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The Machine Trilogy #2
The Machine
THE MACHINE, the giant sprawling leviathan that has devoured the Earth, where humanity has degenerated into mindless slaves and amongst them, one man fights to survive the threats surrounding him on all sides… Final 100% revised & widely acclaimed edition.There is only THE MACHINE and those who live within it. Told through the unconventional, simple language of blue 7, one of the millions of workers who scurry through its metallic entrails, THE MACHINE tells of a brutal regime and the beginnings of rebellion within...Working without purpose and without end, humanity lives and slaves to maintain the huge mechanical monster, beyond which there is nothing. Blue 7, has spent his lifetime working and wondering the function of THE MACHINE, but someone has noticed him, and slowly his world begins to unravel in a blood-soaked violent struggle that threatens not only him, but THE MACHINE itself…“After some fantastic feedback from many readers around the world, I decided to have THE MACHINE proofread and re-edited. Luckily I found Type it Write Transcription, and they have done an amazing job of bringing the novel to a whole new level. Many thanks to everyone who has been downloading both versions and please feel free to upgrade to these new accessible editions. It’s all still there in a wonderful new form. The dark disturbing narration, the hidden secrets and the brutal story all remain intact.” DGJ 28/07/2012THE MACHINE is a controversial dark novel. It has been described as ‘the new 1984 or Brave New World’ ‘a Modern Classic’ and ‘a dark masterpiece’, but also ‘subversive and dangerous’ and ‘sick and highly disturbing’. THE MACHINE is available in two versions, The Industrial Edition containing the unconventional text, and The Easy Read Edition, the same story only written in Standard Contains explicit material, graphic sexual and violent content.Visit D G Jones www.theflayedprince.co.ukFollow on @theflayedprince or follow blue 7 @bluesection7The Machine THE MACHINE. Lynchpin. Persecution.
189 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 5, 2010
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49 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
July 27, 2012
**DISCLAIMER: Below you will find my original review of this book which resulted in a 2 star rating. Because of the author's exceptional way of dealing with the criticisms I've listed below, and because of his further explanation of the writing style, I am changing my review from a 2 star to a 4 star and will gladly read other pieces of literature by the author. The comments presented by the author and the way it was done truly shows how much they appreciate the opinions and feedback of their readers and that means so much to an avid reader that I felt this was only appropriate.**
So let me begin this review by saying that if the first sentence of the book was any indicator of the kind of book this was going to be then I would've loved it. The first sentence reading "They rammed a four-inch spike down blue 316's urethra before they hung him.", led me to believe that this was going to be much more of an exciting read then it was. I have many things to comment on regarding this book and I have outlined them below:
*Why was this called the easy read edition? From what I've read from the other reviews both editions (Industrial and Easy Read) were both hard to get through do to the massive amounts of errors throughout the book. I understand that editing errors are going to happen but there are way to many things wrong with the way this story was written.
-90% of the time the sentences weren't even capitalize.
-Missing words or transposed words (i.e. instead of saying "You like LIKE sh*t" it says "You look sh*t). Really?! I can understand if this happens once but it's throughout the entire story!!
-Location 902 "he was stood right next to them right on them almost."
-Location 3408 "Can I, I ask myself, I and know I can, easily."
These are just a couple of examples! There aren't periods where there should be and way more commas than would ever be necessary. I literally felt like I was reading one long run on sentence for the entire book, it didn't make it any easier that there weren't any chapters. I don't know about most people but I don't usually sit down and finish a book in one sitting and when there aren't any real pauses or breaks throughout the story it made it hard to find a place to stop when I had to do something else. When I came back to reading the story I had to figure out where I was and try to recall everything that had happened up to that moment.
Grammar and other errors put aside, I still felt like the plot was very lackluster. I didn't find myself caring about any of the characters, THE MACHINE, or what happened to any of them. The main character was so whiny that I kept hoping he would off himself like he thought about doing so much throughout. The best part of this entire story was the introduction to 66. What a great character! Completely crazed but totally a victim of his environment. If the author had really focused on him as the antagonist rather than focusing so much on Blue 7s complaining I would've been able to deal with all the errors. I understand that there is a undertone of Blue 7 possibly being crazy for the first little while but by the time the story finally came together (about 85% of the way through the story) I was done, I just wanted it to be over with.
I did not appreciate that the author makes so many references to being outside THE MACHINE, wanting to be outside THE MACHINE, how to get outside THE MACHINE, and what's outside THE MACHINE without there being any real point to it. If you're trying that hard to get your readers interested in a particular thing then maybe it should be at least somewhat relevant. Along these same lines, an author shouldn't make something seem important if it means nothing to the story. 7 keeps talking about how there has to be a connection between 38 and 85 (I think those are their #s) and how 85 seems so distraught with what happens to 38 but then even in the end when you find out who 85 really is, you still don't get an answer to that.
I would have to say that the last 15% of the story was actually my favorite. Learning about 66 and the things he's been doing to survive as well as the things he's been doing due to his insanity was extremely interesting. I hated that the author waited so long to introduce the only multidimensional character in the entire story. While everyone else is busy being the mindless drone, 66 is the only one doing anything worth reading about.
**SPOILER!**
Then after everything is said and done, and Blue 7 is freaking out about seeing the sun one more time, he has to turn around and throw himself into THE MACHINE just to escape the Greys that are going to kill him anyway. He should've just did the job himself at the beginning of the book and saved us all some grief.
**END OF SPOILER**
Additionally, with regards to previous reviewers suggesting that Americans don't appreciate good literature, I want to say this:
If an author can't respect his readers enough to proof read (10x if necessary!), format correctly, and provide rich and realistic characters, then I'm not going to respect them enough to give a good review or read anymore of their work. I've read way too many good books by outstanding authors to find this acceptable.
P.S. If you like the basic premise of the story try reading Wool. Some likeliness between the two but Hugh Howey is a much better author and takes the time to release good material that he has made sure will also visually please the readers (meaning good grammar, English, spelling, etc).
***I did end up receiving a comment from the author regarding my review. I am including that chain below for additional information:
Initial post: Jul 24, 2012 2:58:16 AM PDT
david glyn jones says:
Dear Betty, many thanks for your comments and I respect your opinion 100%. I just wanted to clarify that the proof reading issues are in the main deliberate, as I was trying to put myself in the place of an illiterate man telling a story, (this is a comment on the UK education system where apparently 4 in 10 leave school unable to read and write properly which I am sure you agree is a very sad state of affairs). I just wanted to say I do respect my readers totally, this is why I chose not to spell out several points of THE MACHINE and let the reader work them out for themselves. However, I agree totally 7 is very whiny, like myself he is a man who complains but does little. Many thanks for your interest and wishing you well, DGJ.
Crazie Betty says:
I want to thank you so much for commenting on this. It greatly helps to know these kinds of details. I do understand the point of writing the story as if in the place of an illiterate man but it is hard to gather that the grammar and proof reading issues are solely meant to add depth to a character. With so many first time publishers on Amazon honestly not taking the time to proof read their material, it becomes more and more difficult to truly decipher between literary prowess and laziness. Thank you again for your willigness to explain this to me, I appreciate that level of respect from an author and it does not go unnoticed.
david glyn jones says:
Dear Betty, many thanks for your comments and no problem! Unfortunately I don't have a lot of money but your comments finally decided me to get the damn thing proof read properly! I have scraped up some cash and it is being done as we speak! I admire you candor and honesty and hope this does not put you off my other work which is a bit more fast paced and strange than THE MACHINE! Am wishing you well and sending my very best wishes, have a new one out soon (but that one is in a similar vein so not sure if it will be your cup of tea!), however, check out my crazy horror if you like. One day they will be proof read I swear, he he! All the best, DGJ.
So let me begin this review by saying that if the first sentence of the book was any indicator of the kind of book this was going to be then I would've loved it. The first sentence reading "They rammed a four-inch spike down blue 316's urethra before they hung him.", led me to believe that this was going to be much more of an exciting read then it was. I have many things to comment on regarding this book and I have outlined them below:
*Why was this called the easy read edition? From what I've read from the other reviews both editions (Industrial and Easy Read) were both hard to get through do to the massive amounts of errors throughout the book. I understand that editing errors are going to happen but there are way to many things wrong with the way this story was written.
-90% of the time the sentences weren't even capitalize.
-Missing words or transposed words (i.e. instead of saying "You like LIKE sh*t" it says "You look sh*t). Really?! I can understand if this happens once but it's throughout the entire story!!
-Location 902 "he was stood right next to them right on them almost."
-Location 3408 "Can I, I ask myself, I and know I can, easily."
These are just a couple of examples! There aren't periods where there should be and way more commas than would ever be necessary. I literally felt like I was reading one long run on sentence for the entire book, it didn't make it any easier that there weren't any chapters. I don't know about most people but I don't usually sit down and finish a book in one sitting and when there aren't any real pauses or breaks throughout the story it made it hard to find a place to stop when I had to do something else. When I came back to reading the story I had to figure out where I was and try to recall everything that had happened up to that moment.
Grammar and other errors put aside, I still felt like the plot was very lackluster. I didn't find myself caring about any of the characters, THE MACHINE, or what happened to any of them. The main character was so whiny that I kept hoping he would off himself like he thought about doing so much throughout. The best part of this entire story was the introduction to 66. What a great character! Completely crazed but totally a victim of his environment. If the author had really focused on him as the antagonist rather than focusing so much on Blue 7s complaining I would've been able to deal with all the errors. I understand that there is a undertone of Blue 7 possibly being crazy for the first little while but by the time the story finally came together (about 85% of the way through the story) I was done, I just wanted it to be over with.
I did not appreciate that the author makes so many references to being outside THE MACHINE, wanting to be outside THE MACHINE, how to get outside THE MACHINE, and what's outside THE MACHINE without there being any real point to it. If you're trying that hard to get your readers interested in a particular thing then maybe it should be at least somewhat relevant. Along these same lines, an author shouldn't make something seem important if it means nothing to the story. 7 keeps talking about how there has to be a connection between 38 and 85 (I think those are their #s) and how 85 seems so distraught with what happens to 38 but then even in the end when you find out who 85 really is, you still don't get an answer to that.
I would have to say that the last 15% of the story was actually my favorite. Learning about 66 and the things he's been doing to survive as well as the things he's been doing due to his insanity was extremely interesting. I hated that the author waited so long to introduce the only multidimensional character in the entire story. While everyone else is busy being the mindless drone, 66 is the only one doing anything worth reading about.
**SPOILER!**
Then after everything is said and done, and Blue 7 is freaking out about seeing the sun one more time, he has to turn around and throw himself into THE MACHINE just to escape the Greys that are going to kill him anyway. He should've just did the job himself at the beginning of the book and saved us all some grief.
**END OF SPOILER**
Additionally, with regards to previous reviewers suggesting that Americans don't appreciate good literature, I want to say this:
If an author can't respect his readers enough to proof read (10x if necessary!), format correctly, and provide rich and realistic characters, then I'm not going to respect them enough to give a good review or read anymore of their work. I've read way too many good books by outstanding authors to find this acceptable.
P.S. If you like the basic premise of the story try reading Wool. Some likeliness between the two but Hugh Howey is a much better author and takes the time to release good material that he has made sure will also visually please the readers (meaning good grammar, English, spelling, etc).
***I did end up receiving a comment from the author regarding my review. I am including that chain below for additional information:
Initial post: Jul 24, 2012 2:58:16 AM PDT
david glyn jones says:
Dear Betty, many thanks for your comments and I respect your opinion 100%. I just wanted to clarify that the proof reading issues are in the main deliberate, as I was trying to put myself in the place of an illiterate man telling a story, (this is a comment on the UK education system where apparently 4 in 10 leave school unable to read and write properly which I am sure you agree is a very sad state of affairs). I just wanted to say I do respect my readers totally, this is why I chose not to spell out several points of THE MACHINE and let the reader work them out for themselves. However, I agree totally 7 is very whiny, like myself he is a man who complains but does little. Many thanks for your interest and wishing you well, DGJ.
Crazie Betty says:
I want to thank you so much for commenting on this. It greatly helps to know these kinds of details. I do understand the point of writing the story as if in the place of an illiterate man but it is hard to gather that the grammar and proof reading issues are solely meant to add depth to a character. With so many first time publishers on Amazon honestly not taking the time to proof read their material, it becomes more and more difficult to truly decipher between literary prowess and laziness. Thank you again for your willigness to explain this to me, I appreciate that level of respect from an author and it does not go unnoticed.
david glyn jones says:
Dear Betty, many thanks for your comments and no problem! Unfortunately I don't have a lot of money but your comments finally decided me to get the damn thing proof read properly! I have scraped up some cash and it is being done as we speak! I admire you candor and honesty and hope this does not put you off my other work which is a bit more fast paced and strange than THE MACHINE! Am wishing you well and sending my very best wishes, have a new one out soon (but that one is in a similar vein so not sure if it will be your cup of tea!), however, check out my crazy horror if you like. One day they will be proof read I swear, he he! All the best, DGJ.
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