Object: Matrimony: The Risky Business Of Mail-Order Matchmaking On The Western Frontier

by Chris Enss

Desperate to strike it rich during the Western Gold Rushes and eager for the free land afforded them through the Homestead Act, men went west alone and sacrificed many creature comforts. Only after they arrived at their destinations did some of them realize how much they missed female companionship..

One way for men living on the frontier to meet women was through subscriptions to heart-and-hand clubs. The men received newspapers with information, and sometimes photographs, about women, with whom they corresponded. Eventually, a man might convince a woman to join him in the West, and in matrimony. Social status, political connections, money, companionship, or security were often considered more than love in these arrangements.

Complete with historic photographs and actual advertisements from both women seeking husbands and males seeking brides, Object Matrimony includes stories of courageous mail order brides and their exploits as well as stories of the marriage brokers, mercenary matchmakers looking to profit as merchants did off of the miners and settlers. Some of these stories end happily ever after; others reveal desperate situations that robbed the brides of their youth and sometimes their lives.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Research, American History, Sociology

168 pages, Paperback

First published October 2, 2012

Reviews

[Kristi Thielen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging, easy read about mail-0rder matchingmaking. The book's title includes the words "on the Western Frontier," but the anecdotal information includes matches made into the early part of the 20th century.

Matrimonial newspapers, which ran ads for mates, were eagerly sought out by the lovelorn and consistently sneered at by uppity easterners who considered themselves superior to the tastes and behaviors of those beyond the Missouri River. (Most westerners will tell you that this prejudice continues to this day, on a variety of issues.)

As is true of all matches made remotely, some were great successes and some resulted in a bride or groom (usually a bride) who took one look at their intended and grabbed the next train out of town. And some matches were made by deceivers out to bilk the other party of their hard-earned money. (Again, brides were more likely to do this.)

It was interesting to learn that men overwhelmingly preferred widows to single women, when it came to looking for a spouse.

Everybody admires someone with experience . . .

[Kristin Holt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read OBJECT: MATRIMONY, a nonfiction book on the subject of 'The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier' by Chris Enss primarily for my own understanding of that slice of American history. I was delighted by the careful organization, clear and precise writing, humorous anecdotes, well-documented historical sources, and the wide range of true-to-history mail-order marriages the book covers.

I share more details about what Ms. Enss did so supremely well in this nonfiction title in my blog review. See: http://www.kristinholt.com/archives/3550

I recommend this nonfiction title for its ease in reading, entertainment (and instructive) value, and as a significant source of background information for those who enjoy reading fiction (including romance) set in the 19th century American west.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book - what a fun piece of non-fiction (and short!). Jam-packed full of information on mail-order brides (1 of only 2 books that I've found!) with anecdotes and ads and pictures and you name it.
Because this is non-fiction, however, I would have liked a bit more help on the research side of things - statistics, a timeline of sorts, etc.
Solid B+, but I ate it up like an A+.

[Kay Mendenhall · Rating 3 out of 5]

You know this book wasn't to bad although I wish it had more stories not just facts. Ok so its a non fiction fact book but I liked reading about the true love stories anyway that's why I gave it 3 stars.

[PennsyLady (Bev) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Object: Matrimony: The Risky Business Of Mail-Order Matchmaking On The Western Frontier
by Chris Enss

This was a quick read (168 pages) and an entertaining look at men/women who pursued relationships by advertisement.
There were some true love matches but many paid for their haste in seeking a spouse.
I appreciated the inclusion of the Harvey Girls.
Along the railway routes of the Southwest, they were carefully chosen by Fred Harvey to staff his lunch rooms.
They were not wealthy but instead simple, decent, hard working, attractive girls (18-30) with the decorum required of a Harvey Girl.
They often also sought marriage partners and they were encouraged to marry men who were "sober and honorable."
I'm sure this was less risky than mail-order matchmaking.

This was a nice snapshot of a trend in the latter 19th century in the developing western frontier.

[Haris Mohammad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Won from a Goodreads giveaway sponsored by the author and publisher.Not really fun to read, however, this is a literary bible as it contains tons and tons of anecdotes and newspaper stories on the topic of mail-order marriages.From this book, you can certainly build an idea of how long it took for the author to find all these newspapers to get her information, which I'm certain is 100% accurate and credible.The only problem I have which is a major one is the fact that for a subject packed with emotions like tears, stress, fear, anxiety, but this book doesn't contain much emotion.A suggestion I give is that it needs more pictures to bring this subject to life for the reader.Instead, this book gives the impression that marriage through mail-ordering was actually dull.However, one fascinating thing that I learned was how ready people were to travel vast distances in search of a partner who they don't even know.I feel that it was the culture of the time and how it was a clear-cut image of people's view of marriage back then.None of the human mindset and cultures of that time period is explored which kinda left me disappointed because I was expecting a deeper study.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I loved this book. It was an easy read and I was able to read it in a weekend (although I was sick so I had a lot of down time). The writing was straight to the point and included some interesting stories and pictures. You can tell the author did her homework. The only thing I wish there was a little more of would be more personal stories. Granted there probably isn't a lot of information about how these people felt or how they made their marriages work or things like that but having just an overview of their stories left me wanting more! What happened to them? How did they survive? Were they happy? Some of the stories included that but for the most part they were high level stories with just the bare minimum. That may be all that was available but it would have been nice to have more developed stories. Very fascinating book though. I highly recommend to anyone! It was so interesting to see why a person would advertise for a mail order bride or why a woman would advertise herself...Loved this!!!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting topic; not interesting writing.

I don't feel the author put a lot of effort into this book. And I wonder how thick the book would be without the constant quoting of others. Do I care to read 12 examples of an ad in a row? No. 3 would have been enough to make the point. Large chunks of articles from old newspapers were included as well. Some taking up several pages.

The organization in the book was lacking as well. It jumped all over the place and didn't give a lot of facts about the practice. Lots of anecdotal evidence and quotes of what newspapers of the time printed about it, but not a lot of research into impact ect.

There are probably better books on the topic.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting and amusing overview of the mail-order bride industry in the US. Although the stories are interesting and the added extras (photos, ads, poetry) are fun, i would have liked a little bit more depth or structure. Stories are just touched on and there doesn't seem to be any overriding logic as to what's included where, so the info gets a little repetitive and random.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author often veers away from the "Western Frontier" of the title by outlining stories of matchmaking gone wrong in places like Pennsylvania and London. I had a hard time taking this author seriously.

[Wendy Quest · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful guide book to the matchmaking techniques employed during the old west, including actual newspaper ads and the detailed process of posting "want ads" for marriageable bachelors/bachelorettes. Quite informative and well-researched.

[Sallie Dunn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mediocre at best, Random stories about mail order brides and men out west looking for wives. No rhyme or reason. No chronological order just a mish mash of mediocrely written vignettes from the late 1800’s and early 1900,’s. Don’t waste your time.

[Miss Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

A great deal of research went into this, but it lacked a cohesive style to truly tie it together. Dry and dull despite the funny, touching, and tragic stories it could have expanded upon.

[Jerry Jares · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the most powerful aspects of this book is Chris Enss care in selecting stories; she surveyed a range of brides and bridegrooms and the methods they used to get together. Before reading this book, I had no idea there were any other avenues to marriage than mail-order brides.

A variety of publications and marriage brokers were available from 1849 to 1916. Immediately after the Civil War, there was a severe imbalance in population by gender. For example, the East was awash in widows and unmarried women while thousands of men were looking for a wife in the West.

Men went west for the Gold Rush, mining adventures and cheap land. It didn't take long for the men to realize that they wanted wives but there were few coming West. In most areas, men outnumbered women by 200 to one and more! The demand was so great that even whores had no trouble leaving the life and becoming a treasured wife and mother.

Enss highlights a wide range of stories and situations. The only thing I didn't enjoy was her writing style. Enss did careful research but the stories seemed blah. To be fair, it could also have been the fact that the stories were only a few pages long; it's hard to build drama in 2 or 3 pages.

There didn't seem to be any organized plan for the book; it was a collection of anecdotes and interesting facts. Unfortunately, most of the facts were stated at least twice. I was surprised that such a fascinating topic could be presented in such a ho-hum fashion. 3 stars

[dejah_thoris · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read with short chapters on the history of mail-order matchmaking. Enss refers to this book's predecessor a few times within it, which sounds like it documented one couple's experience. So, I do not think I missed much by reading this book instead. The anecdotes aren't long, but combined together they provide a good view on a unique time in American history. Men were scarce in the East due to the Civil War and ladies were scarce in the West because it was still a frontier. Remote matchmaking wasn't perfect, but marriage may have been a better economic option than becoming a spinster or remaining a widow. Definitely worth reading because they certainly don't teach this history in school.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a delightful little book as the subtitle makes clear: The Risky Business of Mail Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier. The fact that all the stories are true makes it even more entertaining. Meeting someone online is NOTHING compared to these tales of individuals who see each other's picture in a magazine or newspaper and step way out of their comfort zone by writing to each other. The men are all out settling the west and the women are back in the east with a strong desire to never be labeled a "spinster."

Some of the couplings are successful; some are not. It's a business and most of the marriage brokers are in it only for the money. None is exchanged until after the wedding takes place. I found this book both entertaining and knowledgeable.

[HM · Rating 4 out of 5]

These stories absolutely enthralled me all the way through. It’s interesting how desperate we can be to get to the altar, though there’s much more going on here than just that. Women used marriage on the western frontier to escape all kinds of difficult situations, to have an adventure, or just escape the typical expectations of eastern society. Kudos, ladies! And kudos to the author- this one’s a winner!

[Maryann Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book includes historical photos and advertisements from both women and men who are seeking marriage. There are many stories of the circumstances of these unusual unions--some humorous, some sad. Loved the old photos. This was very interesting and obviously involved a ton of research by the author.

[Susan Liston · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is a bit misleading, it doesn't particularly stick to the old west. This is mostly anecdotes about mail order brides across the country as late as the 1930s. But there were some interesting tales. Also interesting how a lot of the personal ads shown here sounded almost contemporary.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting and fun book to read.

[Katherine]

Very interesting! a light read about something very important in America's history

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris did a wonderful job on detailing how the original mail order brides worked out. She does a lot of research when she writes her books.

[MKF · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jumps around a lot.

[Jenny Lawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before there was tinder there was this. Weird but interesting.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was quite an enjoyable read - I began it one evening and finished it the subsequent morning, almost without realizing it. Prior to my encounter with this book, I had read a few things about the Old West's shortage of women and the ensuing mail-order bride trend, but my knowledge was merely surface deep (at best). As such, my biggest delight in reading this book was discovering more about these fascinating marriages, both on individual and wider social levels. I was especially enchanted by the author's inclusion of multiple genuine personal ads, mail-order bride ads, and other singles ads from the era - reading the thoughts of these men and women, in their own words, was both fascinating and incredibly insightful as to their motivations and hopes.

The personal anecdotes were, by far, my favorites part of this book and the author most certainly did not disappoint in this regard. In fact, a wide variety of personal stories are included, ranging from true-love matches, to reluctant weddings, all the way to tricks, bigamy schemes, and even violence.

My only criticism (I'd give this book 3.5 stars, to be more accurate, if I could) is the lack of wider historical and social contextualization throughout the text. As a student of history, I was able to supply some of this myself, but I feel that the author's work would have been much more strengthened by a deeper analysis. As such, the book reads as a lively presentation of research, conveniently and pleasantly assembled for the reader - which is entirely enjoyable! I simply would have liked to learn in a more investigative, historiographical manner.
Nevertheless, this book was a thoroughly entertaining and often educational read and has whetted my appetite for discovering more about the curious (and dramatic) mail-order bride business in the Old American West.

(FYI: I received a free copy of this book as part of a Goodreads Giveaway.)

[Eric Wurm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever reads personal ads on Craigslist just for the entertainment value? Imagine going back to the middle of the 19th century and doing the same thing. On the western frontier there were many men seeking fortune, and few women to marry. In the east, the ratio was poor for women looking to meet a life mate after the civil war. The solution: mail order love.

This book is both history and humor. It chronicles the rise of matchmaking by mail while offering humorous stories about the successes and failures of finding love before there was Tinder. All of the same problems existed. Many romances by mail were destroyed when one of the correspondents turns out to be not as formidable, attractive, or as high on the social ladder as was suggested.

This book will certainly appeal to readers of 19th century American history. It's short at 150 pages, it doesn't wax verbose, and there's always a laugh around the corner. The topic is not something I'd normally search out, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Disclaimer: I received this book from the fine and generous author free of charge for the purpose of review.

Further disclaimer: Any author that provides me with a quality book free of charge will be referred to as "fine and generous".

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short book just scratches the surface of the topic, but it was a fun read. It contains actual want-ads submitted to the "Matrimonial News" and other publications that were popular from the mid 1800s to the 1920s or thereabouts. Some of the stories ended happily, some were tragic (and/or criminal) or merely disappointing, but it showed that human nature hasn't really changed, this was just the match.com of its day.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway. It's a fun read and covers most any situation you can think of regarding the topic. It is well researched with quotes from advertisements and photographs that make the subject come alive. Thank you!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked reading all the fun storied of successful and not successful mail order bride stories! A fun read. It got a little text booky at times with some long excepts and/or quotes.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly anecdotal - I would have liked more background history, but it wasn't bad overall.