What do you think?
Rate this book
Save the Marriage
Each year in America alone, nearly 1 million marriages end in divorce.
This is an incredible number!
That would be as if all the citizens of Houston Texas were divorced (each divorce leaves 2 people).
The question is how many of those marriages could be saved.
Unfortunately, that is an invisible number.
If your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics.
As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off.
Can your marriage be saved?
If I could answer that, I would be a wealthy man.
I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed.
If you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.
And I can tell you, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage.
You can start right now.
But you must understand that I said "simple."
That is not the same as "easy." These steps are not easy.
They do, however, give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.
Here are the 4 steps:
1) Quit the blame game.
Stop blaming your spouse and stop blaming yourself.
This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress.
Instead, the momentum gets dragged down and down.
Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly.
It is much easier to point the finger somewhere and say "It's their fault."
But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault."
Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any shift or change.
So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it.
Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together.
Blame is the fuel of divorces.
2) Take responsibility.
Decide you can do something.
Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change.
Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above).
Instead, blame is saying "regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them."
This is an incredible number!
That would be as if all the citizens of Houston Texas were divorced (each divorce leaves 2 people).
The question is how many of those marriages could be saved.
Unfortunately, that is an invisible number.
If your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics.
As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off.
Can your marriage be saved?
If I could answer that, I would be a wealthy man.
I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed.
If you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.
And I can tell you, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage.
You can start right now.
But you must understand that I said "simple."
That is not the same as "easy." These steps are not easy.
They do, however, give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.
Here are the 4 steps:
1) Quit the blame game.
Stop blaming your spouse and stop blaming yourself.
This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress.
Instead, the momentum gets dragged down and down.
Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly.
It is much easier to point the finger somewhere and say "It's their fault."
But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault."
Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any shift or change.
So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it.
Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together.
Blame is the fuel of divorces.
2) Take responsibility.
Decide you can do something.
Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change.
Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above).
Instead, blame is saying "regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them."
159 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2001
12 people are currently reading
102 people want to read
About the author
Lee H. Baucom
11 books6 followersFor the past 15 years, I've been answering the question, "Why am I here?" You and I, we both have a purpose. One that is bigger than whatever it is we are doing right now.
We are here to make a difference.
When I had a health crisis 15 years ago, I thought my time to make a difference was over. Gone. Before I was even 40 years old. I was fortunate. I recovered. And now, I am living in what I call "Bonus Time." The time I thought I wouldn't have.
Up until then, I was a therapist, doing my best to help people who came into my office. But I wasn't asking the question. I was doing my job.
Now I know that you and I, we only have a certain amount of time. We can spend that time without tapping into our purpose. Or we can find out what matters -- what really matters -- and we can do that.
My hope is that my writing unlocks a bigger life for you... a Thriving Life, full of meaning, purpose, significance, and IMPACT.
We are here to make a difference.
When I had a health crisis 15 years ago, I thought my time to make a difference was over. Gone. Before I was even 40 years old. I was fortunate. I recovered. And now, I am living in what I call "Bonus Time." The time I thought I wouldn't have.
Up until then, I was a therapist, doing my best to help people who came into my office. But I wasn't asking the question. I was doing my job.
Now I know that you and I, we only have a certain amount of time. We can spend that time without tapping into our purpose. Or we can find out what matters -- what really matters -- and we can do that.
My hope is that my writing unlocks a bigger life for you... a Thriving Life, full of meaning, purpose, significance, and IMPACT.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 21, 2023
I’m 41 years old woman and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage… …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…I purchased some advice book related to marriage including this Save The Marriage system.
This guide is the most sensible, real, self-help book of any kind that I have ever read. After reading, I have a whole new outlook on our marriage.
I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance.
My relationship with my husband has gotten so much better!
August 25, 2025
Save the Marriage program will teach you how to save your marriage and improve your relationship, stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship.
February 7, 2019
This book has easy quick practical steps to get your marriage better.
May 9, 2022
Complete and utter bullshit.
April 21, 2020
This is a fantastic book I found very helpful. It talks about many common mistakes, pitfalls, etc. but focuses on growth and how to achieve it. I wish there was more on dealing w/a midlife crisis but otherwise fantastic! Highly recommended. His podcasts are great too and go along w/the teachings in the book.
May 11, 2012
Absolute rubbish!! No help whatsoever.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews