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My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints
Dawn Eden, internationally known speaker and author of the bestselling The Thrill of the Chaste , shows how the lives of the saints have given her hope and aided her journey of spiritual healing after childhood sexual abuse. One in four American women and one in six American men report having been sexually abused during childhood and My Peace I Give Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints provides a much-needed resource for spiritual healing from the isolating effects of these wounds.
Eden uses her own story as a backdrop to introduce numerous holy people--like Laura Vicuna, Thomas Aquinas and Bernard of Clairvaux--who suffered sexual abuse or sexual inappropriateness, as well as saints such as Ignatius of Loyola who suffered other forms of mistreatment and abandonment. Readers seeking wholeness will discover saints with wounds like their own, whose stories bear witness to the transforming power of grace. Eden explores different dimensions of divine love--sheltering, compassionate, purifying, etc.--to help those sexually wounded in childhood understand their identity in the abiding love of Christ.
Eden uses her own story as a backdrop to introduce numerous holy people--like Laura Vicuna, Thomas Aquinas and Bernard of Clairvaux--who suffered sexual abuse or sexual inappropriateness, as well as saints such as Ignatius of Loyola who suffered other forms of mistreatment and abandonment. Readers seeking wholeness will discover saints with wounds like their own, whose stories bear witness to the transforming power of grace. Eden explores different dimensions of divine love--sheltering, compassionate, purifying, etc.--to help those sexually wounded in childhood understand their identity in the abiding love of Christ.
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 12, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
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February 13, 2019Dawn has done a generous thing in writing this book, and she takes such care with her own story and with those of others. Her deep affection for the saints—and her respect for their modesty, eliminating all voyeurism from her treatment of their experiences—really shines through.
June 15, 2024
Good. Beautifully chosen saints, intertwined with the most respectful and appropriately written trauma narrative I’ve ever read. Would recommend to anyone whether it’s topically personal or not.
August 1, 2013
Excellent - a good read for anyone who has been through suffering or trauma and once to learn from an interpretation of the lives of saint that suffered. Also some interesting clarifications about martyrdom and virginity in regard to rape victims. Sometimes we herald those who resisted rape and gave up their lives. Even sometimes in sloppy Church citations the success of fending off the assault is seen as a sign of holiness - but where there is no consent there is no sin. And failure to physically overcome an assailant does not negate the heroic virtue exhibited.
That said the true value of this book is to journey with Christ with one who has suffered. For those who have suffered it is a way to walk with Christ. For those who have friends or family who have suffered it is a way to attempt to share in their journey. We always ask the question, "Why does God permit suffering?" This book tries to answer not just with theological words (lex credendi) as much as with stories of the saints in how they lived their Faith in Christ through suffering (Lex agendi.)
I definitely recommend for those who minster to those who have suffered trauma and for htose who are living thorugh those events.
That said the true value of this book is to journey with Christ with one who has suffered. For those who have suffered it is a way to walk with Christ. For those who have friends or family who have suffered it is a way to attempt to share in their journey. We always ask the question, "Why does God permit suffering?" This book tries to answer not just with theological words (lex credendi) as much as with stories of the saints in how they lived their Faith in Christ through suffering (Lex agendi.)
I definitely recommend for those who minster to those who have suffered trauma and for htose who are living thorugh those events.
June 18, 2019
I was recently asked to review another book by Dawn Eden for a theological journal. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to read this book for my own enrichment and to get a better sense of her overall work. I'm so glad I did! This is a book that I will be recommending to a lot of people. It has wonderful insights from Eden on the spiritual life and psychological healing presented through the lives and wisdom of the saints. If you or someone you know is hurting from sexual woundedness, reading this book can be a great step towards healing and wholeness.
November 1, 2014
Excellent book to help all of us who have been sexually abused, as well as to help others to understand this tragic phenomenon. Dawn has written this book with delicacy and hope.
June 19, 2025
Met Dawn Eden, ironically at EWTN, when this book came out. She handed it to me and I put it on the shelf. Years later it I felt a strange pull to read it. So glad I did!
Nothing earth shattering ( hence the 4 instead of 5 stars- I had binged on a ton of theology of the body, and addressing sexual sounds) but I really appreciate the reminders. They were really great and drew me to prayer, which is the ultimate test of a good book like this.
Thank you, Dawn!!
Nothing earth shattering ( hence the 4 instead of 5 stars- I had binged on a ton of theology of the body, and addressing sexual sounds) but I really appreciate the reminders. They were really great and drew me to prayer, which is the ultimate test of a good book like this.
Thank you, Dawn!!
February 4, 2024
This book addresses Catholic survivors/victims of sexual abuse that was NOT perpetrated by priests.
It's an equal mix of theology, psychology, lives of the saints, and Eden's own personal experience. Overall I found it balanced and thoughtful.
It's an equal mix of theology, psychology, lives of the saints, and Eden's own personal experience. Overall I found it balanced and thoughtful.
May 13, 2012
My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints is the new book by Dawn Eden. A book that must have been quite difficult for her to write as it concerns her sexual abuse as a child and the myriad bad routes she took to deal with it.
Though as the title suggest this is not just the telling of a tragedy, but the hope and faith she later found and how the lives of the saints have also helped her in healing. She wisely I believe does not dwell in details of what happened to her but gives a biography of her life and how specifically as a convert to the Catholic Church she was more able to come to grips with what happened and the effects on her life.
After her parents divorce when she was a child she lives in what she describes as a "sexually porous" atmosphere. She writes of this quite frankly, but also admits not all of the details of what she remembers line up with what her mother remembers. But her recollections of her mother walking naked about the house with her boyfriend give some reference to the atmosphere she encountered along with the spiritual journey of her mother which had passed through the New Age movement at some points.
The help she sought in years of psychiatry also did not bring about the healing she required as her sexual aggressiveness was not seen as a problem, but as something positive.
Now as a long time reader of her blog The Dawn Patrol I was already somewhat familiar with her conversion to Christ. When I started to first read her blog she was a pro-life Protestant blogger and so I followed with interest her growing attraction with the Catholic Church and ultimately her coming into the Church. This does not mean that her entrance into the Church was the magic cure-all as she still ran into problems dealing with the result of her past. What I thought made this book exceptionally good was her discoveries that helped bring about deeper healing and how it was the lives of some of the saints that especially helped her in this. Some of the stories of the saints you might be acquainted with, but she also brought out stories of lesser known saints and how the relate to the topic of this book. Some of the stories are quite haunting such as the story of St. Josephine Bakhita.
While this book is on the topic of sexual abuse and its consequences, she purposely did not broaden it to include sexual abuse by priests since she is mostly telling her own story. Though the book should also be helpful for those who suffered such abuse and such fundamental betrayal. I would not limit the book to only those who have suffered sexual abuse.
While I have never suffered sexual abuse, I could identify with what she called a "sexually porous" atmosphere. I was introduced to so-called dirty jokes at a young age from my father along with pornography in the house. After my own parents divorce I was also introduced to frank discussions such as an embarrassing one night stand. That along with an uncle that sometime lived with us and his parade of girlfriends and wives. Thus I was quite sexually fixated as a young child along episodes in grade school and beyond that were part of my first confession. The culture would tell us that just being open about sexuality and being taught about it the younger the better would prevent problems. My experience was otherwise and lead to many bad decisions that troubled even my then-atheist conscience. What my choices might have been had I not been introduced to such an atmosphere I can't say; as people have fallen into these same sins without such an atmosphere. I can only say it was not helpful in the least, especially since I had no moral protection against it. I only bring this up since this book brought back some of these memories and sins and I can also reflect on all the healing I have experience since I came into the Church. What she writes on this subject hopefully will start the process for healing in others who have actually been abused or those other victims of this culture that have also been affected.
Though as the title suggest this is not just the telling of a tragedy, but the hope and faith she later found and how the lives of the saints have also helped her in healing. She wisely I believe does not dwell in details of what happened to her but gives a biography of her life and how specifically as a convert to the Catholic Church she was more able to come to grips with what happened and the effects on her life.
After her parents divorce when she was a child she lives in what she describes as a "sexually porous" atmosphere. She writes of this quite frankly, but also admits not all of the details of what she remembers line up with what her mother remembers. But her recollections of her mother walking naked about the house with her boyfriend give some reference to the atmosphere she encountered along with the spiritual journey of her mother which had passed through the New Age movement at some points.
The help she sought in years of psychiatry also did not bring about the healing she required as her sexual aggressiveness was not seen as a problem, but as something positive.
Now as a long time reader of her blog The Dawn Patrol I was already somewhat familiar with her conversion to Christ. When I started to first read her blog she was a pro-life Protestant blogger and so I followed with interest her growing attraction with the Catholic Church and ultimately her coming into the Church. This does not mean that her entrance into the Church was the magic cure-all as she still ran into problems dealing with the result of her past. What I thought made this book exceptionally good was her discoveries that helped bring about deeper healing and how it was the lives of some of the saints that especially helped her in this. Some of the stories of the saints you might be acquainted with, but she also brought out stories of lesser known saints and how the relate to the topic of this book. Some of the stories are quite haunting such as the story of St. Josephine Bakhita.
While this book is on the topic of sexual abuse and its consequences, she purposely did not broaden it to include sexual abuse by priests since she is mostly telling her own story. Though the book should also be helpful for those who suffered such abuse and such fundamental betrayal. I would not limit the book to only those who have suffered sexual abuse.
While I have never suffered sexual abuse, I could identify with what she called a "sexually porous" atmosphere. I was introduced to so-called dirty jokes at a young age from my father along with pornography in the house. After my own parents divorce I was also introduced to frank discussions such as an embarrassing one night stand. That along with an uncle that sometime lived with us and his parade of girlfriends and wives. Thus I was quite sexually fixated as a young child along episodes in grade school and beyond that were part of my first confession. The culture would tell us that just being open about sexuality and being taught about it the younger the better would prevent problems. My experience was otherwise and lead to many bad decisions that troubled even my then-atheist conscience. What my choices might have been had I not been introduced to such an atmosphere I can't say; as people have fallen into these same sins without such an atmosphere. I can only say it was not helpful in the least, especially since I had no moral protection against it. I only bring this up since this book brought back some of these memories and sins and I can also reflect on all the healing I have experience since I came into the Church. What she writes on this subject hopefully will start the process for healing in others who have actually been abused or those other victims of this culture that have also been affected.
February 1, 2016
Although this book was not exactly what I hoped for, Dawn Eden provides some of the most sound writing on the subject of wounding and forgiveness I've ever read. Eden, herself a victim of childhood sexual abuse, reaches out to all abuse victims but her primary audience seems to be readers already versed in Roman Catholic teaching. Much of the time I felt a bit like I was sitting in on a class for which I missed the prerequisite. This is not to say I felt aggravated, by any means. Only a bit out of the loop and wishing Eden could extend the range of sainthood to the broader communion of saints -- living and dead -- who join us as witness and fellowship. Still, this book will go in my short stack as a ready reference on the subject of healing and forgiveness.
One of the best passages I've read on the subject of forgiveness:
The saint most intriguing from Eden's book:
One of the best passages I've read on the subject of forgiveness:
"Does God want this particular brand of sanctity from us, where we would actually kneel down and kiss the hands of our worst abusers? No, not literally -- evildoers should never be rewarded for their actions... What's more, every person's story is different. Some of us can indeed reach out to those who hurt us the most, allowing ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable for the greater good of reconciliation and healing. For others of us, the most loving thing we can do for our abusers is to keep them from having any opportunity to abuse us ever again.
While in these matters we should, whenever possible, seek advice from someone we trust, no one else can decide our course of action for us. The choice of whether it is best for us to initiate contact with our abuser, or seek to maintain distance, is ultimately between us and God....
Yet, in another way, I believe God does call every one of us to be thankful for our past. We may not be capable of kissing our abusers' hands. But we will one day want to kiss the hands of Jesus -- who, while not willing the abuse (for God never positively wills evil), permitted it to happen, knowing he would bring good out of it."
The saint most intriguing from Eden's book:
"If we want to see a shining example of how cooperation with grace can, over time, lead a deeply wounded person to fulfillment in Christ, we need look no further than Dorothy Day.
...God worked a change in her, the kind of change I believe he works in every wounded person who desires it and is patient with the workings of grace. He transformed her heart so that, instead of seeking to gain love, she sought the grace to give love, to love God through loving her fellow human beings: 'I offered up a special prayer, a prayer which came with tears and with anguish, that some way would open up for me to use what talents I possessed for my fellow workers, for the poor.'
...Dorothy, in giving herself completely to God through neighbor and to neighbor through God, embodied a spiritual motherhood that was truly beyond anything she herself had received."
April 27, 2014
Of course, as a non-Catholic, I must say right away that I disagree with some of the theology of this book (e.g., exultation of Mary, praying to saints, etc.), but beyond those issues, this book blessed me in many ways. And I think that much of the content can apply to more than those who have endured childhood sexual abuse. Anyone who has ever been victimized or suffered in any way can find wisdom, hope, and encouragement in this text.
March 5, 2015
This book is beautifully, clearly, and prayerfully written (though so deep I think I would have to read it several times to absorb everything the author is saying.) It was helpful to me not just for the purpose of processing sexual wounds, but for deepening my understanding of spiritual wounds/scars in general and the process of healing from them. It was incredibly helpful, and I will be keeping it on my shelf so that I can have it handy to lend to others.
August 14, 2013
Useful reading for anyone who has experienced deep suffering and struggles to forgive and move on in life, not just those who have been sexually wounded. Subject matter is handled honestly but sensitively. Great insight into many lives of the saints, recommended.
January 6, 2013
Deep healing is available in these pages. I highly recommend.
January 24, 2015
I had several friends who went through horrific abuse and came out strong. They enjoyed this book and you would too even if you have not gone through sexual abuse.
May 11, 2015
This book is a beautiful tale of symbolism through the stories of the Saints and their healing power to survivors of sexual abuse.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews