Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us

Rate this book
A New York Times bestseller, Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all—Emmy Award–winning producers Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, Emmy-nominated writer Laurie Kilmartin, and journalist Karen Moline.

As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as “How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend” and “When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby,” as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny book for the sh*tty parent in all of us.

“Smartly, brashly, nearly criminally funny. It also—no small thing—carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is chill.” —Time.com

“ Sh*tty Mom does for motherhood what Chelsea Handler does for female scatology. It’s a long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal. . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” — New York Observer

176 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

199 people are currently reading
2365 people want to read

About the author

Laurie Kilmartin

5 books20 followers
Laurie Kilmartin is an American comedienne and writer best known for being a finalist on Last Comic Standing season 7. She is currently a staff writer for the Conan O'Brien show Conan.

Source: Wikipedia

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
718 (27%)
4 stars
856 (32%)
3 stars
679 (26%)
2 stars
244 (9%)
1 star
104 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 439 reviews
322 reviews
July 24, 2012
First, let me clarify that this is a tongue-in-cheek parenting “guide.” Some of the other reviewers seem to have missed that aspect. So while it’s inappropriate, it’s hilariously so, and as a sh*tty mom myself, I loved it. With chapters like “How to Drop Off Your Sick Kid at Daycare Before the Teacher Figures It Out“ (if you don’t take their temperature, you can’t lie about their temperature!), “Worst Children’s Book: The Giving Tree vs. Love You Forever” (I think we all know the winner here) and my personal favorite, “Someone Stole Your Baby Name! aka Ballad of the First Aidan Mom,” this book had me rolling with the ugly-inhale gasp kind of laughter.

Structured like the many parenting guides out there, each chapter features little callout “tips” and “reminders.” This one comes from the chapter, “Ten-Second Rule: Pacifier on the Ground,” and states: “remember: if you are the kind of person who thought to bring a backup pacifier, this book is not for you. Sorry.”

If you find these chapter titles give you a chuckle, you are going to love this book. If you are offended, even mildly, then maybe pass on this one. But you’ll be missing out, and all the sh*tty moms like myself will be judging you. JUDGING. You. Now excuse me, my kid got a hold of my iPhone in the time it took to write this review, and I must go reclaim it before he closes my online shopping session.

*I received this ebook as an ARC via NetGalley.
Profile Image for Courtney.
72 reviews11 followers
January 26, 2013
Review - 5 Stars


If you answer yes to one or more of the following questions, this book is for you:

1. Have you ever opened a bottle of wine before your kids go to bed, and had at least 2 glasses?

2. When reading your child a bedtime story, do you skip words, sentences, maybe even pages hoping your kid won't notice?

3. Have you failed to get your kid in the bath tub for more than 4 days?

4. Do you bribe with candy and other tooth decaying treats just so you can get through Walmart without everyone staring at your screaming child?

5. Have you ever locked yourself in the bathroom just for a few moments of peace?

6. Have you ever told your kid his toy was broken just so you wouldn't have to get up and put batteries in it?

I am by no means admitting to doing any of the above atrocities. Just making that clear...

Any-who....Sh*tty Mom is a riot!! Loved every minute!!
Profile Image for Holly.
1,767 reviews88 followers
May 31, 2016
My brother sent me this and Sh*tty Mom For All Seasons: Half@assing It All Year Long for Mother's Day. He's always sending me funny books, like T-Rex Trying and Go The F*ck To Sleep. He really knocked it out of the park this time. Sh*tty Mom was hilarious and spot-on. I laughed so hard while reading it. I also commiserated with my mom and friends over it. A must-read for any mom who thinks she's doing it wrong. Trust me, you're not alone.
Profile Image for Debby.
229 reviews5 followers
September 3, 2016
This book isn't nearly as hilarious as it seems to think it is, in my opinion. (Or maybe I'm just a stick in the mud with no sense of humor.) It tries too hard. It does make a few good points, but I just didn't find it all that funny, and "funny," I think, is the point of this book. Oh well.
Profile Image for Alison.
454 reviews274 followers
January 8, 2013
Hilarious! I laughed out loud before I even finished reading the Contents!

Take the Sh*tty Mom Quiz...go ahead. You know what you'll learn? That you are, like most of us, a Sh*tty Mom. And this is ok. The first step is acceptance, but the difference between this book and other parenting books is that this one will help you to be a sh*tty mom and come out the other side with good kids and a clean conscience.

This book isn't for everyone. For example, if you brought a back-up pacifier instead of wiping your shorts on the one you just dropped on the ground before sticking it back in your baby's mouth, this book is not for you.

