Dr Ruth's Guide for the Alzheimer's Caregiver: How to Care for Your Loved One without Getting Overwhelmed…and without Doing It All Yourself

by Ruth Westheimer, Pierre A Lehu (Primary Contributor)

Dr. Ruth, a trusted name in relationship therapy, presents effective coping strategies for both the practical problems and emotional stresses of Alzheimer's care. More than 15 million Americans are responsible for the care of a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, a situation that can quickly lead to feeling overwhelmed while trying to balance between the full-time needs of a dependent adult and the caregiver's own physical and mental health. The tactics and resources presented in this book build confidence in the caregiver and provide health-guided advice on how to avoid burnout, seek support from family and friends, resolve family disputes, maintain a loving relationship with a spouse or parent with Alzheimer's, manage behavior, and make the home a safe environment. Keeping the best interests of everyone involved in mind, the guide also details how to coordinate effectively with doctors, facilities, and other care providers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health

188 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Karola Ruth Westheimer, better known as Dr. Ruth, was a German-American sex therapist, talk show host, author, professor, and Holocaust survivor.
Westheimer was born in Germany to a Jewish family. As the Nazis came to power, her parents sent the ten-year-old girl to a school in Switzerland for safety, remaining behind themselves because of her elderly grandmother. They were both subsequently sent to concentration camps by the Gestapo, where they were killed. After World War II ended, she immigrated to British-controlled Mandatory Palestine. Despite being only 4 feet 7 inches (1.39 m) tall and 17 years of age, she joined the Haganah, and was trained as a sniper, but never saw combat. On her 20th birthday, Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during a mortar fire attack on Jerusalem during the 1947–1949 Palestine war, and almost lost both of her feet. Moving to Paris, France two years later, she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. Immigrating to the United States in 1956, she worked as a maid to put herself through graduate school, earned an M.A. degree in sociology from The New School in 1959, and earned a doctorate at 42 years of age from Teachers College, Columbia University, in 1970. Over the next decade, she taught at a number of universities, and had a private sex therapy practice.
Westheimer's media career began in 1980 with the radio call-in show Sexually Speaking, which continued until 1990. In 1983 it was the top-rated radio show in the area, in the country's largest radio market. She then launched a television show, The Dr. Ruth Show, which by 1985 attracted 2 million viewers a week. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid, but also warm, cheerful, funny, and respectful, and for her tag phrase: "Get some". In 1984 The New York Times noted that she had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom." She hosted several series on the Lifetime Channel and other cable television networks from 1984 to 1993. She became a household name and major cultural figure, appeared on several network TV shows, co-starred in a movie with Gérard Depardieu, appeared on the cover of People, sang on a Tom Chapin album, appeared in several commercials, and hosted Playboy videos. She is the author of 45 books on sex and sexuality.
The one-woman 2013 play Becoming Dr. Ruth, written by Mark St. Germain, is about her life, as is the 2019 documentary, Ask Dr. Ruth, directed by Ryan White. Westheimer had been inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame, and awarded the Magnus Hirschfeld Medal, the Ellis Island Medal of Honor, the Leo Baeck Medal, the Planned Parenthood Margaret Sanger Award, and the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany.

Reviews

[Jennifer FitzPatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an especially good book for spouses of those with dementia. Really great advice is offered about how to handle intimacy, romance and sexuality.

[Rene Aube · Rating 4 out of 5]

A LOT of practical advice in a serious yet caring tone. I wanted to bring her home
with me to guide me along the path of caring for my loved one.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical, honest
Friendly tone
Text-heavy
Not super medical

[Kimberly Fields · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book while browsing books on Alzheimers' disease, that might be helpful as I work taking care of an Alzheimer's patient. This book is directed mainly at long-term caregivers, such as family members, rather than paid caretakers like me, but I still found it interesting and useful. Unfortunately, I had to turn it in to the library before I was all the way finished, but I was far enough to have a good idea of what the book was like. I thought the author did a great job in the chapter about dealing with emotions, where she described and suggested healthy coping techniques for each emotion an Alzheimer's caregiver might deal with. I really liked her push to get caregivers to get as much outside help as possible-- otherwise caregiving can be extremely hard on the caregiver physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. The one thing I didn't like was her advice to spouses of Alzheimer's patients to go ahead and get into relationships (including sexual relationships) with someone else, even though their spouse is still alive. I have moral objections to that advice, although I acknowledge that it would be very difficult to deal with being a spouse of an Alzheimer's patient, and I'm not completely sure how I would handle it.
So, overall I liked this book and I recommend it to anyone who's dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer's, or even any aging loved-one (a lot of the principles in the book work with dealing with aging parents/loved-ones in general), as long as you take her advice regarding sexual relationships with a grain of salt.