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The Most Boring Book Ever Written
BUYER BEWARE! Do NOT purchse this book if you are looking for any of the -A plot -Interesting dialogue -Romance -Action and/or adventure -Zombies -Insight into the human condition -An underlying message -Complex characters -Comedy -Symbolism -Gunplay -A point BELIEVE THE 1-STAR THIS IS THE MOST BORING BOOK EVER WRITTEN.
144 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 16, 2012
84 people are currently reading
287 people want to read
About the author
Rudolf Kerkhoven
14 books18 followersRudolf Kerkhoven has been writing novels that range from serious to silly ever since he had hair. He lives with his wife and two children in the Vancouver area of British Columbia where he teaches secondary school mathematics—a pleasant sweet & salty contrast to his creative writing.
His best selling book is The Most Boring Book Ever Written (with Daniel Pitts), which somehow seems appropriate.
His best selling book is The Most Boring Book Ever Written (with Daniel Pitts), which somehow seems appropriate.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
December 22, 2013
I had quite a different view of this book from most others. Frankly, I think it's quite brilliant. On the surface, it's a choose-your-own-adventure parodying the vacuity of modern suburban life. Many of the plotlines take hilarious deep dives into minutiae, transforming tiny events of routine into a commentary on the nature of workaday existence. To me, the exchange at the cash register, in particular, was incredibly funny.
But the book also has a darker edge just below the radar of the quick reader. What's happening in the main character's marriage? What did he do when he was a soldier? What will happen to him after he arrives at the airport? The threads of each of the stories intertwine carefully; you can only understand the violence and betrayal simmering underneath the banality of the story once you've followed all the plotlines to their ends.
Moreover, I think the quality of the writing stands tall in comparison to classic interactive fiction (e.g., Infocom). The Most Boring Book Ever Written is an underrated gem, waiting for the right reader. Not boring, and one of my favorite books of the year.
But the book also has a darker edge just below the radar of the quick reader. What's happening in the main character's marriage? What did he do when he was a soldier? What will happen to him after he arrives at the airport? The threads of each of the stories intertwine carefully; you can only understand the violence and betrayal simmering underneath the banality of the story once you've followed all the plotlines to their ends.
Moreover, I think the quality of the writing stands tall in comparison to classic interactive fiction (e.g., Infocom). The Most Boring Book Ever Written is an underrated gem, waiting for the right reader. Not boring, and one of my favorite books of the year.
September 4, 2013
One star for being honest in the title.
One thing that stuck out for me was how long the guy spent in the store. I was almost expecting him to take the cashier home.
Some of the pages didn't continue correctly. Like a paragraph or three were cut out.
Interesting this book was under the "Humor" category. The fair thing to do is go back and read every scenerio, but the first one I chose took such a dull yet interesting turn. It was interesting to see how much the store delayed, but at the same time it was dull and very awkwardly long and unimportant conversations for someone who needed to be at the airport. I may read the rest eventually and I do give the author credit for the effort. But still.
One thing that stuck out for me was how long the guy spent in the store. I was almost expecting him to take the cashier home.
Some of the pages didn't continue correctly. Like a paragraph or three were cut out.
Interesting this book was under the "Humor" category. The fair thing to do is go back and read every scenerio, but the first one I chose took such a dull yet interesting turn. It was interesting to see how much the store delayed, but at the same time it was dull and very awkwardly long and unimportant conversations for someone who needed to be at the airport. I may read the rest eventually and I do give the author credit for the effort. But still.
January 21, 2024
I read this last night to try to knock myself out because I couldn’t sleep. Didn’t really help because I thought it was hilarious, the dry humour was really good.
January 9, 2025
Essentially a blank book to fill in yourself
March 7, 2022
Well, it wasn't THAT bad.
Yes, the story was not that interesting. It was about an average middle-aged white guy, who's a pilot, who's got some issues with his wife, who complains about his coffee and traffic jams on his way to work, who doesn't like "feminine" stuff, reminisces about his time in Thailand, deals with his 4-year-old daughter, says hi to his Chinese neighbor while wondering about Chinese customs... you get the gist.
But then, there were the endings where it seemed like the protagonist/wife might have had an
And then there were some 20+ pages of him at the local supermarket , which was dramatic as hell. (I don't get it, this was the only ending with that level of drama. )
So. It was an interesting book AS a BOOK. But storywise... it's pretty boring. (of course, excluding that one last scene in that one ending...)
It was interesting to find out that the very first time I've read the book (and reached "The End"), where I chose the path that I'll normally choose if I were in the same situation as the protagonist, it was one of the shortest, plainest storyline in the book. I guess it means I'm not suited to be a protagonist of a novel. Oh well.
Oh, I almost forgot. In one of the very last “The End”s, the protagonist suddenly worries that he’s becoming the Bin Laden of the “Boredom”. ahahahahahahhaha. THAT was funny.
Yes, the story was not that interesting. It was about an average middle-aged white guy, who's a pilot, who's got some issues with his wife, who complains about his coffee and traffic jams on his way to work, who doesn't like "feminine" stuff, reminisces about his time in Thailand, deals with his 4-year-old daughter, says hi to his Chinese neighbor while wondering about Chinese customs... you get the gist.
But then, there were the endings where it seemed like the protagonist/wife might have had an
And then there were some 20+ pages of him at the local supermarket , which was dramatic as hell. (I don't get it, this was the only ending with that level of drama. )
So. It was an interesting book AS a BOOK. But storywise... it's pretty boring. (of course, excluding that one last scene in that one ending...)
It was interesting to find out that the very first time I've read the book (and reached "The End"), where I chose the path that I'll normally choose if I were in the same situation as the protagonist, it was one of the shortest, plainest storyline in the book. I guess it means I'm not suited to be a protagonist of a novel. Oh well.
Oh, I almost forgot. In one of the very last “The End”s, the protagonist suddenly worries that he’s becoming the Bin Laden of the “Boredom”. ahahahahahahhaha. THAT was funny.
August 30, 2022
Despite an allegedly exciting youth, in this book you play the most boring character ever written. You can even choose to watch paint dry. Most of your decisions don't matter to your ultimate goal of getting to work on time, though. While the story itself is so boring it's funny, the main interest of the book lies in you-the-reader's accumulation of clues and knowledge that blow right over the head of you-the-character.
January 18, 2019
YOOOO the irony is so #deep, because the book is called boring but its actually FUUUN, yo thats RAD bro af yooooooooooooo. thank you for reading my review, i am also writing a book about this EPIC new avocado diet if anyone is interested, please buy. THANKS SISTERS!
-john HInckley
-john HInckley
June 15, 2021
Boring
Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring very so much lots boring lol.
Boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring very so much lots boring lol.
February 23, 2018
This book was so entertaining and I was glued to the book. There was at no point where I was bored at ALL. Must read.
Join Isopod Central email pyreswrath@gmail.com
Join Isopod Central email pyreswrath@gmail.com
June 6, 2019
Way smarter that I had anticipated.
October 14, 2019
Pop Sugar 2019- a choose your own adventure book.
February 24, 2020
At least it's honest
February 10, 2022
Sometimes you get the right book at just the right time
December 11, 2023
2 stars 1 for being true to the title and the warnings and the other for being a quick read that you can read again with multiple different outcomes.
January 28, 2024
The supermarket part had me cackling! Very Weird Al Trapped in the Drive-thru vibes 😂 Also the wife ninja catching the bowl of cereal
March 19, 2014
This review originally appeared on ObsessiveBookNerd.com
There isn’t a whole lot to The Most Boring Book Ever Written, so this review will most likely be relatively short. This book is a free ebook available wherever you get your digital literature. It’s a “choose your own adventure” book that uses the mundane nature of everyday life as the driving force of its narrative. For the right demographic, it’s a unique blend of nostalgia and adulthood. I was laughing like an idiot at the simple brilliance of this very unique dichotomy.
Your character wakes up and you decide whether he hits the snooze button or gets out of bed. From there, the book says nothing with a level of detail that is downright impressive. There is a lengthy section where the protagonist buys a sandwich at the store. He chitchats with the cashier and then another employee. The writing is stretched a bit here but it’s oddly hilarious if you view the conversations as a study of social awkwardness. The characters exist in a world where a man leaving a credit card at home is a “whole crazy story.”
There are also a number of references to 7-UP mixed into the descriptions of the protagonist’s surroundings. Using the search function on my Kindle app, I learned that there are 25 mentions of 7-UP including such colorful imagery as “The sleek and powerful car sparkles under the early morning sunlight like a freshly poured glass of 7-UP” (Kindle Location 323) and “Roger Wang can proudly lay claim to the best lawn on the block, perpetually as green as a can of 7-UP.” (Kindle Location 466) This absurd “product placement” makes me wonder what motivated the writers to create this book.
Speaking purely as conjecture on my part, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a side project by writers looking to beat writers’ block. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for the existence of this book. It ended up being a somewhat entertaining read. The prose is good and will hold a reader’s attention for as long as it needs to. Therein lies the charm of The Most Boring Book Ever Written. You can read as much of it as you want to alleviate some boredom and walk away from it without the mental attachment to the characters or plot. Or you can stick to it and infer some themes and more grand statements that may or may not be there. Either way, it’s free. You can’t beat that.
There isn’t a whole lot to The Most Boring Book Ever Written, so this review will most likely be relatively short. This book is a free ebook available wherever you get your digital literature. It’s a “choose your own adventure” book that uses the mundane nature of everyday life as the driving force of its narrative. For the right demographic, it’s a unique blend of nostalgia and adulthood. I was laughing like an idiot at the simple brilliance of this very unique dichotomy.
Your character wakes up and you decide whether he hits the snooze button or gets out of bed. From there, the book says nothing with a level of detail that is downright impressive. There is a lengthy section where the protagonist buys a sandwich at the store. He chitchats with the cashier and then another employee. The writing is stretched a bit here but it’s oddly hilarious if you view the conversations as a study of social awkwardness. The characters exist in a world where a man leaving a credit card at home is a “whole crazy story.”
There are also a number of references to 7-UP mixed into the descriptions of the protagonist’s surroundings. Using the search function on my Kindle app, I learned that there are 25 mentions of 7-UP including such colorful imagery as “The sleek and powerful car sparkles under the early morning sunlight like a freshly poured glass of 7-UP” (Kindle Location 323) and “Roger Wang can proudly lay claim to the best lawn on the block, perpetually as green as a can of 7-UP.” (Kindle Location 466) This absurd “product placement” makes me wonder what motivated the writers to create this book.
Speaking purely as conjecture on my part, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a side project by writers looking to beat writers’ block. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for the existence of this book. It ended up being a somewhat entertaining read. The prose is good and will hold a reader’s attention for as long as it needs to. Therein lies the charm of The Most Boring Book Ever Written. You can read as much of it as you want to alleviate some boredom and walk away from it without the mental attachment to the characters or plot. Or you can stick to it and infer some themes and more grand statements that may or may not be there. Either way, it’s free. You can’t beat that.
January 31, 2021
Ronseal!
April 4, 2014
Ummm...well, the title sums it up pretty good. I guess I'm UBER boring, because my story was over within 5 minutes, but I went back and re-chose several times and some of the scenarios are just weird, but kinda entertaining. Like, who the HELL contemplates the effects of conditioner on brain activity? Or even reads the damn conditioner ingredients 3 times (THREE TIMES!!!) And yes, the ENTIRE list of ingredients was repeated in the text 3 times as well. THAT, in itself, should tell ya how boring this one is. Although I will admit to feeling slightly guilty giving it only 3 stars because I DID like what the author did, and he did warn us all it would be boring. I have a feeling I will re-read this sucker til I get every ending possible...kinda like I did in middle school with the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' series.
Read
December 28, 2022Just kidding, I didn't read this book but I did read the following book(s) not on Goodreads...
No Artificial Tweeteners, Douglas Wilson (4/5 stars)
Simply a collection of Pastor W. tweets. Probably the best way to experience Twitter as all dumb controversy is automatically clipped out. Makes for great bits of here and there reading on your phone as you have time.
Who is Jesus?, Jake Mentzel
A good, readable little book about a very basic question. At his best, Mentzel reminds me of Frame in his ability to make you really look at basic truths you've gone noseblind to.
No Artificial Tweeteners, Douglas Wilson (4/5 stars)
Simply a collection of Pastor W. tweets. Probably the best way to experience Twitter as all dumb controversy is automatically clipped out. Makes for great bits of here and there reading on your phone as you have time.
Who is Jesus?, Jake Mentzel
A good, readable little book about a very basic question. At his best, Mentzel reminds me of Frame in his ability to make you really look at basic truths you've gone noseblind to.
March 18, 2015
This book is very timely... Yesterday I was so down and I just decided to read this to occupy my mind. It made me laugh so hard I almost piss my pants. Well... almost. Thank you Rudolf and Daniel for cheering me up in one of the darkest moments of my life...
We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to
Keep me down
Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away
Yes, I'm one of those who stays on the line and don't just hang up.
We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to
Keep me down
Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away
Yes, I'm one of those who stays on the line and don't just hang up.
February 4, 2017
7-Up anyone?
I honestly didn't know what to expect when I initially read the reviews, but I did read it. And, well, this is probably one of the most quirkiest novella's I've ever read!
It's interactive, which is a cool approach, and it's a thinking story. Will you shampoo again, go to the conditioner, or dry off and move on? That's just one pondering question you'll come across. I didn't "buy" this book, I am an Amazon Prime member and "borrowed" it. Even though it's an interesting novella, I wouldn't pay for it, 'cause it's not just worth any price.
I honestly didn't know what to expect when I initially read the reviews, but I did read it. And, well, this is probably one of the most quirkiest novella's I've ever read!
It's interactive, which is a cool approach, and it's a thinking story. Will you shampoo again, go to the conditioner, or dry off and move on? That's just one pondering question you'll come across. I didn't "buy" this book, I am an Amazon Prime member and "borrowed" it. Even though it's an interesting novella, I wouldn't pay for it, 'cause it's not just worth any price.
August 24, 2016
This book gets a star because the author is very honest, the title of the book is exactly what you get. The most boring book ever. After 8 or 10 pages of -waiting in line at the grocery store for my tuna sandwich to be purchased - i thought it was going somewhere but it wasnt. I thought changing my story would be good but it appears I got the longest one, and I couldnt get to a better future. God, this was awful
September 8, 2012
Okay, I didn't finish it. I barely read what I did "read", but if the author really wanted to write the most boring book, he succeeded. I have enough dull moments in my life to not need to read about someone else's conversation about tuna sandwiches with a supermarket clerk. 3 stars for succeeding at the goal of the book, but only 3 for being, well, boring.
April 24, 2015
Very amusing free ebook I came across while looking at choose your own adventure book structures. It is a rather boring account of going to work, but the decisions are funny and there's some great dialogue with the family.
(I'll admit I skim read as some of it is descriptions of mundane stuff but the tongue in cheek sort of humour still makes it an interesting read)
(I'll admit I skim read as some of it is descriptions of mundane stuff but the tongue in cheek sort of humour still makes it an interesting read)
July 3, 2015
This book is actually quite interesting. It's like 10 different books in one. This is the first ever interactive book I've ever read and I am highly enjoying it. I've read through it 3 times now and got a different story each time. I would have have it 5 stars, but the endless 7-up references are really getting on my nerves.
April 10, 2014
Boring
Let's just say the title of this book fits it. I try two different times to read this book and both times I could not get into it. So sad I was just hoping it's title was a joke and the book was actually humorous instead.
Let's just say the title of this book fits it. I try two different times to read this book and both times I could not get into it. So sad I was just hoping it's title was a joke and the book was actually humorous instead.
November 24, 2014
This one lives up to the title. It is a poorly thought out and extremely dull choose-your-own-adventure. It really has no reason for existence and I discovered the hard way that yet again another five minutes of my life was stolen by a horrid book. Don't even bother with this one if it's free.
August 12, 2014
It is how it is
It is how it is
The book's title is a bit more as leading, but the content of the sorry is simple. I some how found it funny the way it was written, because it wasn't what I expected the Most Boring Book to be about.
It is how it is
The book's title is a bit more as leading, but the content of the sorry is simple. I some how found it funny the way it was written, because it wasn't what I expected the Most Boring Book to be about.
Read
November 12, 2020It was boring. So it lived up to its name. I liked how you could choose what to do in it. To be fair I didn't read all of the possibilities but I'm sure they were all boring anyway :-) It was a funny concept and I give the author props for that.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews