21, 2012
Great Gospel-centered book and a quick, easy read. I highly recommend it for all new parents...or even if you've already had a first or second child, and just need some good reminders or reassurances.
Although they do lean a little toward attachment parenting type methods, I never felt pressured as I was reading it to adopt any one parenting method. Just a nice, refreshing read and things to think about as I enter this new phase of life.
Although they do lean a little toward attachment parenting type methods, I never felt pressured as I was reading it to adopt any one parenting method. Just a nice, refreshing read and things to think about as I enter this new phase of life.
July 2, 2012
What an awesome gift for mothers, a strong reminder that it is best for your baby to be parented in the way God shows you is best. As one who succumbed to the fear and pressure of parenting by the book and learned this lesson the hard way, I will definitely be sharing this book. There were a few points where the authors did seem to push one method over another in a way that took away from the overall principle, thus 4 not 5.
May 4, 2013
This is not a "how to" parenting manual. The authors obviously lean more toward the attachment parenting camp and away from the Babywise models, but their message is that there is freedom in Christ to parent as the spirit leads, whether that involve babywearing and cosleeping, or feeding and sleep schedules. I found it to be incredibly encouraging and scripturally sound. I would recommend this book to any mom and I will most likely be re-reading it when my little one arrives.
April 11, 2013
An amazing book that helps parents who are paralyzed by fear and rules, find the right direction for their child by listening to the Holy Spirit instead of other peoples ideas. As a mom, I was someone who read all of the books and had a plan for my child and when that plan didn't work I felt helpless and a failure. This book addresses some of the toughest situations a parent may face from breastfeeding to sleep schedules, and takes the fear out of it. One of the best parenting books around.
August 6, 2017
With a little one on the way, I was hoping to avoid information overload, and instead find just 1 or 2 solid resources. This book was just what I hoped! It covers a variety of "baby's first year" issues, all the while guiding new parents towards dependence on the Lord for their child's individual needs. I was encouraged and not overwhelmed. I finished feeling confident that the Lord has equipped me enough to raise this baby and depend on Him amidst all the ups and downs.
April 19, 2012
i'm so proud of the amazing job megan and laura did conveying a grace-filled and faith-based approach to bringing a baby into your family in a healthy and peaceful way. looking forward to the day when i can put this attitude into practice.
thank you, girls, for sharing your experiences and your hearts.
thank you, girls, for sharing your experiences and your hearts.
February 4, 2018
Not nearly as earth-shattering the second time around, but I figured I would give it a reread since I've got a wee one again. It's still good, but I'm at a much different place in my parenting than I was nearly six years ago when I read this. It's amazing what parenting special needs will do to your level of "do I care what other people think?" and "am I messing things up terribly?" ;)
October 28, 2012
A must read for all new moms. Not just for the first time moms but also for those who have just had their second, third, fourth, even eighth child. This book is so wonderful in encouraging Moms not to compare (one of our biggest battles) and to submit every trial to God while guarding and cherishing all precious moments as coming from our loving Father.
August 28, 2012
So far, loving it. Just gave me the freedom to be the kind of parent that God made me to be, the kind I want to be, not to go by other various books that say you have to do things in certain ways. Very freeing, can't wait to finish it!
(Thanks Leigh!!)
(Thanks Leigh!!)
July 30, 2012
I loved this book, it covers so much about parenting in the first year... feeding on demand! co-sleeping! non-strict scheduling and nighttime parenting! I loved it all, and wish I had been able to read it before Charlotte was born. It is written from a Christian perspective.
February 18, 2014
I received this book as a shower gift and I am so grateful. If there is only one parenting book you read as a Christian mother, this should be it. It gave me a new perspective on potential and then actual challenges my family would face and pointed me back toward where the answers would be found.
December 16, 2015
An encouraging look at parenting without "shoulds" and "should nots". In general, the book's content was more anecdotal than I would wish. It would have been nice if there were more studies than personal stories, but overall, I found much encouraging thoughts about parenting here.
Want to read
June 12, 2012I'll have to remember this one for my next baby!
July 4, 2012
This is an amazing book and one that I would recommend for all new parents.
March 8, 2013
While I didn't learn anything new, per say, this book was incredibly encouraging on a spiritual level.
June 12, 2013
I like that they did not push one side or another but made you feel better about choosing a path that is not as common as in other parenting books. Great read if you are expecting or a new parent!
April 2, 2014
Great book for new parents!
December 31, 2017
An encouraging read for new parents.
March 11, 2019
This book looks at parenting through listening to the spirit and doing what is best for your family. It had some good insights on being spirit led and ultimately listening to your gut instinct. It wasn’t the book for me though. I’ve never felt like I had to get my babies on a schedule from day 1 or felt pressured to do things a certain way or felt like I could share that we coslept for parts of the first year with both our babes. Maybe parenting culture has changed since this book was published- the fourth trimester, responding to your baby and following routines but not strict schedules are well talked about. So I had trouble connecting to their experiences. Would be a great read if you’re a Christian parent needing encouragement to parent in a way that feels right to you.
January 2, 2025
A good resource for Christian parents that feel the pressure of being pushed into the particular molds of parenting infants that have been so common in the evangelical world - schedules, sleep training, and more. Maybe I'm lucky or maybe my generation is experiencing different particular molds that are more crunchy (ie I have met little resistance telling others that we do co-sleeping and on demand feeding) but I thankfully have not so far felt the strength of that pressure. This still has several helpful tidbits for me I'm grateful I encountered early on in my journey with my firstborn!
July 17, 2015
Go-to gift for expecting moms.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews