It's Your Money: Becoming a Woman of Independent Means

by Gail Vaz-Oxlade

With everything she does, Gail Vaz-Oxlade focuses on putting money in perspective and encouraging people to take control of their money and their lives. But over the years, she’ s found that an astonishing number of smart, competent women are relinquishing that control. It’ s Your Money is designed to inspire and inform them to take charge of their financial destinies.

This book will help each reader come to terms with why she deals with her money as she does. It helps her establish a solid financial foundation on which to build as she moves through her life. Gail walks her through the major milestones— partnering, raising a family and retiring— making sure she is empowered to make her own decisions, if she’ s in a relationship or not. It also shows the reader how to cope when stuff hits the fan, without adding financial stress to her burdens. For the woman who finds herself the sole breadwinner in a family, dealing with aging parents or coping with divorce or widowhood, Gail shows her how to keep her financial life on track.

Whether they need Gail’ s voice to encourage them to reach for new financial goals, or to kick their credit-card-happy butts back into line, women will turn to It’ s Your Money in good times and in bad.

Genres: Nonfiction, Finance, Personal Finance, Canada, Self Help, Money, Business

464 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

"Hello! I'm Gail Vaz-Oxlade. I'm a mother, step-mother, grand-mama, friend, confessor, writer, TV host, money maven, teacher, artist, and ex-wife. I'm loud, large and laugh a lot. I'm passionate about learning, committed to sharing and hell-bent on getting people to take control of their money and their lives.

I've written 13 books on personal finance, hundreds of articles for the financial media, published a financial magazine for women, hosted three prime-time television shows and worked with Canada’s leading financial services companies to help educate employees and clients. (I've been busy, eh?)

My corporate projects have ranged from the design of a product knowledge and sales curriculum to cover every product sold through the branch network, to the writing of several consumer-oriented brochures, the development of web content, the on-camera hosting of consumer-oriented videos, and myriad public presentations. I can make the most complex financial topic accessible to everyone, even kids.

For those of you who have detected an accent, go ahead and guess! I immigrated to Canada in 1977, lived in The Big City for a long time and then moved to the country. I have dozens of houseplants, read or listen to about 150 books a year and I'm a fabulous cook. I’m learning to knit and dying to get a new puppy… but the time’s not quite right yet so I’m practicing what I preach and being patient.

I’m all about change, and I believe that we can have anything we want in life…anything. It’s all a matter of what’s important to us and how hard we’re prepared to bust our butts. I also believe that a well-balanced life is one of the keys to happiness, and so I strive to achieve a sense of balance.

I’m happy with my life. I am determined to do interesting work and to be useful. I love to learn new things. And I’m practicing living in The Now. I am a work in progress."

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this financial DIY book for any woman looking to take hold and make use of their present and future earnings. It was approachable, concise, and very relatable. It does make me wonder if her other books are much different. Nonetheless, great read!

[Lauren Jackson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a revision of an older book called A Woman of Independent Means: A Woman's Guide to Full Financial Security, which I think is better. While this book does provide a solid foundation for those who are starting to take their finances more seriously, and discusses finance changes in the great context of life events, it is not as thorough as the original book.

Given that the original book is out of print, and now dated, this now becomes the best Gail Vaz-Oxlade book you can get. Other books she has written hyperfocus on a topic, where this one gives an appropriate survey to serve as the cornerstone of one's PF book collection.

Compare my praises of the original book with this one.

[Devon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is amazing and actually helped me to obtain the ultimate goal of becoming debt-free. Vaz-Oxlade is a no non-sense woman who tells readers what they need to hear; not so much what they WANT to hear.
I was car-poor, being dragged down by the weight of a car that I couldn't afford - so I sold it. At first, I wondered what I had done and how I would survive without a car, but I made it. You think you can't do something until you do it, and Gail teaches you that. Gail makes you be honest with yourself so that you can, once and for all, become debt-free.

[Kerie Lynn Jelks (nee McAfee) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bought this in early 2012 from Chapters. I went there specifically looking for this. My abuser didn't care what I read so he didn't see it. I didn't get time to read it all before my life became more hellish. But I did later.

I will always say to any woman and my daughter - always, always do the following. (Even if you think you have a loving, safe relationship at some point in your life, and you well may, it's safer for women to protect themselves than not). I learned the hard way that deceit can be right in your home. That the most unsafe place for you, could be where you least expect it.

I'm very financially literate now. And even though the economic abuse continues towards the kids, I am aware if how to document that, aware of options and also able to carry all of it myself and have for years. I'm very proud of my ability to persevere. Things can change. And you need to have your own safety in mind. My abuser in the last few years before cutting off funds for the kids entirely 2 months after I told, had been giving separate envelopes with an allowance. I still had debit card access but tried to abide by the ever-changing rules. I had no bank accounts of my own and had to start from nothing

- keep your own bank account(s). 3 of them. All of them unaccessible to anyone but you. Even if your partner wants to share everything and life seems ok. Keep at least $5k in an emergency fund in a TFSA. Should you need legal or emergency help, you'll have enough in the interim.

- never give up your job. Even if your partner, and especially if they are a high earner, says he will cover everything, they say don't worry, they feel you are not paying enough attention to them so please stay home, the kids need you, or any other reason. My professional license was to expire a month after I left my abuser, and that was his goal. I was lucky but many are not. When faced with economic abuse, it's hard to leave. My abuser had to be court ordered after 4 yrs of refusal to pay support as well as dragged out legal proceedings, hiding assets, refusing disclosure, refusing all offers to settle, appealing things and self-representing as abusers do to attempt to harm. You need to have employment.
*no man gives up their career for a woman. So why should women be made into bangmaids once marrying.

- obtain benefits. Dental. Health. I am lucky and receive 100% for my family but do not rely on your ex or partner for that.

- take out your own RESP for the kids if you have any with provisions against either parent cashing it. Any support I have received has gone here. It's better to live within your means and have the knowledge your children's futures are secure.

- make sure you aren't married overseas, like a Caribbean destination for instance. Its not recognized in North America and common-law rules are detrimental to women.

- make sure you have access to the heat/hydro meaning do not let him control all the bills. Have your own login and password. My abuser stopped paying both and 6 months after unpaid bills the utilities were shut off, in winter, and we had to find shelter for our dog as well as leave the home, which was left without those things, unable to be cleaned or maintained. My abuser then changed the name to me and I was left with more unpaid bills. The timeshares that were under his login only were redirected to an address 2 doors away from his surety so nobody received the bills and by the time I had managed to obtain records, I was saddled with thousands of dollars in bills and collection. The furniture in storage was kept from us for almost 2 yrs and that cost was thousands when finally obtained so we just decided to give our belongings up.
*make sure you have the ability to manage bills and accounts to prevent changes by your ex or current partner without your knowledge.

- protect your assets. Make sure you know your house documents. Especially to prevent your ex or current partner from putting fraudulent liens against the home without your signature. Mine did that and saddled me with the bill later.

[Céline des Ligneris (Carole) · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book, especially the first part to become aware of the relationship you have with your money and how to heal this relationship. Then read the other parts, by selecting the situation you are in, so you can make sure that you are in control of your finances, and everything related to it, including the insurance, your roof and your credit rate.
It lacks a part of the how to that I have found in Worry Free Money by Shannon Lee Simmons, but a good read nonetheless.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book at a thrift store for 50 cents, and following the tips in the book have already saved us over $100, and the effects will only multiply in the months to come. A good return on my investment. Easy to read and practical.

[Carleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Plan like a pessimist so you can live like an optimist." -Gail Vaz-Oxlade

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read for women who are taking a look at their financial situation. It was an easy read with lots of useful information.

[Joan Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on accumulating wealth & dealing with different investing instruments through the various stages of lifel

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Gail Vaz-Oxlade.

Over the last few years, hubby and I have watched many, many episodes of her TV show "Til Debt Do Us Part", admiring her blunt, frankness and full-attack mode to help desperate couples take charge of their financial disasters and get back into living within their means. So, when I had the chance to grab a copy of her new book, "It's Your Money" I snapped it up.

I had a few worries about reading the book though before I started. First, this book is marketed to women, and knowing that Gail is a very strong personality, I was concerned that this book might be rather anti-men, or at least very focused on how to keep your finances separate from your significant other. Second, I was a bit nervous on how I would handle reading a book about finances. Typically, I tend to have a switch in my brain turn off when it comes to money matters. No matter how hard I try, it is like T'm reading or listening to a foreign language I can never fully comprehend. But, I dove into the book anyways.

Typically, I just avoid finance stuff. Over the years, I've let my Dad take care of it, if needed, since he is wise in that department or deferred issues to J since he is the man in the house and it's just easier to give it over to him. I know these aren't GREAT methods of financial wisdom, but they've worked. Now that I mostly handle our family finances, it's time for me to understand more about what I'm doing, set priorities and goals, and know what is important in our decisions.

Hence, the book.

Gail has done a great job of approaching women with this book - tackling the psychology of money through profiles and questions designed to get us thinking about how we look at money. Are we spenders or thrifters? Avoiders or Debtors? Once we can have an idea of our personal attachment with money - it makes it easier to understand what steps to take from there and what roles we need to take when we are making decisions.

Although there is a brief section on the importance of how to set up a spending plan (aka budget), the book doesn't dwell on the nitty-gritty of getting your current finances in order, but actually looks at bigger and more scenario based topics such as buying a house, RRSPs, wills, and how to make sure you have your own credit - not just being attached to your spouses' credit.

She also tackles the challenges of various life changes, from having a baby to retirement - and preps you for some "just in case" scenarios such as divorce or widowhood. These aren't easy topics to work through, and usually something we avoid thinking about or planning for. Although I hope I don't need to think about these situations for a long, long time (or not at all), it was good to read the financial suggestions for them.

Interspersed with the text of the book are little blocks of Gail's Tips which drill into specific discussions with a little more clarity and her personal opinions.

Gail's no-holds-barred approach to finances is like a breath of fresh air. I only felt my eyes glazing over a few times in the book, but was able to get back into it easily as she typically writes relatively jargon-free and like a friend across the table trying to help you understand what she's talking about. She's done a terrific job of tackling some hard and potentially messy situations and breaking them down into segments of your finances so you can see what steps to take in order to survive them and stay afloat financially.

I recommend this book, because I think - even if it's like attempting to understand Chinese as an English-speaker - knowing something about money and finances is important.

[Latifa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book to re-read

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a 24 year old recent graduate who just got a job. So from my perspective having little no background in personal finances, this book was excellent in covering those basics.

She divides her book into three sections:
Part I: Understand how you feel about your money
Part II: Build your financial foundation
Part III: Adapt your plan as your life changes

I found Part I and Part II the most useful. Both tackle understanding your money personality (turns out I'm a 'miser'), setting goals, building a budget, credit identity, investments, insurance, taxes, and wills/powers of attorney. Part III tackles things like having a baby, divorce/loss of partner, or bad situations that can upset you financially and how to approach.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has little to no background on financial basics. I found I learned a lot from this book, but I could see someone more experienced who may not find the book as useful. It's a great starting point, and what can I say? I love Gail!

[Anna Bunce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic (and Canadian centric) financial advice book. Gail Vaz-Oxlade is down to earth and practical and I am definitely a fan. While at first I was a bit wary of a female centric financial guide (can't men and women just take the same financial advice?) Gail does an excellent job of highlighting situations women commonly find themselves in and how to financially address those issues (realizing you don't want to go back to work immediately after maternity leave, divorce or separation, making the decision to care for an elderly parent etc.). In the end, the gendered perspective that I initially scoffed at is what made the book so relevant and something that I will reference for years to come. I've recommended and lent the book to numerous friends since reading it and will continue to do so. Move over wealthy barber - it's time to make room for a woman of independent means.

