Never Wipe Your Ass with a Squirrel: A trail running, ultramarathon, and wilderness survival guide for weird folks by Jason Robillard

by Jason Robillard

A basic primer in trail running and ultramarathon running geared toward novices. Includes A LOT of rather obscure tips, so even expert runners will find something useful. This is the table of Introduction Why DO people run trails? What is a trail? Technical versus nontechnical trails How does trail running compare to other activities? Trail etiquette Trailcraft Elements of good running form Run efficiently Difference between road running gait and trail running gait Uphill technique Downhill technique Pooping What to drink Food Food before a run Food during a run Gear Shoes Carrying water Know where to find water Cell phones Personal location beacons Personal protection Flashlights and headlamps Familiarity with Local Weather Patterns Check the weather forecast Natural weather predictors What to do in a severe thunderstorm Stretching and rolling Learning to fall Prepare for trouble First aid kit Why you should run ultras The different race options Choosing your first ultramarathon Elevation profiles How much do ultramarathons cost? What about fatass races? The difference between road and trail ultras Taking the leap and signing up for your first ultra Learn all you can about the race Finding the time to train for ultras Balancing life commitments Is there such thing as a perfect career for ultramarathons? Picking a race Learning about the race Give me a training plan! How do I choose a training plan? Using heart rate as a training tool Do I have to follow the plan religiously? Listening to your body Overtraining Training partners Training run conversations How to get rid of that annoying training partner The art of experimentation Speedwork Fartleks Hill repeats The long run Crosstraining Course specificity training Periodization Losing weight for race day Race etiquette Runner personalities Race strategy Run/walk strategy So how do you get faster? Walking technique? Speeding up strategy Fasting while training Gluttony training Thermoregulation Electrolytes Chafing Shave the junk or rock the ‘fro? Foot care Popping blisters Running with dogs Training in various bodily states Night running Sleep deprivation training Learning when shit’s about to go bad Racing as training Coaching and ultramarathons Does body type matter Pacers Crew Some additional ultrarunning tips About us

Genres: Nonfiction, Sports, Health, Fitness, Outdoors

Paperback Bunko

First published March 11, 2013

About the author

Jason is a writer, podcaster, semi-retired ultrarunner, recreational pro MMA fighter, occasional teacher, and running coach living in the San Diego area. Jason's goal in life is to seek out interesting adventures, push boundaries, and help others do the same. Jason is a serial hobbyist with a wide range of interests.

Reviews

[Flo Wachter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learnt nothing new but had a hell of a time while reading. Definitely the most funniest book about running i´ve ever read!

[Vít Kotačka · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book is brilliant. In fact, it's the reason why it caught my eye and why I choose to read it.

Comparing to it, the content is not so stellar, but still good and worth reading. There is plenty of topics related to trail and ultra running. The style is episodic - I guess, half of the "chapters" have been previous blogposts.

The book is split in two parts. The first one is about trail running and I didn't find it much interesting - anyone, who spent childhood in boy/girl scout, or something similar, won't be surprised.

The second part is about ultras and for me, that was something different. I have never run ultra myself, but still dreaming that some day, I will. Western States, UMTB, Transvulcania...

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Even for the totally naive, I found this book being just so plain obvious that I wonder how it got to be published. It's also repetitive, with too many typos and unnecessary sexual innuendo (and I'm not a prude!!!!)

[Josiah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great intro

This book is an easy and often humorous intro to a very monumental endeavor. I recommend this easy read if you are new to ultra running and want to get a general survey of the sport. From here pick up another title that is perhaps more detailed.

[Ashley Tovar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as funny as I except but good for a few laughs & filled with GREAT training info. Definitely not your casual running book. This book is really geared towards someone serious about entering the ultra world.

[Meesh Preston · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had kept this book downstairs and would pick it up and read a section every now and again. Humor and bits of running info to digest.

[Kevin Wyckoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and plainspoken advice for those crazy enough to aspire to run a really really long ways in the wilderness

[Catherine Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

As… interesting… as the title suggests. Enjoyablish if you ignore the surprising number of typos

[Aggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cracked up a few times reading this. I really liked the way it's written, but wish it went into more detail in some of the chapters. I've never run a marathon, never mind an ultra, but this book got me to sign up for my first race (a 5k with my 6 & 8 year olds) in February (: I used to think marathon were crazy, but recently started running with my kids and we all love it. Thanks to the author for an informative, funny and friendly take on trail running in general (we only have one road where we live and the race is on arenal volcano, a few hours away...see? I'm using social media to keep us from chickening out, one of the authors tips).

I didn't know much about barefoot running except that some remote places had very good runners who never had shoes. I was having a problem with all the shoes i tried- nothing like the running shoes of high school cross country. zero-drop is where it's at for me. I want to find some for my boys too now.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not anecdotal type of book, or a personal journal about how running got him through a bad time. It is truly just an instructional book on ultra and trail running.

For a beginner, there is a lot of ideas to try out. For the rest, there is some information in there, and a few ideas I hadn't heard of before.

I did like it. I would recommend everybody who runs to read it. There is also a great section for pacers and crew members that should be read by everyone that will be doing that at some point in their lives.

It could also be a good book for non-runners to read that have a runner as a loved one. Good insight.

[Tony Hastie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The casual approach to ultra running...if there is such a thing! Jason is my favourite kind of teacher, one that makes the subject fun. Ive run a few ultras and learned a lot the hard way, on the trail, so am always looking for new ideas and and angles to approach putting one foot in front of the other for 50 or 100 miles. This book had plenty of tips. And like the man says...use what you want, discard the rest. That in itself is damn good advice. One question does remain unanswered though...how do you catch the squirrel in the first place?

[Sonja · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. As someone new to ultra running I felt like it gave a lot of good beginner's info without being condescending. It got me excited about the community and made me laugh. If you're looking for a serious training manual, this book isn't for you. If you're looking for a fun introduction that will get you hooked on the mental side of undertaking an ultra, I would suggest giving this a read.

[Aubrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was slow in parts (like about trails, weather, gear) but very interesting and helpful in other parts. I've been running for 5 years and frequently run in trails. I'm also trained in wilderness first aid, so parts of the book were old news to me. But, I am currently preparing for my first Ultra and the certainly was some useful information in here. I'm sure I will review this book every so often.

[Allan Schoenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for any trail runner runner

Jason is funny, serious and honest. His stories all provide great information and detail and he's very open that these are ideas that work for him. They may not work for you. I've read many books that teach the "only" way to be a successful runner. You will laugh and learn from this book and I highly recommend it whether you are a novice or advanced trail runner.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book filled with useful training tips brought about with brutal honesty. Informative and often hilarious. As the subtitle states this is a Trail Running, Ultramarathon and Wilderness Survival Guide for Weird Folks. I fit into two of those categories and am planning on running an Ultra in the near future.

[Roberto Rigolin F Lopes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don’t do it because squirrel is a grabby little fellow and you are in a pretty vulnerable position doing a squad with your pants down. Yes, this book is that useful! Using no frills, Jason unveils several tips for ultra marathoning into the wild. Feeling quite motivated to start working on my survival toolbox.

[Lumirb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very simple written book for all long distance runners. There are described so many tips and experiences worth to know without to do the experience myself.
The book is targeted to "normal" runners, if there are such in long distance running;-)

From the literature point of view it is not really the best work, it remembers rather a blog than a book, but it is very easy and quick to read.

[Tim Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great short read. I haven't laughed out loud so much reading a book in a long time yet in between the laughs is some useful information for trail and ultra runners. I only wish it had been longer.

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great fun but still very informative
stream-of-consciousness style guide to ultra running. Laugh out loud funny at several points, and I bet the only running book out there to feature a 10-point guide to pooping in the woods.

[susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't nearly as funny as I expected. A few one-liners here and there, but I guess it's hard to live up to a title like this one.

It turns out that this is a relatively serious primer for newbie trail/ultrarunners. It's easy, fast reading. Fun with some good tips along the way.

[Tom Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining and informative

Some very good tips for running and life in general. Funny, entertaining and serious. The author provides helpful tips and guidelines that help you discover what may work better for you. I will read more from this author

[Cristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I more like skimmed through it... As a complete noob I find it an enjoyable, down to earth, moderately vulgar, guide to ultramarathons.

[Vanessa Runs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very innovative running ideas and experimentation. Even the most seasoned runner will learn something new.

[Borut · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, refreshing and easy to read with great practical advice.

[Anthony Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the humor and honesty. You definitely don't get a fairy tale, just good info. No smoke up your ass with this read! Well done Jason!

[Ioan Mosincat · Rating 5 out of 5]

The guy is no doubt cuckoo in the head, while the book pretty funny - a fun read with some good tips and advices

[Nico · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative and funny book on trail running. I picked up some good tips.

[Keith Lord · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short book that had good info. While much of it was geered towards someone with little previous running experience there was some useful tricks for more experienced runners.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good info re: survival tactics (fires, weather, etc). Felt a little dry compared to the blog, but still a good read.

[Rock Angel]

Read the whole book for free:
http://squirrelwipe.blogspot.com/

i hear there's a 10-point guide to pooping in the woods