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352 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995

And Mr. Winckelmann pulls Helene toward the door and I have to just sit quietly and watch while Mr. Winckelmann takes my darling Helene away from me, Mr. Winckelmann is pulling my darling Helene away from me forever, he is pulling my darling Helene with him, he is pulling her out of the room I rented in Mrs. Winckelmann's apartment, he is grabbing the arm of my darling Helene hard and pulling her away from me and while Mr. Winckelmann is pulling my darling Helene away from me Mrs. Winckelmann just stands in the doorway and watches. My darling Helene is being pulled out of the room by her arm. And he can't do that. And I have to just sit here. And my father is standing over by the window and watching Mr. Winckelmann pull Helene out of the room. My father is staring at Mr. Winckelmann who is pulling my darling Helene out of the room. My darling Helene is being pulled out of the room forever, away from me, away from me forever. And my father doesn't say anything, he just stands there with his cap in his hand, in his wooden shoes, he stands there and watches Mr. Winckelmann pull my darling Helene away from me. And Elizabeth, my darling sister Elizabeth, why are you just standing there and looking up at Mr. Winckelmann??
come to my blog!Og ein dag kom han Lars springende etter henne og gav henne dette biletet, og ho sa vel ikkje takk eingong, tenkjer ho Oline, og ikkje syntest ho vel at biletet var noko særleg, heller, helst var det vel berre noko rableri, syntest ho nok, men ho tok då imot og så hengde det der på veslehuset og der har det nu hange i alle dei år, tenkjer ho Oline, og ho synest vel og etter kvart at biletet er vakkert, og ho skjøner vel og kva Lars kan ha meint med det biletet, gjer ho vel, men å seie det! få sagt kva han kan ha meint! nei det går vel ikkje, eg ho kan vel omogeleg seie det, heller, for då var det vel ikkje noko vits for han Lars å male biletet, då, kan ein vel tenkje, tenkjer ho Oline, men biletet er fint, det, sjølv om det vel helst er noko rableri, fordi han Lars ha malt det, er biletet fint, det meiner ho nok, ja, om einkvan andre enn han Lars hadde malt det, hade ho ikkje synst at det var noko vakkert, tenkjer ho Oline, men no synest ho at biletet er så vakkert at det nesten er som om ho skal ta til tårene når ho ser på det.My translation:
And one day Lars came running after her and gave her this picture, and she didn't even say thank you, thinks Oline, and she didn't think the picture was anything special either, really just a scribble, she thought, but she let him give it to her and she hung it in the outhouse and it's been hanging there all these years, thinks Oline, and in the end she thought the picture was beautiful, and she understands what Lars meant with the picture, she does, but how would she say it! say what he meant! no you can't do that, she could never say it, because then why would Lars have painted the picture would he, thinks Oline, but the picture is lovely, even if it's just a scribble, because Lars painted it the picture is lovely, that's what she thinks, yes, even though if someone else had painted it she wouldn't have thought it was anything special, thinks Oline, but now she thinks the picture is so beautiful that tears almost come to her eyes when she looks at it.Please forgive the infelicities in my translation: this is almost the first thing I've read in nynorsk. But it won't be the last.


"I went to the shop to buy some bread. I went to the shop. To buy some bread. Yes, I Lars Hertervig went to the shop. For some bread. To buy some bread. I went to the shop. I did not have any bread so went to the shop. Yes, I, Lars Hertervig, went to the shop. I walked to the shop, I walked down the street. To buy some bread. I walked to the shop. I needed to buy some bread. I needed to go to the shop. To the shop. What would I do without bread? I needed bread. So I went to the shop. To buy some bread. Yes, I went to the shop to buy some bread. Yes I, Lars. Lars Hertervig needed bread and so I went to the shop. I went to the shop. I went to the shop for bread. To buy some bread."
I am the young Norwegian painter, Lars Hertervig, one of the greatest talents in contemporary Norwegian art, that’s what I am! because I am a great talent. I can really paint. And I’m afraid to hear what Gude says about my picture. Because really, can I paint? I can, it must be true, right? Is there anyone better at painting than me? Maybe I’m even better at painting than Gude, and that’s why Gude wants to tell me I can’t paint? Gude is going to tell me I can’t paint and so I have to go back to Stavanger, I have no business at the Academy of Art, neither this Academy of Art nor any other, that’s what he’ll say, so, he’ll say, I should paint doors, not pictures.
the seagulls are calling. And the seagulls should call, because then everything is all right. When I can't sleep, I like that the seagulls are calling. I want the seagulls to call. And I see the seagulls float across the sky, then they drop straight down, to the surface of the water, beak first, and then the seagulls float slowly up again towards the clouds. I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep, it's good that the seagulls are calling, if I open my eyes I can't see anything and I hear the seagulls call and I see the seagulls float slowly up or down through the sky. I can't sleep. I am lying in bed in the ward, in the sixth bed, counting from the door, and I can't sleep. And to my right in the row of beds are two more beds. The seagulls are calling. I can't sleep and so the seagulls need to call. Now the seagulls are calling. One segull calls, lots of seagulls call.
I am only a turning toward you. I am walking. I am walking to you, I am a turning toward you. I am my longing for you. I am only a turning toward you. I am walking. I am walking to you. I can't do anything else, I can only be a movement turned toward you, whether you're there or not. All I am is a movement toward you. A movement, a turning, toward you.This is the area before we form cohesive thoughts. This is all of those fragments. Not just the fragments of a lunatic. Not just the rantings. This is where we all inhabit. Primitive fragments, repetitive. The loops we are stuck in. The stories we retell ourselves. The images we revisit, again and again, without meaning. The symbols we tie together to compose us. The things we think before we know what we are thinking. And before we know our mood. Or before we have experienced anything yet. Or before we grasp meaning.
— p. 97