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The Bialy Pimps
Life is good at Bingham's Bagel Deli. The loathed customers are dealt the poor treatment they seem to deserve, bad rap music is played loudly, and The Rat is killed often enough to stem his immortality. And the insane homeless regulars -- like drunken Little Johnny Redbeard -- keep life interesting.
But when a rival tricks the crew into thinking that the deli's closure is imminent, they do the only logical thing: instead of giving up, they decide to go out in a blaze of glory, handing their customers the humiliation and abuse that the pesky social contract had previously forbidden. But as insults turn to assaults and snide remarks turn to harassment and pro wrestling moves, a strange thing happens. Business goes up -- way up -- as people come back in droves, begging for more.
But the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and as pop-culture welcomes the parody musical group "The Bialy Pimps" and its frivolous merchandising machine -- and as the crew pushes to see how much bad behavior society will accept -- the violent road to fame begins to feel like a runaway train, out of control and headed for destruction…
The Bialy Pimps is a tale that could only be spun by the twisted, vaguely profane mind of outspoken blogger Johnny B. Truant. Combining hilarity with questions about conformity and whether the tail or the dog is the one doing the wagging, this story can't help but raise a question for the reader: If the rest of your friends decided to submit to the Face-Kicking Machine, would you do it too?
But when a rival tricks the crew into thinking that the deli's closure is imminent, they do the only logical thing: instead of giving up, they decide to go out in a blaze of glory, handing their customers the humiliation and abuse that the pesky social contract had previously forbidden. But as insults turn to assaults and snide remarks turn to harassment and pro wrestling moves, a strange thing happens. Business goes up -- way up -- as people come back in droves, begging for more.
But the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and as pop-culture welcomes the parody musical group "The Bialy Pimps" and its frivolous merchandising machine -- and as the crew pushes to see how much bad behavior society will accept -- the violent road to fame begins to feel like a runaway train, out of control and headed for destruction…
The Bialy Pimps is a tale that could only be spun by the twisted, vaguely profane mind of outspoken blogger Johnny B. Truant. Combining hilarity with questions about conformity and whether the tail or the dog is the one doing the wagging, this story can't help but raise a question for the reader: If the rest of your friends decided to submit to the Face-Kicking Machine, would you do it too?
421 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 13, 2012
17 people are currently reading
178 people want to read
About the author
Johnny B. Truant
193 books693 followersJohnny B. Truant is an author, blogger, and podcaster who, like the Ramones, was long denied induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite having a large cult following. He makes his online home at JohnnyBTruant.com and is the author of the Unicorn Western series, the Fat Vampire series, The Bialy Pimps, and a handful of other properties and growing every week.
You can connect with Johnny on Twitter at @JohnnyBTruant, and you should totally send him an email from JohnnyBTruant.com if the mood strikes you.
You can connect with Johnny on Twitter at @JohnnyBTruant, and you should totally send him an email from JohnnyBTruant.com if the mood strikes you.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
July 26, 2012
Great read...Johnny B.'s characteristic wit and wicked-sharp sense of the ridiculous that his blog readers have come to know and love make this tale of revenge and bagels one to tell your friends about!
August 28, 2013
A Note: I first posted this review on my blog and have only just moved it to Goodreads. When I did so, I read through some of the other reviews and was shocked to see the number of low-star reviews of this book (which, as you'll see, I adore).
I think that readers of this book will be split down the middle, and I think it mostly has to do with age. Younger generations, late-70's babies and younger, all the way down to millennials, will be able to relate to the characters and situations in this book. Older than that, and the reader will probably stodgily harrumph about 'kids these days' and their lack of respect and manners, most likely while tapping out their pipes and adjusting their monocles.
So keep that in mind. This book is for a particular type of person who can relate to the circumstances within.
The Bialy Pimps is a satirical humor book by Johnny B Truant, host and producer of the Self Publishing Podcast.
I’d read two other series by Johnny, Unicorn Western and Fat Vampire (both are still on-going series). I already knew that Johnny is a hilarious writer, and a very entertaining one.
