Le père constitue, pour la femme, la première expérience du masculin. Il procure à sa fille un modèle idéal qui va lui permettre de se situer par rapport aux hommes. Ce livre remarquable sur les relations père-fille, écrit dans la même perspective que le très beau livre de Guy Corneau, Père manquant, fils manqué, démontre que très souvent le père finir par transmettre à sa fille la blessure qu'il porte en lui-même et qui le rend incapable d'amour. Voilà qui expliquerait, selon l'auteur, la difficulté de bien des femmes d'être à l'aise dans leur vie affective, sociale et professionnelle. Linda Schierse Leonard s'appuie à la fois sur son expérience personnelle et intime de psychanalyste et sur l'étude de contes de fées, de romans et de films bien connus pour expliquer l'effet déterminant de l'attitude des pères sur le comportement de leur fille. Un livre capital pour les femmes qui veulent guérir cette blessure fondamentale et vivre pleinement.
Linda Schierse Leonard, PhD, is a philosopher who trained as a Jungian analyst at the C.G. Jung Institute in Zurich. She is the author of many bestselling books, which have been translated into 12 languages.
Everyone with a soul (it's a symbolic choice, you decided whether or not you would like to grow the Soul illusion or not. I do) needs to read this. Everyone with a Mom needs to read this book. Everyone with a Dad needs to read this book. Everyone needs to read this book.
The key to ending misogyny in our generation is to understand ourselves. I'm a guy and learned everything I needed to know about my feminine/irrational better half from this book. I learned about my Sister's, my Mom's, my aunt's wounds .. and those of their spouses too.
We are ALL true victims of Misogyny, a 2500 year curse that is now undone, Godian Knot style.
Just read the book, and pass on to a friend. Or help explain it, translate it.
V is for Victory for Virtue. Wuhoo.
This review dedicated o Famous Kim. Here's a little secret .. from the moment you were born I realised my purpose was to make the world safe for you to Share your talents and powers without having to first conquer any rulers. I love you sooooooo much, it's unbelievable. mwa, D+A+d
p.s. Mother Earth is also wounded, the point of the re-evolution is to help her help us have super-cool Lives as Super-Sharers of SpaceshipEarth.
Written for woman to help them understand how their relationship to their father damaged them. I read it in the hope of being a better dad. Ask my chicklets in 20 years if it worked ...
I liked this book because unlike most Jungian psychology books, it spoke a little bit about society's effects on women and how that has wounded us, not just the people in our lives but the entire culture's response to the feminine. The book addressed many aspects of femininity in both their positive and negative sides, and was very helpful for women who have had negative relationships with their fathers. I learned a lot from it and appreciated it. I thought it gave examples that were concrete enough to be helpful but not so concrete as to be too specific and not easily applicable to other peoples' situations. It was well-written, and a quick read, and did not get bogged down too much in the myths, as some Jungian books do. I thought it was one of the better books on Jungian psychology and very applicable to women today.
It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you have with your father; this book is a must read for every woman out there who is on the journey of healing.
Two of my favorite quotes capture the essence of her work:
“The healing for women is not to be found in the quicksand of blame. The attitude of blame might lock us forever into the roles of passive prisoners, victims who have not assumed responsibility for our own lives.”
“The father-daughter wound is not only an event happening in the lives of individual women. It is a condition of our culture as well. Whenever there is a patriarchal authoritarian attitude which devalues the feminine by reducing it to a number of roles or qualities which come, not from woman’s own experience, but from an abstract view of her—there one finds the collective father overpowering the daughter, not allowing her to grow creatively from her own essence.”
I first picked up this book 2 years ago , hoping to better understand my relationship with my father. Back then, I found it somehow difficult and complex, so I stopped reading it. Returning to it recently with a new mindset and more self-awareness, I found it quite empowering.
What makes this book so impactful is that it speaks not only to our personal wounds, but to a collective, cultural one — reminding us that healing is possible, and that it begins with reclaiming our own feminine essence.
It feels like I re-read this book at just the right time. Leonard's analysis and insights into archetypes, coupled with my understanding of evolutionary astrology and those archetypal energies, have triggered a revitalized vision of how I and other women can "come together" to lead balanced, integrous, metamorphosing female lives. I loved her last chapter (the one that follows "Redeeming the Father"), "Finding the Feminine Spirit." This seems to be the way foward. So, for my next stop, I'll be reading Leonard's book, "Meeting the Madwoman: Empowering the Feminine Spirit -- Breaking Through Fear and Destructive Patterns to a Balanced and Creative Life."
Thought-provoking. Women access spirituality through movement and body awareness, so denying her body inhibits spiritual development. Women with a negiligent father often identify with the masculine they needed, and find they have to do it themselves. This protects them, helps them develop professionally and gives them a voice in the world, butseparates them from their own feminine feelings, alienates them from their creativity and relationships with men, and from the spontaneity of living in the moment. As girls learn to anticipate others' needs they also expect others to anticipate their needs as well.
Short read. A somewhat interesting perspective in healing the father-daughter relationship. Many references to examples of the masculine-feminine or father-daughter relationship like poetry, fairy tales, and movies. I found a few passages that resonated, although overall this book was too heady and not practical enough for my taste.
Good book to start researching on this subject. But I have an impression that it could be more deep and serious, less chaotic in analysis. Or is this just a clumsy translation into croatian?
книга состоит из сказок, мифов и анализов снов. для меня это совершенно не близко и подобный способ повествования также оказался далёким от привычного. очень много общей и лишней, на мой взгляд, информации. к сожалению, не нашла для себя в этой книге ни того, что искала, ни какой-либо другой полезной информации. дочитать до конца было очень сложно, поэтому после 70% я не читала, а скорее просматривала текст😅 как-то даже 1🌟 не ставится ..
Recommended by my therapist actually and I think I read it at the right time. The archetypes helped me realise how my estranged relationship with my dad impacted me now, especially since his passing. I think there were a lot of outdated references (I know this was written 40 years ago) that I skipped over as I couldn’t make sense of a lot of them. I think some more on to “appreciate” and “accept” who you are may have helped me as the reader.
It’s a good book to start with, but it can be more surface level than others. A lot of the book is based on others experiences, or fairytales, which can be good to make you begin to ask questions. But it doesn’t actually give any answers either.
I like that she comments on how society also impacts this - and how no one is to ‘blame’. Overall, it left me realising not to feel ‘guilt’ for the old dynamics (which is why I would recommend!), but just wish it went more in depth in how to deal with it now in the future instead of looking back to the past so much.
Segundo a autora, um dos papéis paternos é conduzir a filha do protegido ambiente materno e doméstico até o mundo exterior, ajudando-a a enfrentá-lo em seus conflitos. Sua atitude em relação ao trabalho e ao sucesso dará o tom da atitude da sua filha. Se for confiante e bem-sucedido, isso será transmitido a ela. Se tiver medo e não for bem sucedido, isso será transmitido a ela e é possível que ela adote a mesma atitude temerosa. Tradicionalmente, o pai ainda projeta os ideais para a filha. Funciona como modelo de autoridade, de responsabilidade, de tomada de decisões, de objetividade, de ordem e de disciplina. Interessante saber que é frequente haver certos pares num casamento. O pai que é um eterno menino tem, em geral, uma mãe como esposa. Nesses casos, é esta quem na maioria das vezes domina a casa e estipula a disciplina para a família. Através dela vêm os valores, a ordem, a autoridade e a estrutura que, normalmente, viriam do pai. Quando o pai é fraco e indigente e a mãe é forte e controladora, a filha tem um duplo problema. Não só o pai não consegue funcionar como modelo masculino, como não enfrenta a esposa nem ajuda a filha a se diferenciar dela. A filha talvez fique ligada à mãe e com ela se identifique. Se isso acontecer, é provável que inconscientemente adote as mesmas atitudes rígidas de sua mãe. O par contrastante é formado pelo velho rígido que tem uma garotinha como esposa. Nessa situação, tanto a mãe como a filha são dominadas, e a mãe, em sua dependência passiva, não fornece um modelo de autêntica independência feminina. Por conseguinte, a filha corre o risco de repetir o padrão de dependência feminina ou, caso se revolte, o fará como reação de defesa contra a autoridade do pai, e não como manipulação de seus valores e necessidades femininas próprias. Também é possível tanto ao pai como à mãe serem eternos jovens, quando então o mais comum é haver pouca estabilidade, estrutura ou autoridade em ambos os genitores. Nesses casos, o compromisso deles é normalmente tênue: o casamento e a família podem se dissolver, deixando a filha num estado de caos e ansiedade. Pode ser, por outro lado, que eles sejam rígidos e idosos e que governem com rédeas curtas. Nessa família, a filha será duplamente privada das fontes da espontaneidade e dos sentimentos. Creio ser este ultimo o meu caso. Mais um livro confirma a tese de que o ideal da beleza reduz o valor da mulher a uma mera projeção do desejo masculino e a coloca na posição infantil de dependência típica da menina. A obediência respeitosa a reduz ao status de serva do patrão masculino. Quando o masculino é desprovido de valores femininos, quando não permite ao princípio feminino manifestar-se a seu próprio modo, a partir de seu centro natural, o masculino se torna brutal e sacrifica não só a mulher exterior, mas também o lado feminino interior. O livro fala sobre quatro tipos de mulheres dependentes e submissas: a bonequinha queridinha, a menina de vidro, a despreocupada e a desajustada. O que se exige de uma mulher 'eterna menina' em seu processo de autotransformação é que renuncie a seu apego à dependência, à inocência e à impotência infantil para que aceite a força que já está dentro de si, ou seja, que realmente se valorize. Se ela aceitar sua força e poder, sua inocência de menina irá se manifestar como elã jovial e feminino, como vigor, como espontaneidade e abertura para novas experiências que possibilitem um relacionamento criativo e produtivo. Também cita mulheres que se identificam com a força e o poder masculino renunciando a própria feminilidade. Assim como acontece com as submissas, o livro classifica as 'poderosas' em quatro tipos: superstar, a filha conscienciosa, a mártir e a rainha guerreira. O principal de tais mulheres é o desejo de controlar. Junco com o controle, no entanto, costuma vir uma dose exagerada de responsabilidades, deveres e a sensação de exaustão. Essas mulheres precisam aprender a valorizar sua vulnerabilidade e os aspectos incontroláveis de sua existência para criar uma nova fonte de forças. Um novo aspecto da transformação é se libertar da ideia de que precisa ser como um homem para ter poder. Tornar-se forte dá o mesmo trabalho que tornar-se fraco. Por isso, o guerreiro não perde seu tempo com fraquezas, mas assume a responsabilidade por seus atos e vive de modo estratégico, atendo às sincronicidades e ao que é. O guerreiro não tem medo porque é guiado por um propósito inabalável, está em foco e alerta. Dessa forma, pode enfrentar todas as ameaças e os terrores. Firma-se em si e, ao mesmo tempo, entrega-se ao fluxo da vida imprevisível: esse é o estilo do guerreiro. Nessa medida, incorpora a integração do receptivo e do criativo, vivendo e amando os paradoxos da vida, equilibrando o terror e a maravilha de ser humano. Vale relembrar que nos sonhos as figuras masculinas são a representação interna do pai externo, enquanto as femininas provém da mãe (independente da aparência de idade dessas figuras). Há uma diversidade de figuras paternas, imagens do pai arquetípico dentro de nós. O mesmo ocorre com relação as figuras maternas. Os homens sempre definiram a feminilidade através de suas expectativas conscientes do que as mulheres podem ou não fazer e através de suas projeções inconscientes nela. Isso teve como resultado uma visão distorcida não só das mulheres, mas também do lado feminino interior nos homens. As mulheres precisam se tornar conscientes dessas definições e projeções, identificando aquelas que as definem e aquelas que não. Assim como os homens, nós mulheres também definimos a masculinidade através de nossas expectativas consciente de homens-príncipes-encantados ou pelas projeções inconscientes do pai interno irresponsável, sádico, infiel, admirável, etc. Quando as mulheres começarem a sentir confiança e a exprimir os valores de seu próprio modo de ser, serão capazes de curar o masculino, o qual, nelas, nos próprios homens e na cultura, está ferido por causa de seu precário relacionamento com o feminino. Um homem amoroso, comprometido e sensível valoriza o feminino nas mulheres e em si. Uma mulher independente, eficiente e confiante valoriza o masculino nos homens e em si. O desafio é ter e ser todas essas qualidades vivenciando a potencialidade de sermos andróginos.
I think this book could be helpful for everyone. It helped me understand something I couldn't quite figure out before. I can finally name the problem and start to heal. I've been thinking about this for the past 9 months of therapy and reading self-help books, but this book really hit the nail on the head.
Last night, I had a dream that I was talking to my therapist about this book. But instead of the book, I pulled out my shadow work journal and said, "Oops, I grabbed the wrong one." But then I realized that this was the book I wanted to talk about. I told him the title, and then my dream turned into a lucid dream. I saw swirling green light and a child's eye opening and closing. I think that represents my inner child, who's been locked up in my heart chakra. Then, I saw an image of myself wearing sunglasses (because the future is bright) and a horse galloping through the center. I think that's my path to freedom. I've finally named my wound, and now I know what I need to do to rescue my wounded inner child. Hallelujah!
Took me some time to read and metabolize… and I’ll be thinking on this one for awhile, yet. I recommend reading slowly as her writing can be dense and tackles big concepts quickly. I found myself sometimes wandering and/or overwhelmed after a couple page.
I think the best part of this book is that it was written from both a jungian and personal approach - and her acknowledgment of process and healing while writing it was helpful.
The last two chapters especially gave hope and purpose towards a lighter brighter approach to being a woman who can not just hurt about, but bring my own power to heal what has been broken in the wider context (by the systemic patriarchy) and personal context (my own father daughter relationship).
I read most of the parts of The Wounded Woman, but ended up skipping some. The approach felt too broad and abstract for me, it seemed more like a book written for therapists than for people trying to understand and heal their own emotional wounds. The symbolic language, dream analysis and mythological references didn’t resonate much with me. I was looking for something more tangible, more emotionally grounded. Even the end part which is supposed to be the healing part was hard for me to take anything practical from it.
Author divides women’s personalities in different types based on their relationships with their father. Everyone can find themselves in this or that pattern. I can’t say it is 100% helpful but it definitely helps being kinder to yourself. The book explains some strange behavior patterns and reading it you realize that it is not a problem in you, it’s just a problem and you decide whether you want it to solve or not.
This was a brilliant exploration of how women have been wounded through the patriarchal culture at large, as well as through their individual relationships with their fathers. Since she focuses on the culture as well as the individual, this is valuable even to women who have positive relationships with their fathers.
A must read to understand the masculine and feminine energues
Great book for those seeking to understand the balance of the mother and father relationship and how these energies work within us. The author has done a fantastic job, relating her healing process through this book.
Meaningful insights into the psyche and manifestations of the wounded feminine. I recommend this book to any women struggling with coming fully into herself and her power due to childhood wounding.
“The unsolved patriarchal rage against women could be reenacted by women who haven’t found their own way to value their femininity, and so, by imitating the masculine or adapting to it, they end up never being able to form femininity.”
(4.5) Insightful, helpful, but also slightly dated. Absolutely recommended, especially for women struggling to balance their masculine/feminine energies or for those who have unresolved issues with their fathers.
Si può non essere d'accordo sulla teoria psicanalitica junghiana e quindi non ha senso leggerlo in quell'ottica ma...comunque solleva una riflessione finale molto interessante per la dimensione femminile. Mi sentirei di consigliarlo a tutte le donne