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44 Horrible Dates
"This book is a hilarious romp of true life (unfortunately). Read it and prepare for your next date."—James Van Praagh, New York Times bestselling author, Talking to Heaven
"Every story is the truth and every truthful moment is a hilarious journey! It's as if you're listening to your best friend at a coffee shop and watching a stand—up take command of the stage. You won't be disappointed as you travel this refreshingly funny road of 'horrible dates!'"—Debra Wilson, actress/comedian, MADtv
"Eddie's book is an emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from one horrible date and wondered, What the hell was that? This book is laugh–out–loud hilarious and extremely well written."—Chad Allen, writer, producer, actor, activist
What I have to tell you in this book will seem almost unreal. But you are going to have to keep reminding yourself that these are actual real dates.
For everyone who can empathize and knows what it's like to be on at lease one crappy date, this book is for you. For everyone who wants that dinner back or sat through a boring, horrible movie only to determine that the person you were with was a complete and utter tsunami, this book is for you.For everyone else, buckle your seat belt and turn off your phone, because a massive car wreck is about to begin.
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2012
13 people are currently reading
76 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
January 17, 2013
Thank you all very much for the reviews. I respect everyone's opinions as long as they are not cruel. It's ok to be constructive - before I was an author I never gave a harsh review in my life. Life is too short. Be great and great things come to you. Look for the positive in everything. I had to give myself a review in order to write to you. I gave myself 5 stars because writing a book is very difficult and getting published is even more difficult. For those of you who want to become authors DONT GIVE UP. I am not the other EC from Scotland, he is a graphic novelist mostly and his work is phenomenal. I am trying to fix my author bio with Goodreads so bare with us. I am grateful for everyone who has bought my book and laughed. My book is dedicated to you - the reader! I think laughter is one of the most important things in life.
April 14, 2012
Have you ever been on a date so horrible, that you said to yourself…“Seriously? This can’t be happening right now?” Try multiplying that date times 44. Eddie Campbell, author of “44 Horrible Dates,” has been on some of the most unbelievable and unforgettable, not to mention hilarious dates known to man. Eddie’s outrageous outings range from the guy who immediately farted upon entering his car to the guy who drove him to a fast-food burger joint (Eddie is a vegetarian) before admitting he was high on cocaine. In spite of his dating life, Eddie has had major success in Television in Art Direction/Art Departments for hit TV series such as; Dawson’s Creek, The Division, Ghost Whisperer, The Closer, Madtv, Parenthood, and is currently working on several projects for Days of our Lives.
Eddie has been on more terrible dates than entire villages. Now, for our amusement, our intrepid dater relates 44 of his most hilarious, unbelievable dates, ranging from the guy who immediately farted upon entering his car to the guy who drove him to a fast-food burger joint (Eddie is a vegetarian) before admitting he was high on cocaine. Told in a snarky, R-rated style similar to Chelsea Handler, Eddie's stories will make any person realize that no matter how bad their dating life is, they don't have it as bad as he does!
Eddie has been on more terrible dates than entire villages. Now, for our amusement, our intrepid dater relates 44 of his most hilarious, unbelievable dates, ranging from the guy who immediately farted upon entering his car to the guy who drove him to a fast-food burger joint (Eddie is a vegetarian) before admitting he was high on cocaine. Told in a snarky, R-rated style similar to Chelsea Handler, Eddie's stories will make any person realize that no matter how bad their dating life is, they don't have it as bad as he does!
August 21, 2012
Just as the title spells out, this book is about 44 horrible dates. Each story is short enough that even a cat with attention deficit disorder can complete a story before getting the urge to “play the violin”. For those of you who don’t own, nor have ever seen a cat “playing the violin”, it’s when a cat lifts own leg up over its head up in the air while keeping the other leg down, and licks its private parts for hygiene. Gross, I know, but some men just love their pussy.
Each short story is a chapter and is titled with the date’s name. At the end of the 2 or 4 page long chapter, the horrible date perpetrator is assigned a witty “A.K.A.”. For example, the first story involves a gentleman named Tim who the author fell quickly enamored with. His infatuation fell short lived due to his beaus’ gastric-winded interruptions throughout the date. The date came and gone like a short gust of wind and the author cleverly nicknamed Tim, “inflatulation”.
The general locale of the horrible dates is and around Los Angeles. Localites would probably relate to the authors general opinions of the bars, clubs, and restaurants he mentions—Oil Can Harry’s, Roosterfish, Gauntlet (now The Eagle), WeHo, etc.
Some have described this book a “hilarious romp of true life”, while others describe it as an “emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from a horrible date”, but just prefer file the book under, “disaster dates and the snarky queen”. And I say “snarky queen,” only because that is the image my brain involuntarily conjures in my pedantic mind when the stories seem to cross the delicate line of witty back-handed bitchy humor to just plain mean queen territory. And yes dear author Eddie, I took the un-pusillanimous route like you and spoke my mind. Should I “LOL” that? Oh, I just did. Dastardly!
While I enjoyed this book, as far as I can remember—what can I say, I was vacationing in Palms Springs, sprawled out in the sun whilst some scantily clad boy poured my libations heavy. I wouldn’t recommend reading it in its entirety in one sitting. It’s a coffee table book, or a beach book. Better yet, a pool book in Palm Springs while the drinks are poured heavily. –Excuse me, I digress. Read a chapter or two and get a laugh, and when you are done with the entire book, pass it forward to someone who will do the same.
Each short story is a chapter and is titled with the date’s name. At the end of the 2 or 4 page long chapter, the horrible date perpetrator is assigned a witty “A.K.A.”. For example, the first story involves a gentleman named Tim who the author fell quickly enamored with. His infatuation fell short lived due to his beaus’ gastric-winded interruptions throughout the date. The date came and gone like a short gust of wind and the author cleverly nicknamed Tim, “inflatulation”.
The general locale of the horrible dates is and around Los Angeles. Localites would probably relate to the authors general opinions of the bars, clubs, and restaurants he mentions—Oil Can Harry’s, Roosterfish, Gauntlet (now The Eagle), WeHo, etc.
Some have described this book a “hilarious romp of true life”, while others describe it as an “emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from a horrible date”, but just prefer file the book under, “disaster dates and the snarky queen”. And I say “snarky queen,” only because that is the image my brain involuntarily conjures in my pedantic mind when the stories seem to cross the delicate line of witty back-handed bitchy humor to just plain mean queen territory. And yes dear author Eddie, I took the un-pusillanimous route like you and spoke my mind. Should I “LOL” that? Oh, I just did. Dastardly!
While I enjoyed this book, as far as I can remember—what can I say, I was vacationing in Palms Springs, sprawled out in the sun whilst some scantily clad boy poured my libations heavy. I wouldn’t recommend reading it in its entirety in one sitting. It’s a coffee table book, or a beach book. Better yet, a pool book in Palm Springs while the drinks are poured heavily. –Excuse me, I digress. Read a chapter or two and get a laugh, and when you are done with the entire book, pass it forward to someone who will do the same.
July 11, 2012
This book is hilarious. Being a gay man myself, I can totally relate to some of these horrible dates and the situations that Eddie is put in. Eddie writes with such a clear and strong voice, and he uses humour effectively. I recommend this book to straight people, members of the LGBT community, and anyone who has been on a date. Period.
July 26, 2012
One of my favorite parts of the book, "God where were you that day? Where you to busy hooking up straight people? That's rude."
I can't believe I couldn't stop laughing. Haha...
I can't believe I couldn't stop laughing. Haha...
June 5, 2013
Fact Number One: This book made me laugh out loud in parts. The author really HAS been on some horrible dates.
Fact Number Two: Eddie Campbell seems to be quite comfortable in his skin, relaying some pretty embarrassing moments, not to mention intimate.
Fact Number Three: I am pretty sure I was about eight dates in before I realized the author was a man.
Fact Number Four: I am pretty sure I should pay more attention to things.
Fact Number Two: Eddie Campbell seems to be quite comfortable in his skin, relaying some pretty embarrassing moments, not to mention intimate.
Fact Number Three: I am pretty sure I was about eight dates in before I realized the author was a man.
Fact Number Four: I am pretty sure I should pay more attention to things.
September 27, 2017
I read this book and finished it. There are bad books that I have walked away from, like a bad date, and those who I've stuck around and finished, like a trainwreck kind of date. I wasn't enjoying the trainwreck, but the reading was breezy enough to possibly just fly away. There's not a lot of introspection or weight and after some slight transgressions from a suitor, it started to feel that there needed to be self-examination on behalf of the author.
I say that because I could see part of myself in the book back when I was in my 20s. Finicky, fussy, and now extremely cringe-worthy. There's a hubris that goes seemingly unchecked with its unspoken expectations for anyone unfortunate enough to cross the author's path. Some are understandable, but most aren't. The author shifts over to anti-hero and it's hard to find sympathy for them.
That said, I finished the book. I can't give a book that I chose to keep reading a 1 star rating. But I won't sign up for the predictable sequel.
I say that because I could see part of myself in the book back when I was in my 20s. Finicky, fussy, and now extremely cringe-worthy. There's a hubris that goes seemingly unchecked with its unspoken expectations for anyone unfortunate enough to cross the author's path. Some are understandable, but most aren't. The author shifts over to anti-hero and it's hard to find sympathy for them.
That said, I finished the book. I can't give a book that I chose to keep reading a 1 star rating. But I won't sign up for the predictable sequel.
January 4, 2019
The premise grabbed me, I mean, who hasn’t been on horrible dates? I also have some very funny and outrageous “war stories” from when I was single and dating. So I was ready to laugh when I picked this up.
However, it was funny at first, but then it just got sad. really sad. and I stopped laughing. It made me sad for the author and his terrible experiences, and also made me sad to see that so many idiots and douchebags live among us.
There needs to be a required courses for every single person on how to be a decent person. There are school courses on every subject under the sun - except human decency. (Also on how to write a check; it’s shocking how many people don’t know how to do this.)
However, it was funny at first, but then it just got sad. really sad. and I stopped laughing. It made me sad for the author and his terrible experiences, and also made me sad to see that so many idiots and douchebags live among us.
There needs to be a required courses for every single person on how to be a decent person. There are school courses on every subject under the sun - except human decency. (Also on how to write a check; it’s shocking how many people don’t know how to do this.)
September 10, 2022
These are mildly amusing real life stories of the bad habits, behaviors and just plain gross nature of the author's dates over the years. The author must have been on many many dates to come up with 44 horrible ones (read promiscuous). To be clear, these are dates between two gay men and may not be that relatable to those who are not gay. There is some repetition with the stories. Author is excited about the date with someone who is attractive. Something early on in the date turns him off. He then can think of nothing else except ending it and never talking to the person again. Perhaps the author need to adjust his expectations. It is, however, an eye opening portrayal of just how badly behaved people can be and may get a laugh.
August 31, 2017
This book either had me laughing hysterically or cringing in horror. It was awesome. Well, not that these dates happened (obviously bad dates are horrible, heh) but this shit happens to everyone and it was out of this world to read about; at one point literally.
January 12, 2020
The author was clever enough to the right the book in short story format. The book flows and moves and is actually very funny. I enjoyed it from cover to end and I laughed out loud.
Eddie, I will date you and you’re hot!
Eddie, I will date you and you’re hot!
December 19, 2018
Collection of short dating stories. I liked it a lot, even though stories were a bit gay ;-)
November 18, 2019
A fun, quick read! Funny, unexpected anecdotes about dating disasters, from a realistic yet hopeless romantic. And just slightly dirty, to keep things interesting.
April 10, 2013
Without a doubt this is the stuff that needs to be turned into a feature film, because this I would pay money to see this on the screen! The writing is fresh, and I mean that in every possible definition. The author takes no time to drop the "politeness" and shows the reader what it is like to be young, gay, beautiful, single, and he makes no apologies for any of it. You have to love that attitude, and you feel like you are on the dates from hell with him.. more real than most non-fiction books you will ever read, for me at least. More than a few of these "dates" seemed familiar and I am grateful I got out of that never ending "loser parade" years ago, but boy..did this bring back memories!
The writing is crisp, irreverent and direct. The humor is sharp and relatable...I give this about 756 stars out of 5..
SOMEBODY OPTION THIS FOR A FILM!
The writing is crisp, irreverent and direct. The humor is sharp and relatable...I give this about 756 stars out of 5..
SOMEBODY OPTION THIS FOR A FILM!
May 22, 2014
This book was indeed amazing. I laughed so hard, and I'm blaming it on you Mr. Campbell for making me discover some new muscles in my stomach. Ouch!!! Who knew one could be in pain from so much laughing?
I recommend this book to anyone and everyone because it's a light read and no matter what you go through at the moment, it will not fail to put a smile on your face. The narrator voice is funny, engaging and never ever dull.
Some of these dates were so over the top that if I didnt know better I'd say they were made up. The stinky dick and the reciprocated puking were hilarious!!! And yeah gross as well, but that's what makes it so much better :D
I look forward to reading more books by this author!
I recommend this book to anyone and everyone because it's a light read and no matter what you go through at the moment, it will not fail to put a smile on your face. The narrator voice is funny, engaging and never ever dull.
Some of these dates were so over the top that if I didnt know better I'd say they were made up. The stinky dick and the reciprocated puking were hilarious!!! And yeah gross as well, but that's what makes it so much better :D
I look forward to reading more books by this author!
January 17, 2013
Have you ever read something crazy good and laugh-out-loud-funny and felt the urge to share bits and pieces with whoever is unfortunate enough to cross your path? This book IS one of those and you WILL annoy everyone around you. Until finally, you say, "F... it!" and you buy a copy for everyone you love because it's just so good you need to share it - "MUST TALK ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE WHO K N O W S." Suddenly you are the one who discovered this gem. Bliss! Is it horrible then, that I gave it to my adolescent son to read? Nah, he thinks I'm super cool ("other moms would never do that") and we laughed out loud together. We are hooked and want more. Eddie - give us more!
Read
January 17, 2013If you want a good laugh from beginning to end, this is the book to read. I was on the plane from Palm Springs, CA back home to St. Louis as I started reading all about Eddie's Horrible Dates and there was a point that I laughed out loud and could not stop. The flight attendant came over to me to see what I was laughing at and if there was anything wrong. I had to explain to her and others around me what book I was reading which then she took interest and took the book out of my hand and started to read some of the Horrible Dates Eddie had went on which then she started to laugh uncontrollably as she sat in the isle way. This is one book I highly recommend if you want a good laugh!!!! =)
December 31, 2012
The author recounts his hilarious & often strange encounters in the L.A. gay dating scene. Each chapter left me both rolling in laughter & feeling awful for his ordeals on these dates. This book was so great because I found myself identifying with several of these shocking stories. In some stories I found myself feeling sorry for person on the other side.I was also glad that he touched on dating in the present day & the advent of mobile & online meet-up applications. I recommend this to everyone that has been on a truly horrible date.
January 17, 2013
A friend suggested I read this book, although I don't usually seek out this genre for reading material, so I did. Boy am I glad. I LOVED it! Almost immediately after picking it up, I realized I was in for a hilarious and extremely enjoyable ride. Anybody looking for a quick pick-me-up by getting one uncontrollable smile after another should get this book. You will likely read these smart short stories again and again, only to find they bring you a chuckle each time. That's what happened to me. What a pleasant surprise!
June 9, 2014
Very quick fun read! I didn't realize these were gay dates but it really doesn't matter because we can all relate to bad dates. This is a great book to read at the pool or beach because the chapters average a page long so you don't need a lot of concentration. I definitely have a couple bad dates to share with this guy!
January 17, 2013
This book is offensively funny, has a great flow, short chapters, easy to read i could not put it down. Eddie Campbell you see the world through really funny eyes. And through all the humor you have a big heart and leave the book with some really great messages about life. I ADORE YOU !
February 18, 2013
I like this book because it is easy to move from one story to another. Short and simple.
However, that said, some of the so-called dates were not really qualified to be considered as dates. And some were not that horrible. I thought Danny was a good catch. And a few of them were alright.
However, that said, some of the so-called dates were not really qualified to be considered as dates. And some were not that horrible. I thought Danny was a good catch. And a few of them were alright.
December 7, 2013
I am so glad that I saw this book on Beth's Goodreads feed and decided to read it, because it was hilarious! It maybe wasn't so good an idea to read it on the bus though, since it was difficult to contain my laughter at the slightly ridiculous dating stories of the author.
March 30, 2013
Some of these dates sound pretty horrible, but sometimes Eddie is also kind of rotten to guys who simply failed to live up to his many rules. I stopped reading once I started to feel sorry for them.
October 16, 2012
A book that can make you laugh out loud!! Need a quick pick-me-up? Here it is . . . 44 Horrible Dates by Eddie Campbell.
March 18, 2014
So funny! I loved this book!
June 27, 2014
I wanted to like this book. The concept was great. Sadly I couldn't finish it.
July 27, 2014
Crap.
February 11, 2016
A narcissistic book about all the things that went wrong with 44 of this gay man's dates. Trash.
tried-it-and-gave-up
September 19, 2016In the very first of the 44 sections, neither author nor editor realized the word being used is spelled "faze" and not "phase." I didn't stick around to find more errors.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews