How to Create Chemistry with Anyone: 75 Ways to Spark It Fast -- and Make It Last

by Leil Lowndes

Why do you feel an instant attraction to one person and not another? And how can you help ensure that a connection lasts? With her ability to deliver cutting edge information in a lighthearted style, communications expert Leil Lowndes has made a career of teaching the secrets of successful interaction.

In this book, based on the latest findings in cognitive science, she shows readers how to spark that elusive feeling of chemistry with almost anyone -- and sustain it when the relationship moves to the next level, from marriage to parenthood and beyond.

Although chemistry affects nearly every relationship, few people understand it -- what initiates it, what destroys it, and what makes it last forever. While genetic makeup and past experiences all play a role, there are many things you can do to influence it.

Ultrapractical, How to Create Chemistry with Anyone turns the complex neurological science of attachment into 75 easy communication strategies and unusual techniques that show readers what to do -- and what not to do -- to find and keep love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Communication, Relationships

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Leil Lowndes is an author and internationally recognized communications expert who specializes in subconscious interactions. She has conducted hundreds of seminars in the US and around the world for major corporations, associations, and the general public, and frequently appears as a guest expert on national television shows and major news networks. She has authored ten bestselling books on communications — most recently, How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job — and is published in over 26 foreign languages. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 1 out of 5]

Since I'm doing the online dating thing, I might be able to get over one of the things that is holding me back. I'm a bit of a looks-queen. I don't want to just fancy men I consider good-looking (YMMV), who have fit bodies, look like they can dance and fancy me. I want to be able to ignore all that and just go for personality and character. So far I haven't succeeded, So if I can create that spark with guys who don't appeal to me physically, I will broaden the number of men I might have a relationship with.

I'm not doing that badly, but.... I met a guy in Dec. and he's been out to the islands and I've been to Miami in Jan and Feb (and am going back in two days), but he's a sociopath, which is a shame since he treats me like a real princess by day, fabulous restaurants etc, and a slut by night :-D but being a sociopath there is no potential for a LTR.

I also have a couple of dates to come, one from an ex Atlantic Falcons footballer who drives the same fab car as the sociopath, a C300 and one from a ship's master, who flies all over the world to move ships and megayachts. Both interesting men, but there is No Chemistry. Maybe this book will help.

[Chelsea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got this book for free at a recent library conference. I've been skimming through it, and I gotta say, it does make me laugh. Partly because the book is humorous, and partly because I can't imagine myself, or any woman for that matter, feeling comfortable with some of the attraction strategies the author suggests. I'm not sure how valid all of the hunter/huntress tips to create the "spark" are, but the author's conversational tone is enjoyable enough. If you're the type of person who likes dating self-help books, this might be a winner for you.

[Tracy Green · Rating 1 out of 5]

Over simplified, awful, not interesting or insightful.

[Nicholas Galinaitis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly entertaining and fascinating and informative all at once. I love Leil.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who's highly interested in psychology, I found this book very enjoyable. The author is able to incorporate humour and neuroscience from various studies in a way that is easy to understand and is entertaining to read. I would not recommend this book if you're looking for a quick and relevant guide to dating, however if you are fascinated by the scientific reasoning behind the differences of males and females when it comes to relationships, this is the book for you!

[Ajay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Prone to gender simplifications, this book was half-Cosmo magazine. On the other hand, the other half was an interesting look at the chemistry of human interaction, feelings, and the evolutionary biology behind it. I enjoyed the book, thought it a good read.

