Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life

by Ryan K. Sallans

Second Son is a story that intimately explores the transition experience of Ryan Sallans, born Kimberly Ann Sallans. The reader is pulled through Ryan's transition from infant to child, child to body-obsessed teenage girl, teenage girl to eating-disordered young woman, female to male, daughter to son, and finally a beloved partner to a cherished fiance'. A unique lens on life and love.

Ryan candidly shares his struggle to find love and acceptance; a struggle that transcends through every layer of society. He nearly died from an extreme case of anorexia as an insecure female college student. The only thing that saved him was his inner spirit begging for a chance to live.
Second Son chronicles Ryan's battle with his family, his romantic partner, and his body. He unblinkingly focuses on the empowerment he achieved as he underwent gender reassignment surgeries and traces his evolution into manhood.
It took twenty-nine years for Ryan to find himself. The world is now ready for this intimate and honest autobiography that will educate and empower men and women around the globe. At a time when fighting to find oneself is popular, Ryan's story will resonate with people everywhere who are journeying to find their own destinies, love, and life.

Genres: Memoir, LGBT, Transgender, Nonfiction, Queer, Biography Memoir

227 pages, Paperback

First published April 4, 2012

Reviews

[Jadie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is one thing to be well-versed in the issues revolving around sexuality and gender identity. It is quite another thing to read a first-hand account of the deeply emotional, personal story of someone who identifies as (FTM) transgender. I had the pleasure of actually meeting Ryan Sallans, the author of this autobiographical work, at a conference I attended in Nebraska during the fall of 2012. At the conference, he had only scraped the surface of his story and when I stopped by later to chat and buy a signed copy of his book, he was pleasantly calm and collected. No stranger could ever guess the physical/emotional struggles this man endured.

Onto the book itself. As a longtime advocate of gender equality, with particular interest in the transgender community, this book brought emotional perspective to the facts and diagrams and advice (and even training!) I've offered to those seeking to be allies, or simply more informed citizens. There were parts of Sallans's history that I felt eerily mirrored my own. The desire to be just like my father, the discomfort in a feminine body, the struggle with weight and shape, even the internalized sexism (of which there is definitely quite a bit, though Sallans never outright mentions it). And of course there were parts that I could do nothing but read and understand as best I could, being a cisgender individual and thus unable to relate.

Sallans is an exceptional writer, to be sure - one who touches his audience. As a pretty emotionless reader, I felt my heart sinking when he described his struggles with his partner during and post transition (or at least, physical surgery), and I literally felt my body release its tension during the last few chapters when Sallans describes how he finally becomes in tune with his true identity.

Highly recommended, particularly for anyone interested in issues of gender and/or sexuality.

[Julian Pecenco · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a huge fan of FTM memoirs, and have read as many as I have been able to get my hands on. I pre-ordered Ryan's book and had to wait impatiently well after the release date to finally get it from Amazon, but then read it in about a day. It's a quick read, obviously, and suffers a little from the way in which it was organized. The first section seemed rather lackluster, but it improved after part one. Still, it's great to hear another guy's story. His candor about his eating disorder and its relation to his body dysphoria is especially valuable. It's another welcome addition to a small but growing genre.

[Matt Beams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Ryan at the Philly Trans Health Conference. He is just about as friendly as a person could be. This book isn't just about trans people it's about all of humanity.

[Sarah Bigham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful memoir about transition. Students have appreciated reading it in my Human Growth & Development class.

[Hillary]

Heartfelt and Touching

I really enjoyed this book. It has a conversational tone, and it feels like you are sitting with a close friend. I recommend this for anyone who enjoys a good life story.

[Larry James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good insight into the process of realization, family and romantic relationships, and the trials of transition. I was surprised how much i had in common with this much younger man. Will be picking up his later books.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading about Ryan's transition and his struggle to find his identity and acceptance was both enlightening and heartbreaking. As someone who loves a transgender person, it also gave me insight into their experiences and is helping me to be a better partner.

[Bentley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend for any trans man to read. I have felt alone in my experiences with the world, love life, and family but Ryan shared similar experiences that I had. I am every grateful that my girlfriend gave me this book to read.

[Candace · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the autobiography of a transman who goes from being an anorexic girl to a lesbian to a transman. It details Ryan's struggles with self-acceptance as well as with his family. It provides a fairly complete, end-to-end description of a complete medical transition.

[Ruth]

research purpose

[Vee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written, well paced. A great memoir from a voice we do not hear as often as we should.

[Elliott Andrews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Second Son was exactly the book I needed in exactly the moment I needed it. This book really gave me renewed hope for my own story at a time when I was questioning myself more and more.

[Doreen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am so impressed with this book. Ryan Sallans begins his life as a female named Kim. Kim is labeled a tomboy. Kim never identifies with her female self. Even when her father calls Kim 'princess' it's more a slander than a term of endearment to her ears. Kim is the child who wants to BE Superman, and there is no room in Superman's life for frills and dresses.

The book investigates Ryan's thoughts and experiences from childhood through adolescence, as a female. Ryan shares his revulsion toward his female self, a self with whom he never feels comfortable. Inevitably, Ryan develops an eating disorder, while trying to mold Kim's body into some self-imposed perfection. His female-to-male transition is inevitable because Ryan is a male long before his surgeries and testosterone injections. He is a man in his mind and in his heart. He was simply born in the wrong-sexed body.

Of course, Ryan's family, especially his parents, are forces in his life from which he is always hiding his true self, his true feelings, in fear of being unloved and rejected.

Without telling Ryan's story, (he tells it better than I ever could), just know that to read this book is to be granted a very personal look into the life of a bright, courageous, young man who succeeds in creating a true and honest life for himself. And in writing about it, he is able to help others in similar situations. His story grants those who are less informed regarding transgenders, a realistic, compassionate understanding of that community. Ryan inscribed the book he sent to me with, "Honor Your Truths". Oh, only if we all would live by that simple phrase!

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this story to be really inspiring. I did not know much about transgender issues until the author of this book, Ryan Sallans, came to speak at my school. I was able to talk to him in person and his story is very touching. I am giving his book three stars because the writing style was cheesy at times, with too many references to the smells/sounds, etc. at the beginning of each chapter. I don't like when an author puts too much description, it just seems like they are using strategies they learned in intro-writing classes. Other than that though, I found his description of his transition from female to male very well-written and explained. I think it is a worthwhile read for anyone who is interested in LGBTQ issues, and/or does not fully understand the trans* community.

[Brenna Matlock · Rating 5 out of 5]

utterly fantastic. not enough stars.

[Ang Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

"...honor your truths and never compromise your identity, desires, and dreams. The greatest thing you can do for yourself is to let go of the fear and what-ifs in relation to your identity. They exist to hold you back, and you'll find that once you push past them, there is no stopping you.

You don't need a cape to fly. All you need is faith in yourself."

[Christina Spriggle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard Ryan speak at a diversity conference and was really intrigued by his story! His book provided even more insights into the challenges he faced with being transgender! It's really an incredible story of bravery and persistence to transform his gender and align himself physically with how he sees himself mentally!!

[Bill]

The only thing more enjoyable than reading this book was to go to one of Ryan's reading and listen to him talk about the book. Thanks Ryan for a courageous book that will help people through some tough times.

[Bobbie C Thompson]

Had the pleasure of meeting this Author in 09/2012. Can't wait to find the time to read this book.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ryan makes it very easy to understand and relate to his experience as a transgender man, even if you are not trans yourself. His story is full of hope and strength, and I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in LGBTQ issues.
As a side note, I've met Ryan, and he is very kind and upstanding.