Sh*tty Mom is broken up into twelve sections, each consisting of a few short chapters. The moms take you through it all - from the last thing you need to do before you give birth (yes, get your roots done) and how to sleep until 9 AM every weekend (preparation is key), to how to put a stop to the awful nickname your father-in-law gave your kid and what to do when it comes to your attention that your kid is merely average.

I was actually smacking myself in the forehead at how the Sh*tty moms prep the house for the kids on a Friday evening!

Every chapter is full of hilarious tips, tricks, and truths, but be warned, the moms aren't all jokes and f-bombs. They lend a lighthearted hand in some of moms' more important duties - how to make sure your kid doesn't become a PDA-hole, how to leave your kids to go on a business trip, and how to celebrate when you think your kid might be gay.

Throughout the book, the Sh*tty Moms have also put helpful tips every Sh*tty Mom should remember in a box with a light bulb. For example:

"Some moms make athletes, Sh*tty moms make fans. Somebody's got to yell at the TV on Super Bowl Sunday."

This team of authors pushes the envelope, gets their readers laughing, and reminds all of us moms, you don't have to be perfect to get it right.

I highly recommend this book as a gift for the new mom or a mom-friend in your life that needs to brush up on her Sh*tty Mom skills.
16 reviews
November 16, 2012
If nothing else, I know for a fact I'm not a Sh*tty Mum. I understand this book is intended primarily for entertainment purposes, but I'm kind of stunned that other reviewers consider it to be full of good advice.

I'm giving it two stars because it made me feel better about the kind of parent I am and because it was a good reminder that sometimes it is appropriate to lighten up. It's humorous, certainly, but also kind of horrifying.
Profile Image for Jody.
71 reviews
July 26, 2012
I received an advanced copy from a bookseller friend - who either thinks I'm a sh*tty mom or that I have a good sense of humor. Ok, I'm not gonna lie, I could have written a few of these chapters, but I also do have a good sense of humor. Hilarious book! Any mom who doesn't think so takes themselves way too seriously.
Profile Image for Ellen C.
89 reviews2 followers
December 16, 2012
Not actual parenting advice... Just in case you didn't get the joke. It's just a great little funny book that will let you laugh at motherhood, and make you feel better about the stress involved. Quick read.
Profile Image for Laci Young.
2 reviews4 followers
January 3, 2019
If you need a little pick me up in parenting to make you feel better and know your not the crappiest mom alive.. this book is hilarious! It sheds light on some things we all feel but maybe we are just not bold enough to say!
Profile Image for Maria Shuffit.
406 reviews20 followers
July 15, 2017
I had a lot of mixed feelings about this book. I remember seeing it on the shelves years ago when I was working at a bookstore and the idea of having my own kid was a distant concern. I thought it must be full of snark and would likely be something to enjoy later down the line.

Well, that time is now. Like a lot of new mothers who struggle with anxiety and PPD, I have my times where I sit on the couch holding my infant and sobbing and apologizing to him because I am positive that I am the worst mother ever and he deserves so much better than me. I recently recalled this book and thought it might cheer me up, or at the very least, show me that there are much, much worse moms in the world than myself.

When I first started reading, I felt kind of disgusted. It sort of felt like this book was more for women who feel like motherhood is a terrible burden and might now be wishing that they had never even had kids. But I read on, and found little gems here and there that did what I was hoping for: made me feel better about myself. Not because it showed that I am any better than any other mother, but because it named the very habits that I tend to fall into and then get overwhelmed with guilt over them, and it made me realize that I'm not so alone. Yes, there are some really horrible tips in this book, but that is why it is shelved in the "humor" section and not "family and parenting." But there are actually some really useful tidbits in there, too, not the least of which is that we're all just exhausted and stressed out and will do something that might seem irresponsible and deplorable because we are only human and we just need a break. So this book might be called Sh*tty Mom, and might reference its readers and Sh*tty Moms, but honestly, it made me feel a lot LESS sh*tty about my ability to parent my kiddo.
Profile Image for Shelleyrae at Book'd Out.
2,626 reviews561 followers
September 9, 2012

If you can't answer 'yes' to at least one of the questions in the Sh*tty Mom quiz then I suggest you put this book down and walk away. It takes time to get a little perspective on the whole parenting thing so don't despair, in another year or two, or after another child or two, you will be ready to enjoy the irreverent advice and humour found in this tongue in cheek guide to motherhood.

Sh*tty Mom: The Guide for Good Enough Moms has a structure similar to the early parenting guides you read so intently while you were pregnant but with chapter headings such as "How To Hand Off the Newborn Who just Filled a Diaper" and "Stop Looking for a Great Babysitter and Settle for One who Shows Up", it lacks the traditional wise and scientifically proven judgements passed down from pediatricians whose own children were raised by their (bilingual) nannies.

Essentially this is a stand up comedy show script with lines written strictly for audience reaction. I couldn't help but snigger here and there and even laughed loud enough for my husband to ask 'what was so funny?' on occasion. There were scenes that went a little far, even for my relaxed mothering style, but I am sure a redneck somewhere thought they were hilarious.

Even though there is little in this book in the way of serious, or even legal, advice there is a kernel of wisdom buried under the snarky wit and carefree attitude of Sh*tty Mom. Parenting is, at times, exhausting, thankless, and insanely competitive. Sometimes "good enough" is the best you can do, and that's OK.
Profile Image for Jennifer Corsi.
29 reviews
February 19, 2021
I know this is supposed to be funny but it just tries too hard. I feel like I have read this book before by various authors. Always by someone who tries to make a quick buck by branding themselves (in this case the FOUR authors) as edgy with the “mommy humor” by “saying what we are always thinking”.

I may have found parts of it more comical if I were to have picked it up when my kids were babies instead of when they’re in elementary and preschool.

Although this book was going to get at max, 2 stars for effort, the chapter that prompted me to write a 1 star review was “White Moms: How to Bounce Back After You Ask an African-American Mom of the Wrong African-American Child Is Hers”. Ok, I get that this was written in 2012 (BLM started in 2013) but humor like this chapter isn’t funny. Continuing to act like it is, even at a base level of what amounts to canned laughter on a sitcom, drives the notion that it’s ok to laugh like this with your white friends. Don’t perpetuate clueless white woman “I just want to appear diverse” dumb stereotypes and worse, that a black mother would be understanding that the white mom is well-meaning. This isn’t funny.

You could read it in a day but why bother. If you want something moderately more amusing but damn near identical in overall content, pick up People I Want to Punch in the Throat. I rated it 3 stars so it’s still not stellar but if you actually liked this book than that one will blow your mind.
Profile Image for Sheila.
198 reviews5 followers
November 28, 2012
This book was Hilarious!!
Hahahahahaha.....
(I am STILL LOL-ing thinking about certain sections.)

I am SUPER proud to say that I raised my 20 year old daughter the “SH*TTY MOM” way!
(This was done out of pure instinct, as there were NO guide book/instructional manual back then!)

I do believe the “Sh*tty Mom” way works, as I am a proud Sh*tty Mom of a healthy, non teenage mother (YES!) with a 3.5 GPA; Structural Engineering major, in her Junior year. Whom I do believe, will put me up in a nice private nursing home, close to her house in the suburbs of Southern Cali, as opposed to the state run one in the downtown area of some nasty azz, cold northern city!

Read this book if you are a new Mom, old Mom, thinking about being a Mom, or EVEN a GrandMom!

You will laugh out loud and do what I did, read excerpts to your (Adult?) children saying, “I did it the Sh*tty Moms way and you all turned out pretty dam good”!

:-D

Profile Image for Rebecca.
Author 5 books26 followers
January 7, 2013
One might wonder, considering the fact that I am not a parent, why on earth I've been reading so many humorous parenting memoirs lately. The answer? I have no idea, except that some of them (the good ones) make me smile during my breaks at work. Also, hey: someday I may be a parent and it is likely I will need the laughs/ wisdom offered by these authors.

Sh*tty Mom is more pointed and more funny than most of the fluff in its genre. Several chapters--specifically those on baby-naming and dropping sick kids off at daycare--made me laugh out loud. Not a lot of honest-to-god advice here, but that doesn't strike me as the point. I'd recommend this book to any real-life parents, exhausted and exasperated, who need to chuckle before they cry.
Profile Image for Katie.
73 reviews
September 12, 2021
This book was written by privileged white women for other privileged white women. There were so many opportunities to discuss real issues in a funny way (ie "How to Drop Off Your Sick Kid at Daycare before the Teacher Figure it Out" could have seriously discussed the social problem that women fear losing their jobs if they miss work for sick kids), but the authors chose not to. I wouldn't recommend reading this. although some parts were definitely funny and relatable, overall the book is tone deaf to diversity and inclusion, and cringe-y at some parts.
Profile Image for Chloe (Always Booked).
3,204 reviews122 followers
January 29, 2019
This book should be called Sh*tty Human. There are so many things in here that are meant to be funny but are just stupid and rude. Motherhood is hard and being able to laugh about it and relate to others is critical, but this book took it too far. It was racist and judgmental and I shook my head more times than I laughed. It was quick, easy, and there were a few things that made me chuckle, but overall I would not recommend this book.
Profile Image for Emily Dawley.
316 reviews
February 16, 2013
The most hilarious nonfiction book I've read since Shit My Dad Says. (I'm noticing that I've only been reading nonfiction books with shit in the title.) I laughed out loud at every chapter. One of my favorite lines is when they point out that "kid spelled backward is dik." This book takes the serious job of parenting and all of the pressure that comes with it and smacks it right upside the head.
Profile Image for Leah.
587 reviews
October 20, 2014
Strongly dislike is a good phrase for this. It was not funny. Out of the entire book I found 1 paragraph funny. The one on the Kardashians. Other than that they were just whiny. Ok if push came to shove I didn't hate the dog mom chapter either. Don't waste your time.
53 reviews1 follower
January 24, 2018
Somewhere between 3.5-4 stars. It was pretty damn funny. They made fun of every kind of mom. You will laugh but some of it may miss the mark.
Profile Image for Jill Alfrey.
86 reviews1 follower
March 17, 2021
Everyone mother should read this book, it’s a great reminder that you’re not the only one!
Profile Image for Ashley Bartlette.
56 reviews
January 18, 2022
The most inappropriate parenting advice ever and I lived for every page of it! Completely hilarious
Profile Image for Heidi.
404 reviews2 followers
September 11, 2017
Very quick, easy, and funny read. I am SO glad there are books out there now that talk about real Mom's and how it is incredibly hard and frustrating.....and in this particular instance, with some humor thrown in.
Profile Image for Sabrina.
1,335 reviews2 followers
May 21, 2020
This was a great satire to read for a good laugh and light reading. I really loved the edge of truth behind the satire.
Profile Image for Felicia.
576 reviews38 followers
June 6, 2017
Read over a few weeks. There were some funny chapters but this was not really what I was expecting.
Profile Image for Antonia.
122 reviews3 followers
October 21, 2021
Moderately funny. She seems to think all moms drink and curse, but scores on lots of other points.
Profile Image for amelia.
62 reviews32 followers
October 9, 2013
OK, so I'm rating this as a comedic novella, not as a parenting guide.

This book is hysterical, like read bits aloud to my husband hysterical.

There are tongue-in-cheek sections, as the oft quoted here Taking Your Sick Kid to Daycare (seriously that pissed me off so much when my kid was an infant, how dare other parents expose her to their child's germs?! Now she's a toddler and constantly oozing, I'm "paying it forward" too.)

And on playground squabbles: "Only rookies assume their kid is innocent."

But there's also bits of truth, that make you feel not so alone compared to all the damn SAHMs and over-achieving craft-making moms: "Your baby will give you the backbone you've always longed for, and she'll do it by sucking the life out of you."

The authors do a great job of finding humor in motherhood all over the spectrum; sons, daughters, singles, many, working moms, single moms, and married moms.

But, if you're not the type that enjoys a sarcastic sense of humor, this isn't the book for you.

Profile Image for Lucile.
8 reviews3 followers
June 27, 2014
I have found 3 different types of humour in this book, the first is wild exageration, second is entirely satirical and the third is that awkward funny-because-it's-true. For example: While it's a spoof, not meant to be an actual parenting guide (and if you took the whole thing as genuine you'd have to be out of your mind) there are certainly one or two mini-chapters (eg "Tantrum at a Shopping mall!") that could actually contain a rare gem of genuinely decent advice such as "bring food" because it's a good distraction technique. And while I personally found it hilarious some readers may need to remember to try not to take the whole book seriously, it's just meant to be a giggle afterall.
Profile Image for Camille.
293 reviews62 followers
September 24, 2012
LMFBAO! Seriously. I was laughing so hard on the train that my seatmates were rolling their eyes as I was literally pulling tender stomach muscles. This book is funny as hell and a great antidote to so many of the parenting advice books, magazines, and books out there. Yes, parents, you will do things that may screw your kids up. It's unavoidable. No, you are not always going to be operating on all four cylinders. Parenting is tough work and somebody's gonna do it..and sometimes they are gonna do it kinda sh*ttily. This book reminds you that you can raise another human being (or multiple human beings) without losing your wisecracking, violent movie watching, wine swilling self.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 439 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.