[Stanley Shen · Rating 2 out of 5]

A stereotype book on the differences between men and women.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another practical book from Ms. Lowndes. This gave me the behind-the-scenes of what's really going on when we feel that "spark" with someone and provided straightforward tips on how to ignite it and make it last. Indeed, the male and female brain are structured differently and, thus, operate in quite a different manner that can also be attributed to our prehistoric origins as hunters and gatherers. It secretes a variety of chemicals that, depending on the gender, can either induce or reduce the emotion we tenderly call "love". It was an easy read with well-referenced materials that I highly enjoyed reading. I may be taunted as being a hopeless romantic, but, really, love is the most magical thing in this world. So if you want to understand the mystery behind it, this book is good place to start. "Love is a temporary madness. it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion...That is just being "in love" which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when "being in love" has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining and informative at the same time! Lowndes has given some very pragmatic tips, there are concrete examples, persuasive evidence with humour! Yet she keeps emphasising she doesn't want women to be perceived as 'cheap' if they apply those skills, yet i think it's inevitable lol
So, use those tips wisely! Wishing everyone luck ;)

[KRM]

The psychology aspect was interesting, though I'm not entirely convinced it's completely accurate. Regardless, I would recommend for anyone interested in relationship psychology, if only because it's a good primer on the current science.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I'm not much into self-help books, I found that this brought up some interesting points about differences between Male and female interests when dating, falling in love, and ultimately staying in love long term.
#bookbingo21 #150books #bookchallenge21 #booksof21

[Nadia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is about how to create chemistry with stranger and make it happened to be our spouse! 😂

[Lucia Rukia · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4,25*

[Elis ❤️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

foi um livro que eu gostei de ler apesar de achar os termos que a autora encontrou para chamar os homens e as mulheres, mas ainda assim leria novamente.

[Moonie_knight · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave up on reading it..... not interested in attracting men with the body.....

[Kumar K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a guy trying to score dates, and this is pretty good. It offers a lot of info that you might not have heard of before. It’s written conversationally, there are tiny stories that demonstrate her theories, and, sometimes, specific tips.

Of course, please take this book as suggestions, not rules. For example, I still think people should pay for themselves on first dates, and I like women who are funnier than me. But in general, it’s nice to have a scientific reason to back up why we shouldn’t rush into bed, or some specific tips like “If you’re a guy who wants good profile picture, get concealer make-up.”

[Long Nguyen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This must be the future of the industry, throwing in neuroscience wherever and whenever it can fit in. NOT a criticism by any means; the author writes in a very approachable manner, and has her citations for the curious. For the most part, the advice we receive isn't earth-shattering or shocking (but definitely above Cosmo!). It does say something about us though, that we've been receiving the same wisdom for countless years and still suffer through all the same mishaps. Either it's a communication issue of learning from our past, or really, we just don't learn very well...

A fun read while it lasted. I doubt anyone would walk around talking about love and all that good stuff with neuroscience words, but taking her advice can only better your life quality (you know, like actually being attentive to what other people are saying. Who knew that is such a turn-on?).

[Ahmed Mostafa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked how the author talked about each and every detail in the relationships from the moment you want to have a date with the one you fall in-love with till the moment you live together for a long time, quite good to be honest but the moment she started talking about chemistry and what happens in your body and her body was quite useless, like if you removed those couple chapters and book would still be valuable.

You can't out this book in a match with "Men from mars and Women from Venus" because this book would definitely lose however this book have lots of new info. that doesnt exist in the first one"Mars and Venus"

[Nakeesha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lowndes has a very conversational style. I recommend skipping straight to chapter three of this book, which is entitled "How to Spark Chemistry to Attract" -everything before it is science-y stuff. In fact, I spent most of my time in three with great "spark" rules about eye contact and flirting. I spent a little time in chapter four about cyber dating, but aside from Lowndes entertaining cheekiness, it was a lot of what you can read on the sign up pages of most online dating sites.

[Tobias Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

a particularly insightful book for those delving into relationships...

we all seek for ways to make relationships stand the test of time, and with the understanding I gained from reading this book, I've a more optimistic attitude in "Happily Ever After" :-)

[Mai Moanes · Rating 4 out of 5]

It never hurts to have a little bit more insight on the mysterious land of relationships...

[Felicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall it is a very well written chapter books