However, I was not expecting Bialy to be as GOOD as it was. Well-written, with a hilarious, off-the-rails cast of characters, and a stunningly poignant view of society, consumerism and celebrity.
SETTING
The novel is set in Ohio, in a bagel deli called “Bingham’s Bagels.” Virtually all action takes place in the deli itself, only delving outside occasionally to visit the lives of the deli staff, or the actions of the book’s villain. You wouldn’t think a 413 page novel could sustain itself without leaving a single location hardly ever, but it does, man. It really does.
MAIN CHARACTERS
PHILIP MARTIN: Philip is the manager of Bingham’s at the start of the book. As such, he has to act as the figure of authority, relaying communication between upper management and his employees. However, Philip truly belongs as one of the crew of incorrigible slackers that runs the joint. When he believes the deli is in imminent danger of being closed, he leads his crew in a mad attempt to go out in a blaze of glory, treating the customers with the exact level of respect (none) and humanity (less than none) that they’ve always deserved.
FAVORITE QUOTE: I THE JIGGY MOTHERFUCKER.
THE ANARCHIST: The Anarchist is modeled after a real person (you’ll find out who when you read the book) and is the embodiment of the general spirit of the Pimps: More intelligent than the idiotic masses they serve, clever and inventive in ways to torment them, and the harbinger and purveyor of the central moral conflict of the story. In The Anarchist we see the greatest representation of the author’s point, and also of his own personal struggles, failures and successes during this time of a person’s life: those early twenties when all of a sudden, the world is calling and you have no answer other than “What the fuck.”
FAVORITE QUOTE: “Own it, brother! This is Bingham’s, the motherfucking home of ghetto!”…The Anarchist threw his hands in the air like a runner crossing the finish line. “This place blows!” he yelled.
DICKY KULANE: Dicky is…well, he’s just Dicky. A perfect depiction of that type of person who’s just a little bit…off (the type of person who becomes a Charles Manson or an Adam Lanza) Dicky is the main antagonist of the story. A former iced tea salesman who lost his job due to the antics of the Pimps, Dicky has an axe to grind and a disturbing love for grinding axes. Using people.
FAVORITE QUOTE: The boy liked dissecting things in science class for all the wrong reasons and kept proposing school projects that involved blowing things up…When called to the office to discuss his predilection for detonation, he justified his projects in disturbing educational terms. This would demonstrate how much poison gas would be required to cause one hundred fatalaties, he might say. Or, This explosion would teach lessons about primary and collateral damage, but also demonstrate the ratio of dead to wounded.
CAPTAIN DIPSHIT: Captain Dipshit is the most hopelessly useless person you’ve ever seen depicted in words on paper. When asked what toppings he wants on his bagel he says, “Whatever’s healthiest.” It doesn’t matter how long he’s been going to Bingham’s, he never learns the menu himself. He thinks Johnny the dwarf is Satan. He thinks the residents of Bingham’s are out to get him (they are, but not more so than they’re out to get everyone else). He’s the leader of a hippie vegan pothead movement that combines all the worst things society has ever thought about hippies, vegans and potheads.
FAVORITE QUOTE:
Oh man, this like sucks that the world is so materialistic
Let’s live in peace with the Earth and, like, eat vegetables
Peace and love, man
Pet a tree.
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
Like I said, I guess I just didn’t expect The Bialy Pimps to be…you know…Great. As in, “Capital-G Great.” Like, bordering on Great Literature. Now, I’m sure no one else will ever agree with me on that point: there are way too many curse words and obscene, ridiculous antics in this book for the stodgy establishment to ever consider it “Literature (Capital-L).”
But, flatly, they’re wrong. Bialy accomplishes any definition I’ve ever been given for literature. It is entertaining, yes, but also poignant. It makes the reader suffer through the eternal helplessness of being a not-quite-imbecilic person in a world full of idiots. It sheds light on consumerism and the cult of Celebrity with which our society is currently so obsessed. In short, it makes you think, even as it’s making you laugh (uproariously, I might add).
An underlying theme of the book is the status quo: the resentment of it; the attempt to buck it; the inevitable succumbing to it; and the discovery of the true way to escape its greedy maw. If I’ve ever seen the struggle so artfully and accurately depicted, the memory escapes me. If any other book or author I’ve read more closely grasped and displayed the struggle of the emerging generation, their names elude me.
Is there a world outside the Kardashians, the Paris Hiltons, the Britney Spearses? Are we all suckers, another type of puppet, if we try to reject what society tells us is “popular?” Is it even possible to have an individual identity, if corporations and the world of marketing will leap on your tastes and suck the life force from them, force-feeding it back to you as the “hip new thing?” I don’t know. I don’t think any of us know, including the author. But I think Johnny hopes so. I think that’s what his book is telling me, and will tell you if you read it. Which you should, if you haven’t gotten that gist by now. I’m sure Johnny would laugh at me for calling this book “important,” but I CAN tell you that I haven’t read anything MORE important in the last five years. Stick to your classic definitions of literature if you want; I, too, love a book about timeless truths of the human condition. But what about TIMELY truths? How about stories that deal with the world we live in, that YOU live in, TODAY?
I just read one, and it’s called The Bialy Pimps.
I think that readers of this book will be split down the middle, and I think it mostly has to do with age. Younger generations, late-70's babies and younger, all the way down to millennials, will be able to relate to the characters and situations in this book. Older than that, and the reader will probably stodgily harrumph about 'kids these days' and their lack of respect and manners, most likely while tapping out their pipes and adjusting their monocles.
So keep that in mind. This book is for a particular type of person who can relate to the circumstances within.
The Bialy Pimps is a satirical humor book by Johnny B Truant, host and producer of the Self Publishing Podcast.
I’d read two other series by Johnny, Unicorn Western and Fat Vampire (both are still on-going series). I already knew that Johnny is a hilarious writer, and a very entertaining one.
However, I was not expecting Bialy to be as GOOD as it was. Well-written, with a hilarious, off-the-rails cast of characters, and a stunningly poignant view of society, consumerism and celebrity.
SETTING
The novel is set in Ohio, in a bagel deli called “Bingham’s Bagels.” Virtually all action takes place in the deli itself, only delving outside occasionally to visit the lives of the deli staff, or the actions of the book’s villain. You wouldn’t think a 413 page novel could sustain itself without leaving a single location hardly ever, but it does, man. It really does.
MAIN CHARACTERS
PHILIP MARTIN: Philip is the manager of Bingham’s at the start of the book. As such, he has to act as the figure of authority, relaying communication between upper management and his employees. However, Philip truly belongs as one of the crew of incorrigible slackers that runs the joint. When he believes the deli is in imminent danger of being closed, he leads his crew in a mad attempt to go out in a blaze of glory, treating the customers with the exact level of respect (none) and humanity (less than none) that they’ve always deserved.
FAVORITE QUOTE: I THE JIGGY MOTHERFUCKER.
THE ANARCHIST: The Anarchist is modeled after a real person (you’ll find out who when you read the book) and is the embodiment of the general spirit of the Pimps: More intelligent than the idiotic masses they serve, clever and inventive in ways to torment them, and the harbinger and purveyor of the central moral conflict of the story. In The Anarchist we see the greatest representation of the author’s point, and also of his own personal struggles, failures and successes during this time of a person’s life: those early twenties when all of a sudden, the world is calling and you have no answer other than “What the fuck.”
FAVORITE QUOTE: “Own it, brother! This is Bingham’s, the motherfucking home of ghetto!”…The Anarchist threw his hands in the air like a runner crossing the finish line. “This place blows!” he yelled.
DICKY KULANE: Dicky is…well, he’s just Dicky. A perfect depiction of that type of person who’s just a little bit…off (the type of person who becomes a Charles Manson or an Adam Lanza) Dicky is the main antagonist of the story. A former iced tea salesman who lost his job due to the antics of the Pimps, Dicky has an axe to grind and a disturbing love for grinding axes. Using people.
FAVORITE QUOTE: The boy liked dissecting things in science class for all the wrong reasons and kept proposing school projects that involved blowing things up…When called to the office to discuss his predilection for detonation, he justified his projects in disturbing educational terms. This would demonstrate how much poison gas would be required to cause one hundred fatalaties, he might say. Or, This explosion would teach lessons about primary and collateral damage, but also demonstrate the ratio of dead to wounded.
CAPTAIN DIPSHIT: Captain Dipshit is the most hopelessly useless person you’ve ever seen depicted in words on paper. When asked what toppings he wants on his bagel he says, “Whatever’s healthiest.” It doesn’t matter how long he’s been going to Bingham’s, he never learns the menu himself. He thinks Johnny the dwarf is Satan. He thinks the residents of Bingham’s are out to get him (they are, but not more so than they’re out to get everyone else). He’s the leader of a hippie vegan pothead movement that combines all the worst things society has ever thought about hippies, vegans and potheads.
FAVORITE QUOTE:
Oh man, this like sucks that the world is so materialistic
Let’s live in peace with the Earth and, like, eat vegetables
Peace and love, man
Pet a tree.
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
Like I said, I guess I just didn’t expect The Bialy Pimps to be…you know…Great. As in, “Capital-G Great.” Like, bordering on Great Literature. Now, I’m sure no one else will ever agree with me on that point: there are way too many curse words and obscene, ridiculous antics in this book for the stodgy establishment to ever consider it “Literature (Capital-L).”
But, flatly, they’re wrong. Bialy accomplishes any definition I’ve ever been given for literature. It is entertaining, yes, but also poignant. It makes the reader suffer through the eternal helplessness of being a not-quite-imbecilic person in a world full of idiots. It sheds light on consumerism and the cult of Celebrity with which our society is currently so obsessed. In short, it makes you think, even as it’s making you laugh (uproariously, I might add).
An underlying theme of the book is the status quo: the resentment of it; the attempt to buck it; the inevitable succumbing to it; and the discovery of the true way to escape its greedy maw. If I’ve ever seen the struggle so artfully and accurately depicted, the memory escapes me. If any other book or author I’ve read more closely grasped and displayed the struggle of the emerging generation, their names elude me.
Is there a world outside the Kardashians, the Paris Hiltons, the Britney Spearses? Are we all suckers, another type of puppet, if we try to reject what society tells us is “popular?” Is it even possible to have an individual identity, if corporations and the world of marketing will leap on your tastes and suck the life force from them, force-feeding it back to you as the “hip new thing?” I don’t know. I don’t think any of us know, including the author. But I think Johnny hopes so. I think that’s what his book is telling me, and will tell you if you read it. Which you should, if you haven’t gotten that gist by now. I’m sure Johnny would laugh at me for calling this book “important,” but I CAN tell you that I haven’t read anything MORE important in the last five years. Stick to your classic definitions of literature if you want; I, too, love a book about timeless truths of the human condition. But what about TIMELY truths? How about stories that deal with the world we live in, that YOU live in, TODAY?
I just read one, and it’s called The Bialy Pimps.
April 24, 2012
This book is frickin' hilarious. It's the breed of humor I call stupid/funny, but being able to write stupid/funny and have it stay funny for that long is nothing short of genius. I read this in 15-minutes sessions over 3 weeks, and I laughed out loud at least once in every session, up until things got kind of serious at the end. I am in awe.
The book is about a band of rude college students who work in Bingham's Bagel Deli. When they're pushed to the limits, they get desperate and snap. To everyone's surprise, instead of getting shut down, fired, and/or sued, the more extremely they abuse the customers, the more of a sensation they become--action figures, hit video on MTV, you name it.
As I read and things just kept escalating and getting more and more over the top, I wondered how this book could possibly come to a satisfying end. But it did. My hat is off to Johnny B. Truant on this one.
The book is about a band of rude college students who work in Bingham's Bagel Deli. When they're pushed to the limits, they get desperate and snap. To everyone's surprise, instead of getting shut down, fired, and/or sued, the more extremely they abuse the customers, the more of a sensation they become--action figures, hit video on MTV, you name it.
As I read and things just kept escalating and getting more and more over the top, I wondered how this book could possibly come to a satisfying end. But it did. My hat is off to Johnny B. Truant on this one.
June 30, 2018
Nice looks into stuff like mediocrity & anti-authoritarianism plus the seeming abyss of human ignorance. This read was a fine blending of "Clerks," "A Confederacy Of Dunces," & an appropriate dash of "Fight Club." Really enjoyed reading it. The humor was often puerile which in it-self isn't an issue but it did turn up a bit often. Then again when the deep and philosophical stuff turned up right after you'd get surprised. Hmmm.
May 9, 2019
Absolutely hilarious
November 24, 2012
A Fast-Paced Multi-Layered Plot, Hilarious Three Dimensional Characters, and a "Supernatural Rat."
Just finished The Bialy Pimps, man what a ride. I’m pretty sure I purchased the eBook immediately after reading "The Universe Doesn't Give A Flying F**k About You" by the same author; which was brilliant.
I've never been much of a blog reader until recently so I had no idea who this Johnny B. Truant guy was.
The first thing I'll mention about Bialy is the note from the author that immediately follows the dedication page. After reading it I was like, wow, who is this guy? (complete admiration)
Then I read Johnny’s "Epic" series which led to his manifesto: "How To Be Legendary." All incredibly AWESOME!
Anyway, I really enjoy JBT's style and voice as a non-fiction writer; his personality leaps off the page. So I was curious how that would translate to his fiction.
With this in mind, I started Bialy biased because I like stuff that's funny. And you can't hand out funny, you can't just give funny away because you like someone either. In my opinion you have to earn funny, especially as a fiction writer.
So while circumspect, it was with high expectations that I started reading "The Bialy Pimps."
I was lying in bed with my girlfriend who was also reading. I'm about two percent in, getting to know Bingham's, a few characters and some background; settling into Johnny's writing style and rhythm—when I got blind sided. The character imagery in Bialy is amazing, so I had a perfect picture of this character in my mind as I read:
"Where the F**k are all the bitches at?" the man bellowed.
Philip turned to the Anarchist. "I don't suppose this fine gentleman has purchased a sandwich?"
The Anarchist shook his head.
"I'd F**k a sandwich!" said the man.
I began to howl with laughter. The attack lasted for 30 long seconds followed by another 30 of aftershocks. My girlfriend was like WTF? In between the fits of laughter and gasping for air I kept yelling "I'd F**k a sandwich!" over and over.
Hahaha, OMG, that was great. You have to read up to that part to really appreciate what I'm talking about.
So at that moment two things happened. First, my guard was completely down. And second, I wanted more.
And more I got.
As Bingham’s Bagel Deli heads toward financial ruin, an unknown adversary initiates a covert plan to help facilitate its demise. Bingham’s crew can only handle so much though and start taking their frustrations out on their customers as they rebel against “upper managements” crazy demands.
Though thwarted again and again, their enemy—who's sanity starts to unravel—continues his campaign to close Bingham's down, but the Bingham crew could care less. Their retaliation knows no bounds as they decide to go down in a blaze of glory; the antics escalate as the onslaught on their customers—who can’t seem to get enough—continues.
Nothing is as it seems at Bingham's though and I had to hold onto my hat through all the twists and turns. The story—subplots included—charged on like a roller coaster to an amazing climax. In the shuddering aftermath, Truant wraps the story up nicely, leaving me completely satisfied and craving a cigarette.
Funny was delivered in spades and I laughed my ass off, but the real gift for me were the characters. I anticipated a fun read, but I got much more than I bargained for. After all the thrills, excitement and laughs, I didn't expect the last two sentences to choke me up and make me smile. But they did.
I was left contemplating human nature, success, my motives; as well as my own "Bingham memories" of long ago. What a great book! You can consider me a "constant reader."
Just finished The Bialy Pimps, man what a ride. I’m pretty sure I purchased the eBook immediately after reading "The Universe Doesn't Give A Flying F**k About You" by the same author; which was brilliant.
I've never been much of a blog reader until recently so I had no idea who this Johnny B. Truant guy was.
The first thing I'll mention about Bialy is the note from the author that immediately follows the dedication page. After reading it I was like, wow, who is this guy? (complete admiration)
Then I read Johnny’s "Epic" series which led to his manifesto: "How To Be Legendary." All incredibly AWESOME!
Anyway, I really enjoy JBT's style and voice as a non-fiction writer; his personality leaps off the page. So I was curious how that would translate to his fiction.
With this in mind, I started Bialy biased because I like stuff that's funny. And you can't hand out funny, you can't just give funny away because you like someone either. In my opinion you have to earn funny, especially as a fiction writer.
So while circumspect, it was with high expectations that I started reading "The Bialy Pimps."
I was lying in bed with my girlfriend who was also reading. I'm about two percent in, getting to know Bingham's, a few characters and some background; settling into Johnny's writing style and rhythm—when I got blind sided. The character imagery in Bialy is amazing, so I had a perfect picture of this character in my mind as I read:
"Where the F**k are all the bitches at?" the man bellowed.
Philip turned to the Anarchist. "I don't suppose this fine gentleman has purchased a sandwich?"
The Anarchist shook his head.
"I'd F**k a sandwich!" said the man.
I began to howl with laughter. The attack lasted for 30 long seconds followed by another 30 of aftershocks. My girlfriend was like WTF? In between the fits of laughter and gasping for air I kept yelling "I'd F**k a sandwich!" over and over.
Hahaha, OMG, that was great. You have to read up to that part to really appreciate what I'm talking about.
So at that moment two things happened. First, my guard was completely down. And second, I wanted more.
And more I got.
As Bingham’s Bagel Deli heads toward financial ruin, an unknown adversary initiates a covert plan to help facilitate its demise. Bingham’s crew can only handle so much though and start taking their frustrations out on their customers as they rebel against “upper managements” crazy demands.
Though thwarted again and again, their enemy—who's sanity starts to unravel—continues his campaign to close Bingham's down, but the Bingham crew could care less. Their retaliation knows no bounds as they decide to go down in a blaze of glory; the antics escalate as the onslaught on their customers—who can’t seem to get enough—continues.
Nothing is as it seems at Bingham's though and I had to hold onto my hat through all the twists and turns. The story—subplots included—charged on like a roller coaster to an amazing climax. In the shuddering aftermath, Truant wraps the story up nicely, leaving me completely satisfied and craving a cigarette.
Funny was delivered in spades and I laughed my ass off, but the real gift for me were the characters. I anticipated a fun read, but I got much more than I bargained for. After all the thrills, excitement and laughs, I didn't expect the last two sentences to choke me up and make me smile. But they did.
I was left contemplating human nature, success, my motives; as well as my own "Bingham memories" of long ago. What a great book! You can consider me a "constant reader."
September 28, 2012
I wish that 3.5 stars were an option. I wish that with lots of books. Three stars is middle of the road, though, and that's where the Bialy Pimps falls for me. I enjoyed it, but probably won't read it again.
This is a funny book, and based on the writer's experiences in college - albeit loosely. I could sense that connection with real people and a real past throughout the story, and the author's note at the end confirmed the relationship. The affection and attachment comes through clearly, and, for me, made the story a bit more...digestible.
Things go a little off the deep end, and there's more than a little hyperbole involved in the Bialy Pimps. That doesn't make it bad, but without the feeling of real people and real emotional attachment it probably would have made the book difficult to read. It's pretty much the fantasy that anyone working a crappy food service job has had, and it's cool that someone wrote it all down.
Here are some really important good points: there are virtually no grammar or punctuation or formatting errors, which was a relief to my inner proofreader. There is a plot and it twists a bit here and there, so I honestly wasn't sure how things were going to end up, and that is always a plus. The epilogue ties things up - I hate to finish a story and have to wonder where all the characters ended up.
I will buy more from Johnny B. Truant, and although the three star rating seems low, I would recommend this book to people who are familiar with and enjoy Johnny's blog, or who like hyperbole mixed in with real-world stuff. Now that I've written that, the Bialy Pimps almost has a magical realism flavor, but set in Ohio instead of Latin America....hmmm....
This is a funny book, and based on the writer's experiences in college - albeit loosely. I could sense that connection with real people and a real past throughout the story, and the author's note at the end confirmed the relationship. The affection and attachment comes through clearly, and, for me, made the story a bit more...digestible.
Things go a little off the deep end, and there's more than a little hyperbole involved in the Bialy Pimps. That doesn't make it bad, but without the feeling of real people and real emotional attachment it probably would have made the book difficult to read. It's pretty much the fantasy that anyone working a crappy food service job has had, and it's cool that someone wrote it all down.
Here are some really important good points: there are virtually no grammar or punctuation or formatting errors, which was a relief to my inner proofreader. There is a plot and it twists a bit here and there, so I honestly wasn't sure how things were going to end up, and that is always a plus. The epilogue ties things up - I hate to finish a story and have to wonder where all the characters ended up.
I will buy more from Johnny B. Truant, and although the three star rating seems low, I would recommend this book to people who are familiar with and enjoy Johnny's blog, or who like hyperbole mixed in with real-world stuff. Now that I've written that, the Bialy Pimps almost has a magical realism flavor, but set in Ohio instead of Latin America....hmmm....
February 1, 2013
I couldn't finish this book. I thought it was going to be much better than it was due to all the great reviews I saw for it. However, it really disappointed me. It's like, the literary version of The Hangover or some other movie that panders to the lowest common denomiator.
The characters were very flat and spiteful. It's obvious they don't like their job, and have just enough brain cells to know they can't work anywhere else. Their attitude would get them fired at any other job that requires 1% self-respect. Thus, they treat their job and the people who come in to buy food like dirt on the floor. Half of them don't even have real names, jut nicknames. The rival was very one-diminsional with a "revenge" scheme as shallow as a Scooby-Doo cartoon. Wait, I take that back, I've seen some really good thought out Scooby-Doo episodes.
The only interesting part in the book that I found myself skipping forward to read was The Rat. I only got a small chuckle out of him, but that's far more than the shallow and very non-humorous antics of the human characters gave me.
The writing of the book was disjointed and went all over the place. The plot (as small as it was) dragged on and was muddled with needless backstories of any character on screen, tangents that started with Character A and ended with Character C after traveling past Character B. I had no idea how many people worked in the bagel shop because new characters were mentioned in passing almost all the time and then forgotten. The book was rather derogitory toward women with one character being refered to as "Tits" several times in the book and other male characters commenting on this or that hot girl. It was hard to read, but very easy to delete.
The characters were very flat and spiteful. It's obvious they don't like their job, and have just enough brain cells to know they can't work anywhere else. Their attitude would get them fired at any other job that requires 1% self-respect. Thus, they treat their job and the people who come in to buy food like dirt on the floor. Half of them don't even have real names, jut nicknames. The rival was very one-diminsional with a "revenge" scheme as shallow as a Scooby-Doo cartoon. Wait, I take that back, I've seen some really good thought out Scooby-Doo episodes.
The only interesting part in the book that I found myself skipping forward to read was The Rat. I only got a small chuckle out of him, but that's far more than the shallow and very non-humorous antics of the human characters gave me.
The writing of the book was disjointed and went all over the place. The plot (as small as it was) dragged on and was muddled with needless backstories of any character on screen, tangents that started with Character A and ended with Character C after traveling past Character B. I had no idea how many people worked in the bagel shop because new characters were mentioned in passing almost all the time and then forgotten. The book was rather derogitory toward women with one character being refered to as "Tits" several times in the book and other male characters commenting on this or that hot girl. It was hard to read, but very easy to delete.
July 30, 2013
I'm a big fan of Johnny's writing and I finally got around to reading his first "literary baby." Having read his Fat Vampire series, a few of the Unicorn Western's and recently, The Beam, I thought it would be interesting to see his beginnings.
It was obvious this was an homage to his days back in college. The characters, the setting and the ridiculousness of it all screamed love letter to my friends - and that was okay! The book was very fun to read and had its moments where I was laughing up a storm.
The writing in the book is solid and it's refreshing to read a self-published novel that feels like it went through some tough editing. My small gripe was the book got a little too ridiculous for it to feel like a real setting anymore.
However, it was a fun read and I would recommend it to anybody looking for something different.
It was obvious this was an homage to his days back in college. The characters, the setting and the ridiculousness of it all screamed love letter to my friends - and that was okay! The book was very fun to read and had its moments where I was laughing up a storm.
The writing in the book is solid and it's refreshing to read a self-published novel that feels like it went through some tough editing. My small gripe was the book got a little too ridiculous for it to feel like a real setting anymore.
However, it was a fun read and I would recommend it to anybody looking for something different.
October 20, 2012
I didn't realise that this writer had a blog and contributed to Problogger, so when I saw him write in the first person at the conclusion of this novel the writing style made sense to me. I found this funny, and quite a long read. I picked it up and it took me quite a while to finish, but I liked having an insight into minor characters as well as major ones. It made it feel like a collection of short stories woven into one cohesive piece, which I liked. The conclusion was perfect for me, and the novel as a whole really made me think. I liked the crass humour and shocking aspects of the narrative, and hearing that it stemmed from actual occurences didn't surprise me, but made me like the book more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 10, 2013
Bialy Pimps is an outrageous '90s-era slacker-fantasy that gives a nod to Kevin Smith's style of humor, and if Clerks was a lengthy novel, it probably would be a lot like this book. Granted, it's not for everyone--people with delicate sensibilities may wish to pass this one by. But if you're into wild pranks and crazy capers, and recall with fondness the lengthy ramblings that are precious to those of us who wiled away the hours in our early twenties in some service job where philosophical discussions about life were vital and waiting on customers was a necessary annoyance, this book will conjure up nostalgia as well as a lot of laughs. I enjoyed this one a lot. :)
December 27, 2012
I read this book in one sitting and laughed a hell of a lot. I didn't want to like it, because I didn't really like most of the characters, but somehow Mr. Truant kept it funny all the way through. His style of writing isn't for everyone, but if you like people who poke serious fun at The Way Things Are, you might like this.
Anyone who's served food to people for a living will get some laughs out of this one. I have, and I did!
Anyone who's served food to people for a living will get some laughs out of this one. I have, and I did!
April 26, 2020
This is my second time reading this book, and I loved it just as much the second go-round. It's an absurd premise but written in such a straight way that as a reader you think, "Sure, this could definitely happen." I'd forgotten some of the details of the book so it was fun to rediscover them. Would definitely recommend to those looking for a book of absurdity with great writing.
May 7, 2013
I love the characters in this story! There were many times I wondered why I was still reading (I didn't want to be one of their customers), but something always pulled me back into the story. I needed to know what happened. What outrageous thing would they get away with next? A really fun read and also an important message. I highly recommend this book.
November 11, 2014
It's too simplistic to call this "Clerks in a Deli," but that description will give you a reasonable idea of what you're in for. Part coming-of-age story for the late '90s generation, part hilarious satire of the customer service industry. Very clever, and very funny. Written with love and affection by Johnny B. Truant, co-author of the Unicorn Western series (and many more).
May 14, 2013
If it were not for a few (very few) funny moments, this would have been given the dreaded one-star and put down before the end. It *really* repeats itself and drags on while somehow still not adequately tying up all the loose ends. Disappointing as it held promise.
July 28, 2012
Ever want to hit a customer in the face with their food? And get away with it?
Read my review at blackjayne.wordpress.com
Read my review at blackjayne.wordpress.com
July 31, 2012
Gave up. All the characters are cardboard or hateful, and I didn't care about the plot, assuming the competition between two shops was the plot. If it wasn't, then the book lacked a plot.
Read
November 1, 2014Interesting and darkly funny but too long. I lost interest and gave up.
October 2, 2012
Can't wait for Johnny's next books to come out. He's got to hurry up writing them.
July 9, 2013
I finally finished!! I can't believe how long it took me to read especially since I did think it was funny - totally outrageous and unbelievable but funny.
December 5, 2013
Actually couldn't finish it. I lost interest
September 10, 2016
Weird, and very outside what I usually read, but I enjoyed it.
Read
March 11, 2016Good read
The story is a little on the fantastical side but if you ever went to college or hated people you will enjoy it.
The story is a little on the fantastical side but if you ever went to college or hated people you will enjoy it.
June 26, 2016
Enjoyably insane.
June 2, 2013
A fun read for anyone who has ever worked in a customer service job.
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