Pushback: How Smart Women Ask--and Stand Up--for What They Want

by Selena Rezvani

Popular leadership blogger gives the low-down on standing up for yourself In Pushback , top leadership consultant Selena Rezvani argues that self-advocacy is critical to success. Yet women initiate negotiations four times less often than men, resulting in getting less of what they want―promotion opportunities, plum assignments, and higher pay. This book shines a light on the real rules of holding your own and pushing back for what is rightfully yours. Drawing on interviews with high-level leaders, Rezvani offers readers in the first half of their career the unedited truth about how women have asked their way to the top and triumphed―and how you can too. Insightful and accessible, Pushback is a timely resource for savvy women who want to leverage their skills, promote themselves effectively, and fast track their careers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Self Help, Leadership, Feminism, Professional Development, Womens

224 pages, Hardcover

First published March 26, 2012

About the author

Named by Forbes as “the premier expert on self-advocacy at work,” Selena Rezvani is on a mission to promote power-positive leadership—helping leaders use their influence to elevate, empower, and inspire others. She is the author of the bestselling books Quick Leadership and Quick Confidence, born out of a viral newsletter she started on LinkedIn. She also wrote the award-winning Pushback and The Next Generation of Women Leaders. Each year, Selena speaks to thousands of professionals and has been featured by TEDx, Harvard Business Review, Inc., TODAY.com, and NPR. She is currently a columnist for NBC News Know Your Value. Selena lives in Philadelphia with her husband, Geoff, and their 13-year-old boy-girl twins.

Reviews

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much of the information in this book I learned through Managing Up, Negotiation and Emotional Intelligence courses, however Pushback:How Smart Women Ask--Stand Up--For What They Want pulls it all together with interviews with women executives, psychological and executive research findings and practical methods to prepare for negotiations or difficult conversations.

This book is aimed to women who are interested in moving up in their career. Selena Rezvani, author and leadership blogger sums it up best, "If there’s one central theme that’s been woven throughout this book, it’s self-directed action. No one else is going to build those relationships for you, no one else is going to shape your personal brand, and certainly no one else will advocate on your behalf for what you truly want. Taking complete responsibility for the results we have today reminds us of the active role we play in our future and overall well-being." Read this book and and get started today! We need more women in leadership roles!

[Gabriella Hoffman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pushback has some great tips but it came off repetitive and stale at times. Not a fool proof strategy as women have different interests, experience levels, and work conditions. But if you’re just beginning your business career and looking to climb the ladder, this can help women advance their interests and negotiate on their terms. The author is absolutely correct that every successful woman has had her share of challenges in business — myself included!- so adversity can make you stronger and receiving rejections are motivators to excel better and prove your critics wrong.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for my company's Women in Leadership book club. Pushback is an excellent little book on how to ask for what you want in a professional setting. The first few chapters outline several reasons why women struggle to ask for what they want or deserve, and the remaining chapters focus on negotiating techniques and examples from female professionals with plenty of quotes and anecdotes thrown in. I especially appreciated how Rezvani highlighted that you need to advocate for yourself rather than waiting around for your boss to notice you or hoping that your hard work speaks for itself. Highly recommended to professional women.

[Melina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book on how to ask for what you want in a professional setting. The first few chapters help to set the stage on why women struggle to ask for what they want or deserve. The rest of the chapters focus on techniques and examples. I reread these chapters as I was preparing for job interviews and critical business negotiations.

I highly recommend this book to any female professional looking for guidance on this subject.

[Lucia Maranghello · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pushback gave me a fresh perspective on workplace negotiation. What really stood out was how the book feels like having a personal coach. Selena Rezvani doesn’t just offer advice; she encourages you to shift your mindset. The focus on pushing back and asking for what you deserve is empowering, especially in male-dominated work environments. Her writing style is straightforward and easy to follow, even if you're new to negotiation.
One area where I felt the book could improve is by offering more strategies for different industries. It seemed more focused on corporate settings, so as someone in a creative field, some of the advice didn’t fully apply. Still, the core principles are solid and adaptable.
I found Pushback to be an empowering read that gave me practical tools to be more assertive in my career. It’s a valuable resource for women at any stage of their professional journey.

[Sierra Stroner · Rating 2 out of 5]

This had a pretty rough start, and if I didn't feel like I HAD to read it for a book club, I would have given up in the first couple of chapters. This rough start for me was due to two big things. 1) A focus on Gen Xers as if this topic didn't matter to Millennials at all, even though the oldest Millennials were already 33-34 and in the middle of their careers when this was published. 2) A over-reliance on gender norms, which kind of acted like all women were affected by the exact same struggles. This was off-putting for me, as it made the book's premise feel much less applicable to me.

However, starting around the middle of chapter 3, the advice and examples started to get much more practical, and the mentions of how certain aspects affected women, were just that, small mentions. Overall, that made all of the material feel much more relatable to me, and I finally started to really get some great information from it.

Overall, if you really want to read a book on negotiation, this can be beneficial; you'll just might have to push through the first 2.5 chapters.

[Jaclyn Day · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read dozens and dozens of books on business, workplace behavior, advancing in the workplace, navigating the professional world as a woman, learning to be a productive working mother--and the list goes on. But none of them have come close to the searing, thought-provoking, and actionable content in this book.

I started dog-earing pages early and ended up folding over the corners of nearly every single page. There are constant gems: some you can use today, some you will use tomorrow, some you can pass along to someone else. Although the book was written for women, the content is applicable to anyone in the workplace. It's such an important book that I want to share it with my friends, family, and the people I work with. Unlike the good but lofty ideals of a Lean In-style book, or the sometimes self-important musings from productivity experts, this book was immediately and intensely empowering for me. It challenged my thinking almost from the first page.

[Leah Hortin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a pretty good book! I got it to help me for professional reasons - it focuses on negotiating in the workplace. A lot of it is common sense (and stuff I had already been doing) but it was good to reaffirm I was doing the correct thing. I also snagged some good lines and phrasing. It goes through everything from preparation to body language to different techniques (like the power of silence) all the way to the follow-up piece. I'll definitely refer to this in the future when I'm needing a little boost in confidence with a big ask.

[Word Owl · Rating 3 out of 5]

None of the information was exactly new or surprising, nevertheless it was a great, practical read. ...more

[Thrifty Geek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pushback by Selena Rezvani is the ultimate guide to negotiations. It is the call for women and other marginalized people to stand up and let their voices be heard in their jobs. This guide takes you through the process of how to effectively advocate for what you want: be it a raise, promotion, or trying to get an outdated policy changed. She guides those who may shy away from going for what they want because of who they are and what society traditions have instilled in them about doing so. With this guide you’ll be empowered to tackle any job, or life related conflicts.
Rezvani I find is the go to woman in the world of how to make it in business. I’ve had the privilege of reading her books before and she always is such a great source of information. She has sought out advice from experts in the field, her own mentors, and her own experiences to create this guide book. In usual fashion she gives tips for every kind of negotiator, because she understands we are all built differently. I found the book very informative especially concerning the inequality still plaguing the working world. She implores us to use these “pushback” skills to claim a slice of those male heavy spaces for our own. While the focus is on women, she does address other marginalized ethnicities and genders, telling them that this advice is also beneficial for them, I love seeing that acknowledged. She provides checklists, and questions for us to answer to help us hone our skills and prepare to speak up for ourselves. I appreciate that she offers encouragement to go after what you want because she understands it can be scary being a strong woman in situations where many frown upon it. I love the energy she brings. She’s upbeat, and comes off like a friend, but it’s not too over the top in peppiness.
While I found a lot of the advice helpful, I did at times find it could be overwhelming. I felt like too much information was hitting me at once in some paragraphs. I found my over filled brain going numb and just having a hard time retaining the information dump. Of course this could just be a me thing, because I do have a hard time processing a lot of data in one go. So this may not be a problem for everybody, but for those like me, we might have benefited from an even better breakdown of the information.
Rezvani has once more proven she is the best to turn to for business advice. If you find yourself scared to be your own self-advocate in the workplace, or life, because you believe pushing back to get what you want is not the profitable thing to do, I highly recommend this book. You will find empowerment to speak up and demand what you deserve. I give this a four.

