Waiting for His Heart: Lessons from a Wife Who Chose to Stay

by Joy McClain

God tells us to love our enemies. But what about loving and honoring a husband who chooses to walk away from his family, setting up residence in a prison of addiction' Seldom is there a faith with the tenacity that the author displayed during her twenty-two years of praying, enduring tremendous trials and sorrow.

“I will honor my vow, no matter what,” were words spoken by this young bride, believing in the promise of new life and vows spoken. The “no matter what” took this family on such a seemingly discouraging journey that even Christian family and friends believed restoration was impossible. Joy learned to place her complete hope in Christ alone, believing that God’s mercy and grace is sufficient to reach even the darkest and most hardened heart – including her own.

A beautiful, transparent portrait of redemption as marriage is viewed as a living, breathing example of Christ and His bride. Readers will be encouraged and equipped to persevere through deep marital waters.

Genres: Christian, Marriage

176 pages, Paperback

First published August 24, 2012

Reviews

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a testimony... of God's unceasing, unending, faithfulness! ...and a testimony of the author's growing obedience and trust of God. As her husband Mark sunk deeper and deeper into being controlled by alcohol and putting it first in his life, Joy McClain found herself single parenting her son and two daughters; eventually she realized they needed to move out on their own, if only because of her husband's unpredictable violence and fear for their own safety. In this journal-style narrative, Joy becomes increasingly transparent to the reader as the book progresses, as she discloses her struggle to get her own will and ego out of the way in order to allow God's Spirit of Life to move within her and in her life. But rather than a short-term featureless, struggle, it's an agonizing two decades of days.

Whether it's with spouse, parent, child, family, friend, church, or other community, any kind of broken relationship never is easy. For sure the Ten Commandments and Jesus' Great Commandment mark the basic parameters, but how does someone honor their marriage vows - or their commitment to parent or child - in the shadow of violence that may lead to their death and already essentially has destroyed their personhood? It's not directly the subject of Waiting For His Heart, but how does a pastor choose whether or not to remain in a destructive and unfruitful pastoral setting s/he's been called or appointed to? If bearing fruit is a criterion of God's fidelity and our own, how long do we wait in any setting for fruit from an apparently barren ground? One can point the truth that God does not measure time as we do, yet we live in a finite world.

I especially appreciated Joy's describing her initial reluctance to speak publicly about the troubles in her marriage, and then, like every one of us when we're going through hard times, how she discovered she wasn't alone when at last she decided to risk speaking discretely to some persons and groups. On a side note, although the author quotes scripture when it relates directly to the situation at hand, this isn't a devotional book sprinkled throughout with bible verses. In any case, wherever you are, Waiting For His Heart probably could benefit you.

[Wintermote · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have extreme respect and sympathy for the experience of Joy and her entire family. It was very brave of her to share her story, and very humbling to be welcomed into their family story in this way. Yet at the same time I think that this wasn’t terribly well written from a literary standpoint. and I am extremely concerned about the extreme spiritualizing of addiction that happened in the book. I am also concerned about the amount of trauma that went on for Joy, and certainly for her kids. One of the daughters did mention at the end, when she was out of the house and married, she had to work through a lot of things in counseling, which was good but I really think that needed to be more of a focus. I also had an issue with how there was such an emphasis on being a good wife, and praying, and doing all of this protection of the addict rather than Joy taking care of herself. God cares just as much for Joy as for her husband and Joy needed to offer herself some of that grace and tenderness, and care, and protection to herself, and to her children Before her abusive spouse.

[Frank Jaeger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brings light into your live

If you are struggling with your marriage read this book, this is a great tool to believe that God can and want to restore your family you just have to love and believe him.

[Tasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Encouraging!

It is comforting and encouraging to know that someone can relate to what I'm going through. Hearing Joy's story and how God brought her and her family through it inspires me to keep going.

[Heather Fredenburg · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content and story was meaningful. I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style.

[Kacee Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book to read to see a glimpse into other people’s stories and struggles.

[Beauty in the Binding · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Waiting For His Heart, Joy McClain recounts the joy of her wedding day, her husband's unexpected alcohol addiction, the difficulty of a legal separation and a glorious restoration that only God could accomplish.

I first heard a snippet of Joy McClain's story as she was interviewed by a radio show host on Moody Radio. When I received the opportunity to review McClain's book, I eagerly accepted it. Reading her story was a bit different that I had expected. Rather than straight autobiography, McClain recounts certain events and times and then follows it up with a “Learning Along the Way” section in which she gives practical advice derived from her lessons learned.

Waiting For His Heart is a well-written retelling of the author's struggles within her marriage. However, I have some mixed feelings as far as recommending this book. McClain has some excellent spiritual insights and encouragement for a women with a marriage in crisis. Themes such as learning to sacrificially love someone as Christ loved us and learning that personal joy shouldn't be dependent on one's spouse are wonderful lessons for any spouse. However, I would caution women in crisis marriages about reading this book. McClain admits that she had to go to professional counseling before she could see how she had been enabling her husband's downward spiral and there is even a disclaimer at one point that neither McClain nor the publisher intend for readers to take the advice as counsel for their own situations. It seems like it would be far too easy for a struggling wife to read this and just think that she should stay in the situation and stick it out until she gets a happy ending like McClain did.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

[Bob Klaasen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for anyone who wants to gorify God in difficult circumstances. It's one thing to read a novel about someone who overcomes great hardship, but another thing entirely to be able to walk with Joy McClain through her true story of sticking it out through years of darkness, hanging on to hope when most would have bailed. Throughout the story, she is seeking to overcome against great odds, and yet she is very weak, humble, and human. In her marriage to a man overcome by alcohol addiction, no one would have asked her to hope, to remain faithful--but God did, and Joy was obedient. I only hope that my life can bring God glory the way that Joy has, but I have so much to learn. This book is a great encouragement to me in my own struggle to become more like what God created me to be.

[Janna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I deeply admire Joy's decision to wait for her husband. I can sense her depth of faith and catch a glimpse of the struggle it was to continue to believe and wait on God.

But I couldn't help feeling that this book just scratched the surface. It was almost as if in the telling there was something held back. Not that we need a blow by blow of all the nasties. Just that the story didn't resonate deeply in some parts.

I was especially anxious to read the children's testimonies at the end, but when I did felt they glossed over the depth of feeling and went straight to "God worked it all out." I know their stories are FAR from trite but they almost read that way.

Not sure I could recommend this to other wives struggling with addictive husbands. Too much left me wondering.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Lesson" is an apt word choice. The chapters were not necessarily chronological and the narrative as a whole was loose at best. The book was somehow not as emotionally deep or raw as I would have expected. Still, Joy McClain is a voice of experience who is willing to share the painful journey of her marriage with an audience. I particularly liked the devotions in the book's conclusion.

This was a Goodreads Firstreads win.

[Patricia Hullett · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a good-reads give away. I am thankful that I won the book and enjoyed reading it. Joy McClain's faith is remarkable and at times I really felt ashamed of my own prayer habits and my own faith. I know deep in my heart that I probably wouldn't have held on for over 20 years like she did. I wish I could say that I would have been like her. The Lord was faithful to her, God bless her and her children.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing and encouraging! I read it in one afternoon. The author opens up her marriage to the reader and shows how difficult it was to wait and pray for change, but also what God does in the meantime. Excellent.

[Becca · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thoughts to come.

[Emily Boivin · Rating 5 out of 5]

extremly thought pravoking. this book has helped me with my journey through life and it might just help you through yours. i highly recormend this wounderfull book.

[Erdahs]

Won as part of the Goodreads first reads program. Review to come.

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a first reads giveaway win. We can all learn something from Joy.