I Would Meet You Anywhere: A Memoir

by Susan Kiyo Ito

“Susan Kiyo Ito is like a surgeon operating on herself. She is delicate, precise, and at times cutting with her words. But it is all in service of her own healing and to encourage us all to be brave enough to do the same in our own stories.” —W. Kamau Bell

Growing up with adoptive nisei parents, Susan Kiyo Ito knew only that her birth mother was Japanese American and her father white. But finding and meeting her birth mother in her early twenties was only the beginning of her search for answers, history, and identity. Though the two share a physical likeness, an affinity for ice cream, and a relationship that sometimes even feels familial, there is an ever-present tension between them, as a decades-long tug-of-war pits her birth mother’s desire for anonymity against Ito’s need to know her origins, to see and be seen. Along the way, Ito grapples with her own reproductive choices, the legacy of the Japanese American incarceration experience during World War II, and the true meaning of family. An account of love, what it’s like to feel neither here nor there, and one writer’s quest for the missing pieces that might make her feel whole,  I Would Meet You Anywhere  is the stirring culmination of Ito’s decision to embrace her right to know and tell her own story.

Genres: Memoir, Adoption, Nonfiction, Asian American, Book Club, Asian Literature, Research

262 pages, Paperback

First published November 4, 2023

Reviews

[J.S. Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Susan Kiyo Ito's story as a biracial domestic adoptee raised in a Japanese American family is a heartfelt and necessary addition to both Adoptee and Asian American Lit. With much relatability and grace, she bravely portrays her ongoing adoptee journey through grief and gratitude while navigating themes of identity, secrecy, and rejection. She generously shares the complexities of loving and being loved by her adoptive parents while coping with loss and detachment from her roots. Her writing style is so wonderfully honest and real that you feel like you're right there with her each step of the way. I wanted to hug her through the rough moments and cheer with glee through her more tender times. While these stories can be rife with triggers and hard on emotions, I felt she took care with the pacing and craft in ways that never left me too overwhelmed. As a fellow community member, I've always adored her and now I appreciate her even more. The heart she poured into this work is a tremendous gift and I'm honored to have had the chance to take it in.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow i am so grateful to ohio state university press for gifting me a copy of this beautiful, tender, vulnerable, eye-opening memoir

susan ito is a biracial (Japanese/white) adoptee, who was adopted by two nisei parents & began her search for her birth parents in college. she is able to find her birth mother & spends decades nurturing a fragile, tenuous relationship. this memoir lays bare all of the emotions that come along with searching for your roots, personally experiencing the impacts of reproductive choice, & broadening your definition of "family"

i just learned so much from this memoir. while every adoptee's experience is different, ito highlights commonalities as she comes to find community amongst other adoptees. she recounts her involvement with various adoptee rights organization in a way that sheds light on the barriers adoptees face & explores the conflicting emotions that come with this type of deeply personal activism

i particularly appreciated reading about a transracial adoptee adopted by parents of color because i feel there are many stories told by adoptees with white adoptive parents. ito reflects on how her connection to her Japanese heritage through her adoptive parents feels muddled at times due to her "other (white) half" & feelings of not being Japanese enough, taking readers with her on her journey to make meaning of her biracialness. it was also so interesting to hear about her parents' connecting with other Japanese folks in their generation, especially considering their experiences as east coast nisei who were not interned

ito's writing is fairly straightforward, really allowing her story & emotions to speak for themselves. in the acknowledgments, she mentions that many snippets of this book have appeared in other publications. this was surprising because the story felt cohesive, not repetitive, & flowed well. i feel like i've read other memoirs written similarly & this is not always the case!!

throughout the entire book, i was consistently floored by how vulnerable & raw ito was. i teared up multiple times & i just found myself overwhelmed with gratitude for her bravery in sharing this story. knowing how much she had invested, gained, & lost throughout her journey makes it all the more special that she was willing to share this with the world. another phenomenal, unique addition to the growing presence of asian american voices in the memoir scene <3

thanks again to ohio state university press for the gifted arc, I WOULD MEET YOU ANYWHERE will be out in november 2023!!

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all happy families are alike; each family formed by adoption is unhappy in its own way.” [Apologies to Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy for the mashup of opening lines from Pride & Prejudice and Anna Karenina.]

Susan Kiyo Ito’s memoir of her on-again, off-again relationship with her blood mother is a marvel of pacing. Scenes crucial to the narrative are slowed down to the moment-by-moment level of specific gestures, dialogue, interior thoughts, and exterior observations. This strategy allows readers to fully inhabit Susan’s real-time experiences of searching, finding, and accommodating Yumi, the woman who gave birth to her.

Susan’s adoptive parents supported her search for and subsequent relationship with Yumi, and tried to bring everyone in the adoption triad together. What was intended as loving and supportive ironically intensifies questions of family loyalty. During early meetings with Yumi, when Susan is in thrall to the very idea of being near to her own flesh blood, it’s as if she wants their relationship to be private. In aching, honest prose, she describes the awkwardness of feeling pulled toward Yumi and toward her adoptive parents when the four of them meet.

This early, innocent awkwardness is short-lived; it quickly turns into anger, anxiety, and pressure, for Susan’s existence is Yumi’s secret shame. Yumi is married and has two other children who know nothing of Susan. Yumi is anxious to keep the truth from them and everyone in her circle who knows her as a successful wife, mother, and businesswoman. A fragile, intermittent, under-the-radar relationship between Susan and Yumi results from this pressure. Even though Yumi cuts Susan off again and again, Susan keeps welcoming her back when Yumi turns up after years of estrangement as if everything is okay.

Maybe Susan keeps welcoming Yumi back because severing ties is too painful for a woman who who was separated from her mother as an infant. And maybe Yumi cuts Susan off and keeps coming back because it’s too painful for her, too. A survivor of the World War II Japanese internment camps, Yumi was also a survivor of misogynist American culture that shamed unmarried women who became pregnant, and then coerced them into giving up their babies to a predatory adoption industry. Maybe the blood ties between mother and child are so strong they cannot be permanently destroyed, so strong that they can overcome the pressures of culture.

I wouldn’t know. My own mother, fourteen when she became pregnant with me, died one year before my adoption search was successful. I’m childless, too, so the whole mother/child thing is mysterious to me, something I can only learn about from other people’s stories. Susan Kiyo Ito’s memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere is one of those stories: it brims with the contemporary details that translate another’s experiences and embraces the distance needed to interpret those experiences and give them meaning.

Tolstoy knew that on the surface at least, a happy family is one that conforms with societal values, like the Ozzie and Harriet family of the 20th century, and the Instagrammable family of the 21st century. A family that’s cobbled together by another family’s loss and grief — what’s usually the second best choice of adoption — is by definition unconforming and “unhappy in its own ways.” Reading about and listening to the experiences of adopted people, told in their own voices, is the only way to understand those unique experiences. And every one of our stories will be different.

[Becca Moug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the only memoir that has ever made me choke up within the first few pages - it broke my heart and put it back together a million times!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a mid-twenties transracial adoptee and still muddling through my own adoption thoughts, feelings, secrets, and uncertainties, and have been for years now; but as I’ve delved into it more, I’ve discovered wonderful adoptee authors. Susan Kiyo Ito’s memoir made me laugh, cringe, curse, and cry, and to feel connected through writing and to read someone’s words and *understand* is something I am so profoundly grateful for. I wish I grew up with more literature like this but am so glad I’ve discovered it now. This memoir is beautiful, and I can sense her courage and fear in it, and so many other feelings and sensations that it’s impossible to put in this review. Thank you, Susan, for sharing your life with us, with all its complexities, and for your resilience. Thanks from one adoptee to another for providing this space (in the form of a book—one of the best places to be) to learn and feel connected to a community I’m just now discovering in full.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book -- much more than I expected I would. It is the true story about a half Japanese and have white woman who was adopted by a Japanese couple a few months after being born. The story of her search is about more than just adoption, but also about life and parent/sibling relationships. It really applies to everyone, and helped educate me about how an adopted person may feel. (I have a few close friends who were adopted.) As I progressed through the book, it was harder and harder to put down for the night.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this more stars if I could. No review I could write would give this book justice. I just want to say that Susan Ito so perfectly captured the range and intensity of the feelings that so many of us adoptees share. There are many differences in our stories but so much is the same. And no I do not have my OBC….yet. There are some bills currently in the senate that could have Michigan following New York’s lead. Thank you so much Ms. Ito for writing this book!

[Anshuman Patnaik · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 for writing but 3.5 for narrative storytelling (not a huge fan of non linearity at times) rounded up.

Personally would have liked to read the unedited version here - I feel the author left out more visceral parts of certain relationships that she probably has captured, but I respect the author’s choice.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful writing of adoption reunion, relationship, disconnection, which illustrates the hope, the heartache, the painful decisions with vulnerability, strength and grace

[Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memior was full of hard emotions but also positive. I think adoption is a wonderful way to create a family but it is also very complicated. This story told about the hardships of closed adoption and I know personally that those hardships don't magically disappear with an open arrangement. This book is not long and gives great insight into how it feels to be given away but also be chosen.

