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The No Contact Rule
If you've ever felt close to tearing your hair out wondering how you'll cope with the fact that you've cut contact with someone or how you'll ever get yourself out of a vicious cycle of get back together, realise things haven't changed, end things, kneejerk back to them or get drawn in when they pursue you, and lather, rinse, repeat, The No Contact Rule is the definitive guide to finding your way to freedom so that you can get on with your life.
Fight the compulsion to keep trying for a relationship, attention, and validation and understand why No Contact is often the only way to extricate yourself out of unhealthy dynamics with the type of people that don't respect or empathise with your feelings. Grab back your power and move on to a
No Contact (NC) is ideal when someone just won't break up, but isn't prepared to commit to being and doing what is expected of them. It's also exactly what's needed when you keep chasing someone who doesn't want you or isn't prepared to give you what you want and need. NC teaches boundaries and imposes limits both on yourself and the other person. This detailed comprehensive survival guide provides all the info you need to understand what no contact is, why it's necessary and effective, what they're thinking, breaking your pattern and understanding your compulsion, dealing with NC with co-workers or the parent of your child, how to stay the course, and get onto rebuilding your life so that you can move on.
Natalie Lue is the author of the Bagage Reclaim blog and the ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, which is a no holds barred guide to understanding emotionally unavailable men, the women that love them, and modern day dysfunctional relationships and the impact of self-esteem. With well over a 100K readers a month, her blog and ebooks have become a much needed source of support for people who have previously felt alone and mystified by their relationship and self-esteem issues.
Fight the compulsion to keep trying for a relationship, attention, and validation and understand why No Contact is often the only way to extricate yourself out of unhealthy dynamics with the type of people that don't respect or empathise with your feelings. Grab back your power and move on to a
No Contact (NC) is ideal when someone just won't break up, but isn't prepared to commit to being and doing what is expected of them. It's also exactly what's needed when you keep chasing someone who doesn't want you or isn't prepared to give you what you want and need. NC teaches boundaries and imposes limits both on yourself and the other person. This detailed comprehensive survival guide provides all the info you need to understand what no contact is, why it's necessary and effective, what they're thinking, breaking your pattern and understanding your compulsion, dealing with NC with co-workers or the parent of your child, how to stay the course, and get onto rebuilding your life so that you can move on.
Natalie Lue is the author of the Bagage Reclaim blog and the ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, which is a no holds barred guide to understanding emotionally unavailable men, the women that love them, and modern day dysfunctional relationships and the impact of self-esteem. With well over a 100K readers a month, her blog and ebooks have become a much needed source of support for people who have previously felt alone and mystified by their relationship and self-esteem issues.
131 pages, ebook
First published May 1, 2007
126 people are currently reading
404 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
September 25, 2014
Much of the content of this book is also covered at the author's blog, but I needed more. I recommend this book to anyone who needs support in a break up. It helps with understanding the nature of toxic relationship cycles, deciphering behaviors, etc. of someone who "seems" to want you but really doesn't. I'm convinced that in most cases, the NC is the best method to help you with letting go and moving on from a dead relationship.
October 31, 2020
I found out
This book enlightened me in very detailed way. When I put NC into practice I got a lot of clarity from the external AND internal responses and reactions. It has been nothing but positive even when it hurt. There are tons of lessons to be learned from taking a different course of action. My learning may not be like anyone else’s I cam guarantee tho, you won’t put this book down empty handed.
This book enlightened me in very detailed way. When I put NC into practice I got a lot of clarity from the external AND internal responses and reactions. It has been nothing but positive even when it hurt. There are tons of lessons to be learned from taking a different course of action. My learning may not be like anyone else’s I cam guarantee tho, you won’t put this book down empty handed.
Read
December 26, 2020Getting over a break up
A essential read to help people get over the heartbreak of a relationship. It helped me realise I was settling for less than I am worth.
A essential read to help people get over the heartbreak of a relationship. It helped me realise I was settling for less than I am worth.
February 3, 2016
LOVE this book. I got hooked reading the free sample of this no nonsense, slightly more than common sense book. Only after I started reading did I realize Miss Lue is not a trained therapist or doctor of anything psychological. But the way she encourages people who may be struggling after a break up (struggling to move on, that is) had me buying her book anyway.
Think of Lue as one part Life coach, one part BTDT (been there, done that) who happens to have really learned her lesson and has a magical way of imparting that lesson to others who come after her.
Even if you already know what to do, this is a good reminder for those who maybe have slipped a bit in their “breaking” with their exes, and who therefore, are finding themselves stymied in their efforts to heal and move on.
Lue’s NO CONTACT RULE is an easy read, full of wisdom for the broken hearted. Highly recommend.
Think of Lue as one part Life coach, one part BTDT (been there, done that) who happens to have really learned her lesson and has a magical way of imparting that lesson to others who come after her.
Even if you already know what to do, this is a good reminder for those who maybe have slipped a bit in their “breaking” with their exes, and who therefore, are finding themselves stymied in their efforts to heal and move on.
Lue’s NO CONTACT RULE is an easy read, full of wisdom for the broken hearted. Highly recommend.
February 4, 2019
In a nutshell, if someone is making your life tough, manipulating you, and you keep getting sucked back in this book is for you. Basically, do not call, text, have as a friend on social media, reply to their messages at all. The exception is if you share children together and then only talk about your children, nothing else. Set up boundaries. I found this book a little harsh, but then again maybe that's why it was written for me and I picked it up because I think we can be friends but the reality is we were not there yet. If you think you may need this book, you probably do.
May 10, 2019
This book offers very solid advice with concrete steps on what you can do after a heartbreak. Just like in her earlier book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, and her blog and podcast, Baggage Reclaim, Natalie gives tough love but you know you have to listen to her. It's for your own good.
May 14, 2017
It is not game-playing or manipulating, it is a way to teach yourself how to set a healthy boundary.
It's a necessary read for those who has doubt whether their no contact action is truly needed.
It's a necessary read for those who has doubt whether their no contact action is truly needed.
June 21, 2018
This was the book that changed how I related to ex and set me free.
July 11, 2019
Good points. Bad writing
August 12, 2023
Super boring.... All its content could be summarised in maximum 10 pages...the rest doesn't make sense.
January 31, 2020
Just what I needed. Don’t stay in relationships especially when they think they’ve done no wrong. You both have and that’s why things end. Don’t try to fix it. I forgave but someone is still bitter and thinks they did no wrong. Yelling at me, withholding things from me, etc. is wrong. I never got closure, but you just move on. It’s not worth it. Period. I forgave me. I forgave the person. I tried to get questions answered. I tried to get things back the divorce papers said I should get back, but it was all allegedly thrown away. Karma is a bitch. But I won’t be around to see it. I just don’t care anymore. Don’t let them or feeling of them pull you back in to a emotional abusive life.
November 29, 2021
Its something we all should read post break up I think, sometimes when we deal with narcissistic people they brain wash you to think a certain way and this No Control Rule is the only way to go.
It makes you realize how much you should put yourself on top of your priority list and how much better you deserve I life than another persons negative bad behavior.
It makes you realize how much you should put yourself on top of your priority list and how much better you deserve I life than another persons negative bad behavior.
December 23, 2023
unbelievably helpful after a soul crushing relationship
I used this actually to help with a platonic best friendship that ended extremely painfully. The author does an amazing job pointing out important aspects that I was too close to see. The advice and counsel was very valuable. I feel like I am now able to end my nightmare.
I used this actually to help with a platonic best friendship that ended extremely painfully. The author does an amazing job pointing out important aspects that I was too close to see. The advice and counsel was very valuable. I feel like I am now able to end my nightmare.
September 19, 2024
Finished this about a month ago and I’m still going strong with the no (or unfortunately ‘low’) contact rule. It does get easier the more time passes. The book itself is very informative with Natalie drawing from her own personal experiences. I have and am planning to continue to listen to her blogs/blogs on her website 👍
August 1, 2017
There are some good concepts but there are points things felt redundant.
May 22, 2022
It was extremely useful for my personal circumstances. The book gave words to a lot of my thoughts, laid down the consequences of different decision trees.
August 5, 2023
The best breakup book ever written
October 17, 2020
I listened to the audio book instead of reading it and loved that I did. Natalie Lue narrates it herself and I appreciate when authors narrate their own writing specifically in autobiographies and self improvement books. Feels more real. If you’re a fan of Natalie’s podcast and are going through a rough time leaving a difficult/unhealthy relationship I HIGHLY recommend giving this a listen!
October 10, 2017
Can't really remember when I read it. In bits and pieces that's why take so long to finish. Worth reading after stopping unhealthy relationship. Makes sense, helps keep one on track. Was halfway thru book and didn't really need it after that. But wanted to persist on and finish.
June 21, 2015
Love this
August 6, 2015
grenser, integritet og verdighet. Elsk deg først<3
March 31, 2017
this book was insightful and informative it provided some good techniques to use and explanations as to why no contact is so important.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews