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After The Darkness #1
After The Darkness: Episode One
Even in a world of never-ending winters and permanent darkness, fourteen-year-old Nadia Comani has everything she could ever want: power, privilege, a loving family and most importantly warmth. But her family’s refusal to compromise their values changes everything. Nadia is cast down from her pedestal of power onto the trash heap of the lower classes. No longer guaranteed a life of ease, Nadia faces a future of servitude. Branded as powerless and deviant, will Nadia muster the strength to save herself and what remains of her family?
40 pages, ebook
First published April 2, 2012
12 people are currently reading
107 people want to read
About the author
SunHi Mistwalker
11 books14 followersAuthor of dystopian and post-apocalyptic fiction. Mistwalker enjoys writing books about how societal collapse can change individuals and families. She specifically explores class, economics, environmentalism and state sponsored oppression within post-apocalyptic and dystopian futures.
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May 18, 2014
Feels Incomplete
(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic copy of this book for review through Library Thing's Member Giveaways program.)
I'm not quite sure how to review After The Darkness: Episode One. The first piece in a serial, Episode One feels very much like the opening two chapters of a larger book. Which it is, in a way. Unlike other serials I've read, though (and I admit that my experience here is limited; heck, I sometimes avoid reading duologies and trilogies until all the novels in the series are released!), Episode One doesn't stand on its own; the story here feels incomplete, and the world-building, in need of further exploration.
Episode One opens with the kidnapping of 14-year-old Nadia and her younger sister Mila, seemingly for sale to slavers by mercenaries (or are they law enforcement officers?) Percy and Thomas. Nadia ends up at a Calcane City girls' "hostel," where she's forced to compete with hundreds of other enslaved girls for tokens - and the entertainment of the elite, including her own kidnappers. We do not know what becomes of Mila, who wasn't part of the contract, but simply found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's hinted that Nadia and Mila used to be part of the ruling class themselves - the term "level five" is bandied about - until their parents were betrayed by their compatriots. We're not given any indication of her parents' whereabouts, nor of how the girls have managed to care for themselves in the harsh, frozen landscape of Calcane City.
The premise is somewhat interesting, though I'm not sure it's enough to compel me to pick up Episode Two. That's the problem with serials - the format makes it way too easy to quit, especially if the author fails to hook you early on. I know so little about the story that I don't feel particularly invested in it.
Plot aside, a few brief exchanges managed to turn me off altogether. For example, Percy doesn't particularly care for his job, which apparently involves kidnapping "delinquents" and occasionally selling them for profit. He blames his wife Claudia for his icky feelings, rather than the social institutions that allow this oppression, or himself for engaging in it: "But still she is supposed to be the better half and in Percy's eyes she has failed in her obligation to take the moral high road." (This is why placing women on pedestals is a BAD THING: when we inevitably fall, we have a longer, more painful drop than the menfolk.) This bit of misogyny is all the more troubling considering it comes from someone who's shaping up to be a "good guy" in the story.
Percy also engages in a nasty bit of fat shaming: Claudia counts Percy's earnings "licking her lips like a fat kid counting her slices of cake." Because all fat kids gorge on junk food, and skinny kids only eat carrots.
In summary: Claudia is greedy and evil and a shameless social climber who is ultimately to blame for all of her husband's immoral deeds. Because, you know, women secretly rule the world with their vaginas. Or something.
The Smashwords edition of the book contains a few editing errors, as well as an overuse of adjectives and overly long sentences that prove distracting. E.g.: "She playfully pouts at him, 'But I wait for you,' the eight-year-old whines as her father leans over and kisses her forehead, 'I waited for you, waited sweetie, not wait,' he smiles gently."
http://www.easyvegan.info/2014/05/28/...
(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic copy of this book for review through Library Thing's Member Giveaways program.)
I'm not quite sure how to review After The Darkness: Episode One. The first piece in a serial, Episode One feels very much like the opening two chapters of a larger book. Which it is, in a way. Unlike other serials I've read, though (and I admit that my experience here is limited; heck, I sometimes avoid reading duologies and trilogies until all the novels in the series are released!), Episode One doesn't stand on its own; the story here feels incomplete, and the world-building, in need of further exploration.
Episode One opens with the kidnapping of 14-year-old Nadia and her younger sister Mila, seemingly for sale to slavers by mercenaries (or are they law enforcement officers?) Percy and Thomas. Nadia ends up at a Calcane City girls' "hostel," where she's forced to compete with hundreds of other enslaved girls for tokens - and the entertainment of the elite, including her own kidnappers. We do not know what becomes of Mila, who wasn't part of the contract, but simply found herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's hinted that Nadia and Mila used to be part of the ruling class themselves - the term "level five" is bandied about - until their parents were betrayed by their compatriots. We're not given any indication of her parents' whereabouts, nor of how the girls have managed to care for themselves in the harsh, frozen landscape of Calcane City.
The premise is somewhat interesting, though I'm not sure it's enough to compel me to pick up Episode Two. That's the problem with serials - the format makes it way too easy to quit, especially if the author fails to hook you early on. I know so little about the story that I don't feel particularly invested in it.
Plot aside, a few brief exchanges managed to turn me off altogether. For example, Percy doesn't particularly care for his job, which apparently involves kidnapping "delinquents" and occasionally selling them for profit. He blames his wife Claudia for his icky feelings, rather than the social institutions that allow this oppression, or himself for engaging in it: "But still she is supposed to be the better half and in Percy's eyes she has failed in her obligation to take the moral high road." (This is why placing women on pedestals is a BAD THING: when we inevitably fall, we have a longer, more painful drop than the menfolk.) This bit of misogyny is all the more troubling considering it comes from someone who's shaping up to be a "good guy" in the story.
Percy also engages in a nasty bit of fat shaming: Claudia counts Percy's earnings "licking her lips like a fat kid counting her slices of cake." Because all fat kids gorge on junk food, and skinny kids only eat carrots.
In summary: Claudia is greedy and evil and a shameless social climber who is ultimately to blame for all of her husband's immoral deeds. Because, you know, women secretly rule the world with their vaginas. Or something.
The Smashwords edition of the book contains a few editing errors, as well as an overuse of adjectives and overly long sentences that prove distracting. E.g.: "She playfully pouts at him, 'But I wait for you,' the eight-year-old whines as her father leans over and kisses her forehead, 'I waited for you, waited sweetie, not wait,' he smiles gently."
http://www.easyvegan.info/2014/05/28/...
June 23, 2013
1.5 stars.
After The Darkness: Episode One is the first instalment of a serialized novel by SunHi Mistwalker.
As I started reading this, what jumped out the most at me was how the author attempted to use language. I say attempted, because rather than coming off atmospheric and moody, it came off as overly pedantic and like Mistwalker made heavy use of the thesaurus. While this did let up a bit after the first 10 or so pages, it is still extremely persistent, so much so that it completely overshadowed the story that she was trying to create.
The story itself was alright, but it felt a little muddled due to the aforementioned word usage. It was slow to pick up, with not enough scene setting to allow the reader to really connect with the world.
Nadia's character is confused, she tries to sacrifice her sister to save herself, but then a few pages later, she's screaming for her sister and wanting to save her. It didn't feel true, like somebody confused by a situation, rather it felt like the author was confused while writing the story.
Not too much happens during this first episode, Nadia is hiding from something, some dudes come to nab her, and she ends up in some sort of strange Hunger Games-esque girl fight while the elite of society look down and toss tokens at them. Again, muddled, with not enough explanation, and way too much of the author trying to be clever.
If I could make one suggestion to the author, it would be to use your voice. The whole thing comes off like an art student trying to imitate Picasso.
I gave the story as much as 1.5 stars because of the potential. I may attempt the second episode, at 99¢ it hardly breaks the bank, and I’d so love to be proven wrong.
After The Darkness: Episode One is the first instalment of a serialized novel by SunHi Mistwalker.
As I started reading this, what jumped out the most at me was how the author attempted to use language. I say attempted, because rather than coming off atmospheric and moody, it came off as overly pedantic and like Mistwalker made heavy use of the thesaurus. While this did let up a bit after the first 10 or so pages, it is still extremely persistent, so much so that it completely overshadowed the story that she was trying to create.
The story itself was alright, but it felt a little muddled due to the aforementioned word usage. It was slow to pick up, with not enough scene setting to allow the reader to really connect with the world.
Nadia's character is confused, she tries to sacrifice her sister to save herself, but then a few pages later, she's screaming for her sister and wanting to save her. It didn't feel true, like somebody confused by a situation, rather it felt like the author was confused while writing the story.
Not too much happens during this first episode, Nadia is hiding from something, some dudes come to nab her, and she ends up in some sort of strange Hunger Games-esque girl fight while the elite of society look down and toss tokens at them. Again, muddled, with not enough explanation, and way too much of the author trying to be clever.
If I could make one suggestion to the author, it would be to use your voice. The whole thing comes off like an art student trying to imitate Picasso.
I gave the story as much as 1.5 stars because of the potential. I may attempt the second episode, at 99¢ it hardly breaks the bank, and I’d so love to be proven wrong.
February 3, 2013
The story start off with 2 little girls one is 14 and the other her sister.Nadia tell Milia to leave and hide under her bed but she said no they are there .Who is they? The men who kidnapped them are paid to get some young girls and then bring them to the lady in white.
They are paid good money and then they left, Nadia is brought into a room and then she groom and her hair is cut and then she is put in the room with some other girls and then take a bunk and then go to bed.
The lady in white bring the girl who are in different kind of robes and then the girl have to say a pledge to the sect and then they are line up and then each gown mean different things.
They are slave and had to do what the lady tell them they are to collect coins form the people who are at the party you see the man who kidnapped her and her sister is at the party and then see Nadia.
but were is the little one now one know yet you will love the way the book is well written and you will be glad to make it your book
They are paid good money and then they left, Nadia is brought into a room and then she groom and her hair is cut and then she is put in the room with some other girls and then take a bunk and then go to bed.
The lady in white bring the girl who are in different kind of robes and then the girl have to say a pledge to the sect and then they are line up and then each gown mean different things.
They are slave and had to do what the lady tell them they are to collect coins form the people who are at the party you see the man who kidnapped her and her sister is at the party and then see Nadia.
but were is the little one now one know yet you will love the way the book is well written and you will be glad to make it your book
March 20, 2013
In a new variation on an old theme, I received this book in a LibraryThing drawing as did the other 100 people who requested it.
This teaser novelette of 40 pages is the story of a dystopian future in which the rich and privileged have grown very rich and very privileged while the rest live out hard-scrabble lives at the bottom trying to stay alive.
The setting here is interesting though very much like a lot of other dystopian futures with large populations. The haves and the have-nots are at each other's throats as you'd expect. Sadly the editing here is very poor and the text is riddled with typos and errors. I don't think this even has the benefit of being able to say it's an advance copy. For such a short work I'm surprised the editing is so poor.
In summary, this tiny book has potential but needs cleaning up. It's also far too short to grab any serious interest as I'm ready to walk away and never think about it again. Many possibilities but none of them realized.
This teaser novelette of 40 pages is the story of a dystopian future in which the rich and privileged have grown very rich and very privileged while the rest live out hard-scrabble lives at the bottom trying to stay alive.
The setting here is interesting though very much like a lot of other dystopian futures with large populations. The haves and the have-nots are at each other's throats as you'd expect. Sadly the editing here is very poor and the text is riddled with typos and errors. I don't think this even has the benefit of being able to say it's an advance copy. For such a short work I'm surprised the editing is so poor.
In summary, this tiny book has potential but needs cleaning up. It's also far too short to grab any serious interest as I'm ready to walk away and never think about it again. Many possibilities but none of them realized.
April 10, 2013
This is a short dystopian novella that is fast paced and ends in a cliff hanger, as described. The book is hard to describe without really spoiling anything. The basic story is Nadia being separated from her sister and attempting to get out of her current situation so they can be reunited. It is set in the future of a privileged society and everyone else is scrapping to get their tiny piece of it. It doesn’t give a lot of back story so you don’t really know how she came to be in this situation or too much detail about the place that she currently is. It was fast paced and a quick read that keeps you coming back for more. I really enjoyed it. I was looking for a quick read and have been in a reading slump so this was a nice a spark to get me back reading. I have already read the second in the series and the story builds as you continue on. I bought the rest of the books in the series so I hope they continues to peak my interest
May 15, 2013
I received this book as part of a giveaway. As the first of an episodic novel, this book started off somewhat slowly. The first few pages were somewhat trying and overly descriptive, however the story picks up quickly after that as the author seems to get more comfortable.
We don't see any examples of Nadia's life of privilege in this first episode, instead we see what remains of her life come apart. The concept and plot are interesting so far. I am interested to keep reading the story but will most likely wait to see if the author publishes a collection of the episodes - personal preference as I dislike having a bunch of episodes clutter my library.
Debated 4 stars, would do 3.5 if I could for the heavy handed descriptions at the beginning and a handful of editing issues, but overall a good start.
We don't see any examples of Nadia's life of privilege in this first episode, instead we see what remains of her life come apart. The concept and plot are interesting so far. I am interested to keep reading the story but will most likely wait to see if the author publishes a collection of the episodes - personal preference as I dislike having a bunch of episodes clutter my library.
Debated 4 stars, would do 3.5 if I could for the heavy handed descriptions at the beginning and a handful of editing issues, but overall a good start.
October 22, 2012
This dystopian short short is descriptive to the point where the metaphors and imagery does slow the pacing of the story. I would recommend that you read this story without distractions and truly let yourself be absorbed by the world the author paints with her images. Not much is known about Nadia's "normal" life in the beginning of the story, as she is abducted along with her sister within the first couple of pages. The situation is bleak for Nadia and the people treat her more like a slave than a princess. For someone who enjoys "darker" stories, I enjoyed the beginning chapters of Nadia's tale. I did notice one missing word from a sentence (72%)- but besides that both the formatting and grammar are good. And as a warning, Episode One does end on a cliffhanger.
August 27, 2016
In this first episode a young woman and her are captured by picked up by the “Ministry of Retrieval:The Fallen and Errant Special Division. After their arrest the girls are separated.
I enjoyed this first episode but unfortunately feel like I came in after the movie had started. I would have liked to have had a back story providing details on how the world came to be this way and what exactly was considered to be a crime.
That being said, the book was intriguing. One girls struggle to survive in a strange environment kept my attention. And one of her captors seems to be having a crisis of conscience.
I received this book and the other books in the series for free in exchange for this honest review.
I enjoyed this first episode but unfortunately feel like I came in after the movie had started. I would have liked to have had a back story providing details on how the world came to be this way and what exactly was considered to be a crime.
That being said, the book was intriguing. One girls struggle to survive in a strange environment kept my attention. And one of her captors seems to be having a crisis of conscience.
I received this book and the other books in the series for free in exchange for this honest review.
June 11, 2013
Nadia Comani is cast down from a life of privilege and comfort to leading a life of servitude because her family stood up for what they believed in. In a world surrounded by permanent darkness and cold, warmth is something to be highly valued.
Even though I realize this is an episodic series, for being such a short first book the beginning started off relatively slow and descriptive. The plot and concept of the work is pretty interesting. I would recommend this book if you like post-apocalyptic stories.
Note: I received this book from LibraryThing member giveaways in exchange for an honest review.
Even though I realize this is an episodic series, for being such a short first book the beginning started off relatively slow and descriptive. The plot and concept of the work is pretty interesting. I would recommend this book if you like post-apocalyptic stories.
Note: I received this book from LibraryThing member giveaways in exchange for an honest review.
July 13, 2013
Calcane City is not a friendly place to live yet it's all fourteen year old Nadia's got. Nadia knows that any time soon they will be coming for her. Yet she doesn't have anywhere else to go either. Thomas Thumb and Percy Bright are sent out to retrieve dead or alive. Thomas isn't afraid of pocketing more money amongst other things. Percy doesn't want any part of this yet doesn't stop it either. Who would believe him any way. Percy's wife demands more and more which means collecting more and more debt. Where does Nadia end up? What is Thomas' role? When will it all stop? Your answers await you in After The Darkness:Episode One.
September 17, 2013
I remember the serials at the movies when i was a kid. Now, I have come across a written serial. I like that I don't have to wait a week for the next installment.
The author has created an entertaining story and character set that makes me want to quickly grab the next installment. I enjoy the characters and the future setting. I found myself wanting to jump ahead to see what happens.
Fortunately, I have four episodes in my ereader. Unfortunately, I don't know how many episodes there will be or how long it will be between each episode. I recommend that the reader ensure they have many episodes on hand since you will not want to wait for the next installment.
The author has created an entertaining story and character set that makes me want to quickly grab the next installment. I enjoy the characters and the future setting. I found myself wanting to jump ahead to see what happens.
Fortunately, I have four episodes in my ereader. Unfortunately, I don't know how many episodes there will be or how long it will be between each episode. I recommend that the reader ensure they have many episodes on hand since you will not want to wait for the next installment.
January 2, 2017
After the Darkness: Episode One by SunHi Mistwalker is a promising beginning to the After the Darkness serial.
Authorities have broken into the home of Nadia and her sister Mila to take them. Nadia is separated from her sister and sold by the corrupt officers. She is taken to an arena with many other girls on the Day of Service and told to collect as many tokens as possible. The girls fight each other in an attempt to collect them.
After the Darkness: Episode One starts off slowly, but I am looking forward to the other installments. It is too soon to make a recommendation.
Authorities have broken into the home of Nadia and her sister Mila to take them. Nadia is separated from her sister and sold by the corrupt officers. She is taken to an arena with many other girls on the Day of Service and told to collect as many tokens as possible. The girls fight each other in an attempt to collect them.
After the Darkness: Episode One starts off slowly, but I am looking forward to the other installments. It is too soon to make a recommendation.
May 16, 2013
After The Darkness: Episode One is a Sci-fi, futuristic story that is revolving around a new world. There is quite a bit of set up to figuring out this world and you can tell there is more going on that what is described. In this book you meet Nadia, who is captured. She must participate in a "game" that isn't' quite a game when your life hangs in the balance.
May 25, 2013
I feel like some explanation or background information is missing in this episode. Maybe more will be explained in future sections. This is a fast paced, thriller style of writing, but there should have been more development of the plot, setting, and characters before the action started. However, the style of writing is good (excluding some editing errors) and the cliffhanger is effective.
September 15, 2013
Calcane City is a harsh, dispirited place; it is also the setting for a tense and interesting start to what looks to be an engaging read. The idea of making a serial out of the story should keep readers coming back for more, I for one, will continue to read it as it kinda grabs you by the shirt tails and drags you
May 25, 2014
The first part of a serialized novel, "After the Darkness: Episode One" holds lots of promise for what appears to be a gritty, dystopian tale of a once privileged young girl who's cast down into the belly of the underclass. So far, the writing is spot on, and the character development moving along at pace.
I am interested.
I am interested.
August 25, 2013
I read this for the LT Member Giveaway. This first part of the serial has both very good and not so good elements. It definitely gets better as it gains momentum. It does sometimes feel like the author is trying to hard with the language but it's not too distracting.
April 18, 2013
I liked the story, I will be looking for the rest. But I would have liked to have the complete book instead of one episodes at a time.
August 5, 2014
I didn't realize I was only getting 40 pages to read. The story sounds too much like The Hunger Games. I do not intend to follow this story any further.
September 1, 2012
Rather interesting must sign up for newsletter in order to keep up with series
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