[Steven Finkelstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, a leadership consultant talks about the importance of self-advocacy. She particularly feels that women need to do this for themselves in the workplace. However, she makes clear that in her opinion, this does not happen anywhere near as often as it should. She explains that the higher pay, plum assignments, and opportunities to advance are always there, but some women are too intimidated to reach for them. That is a pattern that the author would like to break. In this comprehensive lesson plan, she explains how to set aside the desire to wait passively for a break that might never come unless you make your voice heard.

Pushback, by Selena Rezvani, is a nonfiction book that fits into the self-help or career advice genres. The author has been doing leadership consulting for a long time. While she wants to help everyone, she finds it particularly frustrating that many of the women she has spoken to who have leadership potential seem willing to hide it away. In the author’s opinion, the desire to seem like a team player and to not rock the boat can hold some women back from stepping into more highly placed roles in companies that can use their expertise.

The book features fascinating interviews with many women who have reached the upper echelons of their industries. Many of them are able to speak with a great deal of alacrity about the specific moves they made to reach the heights they enjoy today. What they all seem to have in common is the ability to get past the desire to be passive and compliant that has shackled so many others like them.

This book is about having the tough conversation and stilling the voice inside that tries to tell you you’re not good enough. It’s inspirational, but it’s also approachable. The simple but effective psychological tactics Rezvani uses are not exactly subtle, but she’s certain they’re sound, as she has seen them work time and again. Readers who are willing to accept the gospel and take the actions she encourages might very well find themselves able to break through the proverbial glass ceiling that has kept them restrained.

[Gianfranco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply inspiring

Even though this book has a strong focus on women, I found it fantastic as a man because it serves as an inspiration for anyone seeking more voice, strength, and confidence to fight for what they deserve. It clearly explains how women have faced barriers in a workplace dominated by machismo and male-dominated systems yet offers hope and strategies for overcoming these challenges.
The most powerful aspect, in my view, is the inclusion of interviews with high-level female leaders who have battled these obstacles and still reached the top. Their stories are inspiring, showing how determination can help you stay focused on your goals, no matter how many setbacks or roadblocks you face along the way.
The book teaches that difficult conversations, setbacks, and closed doors are part of the journey to success, especially for women. Instead of being discouraged by these challenges, it’s a call to grow stronger and more resilient. The stories and advice pulled me in completely, as anyone in a professional environment can relate to the drive and motivation the book offers.
This is an incredibly well-done and inspiring book. It not only celebrates what women have achieved so far, but also encourages everyone to keep pushing forward. As a man, I was deeply motivated and impressed by the clarity and power of the author’s message. It's a strong reminder that persistence and resilience are key, regardless of the obstacles

[Rocio · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a woman serious about advancing your career, Pushback by Selena Rezvani is a must-read. What I loved most about this book is how it removes the fear from negotiation. I've always felt hesitant about asking for raises or promotions, but Rezvani breaks the process down in a way that feels approachable and manageable. It's all about pushing forward and staying focused on your goals.
Her advice is practical and insightful. The emphasis on preparation really stood out to me. Knowing your worth and being able to confidently communicate it is something I’ve struggled with, but this book offers clear steps to help with that. One key takeaway for me was how to present my accomplishments in a way that makes them undeniable—a simple but powerful concept I plan to put into practice.
I also appreciated how the book addresses the unique challenges women face in the workplace. Rezvani doesn’t shy away from the difficulties, but she provides tools to help overcome them. Her insights into bias and how to counter it felt especially relevant. In a world where women are often undervalued, this book is a strong reminder to stand up for ourselves.
While I wish there were more examples from different sectors, the core message is universal. Whether you're in a corporate role or another field, the lessons in Pushback can be adapted to fit your needs. It's a book I'll definitely be recommending to friends and colleagues.

[Mary Maciejewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rezvani’s book truly stands out. While some of the information can be found in other resources, her unique writing style and thorough research make it exceptional. The way she pulls together interviews with successful women, along with research findings, creates a well-rounded and practical guide for negotiating and tackling difficult conversations with confidence. Rezvani effectively helps women take control of their careers and push for the recognition and opportunities they deserve.

The opening chapters hit hard, explaining why so many women hesitate to ask for what they want or deserve. It felt all too relatable; the nerves, the fear of speaking out, and the way she breaks that down really makes you think about the unnecessary limits we put on ourselves. The rest of the book continues with strategies for negotiating and includes excellent examples from female experts. Rezvani also includes powerful excerpts and real-life accounts that reinforce her advice.

I would give Pushback a full five stars. It’s the kind of book that teaches women to advocate for themselves and not just wait for their boss or anyone else to recognize their contributions. It’s a book I’d recommend to every high school girl, as well as any woman in the workforce.

[Gianfranco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply inspiring

Even though this book has a strong focus on women, I found it fantastic as a man because it serves as an inspiration for anyone seeking more voice, strength, and confidence to fight for what they deserve. It clearly explains how women have faced barriers in a workplace dominated by machismo and male-dominated systems yet offers hope and strategies for overcoming these challenges.
The most powerful aspect, in my view, is the inclusion of interviews with high-level female leaders who have battled these obstacles and still reached the top. Their stories are inspiring, showing how determination can help you stay focused on your goals, no matter how many setbacks or roadblocks you face along the way.
The book teaches that difficult conversations, setbacks, and closed doors are part of the journey to success, especially for women. Instead of being discouraged by these challenges, it’s a call to grow stronger and more resilient. The stories and advice pulled me in completely, as anyone in a professional environment can relate to the drive and motivation the book offers.
This is an incredibly well-done and inspiring book. It not only celebrates what women have achieved so far, but also encourages everyone to keep pushing forward. As a man, I was deeply motivated and impressed by the clarity and power of the author’s message. It's a strong reminder that persistence and resilience are key, regardless of the obstacles.

[Lina Perea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many people, in their effort to get or keep a job, often tolerate unfair treatment, disrespect, or fail to assert their achievements. Pushback by Selena Rezvani offers valuable insights into overcoming these challenges. Through practical tips, real-life examples, and interviews with global leaders, the book helps readers learn how to maintain their position at work and assert themselves confidently. Rezvani challenges the mistaken belief that leaders or bosses shouldn’t ask questions. Instead, she shows how asking can create better communication and foster a healthier work environment. While the book highlights the challenges women face in the workplace, I believe it’s valuable for all workers, regardless of gender. At some point in their careers, everyone may encounter these kinds of situations.
Pushback is also a must-read for managers and leaders, as it provides insights on how to create a better work environment and perform their roles more effectively.

[Unwisely · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book about how women can argue at work without ruining their career. Practical lessons, from actual females in business. Which is something I really need. I have already recommended it to several friends who have been having the same issues at their jobs.

There's a lot about negotiation that I am not entirely sure how to apply, but luckily I don't need to. One of the tips was about doing a lot of research so you can be ready for any question has really been something I've already applied in my own life. If I know I have to deal with [coworker], I will do the research and make a spreadsheet with the relevant info. If he pushes back, I am ready. (And if he doesn't, when he complains to the boss, I can reference that data collection effort to say why I made that decision. Which happened last week. I have the information right here! makes you look really good, turns out.)

[Lauraforero · Rating 5 out of 5]

I expected typical career advice but found so much more. Rezvani emphasizes that negotiation is an ongoing skill women should continuously develop throughout their careers. I especially appreciated the focus on confidence, something I’ve struggled with in my own career. This book gave me practical tools to start changing that. Her suggestions are simple yet impactful. The case studies of women who have successfully pushed back were incredibly inspiring. Their stories reminded me that I’m not alone in my struggles.
I’d recommend this book to any woman who feels like she’s not getting what she deserves at work. It’s more than just a guide—it’s a call to action. It gives you the tools and, more importantly, the motivation to start using them. After reading Pushback, I feel ready to approach the next phase of my career with renewed confidence and courage.

[Callie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like most good pep talks, this book won't tell you much you probably didn't already know. I think it's best-read if you have a specific upcoming or previous negotiation in mind. It'd be helpful to frame and organize your thinking going in. You'll get more out of it if you're a deliberate and interactive reader, rather than scanning for tips.

More empirical research would have been a lovely complement to the interesting exec anecdotes. The studies that were presented glossed over methodologies and findings and felt like pop-science instead of being convincing.

That said, if you're going to read something on women & negotiation, this is probably a decent choice. I recommend Ch. 3, "Prepare Psychologically" if you're going to pick-and-choose sections.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is somewhat akin to having a short pep talk with a career coach and focuses on how women can negotiate favorable outcomes in the workplace. I particularly enjoyed the many quotes that Selena Rezvani incorporates from the female executives she interviewed while doing background research for the book.

As a side note, I don't think the content of this book is correctly labeled as "pushback" (a title that suggests coming from a place of weakness and does not do justice to the narratives, experiences, and strategies described in the book). Fortunately, the book doesn't get caught up in the shortcomings of the title and mostly focuses on negotiation not from a place of weakness but rather from a place of strength.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pushback was exactly what I needed to read right now. It’s not just about asking for more money or a promotion—it’s about building the confidence to stand up for yourself in a way that feels genuine. Selena Rezvani totally gets the unique challenges women face in speaking up, and she addresses them with real-life examples and practical strategies. The advice on how to approach tough conversations and negotiate felt realistic and doable, even for someone like me who usually avoids confrontation. Plus, hearing from so many inspiring women who have been in the trenches and succeeded was super motivating. Definitely recommend this for anyone looking to grow their career without compromising who they are.

[Margarita Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s often difficult to express what you want, stand your ground, and communicate your needs. But Pushback by Selena Rezvani opened my eyes to the fact that it’s possible to build confidence, improve self-advocacy, and get what you deserve. This book is a powerful guide that transforms not just how you negotiate at work but in everyday life.
Rezvani addresses the psychological barriers women face in negotiation and offers practical techniques to improve outcomes. This is a wise and empowering book that provides clear strategies for women to excel in negotiation, helping to dismantle fears and build confidence. The combination of research, interviews, and actionable steps creates a roadmap for women to assert themselves in both professional and personal settings. The tone is uplifting and motivational, making it a must-read for any woman looking to strengthen her negotiation skills and achieve greater success.
I’m sure you’ll love this book as much as I did!

[Mia C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite aspects of this book was how it made me reflect on my own career, helping me recognize moments where I could have been more assertive. It helped me realize that standing up for myself doesn’t have to be intimidating if I approach it with the right mindset. Rezvani simplifies what can often feel like a complex issue, offering clear tools for navigating negotiations with confidence. Seeing how women at the top still face challenges but handle them with grace and determination was inspiring. It gave me more confidence in my own ability to push back when needed. For anyone feeling stuck or undervalued at work, this book is a must-read.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this book to women who would like to up their negotiating skills. The tips are practical and easily applied. The tips range from job offers to performance reviews to sales pitches and other business examples. 4 stars because there is a small underlying condescending "don't you dare let him/them treat you that way" which I felt did not add benefit to the message of the book. That in itself should not stop you from reading it at all, but I felt it worth mentioning. My opinion is there is no reason to be angry; there is only reason to get out and pursue what you truly want.

[Mariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for women looking to advance their careers through effective negotiation and self-advocacy. The updated edition provides practical advice on how to secure promotions, negotiate higher pay, and land key opportunities, all by confidently standing firm. It draws from interviews with influential female leaders who have successfully navigated their way to the top, offering valuable insights. One of the strengths of this edition is its use of data from hundreds of professional women across various industries, gathered over five years of online surveys. This data highlights the challenges women face in advocating for themselves, especially around confidence and overcoming internal biases. The author combines these findings with psychology and leadership research, offering a clear, step-by-step guide to handling tough workplace conversations—something I found incredibly helpful. The experiences shared by successful women in leadership are inspiring and offer concrete examples of how to face career challenges and secure what’s deserved. The message is clear: women can and should ask for more, and with the right tools and mindset, they can overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. A must-read.

[S Tyty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Throughout the book, Rezvani shares real-life examples and insights from professional women across various industries, making it easy to connect with the experiences of those who have successfully advocated for themselves. The book’s goal is simple: to show readers how other women have navigated their way to the top, and how they can do the same. Rezvani’s narrative is practical and to the point, and she clearly did her research, providing a wealth of information drawn from diverse sources. What I found most impactful is how easy she makes everything seem—her writing style, vocabulary, and approach make complex ideas feel accessible and actionable. The book offers a thorough analysis of the challenges women face in the professional world, and it’s packed with useful ideas, data, real-life examples, and questions to reflect on. Rezvani also includes personal anecdotes, which help to bring her advice to life.
After reading this book, I realized how much I needed this information. It gave me a fresh perspective on my career and inspired me to step out of my comfort zone as a proactive woman.

[Ava Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a breath of fresh air for anyone who has felt overlooked in the workplace. Rezvani’s data-backed advice feels achievable and relevant, with each chapter bringing new approaches to help women assert themselves confidently. I loved the candid interviews with executive leaders—it’s motivating to hear how they navigated similar struggles. What stands out most is Rezvani’s emphasis on taking initiative and reshaping perceptions of women in leadership. It’s a great read for women early in their careers or anyone facing barriers in advancing to leadership roles.

[Books4Movies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Selena Rezvani’s Pushback is more than a guide on negotiating; it’s a reminder to value yourself and your contributions. The blend of psychological research and practical advice makes it easy to apply the tips immediately. One of my favorite takeaways was the strategy of building a support network to reinforce confidence before big asks. While some concepts might resonate more with women in traditional corporate settings, the encouragement to take charge of your career path is universal. It’s a great addition to the toolkit for women aiming to drive their own success.

[Ivan M · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Pushback" is an inspiring book that encourages women to step fully into their voice and advocate for themselves, not just for personal growth but to inspire others who look up to them. It motivates women to pursue professional goals by speaking up, working hard, and building smart connections. While gender inequity isn’t the central focus of the book, it’s a theme that can't be overlooked as the author shares her personal experiences and the wisdom gained over time—offering inspiration, if not direct solutions.

Where the book truly shines is in its approach to negotiation, a skill often underestimated. Many of us are taught to accept what we’re given and be content, but Rezvani highlights how smart, well-informed negotiation can alter the course of our careers. She acknowledges that it’s not easy and breaks down the many factors to consider, providing valuable insights.

I found the book to be an engaging read. It’s clear, concise, and to the point, making it both a light and powerful resource. As a man, I also found it gave me ideas on how to stand up for myself and strategically think about my career, showing that the lessons here aren’t just for women.

I highly recommend this book. 

[Lilly]

I found Pushback to be incredibly empowering and practical, filled with actionable insights that have transformed the way I approach negotiations. One of the things that struck me most was the way Rezvani blends personal stories with research-backed strategies. The interviews with powerful female leaders like Darla Price and Jayshree Seth are incredibly inspiring, showing real-world examples of women who’ve successfully pushed back and gotten what they deserve.

What I appreciated most was how the book tackled not just negotiation strategies but also the psychological barriers that many of us face—self-doubt, bias, and internalized limitations. Rezvani’s approach feels relatable and doable. She doesn't just tell you to be confident; she shows you how to build that confidence through a methodical, data-driven approach.

Reading the book made me realize the power of asking for what you deserve, and it equipped me with the tools to do it. It’s not just a guide for tough conversations but a roadmap for becoming a stronger advocate for yourself and others. A must-read for any woman who’s ready to level up!