[Moriah Cordova · Rating 5 out of 5]

sooo many emotions, this book was a rollercoaster but such a good read. recommend 100%

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book over a few days ago— trigger warning for possible PTSD — adoption , family drama , abortion etc in this vain . I could relate to some aspects of this story not knowing one side of my family — but the authors story was utterly heart wrenching and breaks my heart — as I realize how much I will lose out on — she really did have a lucky life even if she wasn’t able to have her dream relationships with her biological family — she has made her own family which is more then I will ever have. Get a box of tissues you’re gonna need it !

[Kyle Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Incredible Memoir for those looking for an adoption identity story, a heart-wrenching mother daughter story, a story about growing up Japanese American, or for someone who is longing to belong. No matter who you are, this story is for you!

"I Would Meet You Anywhere" by Susan Kiyo Ito is a poignant memoir that intricately weaves together the threads of love, loss, and self-discovery. Ito's prose is both lyrical and raw, inviting readers into the intimate corridors of her life.

Ito masterfully transcends the traditional boundaries of the memoir, offering readers a captivating exploration of not just adoption, but the complex relationships of mothers and daughters, generational trauma and the intricate interplay of women's reproductive choices across generations.

Ito's narrative skillfully unfolds, revealing the delicate tapestry of her own journey while seamlessly intertwining it within the broader context of being a half-white, half-Japanese American and what that has meant during the last 7 decades.

Ito masterfully navigates the complexities of identity, interweaving her personal story with a broader reflection on the evolution of societal perspectives on motherhood and the poignant struggles faced by women through the ages

Through the lens of her experiences, she navigates the complexities of Mother-daughter relationships and the universal quest for meaning.

Beyond adoption, she delves into the complexities of the "sandwich generation," navigating the challenges of simultaneously caring for aging parents and raising a family. "I Would Meet You Anywhere" stands as a luminous testament to the universal themes of family, choice, and the intricate threads that connect us through generations. Susan Kiyo Ito's narrative prowess shines brightly, creating a work that is both timeless and timely.

[Lyzette Wanzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have any connection whatever with adoption or the adoption process, this is a must-read book. My sister is adopted. Susan's search is a journey that is, by turns, exciting, hopeful, devastating, rough, unsettling, and triumphant. In particular, the last third of the book triggered an entire raft of early-childhood memories of my sister's adoption process. I realize now that, while I had desperately wanted a younger sister, aspects of the process had traumatized me. Those memories resurfaced and I found myself crying in public places while reading--something I NEVER do. I remembered our social worker's name--I've never forgotten it, though my sister has no memories of the woman--and I remember being at the adoption agency. I remember the intrusive home visits. I remember my sister visiting--which I always thought meant she had come to stay--and then being whisked away days later, only to repeat the process again and again over several months. I didn't understand. I was five years old. I disliked our social worker, Mrs. Eagle, intensely.

I will be gifting my sister a copy of Susan's book for her birthday, and I hope she will read it. The two of us are orphans now, and my sister has never expressed an interest in tracing her biological parentage. My mom used to ask her about that, and my sister always seemed disinterested. But was she really? She was able to obtain a copy of her birth certificate some years ago, which showed that we had been celebrating her birthday two days late for 45 years. What else in her background is incorrect? What lies were told to my parents? The adoption process in this country is seriously flawed in a multiplicity of ways. Susan's journey is a vital, critical testimony, but also a condemnation of sorts. I recommend this book with highest regards.

[mike m · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't have enjoyed this book more. I particularly liked how it leaned into the Japanese American experience and the internment and WW2 service. This was such a massive part of our country's history, and this book gives a whole new light on it, while providing a unique backdrop for adoption that I had never heard before.

Also a complex, engaging exploration of the mind fuck that can follow reunion. It's easy to think, "I'd make my birth mother include me on my terms", but life doesn't work like that. Crispy written without losing the emotional impact - a very delicate balance that is executed with precision. I found the whole thing to have excellent pace and be an unexpected page turner (figuratively: audiobook).

I wanted to hear a bit more about how her relationship with her parents adjusted in light of the reunion. In the book they are only supportive, but also the author can't help but compare her mothers, and I felt like her adoptive mother might've felt some shift. There are times when the author avoids them to keep from losing her composure; did her parents notice? Perhaps they never had these discussions so there was not more to tell.

[Julietta · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful and heart-rending memoir! Susan Kiyo Ito, an adoptee, has eloquently proven the case for opening all records for people like her.

Her story begins like a well-written, yet poignant, mystery. I was aching to find out all about the author's origins. And the action never lets up from start to finish!

It's a lovely conceit to have each chapter entitled cryptically. Then, after the reading, I knew exactly why it was named in this way. It provided me with a touch stone to remember the entire plot of her memoir. I say plot intentionally, even though this is a memoir, because it reads like the best of fiction!

Here are some examples of chapter titles:

I Would Meet You Anywhere

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other

The Mouse Room

Lucky

Just a Bee Sting

Origami

When I read each of these, I know exactly what that chapter was about because Ito encapsulates some important aspect of the story within each title.

In short, this is an extremely well-written and moving book, more than deserving of 5 tear-soaked stars.

[Hilary Zaid · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a writer, one often worries about the memoirists. Publication sets the bar ever higher for their suffering; the market seems to demand stories inked in their blood. But Ito's tender memoir of life as an adoptee reminds us that longing, the search for self and a life well lived can make a compelling memoir, too. The opening chapters of this story of the search for Ito's origins are crafted like a thriller. The heartbreak in this tale of longing and belonging are deeply touching. And the sheer breadth of Ito's life story puts all of us to shame. Finally, this memoir defies the reader not to treasure Ito herself. Not all memoirs can do that. I would read Ito anywhere.

[Patricia]

This is a compelling read, in the way that Ito pulls the reader forward through her emotional journey of being an adoptee. She made me think about adoption in new ways. As a person who has adoptees in her family, I admit I've been naieve about their experience and while it's no doubt different than Ito's, I now feel much more alert to the issues that might confront adoptees.

She's a beautiful writer, whose descriptive and metaphoric language brings a reader right into her experience. She relates delicate, intimate details with finesse and compassion. Her writing and her subject matter are powerful.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this gorgeous book in a day, captivated by Ito’s beautiful prose, compelled by a story which is both heartbreaking and joyful. It’s a big story—about adoption, the lasting legacy of WW2, reproductive rights—all made so poignant and powerful by Ito’s achingly personal writing.

Here is just one quote from the dozens I copied (referencing her birth mother, Yumi):

“Once again, I was the secret held by our mother. I was wilting under the weight of all the not telling. Still, I couldn't resist Yumi’s siren call. I would crash on the rocks of her.”

[Thea Galante · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written and poignant. As a 1966 closed adoption baby I appreciated your detail and honesty. I also joined a similar search group in my 20's on the West Coast and petitioned to have my sealed records opened. The ripple effects of relinquishment and discovery you shared felt so similar and yet uniquely yours. This book is a gift to anyone connected to this way(adoption) a "family" is formed.

[Heather Corbally Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely glorious book—I could not put it down. A heart-rending and hopeful story about one woman’s complicated search for her cultural, biological, and personal identity.

Magnificent language and an intriguing structure—the words are like a collage on the page.

As soon as I finished it, I wanted to start it all over again!

[Beverly Hallfrisch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is perfection. *chef's kiss*
Beautiful introspection on her adoption and family dynamics.

[Y · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous and engrossing book. One of those books that is so well crafted that you don't want it to end.

[Gabby · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 I read this book over 2 days which I wasn't expecting. I rly found the point of view of the main character and just the main theme of adoption interesting, I feel like I learned a lot more abt how it can impact ppl. I didnt relate a ton to the main character but I found the dynamic of her idolizing her birth mother and at times being embarrassed by her family interesting. I think it also didnt end w a cliche of her being like "oh my mom has always been there for me" which was good. The part w her dad apologizing to her made me tear up. My immediate reaction after I finished the book was let me call my grandma.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible memoir of an adopted biracial Japanese-White woman searching for her birth parents.

[Jeanne Blasberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well-written and powerful memoir - not just about a young woman's quest to reunite with her birth family, but her vulnerability and willingness to subjugate her emotional needs in order to maintain a relationship with them. Susan Kiyo writes in a clear and sharp style and offers through her writing a warning for all people to not subject themselves to narcissistic, emotional tyranny.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of the same adoption narrative.

[denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I miss my mom💔

[emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

a beautiful story

[Maryellen Pfeiffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow this sorry was very moving. As an adoptive parent, and member of the triad, despite being of a different generation and having open adoptions, so much of Susan’s story resonated with me. She reflects her experiences so beautifully. Her losses and longings are relatable and well articulated. I teared up many times. Throughout her stories, parenthood is defined and redefined and as each of us grow up, I really love how this happens for us all, no matter what our circumstances. Thank you, Susan Ito, for sharing courageously.