Touching Encounters: Sex, Work, and Male-for-Male Internet Escorting

by Kevin Walby

Often depicted as deviant or pathological by public health researchers, psychoanalysts, and sexologists, male-with-male sex and sex work is, in fact, an increasingly mainstream pursuit. Based on a qualitative investigation of the practices involved in male-with-male—or m4m—Internet escorting, Touching Encounters is the first book to explicitly address how masculinity and sexuality shape male commercial sex in this era of Internet communications.

 

By looking closely at the sex and work of male escorts, Kevin Walby tries to reconcile the two extremes of m4m sex—the stereotypical idea of a quick cash transaction and the tendency toward friendship and mutuality. In doing so, Walby draws on the work of Foucault to make visible the play of power in these physical and commercial relations between men. At once a revelation to the sociology of work and a much-needed critical engagement with queer theory, Touching Encounters responds to calls from across the social sciences to connect Foucault with sociologies of sex, sexuality, and intimacy. Walby does this and more, retying this sexual practice back to society at large.

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT

219 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 2012

Reviews

[Servabo · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's interesting that male escorts can feel emotional connections with a client at a first meeting, and even refuse to accept money for this "heartfelt" connection/encounter. It reminds me of the first time that I met Vincent: we both felt an instant connection that led to physical passion very quickly. Also reminds me of the time that Till gave me a massage, while nude. In both cases, I felt like a client (liken to those in these stories), and Vincent and Till my "escorts", providing me (free) service due to a heartfelt connection. I am happy for these "touching encounters"; indeed, they were touching in more than one way. I still remember the way Vincent blushed and poked my kneecap, very endearing and gentle as you'd expect from a moon in Pisces.

"The thing about escorting is it's a market where anybody could be an escort. A 90-year old grandma could be. It's a matter of marketing yourself." 🤣

"I top, I bottom." 👀

"Higher ranks want to be dominated; tie them up and whip them and that sort of thing seems to be like the reverse of the role that they're in their regular life." 🤔

"I met somebody off of it who I've now seen... three times and all he wants to do is rub your back and hold you and just chat. You don't want to have sex with me, all you want to do is just like sleep beside somebody." 🥺

"I provide emotional intimacy to a lot of people as my job. If the guy is gay, he wants to kiss and he wants to cuddle. He wants that relationship feeling." 🥹

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[Cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting anecdotes, but despite the deep interaction with various strands of sociology it manages to feel thin, somehow.

[willowdog · Rating 3 out of 5]

Scholarly and well-referenced from Foucault to queer theory, this analysis of the new normal of male-for-male internet escorting documents the change in escorting in the computer age.