On paper, things looked good for Mark Rice-Oxley: wife, children, fulfilling job. But then, at his 40th birthday party, his whole world crumbled as he succumbed to depression...
How many men do you know who have been through periods when their lives haven't seemed right? How badly askew were things for them? Many men suffer from depression yet it is still a subject that is taboo. Men often don't visit the doctor, or they don't want to face up to feelings of weakness and vulnerability. By telling his story, Mark Rice-Oxley hopes it will enable others to tell theirs. In this intensely moving memoir he retraces the months of his utmost despair, revisiting a landscape from which at times he felt he would never escape.
Written with lyricism and poignancy, Mark captures the visceral nature of this most debilitating of illnesses with a frightening clarity, while at the same time offering a sympathetic and dispassionate view of what is happening, and perhaps why. This is not a self-help book but a memoir that is brimful of experience, understanding and hope for all those who read it. It is above all honest, touching and surprisingly optimistic.
Three sections delineate the book: Breakdown, Depression, and Recovery. 5 stars for Depression. If you only have an hour, skip to Depression and let Mark's brilliant, visceral insight into mental illness saturate your bones. And remind your healthy self that he doesn't sit and stare at the lemon tree for any other reason than that he can do nothing else. He captures the inability to read, to think clearly, to endure too much input, and to engage in family life with honesty and the powerful writing you would expect from an editor at The Guardian.
Breakdown is a mix of convincing us (and himself) that he has been a success. That section seems to be required in any mental health biographies. Recovery is lovely, although it seems easier and shorter than it is for many. It also tends toward saccharine, but perhaps this is inevitable when one feels such enormous gratitude for having recovered. His discussion with his wife about her experience is open, honest and thoughtful.
The book fully realizes Mark's desire to provide insight and hope to those surviving depression. A must-read for those coping with depressed/anxious family members or friends. And isn't that all of us at some point?
This is a marvellous memoir. Brutally honest and open about his experience of depression; lyrical on the subject of his childhood and family and determined to understand why he - mro, Guardian journalist father, husband - seemingly invincible, should have a depressive breakdown. In doing so he offers support to those who have found themselves in a similar position and his strength - for strong he certainly is - is inspirational. At times he can do nothing but sit and look at, rather than take part in, the external world and his concern about recovery is something many of us who have experienced mental illness will share.
But he gets there, learns the lessons necessary to manage his new life with his 'thing' and at the same time offers up some wise words to everyone out there struggling to 'have it all' in the 21st century.
Everyone should read this, not just those who already know what having a 'thing' like mental ill-health is like. It is a lesson to us all.
The book started off with the author's earlier life. It was a little boring, to be honest, but things started to pick up when he began to have the most terrible onset of depression. He would have panic attacks, and thoughts that made him feel that he didn't want to get through life anymore. It is very raw and very real. I felt what he felt, even if I do not understand fully what he was going through. We then follow through with his recovery, then a relapse. Depression, even if it seems that it has gone away forever, has the power to rear its head again when he least expected it. He wrote about how he tried to get better, spoke about the homework that his therapists gave him, and how his wife, the constant anchor in his life, got through things as well. He said that he wrote this book so that others who are facing the same problem, especially men, would have a companion during difficult times. Those who never had depression wouldn't understand. Do having anti-depressant pills definitely mean that the patient is in an extremely terrible condition? No. Is it fair to just tell them to get over it (especially to men)? No. This is his story, and I, like him, hope it will help many who are suffering the same way as he did.
The story of a husband, father and newspaper writer who gets depressed without even realizing it. While trying to fight against depression he cares for a lemon tree. Every day he waters it and watches it for hours. The tree starts to grow and bloom.
At the end of the book, the tree looses its leafs and dies...but the man gets better and returns to the man he was before.
A beautiful comparison with a tree. He managed to overcome his depression because he had people who loved him, who cared for him, who understood him and were there for him ( his children...his wife...his parents...his manager..).
Unfortunately, there were passages that were very boring, jumping from a memory to another. Seemed irrelevant.
Mark Rice-Oxley's "Underneath the Lemon Tree: A Memoir of Depression and Recovery" offers a powerful and uplifting account of the author's journey through depression.
Mar's book distinguishes itself among the numerous current depression memoirs. His elegant and honest descriptions of his despair at the peak of his depression are deeply moving. What stands out is his clear intelligence, practicality on the road to recovery, and his earnest desire to improve."
Mark adeptly portrays the profound pain, internal loneliness, and overwhelming bleakness experienced by individuals grappling with this cruel and debilitating illness. His depiction resonates deeply with many readers who may find solace in its relatability. Despite the darkness, Mark infuses the narrative with an enduring optimism, suggesting that the suffering is not eternal and offering a glimmer of hope to those confronting similar challenges.
The book is an absolute delight to read. It is far from a melancholic piece; instead, it captivates readers with its abundant humour and valuable insights.
I came across this while browsing and was interested as a long-time Guardian reader (the author was working there at the time of writing this 2012). It's an honest account of a serious episode of depression he experienced around his 40th birthday and the process of recovery. It's written with style and humour, describing the pressures of young children, a high-powerful job and the horror and frustration being unable to do anything but stare at the lemon tree in his lounge. I am glad that this book has helped so many people feel they are not alone when they experience a mental health crisis.
A pleasure to read such a true and personal insight into this condition. A very brave and honest account which I’m sure will resonate with many. It is a real talent to be able to put something so complex into words. I have had this book on my amazon wish list but took the opportunity to borrow it from the library when I saw it on a mental health awareness stand... I will now be buying a copy for keeps and to lend to others. I will definitely be recommending!
It was a good book. I just love how Rice-Oxley writes about his experience and at the same time share scientific findings and data of the effects of depression and methods for recovery. One thing about the book I really love, it is really hopeful because it reflects the the writer's path who dealt the issue as it is, not letting himself stuck but seeking professional and companionship for help and constantly looking forward for a recovery. To a person, who loves to read a book that drives on emotions, this is not one of them... but it is insightful, helpful and non-nonsense, which I think would work best for people with depression to read.
This book is an interesting insight into a much misunderstood illness. Although the author suffered very much through the time he relates about his struggle with clinical depression, it is amazing how I found similarities to things I have personally experienced, although to a much lesser degree. The way in which the author brings clarity to a difficult subject, while splashing around enough humour to amuse the reader, and still remaining respectful to the serious nature of the subject, is very clever.
I enjoyed this book but there was a bit of look at me and my thing I am different. There is always a bit of me me me in books like this and he had a different experience to me being able to afford some private health care. I found it interesting how long it took him to come to terms with it as I still struggle with that and with the various ways he tried to combat it but how in the end it was basically time. I find there fact there must be a cause hard, maybe as I just haven't found one.
Excellent book about depression and it's effects on a life. Unusually this was written by a man, and it is a lyrical testament to the to the profound effects depression has on those who suffer from it and their families. The books very readable.
Much will resonate for those who have been depressed, reminding us that we are not alone, and a helpful books for those wanting to better understand depression. The author elucidates by normalizing the cycle of "apocalyptic propaganda" emanating for the "broken" minds of those who are depressed.
A must for everyone! A very open and honest account of life, ups and downs, struggles and an understanding that we are not always in command of ourselves.