[Tanya Bea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things got a little sluggish towards the end...with all the talk of being widowed or disabled...but leave it to Gail to go out on a high note:

"Today, pick one thing you'll do differently. You might choose to stash your credit cards behind the refrigerator and shop with cash...Maybe you'll put yourself on a monthly investment plan. With as little as $25 a month, you can start forming a habit that will hold you in good stead forever."

"You, and only you, have the power to make the life you want. You can take control. You can be financially at peace if you want to be. But only you can make it happen." p.424

[Shora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can imagine that this book does not add much to financial knowledge of the people who are born or raised in Canada and have heard people around then talk about RRSPs and TFSAa and all these different kinds of insurances all the time. But I am an immigrant from a country with a whole different financial system. So this book gave me a great shortlist of things I have to learn about in detail. It explained everything well, without being too technical. I also liked the honest, no bullshit tone of Gail.

[thecoylelife · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was only mildly helpful. It's easy to read, and it has helped me to think in a different way about my spending and saving. It's helped me to set up a few new things in my monthly budget that will eventually help me to get ahead. I'd say it's worth the read if you are someone like me who has never really thought concretely about finances before. As a 25 year old, unmarried woman though, not all of this book feels applicable to me so it was hard to get through all of it.

[Kira Dlusskaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well-written and empowering book to which I plan to return many times. It's full of tips on how to manage your money and real-talk about why it's imperative that you do. The book is, in my opinion, an in-depth introduction to personal finance, so some advice may seem not especially insightful to the pros, but for most people, men or women, this is a good place to start and a lasting companion on the journey to sound personal finances.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Gail Vaz-Oxlade. I used to watch her TV shows all of the time. I think this is a great book for all women, regardless of where they are in their life plan. I would consider myself to have a strong financial knowledge-base, but still learned a lot of information in this book. Some of it was the little details, or the things that are not yet relevant to me, while others were larger areas such as the insurance chapter. A must read for those looking to secure their financial future.

[Carly Laughlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's your money is a good basic guideline book for having money, planning for your future, and dealing with life changes that affect you and others financially. While it isn't the most exciting read, and some chapters may not apply to you (retirement, having children, being widowed), it does give some good tips for tracking your spending and saving. I recommending skipping chapters that don't apply to you, as it gets a bit repetitive, but overall it is a good general guide.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simplistic, informative, things that every woman should know more about. Taking control of your finances is a major part of becoming independent and creating a sense of freedom. Knowledge is power and money is a major part of lives so understanding how to make it work for you and making sure that you take care of yourself and your loved ones leads to peace of mind.

[Kristin Matte · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's going to stay on my bookshelf as a reference. As someone who knows dick-all about finance and who has been totally passive about her financial situation I've definitely found this book eye-opening. Some chapter don't really touch me (marriage, kids) but financial planning issues like insurance and retirement definitely woke me up. I'll probably check it out again in the future.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sure this is helpful for those who are in debt, need to live on a budget, or just don't know how to handle their money. I guess I'm sensible and money savvy as I knew and do most of this already. Check this out if you want Canada specific information about credit, mortgages, retirement savings, etc.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a lot of new information for someone who practically stalks Gail Vaz Oxlade but would be a great book for someone who is looking for a good overview of what to expect and how to plan for life events.

[Cherop · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a terrific book for any woman (even men could benefit I'm sure) wanting a complete overview of all things financial from the early years to twilight year. I've read many financial books and even several by Gail Vaz-Oxlade. This one is by far the best one, in my humble opinion.

[Andréa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Useful information!

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I could be friends with Gail 😊 Looove her TV shows, and love that this book is specific to Canada. Thanks Gail, for doing what you do!!!

[Ahn · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn't what I expected.

[elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a previous reviewer mentioned, it's useful if you need a primer on financial literacy but otherwise not much new.

[Rachelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent information for Canadian women regarding financial plans for different stages of life (count on yourself!)

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, no-nonsense..this book helped me get out of debt in less than a year! Thanks Gail, for giving it to us straight! :)